Topic: "Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
Delta Airlines is in the midst of a fight against a hostile takeover. Hoping to emerge from Chapter XI Bankruptcy stronger and better able to confront the challenges of competition, the company has recently initiated several new direct flights to overseas locations. Frodo and Sam, upon the conclusion of their recent travel soiree', had the occasion to travel aboard one of these ballyhooed innovations.
It is true that, inexplicably, Frodo and Sam were each served a complimentary miniature bottle of wine, and that it it was, indeed, a pleasant addition to the experience. Ten hours passes so much quicker when the senses are numbed.
It is also true that a complimentary headset allowed Frodo to "surf" the pre-packaged music provided by the "good skies" guys. It was also not too big a turn-off that much of the music had been imported from the Otis Elevator Company. Ten hours also passes quickly while day-dreaming about replacing Emmitt Smith on "Dancing With the Stars."
However, Frodo needs to note that it seems as if the seats are allowed to retract even further than in earlier days. The uncouth Neanderthal in front of Frodo kept her dead butt resting on Frodo's knees for the entire flight. Remember, dear reader, Frodo is a Hobbit, and the extent of his legs is not extraordinary.
The worst part, without a doubt, is the continual re-cycling of air throughout the passenger sections of the plane. Frodo now understands that the relative humidity in these cabins approximates that of the desert Southwest, and that more than 25% of all passengers on extended flights report sinus and bronchial discomfort within 48 hours. It also did not help Frodo that the passenger sharing the three-across seats with Frodo and Sam coughed and hacked his way across the entire Atlantic Ocean. It should be noted by the TSA that this individual appeared to be Arabic.
Frodo is very concerned about safety in the air. Given his recent experience, and the subsequent cold and sinus infections which struck both of the tandem Hobbits, Frodo is proposing that the Department of Homeland Security should screen pre-boarding passengers to identify infectious subjects. Who is to deny the possibility that a terrorist might intentionally infect himself/herself with something communicable? The nomenclature might be for a "Suicide Sneezer," if you will.
If all goes well, they might also consider screening out anyone planning to retract their seat from an upright position.