Topic: "Korea, Korea" (2)
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the White House Press Corps," began the 'Snowman,'"the Secretary of State."
"Thank you Tony, before I take any of your questions, I'd like to announce a major breakthrough in multi-party negotiations with North Korea."
Frodo rolled his eyes at Helen Thomas.
"The Peoples Republic has announced that it will begin to dismember its' nuclear reactor and to totally eliminate all efforts to constitute nuclear weaponry."
Andrea Mitchell's wig nearly fell into Frodo's lap.
"This diplomatic initiative, certainly among the most significant accomplishments of the current administration," and Rice paused long enough for Frodo to whisper to David Schuster, "She means the only," loud enough for the microphones to pick up his words. Slightly flustered, Secretary Rice concluded her comments "is a major step toward ensuring peaceful disarmament in the region."
"Yes, Mr. Frodo," she said as she glared at her adversary and intellectual superior,"what is your question?"
"Madame Secretary, that is certainly a significant public promise, but what exactly do the North Koreans get in exchange?"
"Well, Mr. Frodo, in exchange for 50,000 gallons of oil, and a lifting of any embargo at their main port-of-entry, there were only a few concessions to further the ability of North Korea to care for its' starving people. Now are there any more. . ."
"Excuse me Madame Secretary," said the wary Frodo, "but what sort of concessions EXACTLY?"
Rice's eyes zeroed in on Frodo as if he were a mongoose circling the disturbed cobra. "Well, MR. Frodo, the United States has agreed to provide the North Koreans with certain agricultural supplements. . ."
"What? Like chemicals?"
"No, Mr. Frodo, if you'd let me finish my sentence?"
A chagrined Frodo clammed up long enough for the gargoyle-like stance of the Secretary to swing back to the microphone.
"The United States will provide North Korea with non-chemical additions to their agricultural development program."
"Madame Secretary, just one more follow-up, and I promise to let you move on to the questions sure to emanate from Mr Chris Wallace of Faux News." Frodo smiled at the smirking little weasel.
"Proceed, Mr. Frodo."
"Madame Secretary, I was raised on a farm in the Shire, and for the benefit of others like me, I'm curious as to the nature of these agricultural 'additions,' you mentioned? Can you tell us what exactly we are giving to North Korea?"
"I beg your pardon, did you say Nebraska?"
"I believe that was your last question Mr. Frodo," grinned the Vampire, "and I believe Mr. Wallace has a question."
"Yes Madame Secretary I do. Could you tell us where you got those lovely shoes?"