Mood: vegas lucky
Topic: "Frodo's Final Four" (3)
John McCain (R-Az) has posted his brackets for the 2007 NCAA College Basketball Championship Tournament (commonly referred to as the "Final Four")on his Web Site. That would not be a particularly unique observation if absent the fact Senator McCain had come out publicly against gambling. Well, thinks Frodo, if a decorated War Hero can do it, why can't I? James Dobson and the Newt Gingrich "I have sinned against you, My Lord" retinue will have to stand aside while Frodo joins the sinners and tells all the world that he actually picked the NCAA Championship winner in 1985. He hasn't even scratched since.
The Midwest Regional is dominated by Florida, who returns virtually their entire team from last season when they won the whole thing. Unless all of their starting players break their jockstraps at precisely the same moment, it will be impossible for Florida to lose. Their closest contest will be with the University of Oregon. Frodo will lose interest when Georgia Tech exits in the second round.
The East Regional will be won by Texas, who has the single best player in the country. Unfortunately he has to play with people dumb enough to reside in Texas, and their superior basketball skills will prove subordinate to their stupidity, and they will be crushed once they reach the Final Four. North Carolina, usually, would make mincemeat of a team as flawed as Texas, but the Tarheels have devoted this entire basketball season to an imitation of talent, obfuscated by cash payments to the Widows and Orphans Fund of the Basketball Referees of America.
Kansas will rule in the West, and they will make a good showing against Florida. Frodo likes the underdog Salukis from Southern Illinois. Those guys can play. They will bring pride to their school, and they will also, unfortunately, spawn a million questions about just what in the blazes a Saluki happens to be? Frodo hates this bracket because Pittsburgh plays there. Frodo has never correctly predicted Pittsburgh's performance in this tournament. In truth, Frodo kind of likes the town, he's happiest though, visiting on the 10 days when the temperature is above freezing.
Memphis, like the City for which it is named, is over-hyped and underperforming. Although they win the South, they will shrivel when the game requires more than raw athletic talent. It is scary for Frodo to refer to Florida as being comprised of smarter players than any other team, except, of course, for Tennessee. The game between Tennessee and Virginia will be a reprise of the November elections, when UVA helped save America, at least temporarily, by dumping George Allen. The geniuses in Tennessee passed over Harold Ford, and put in something called a "corker." Frodo will stand and cheer for the spoiled, oversexed, and American, team from Charlottesville.
What truly bothers Frodo about all of this is the fact that he, traditionally, always roots for the best academic school (which is why he is never able to root for Auburn). The University of Pennsylvania faces Texas A&M in the first round of the South Region, and Frodo sells out to the jocks. Silently, he will watch the Quakers bob-and-weave and work incredibly hard, only to be crushed like pumpkins by guys all of whom are at least seven feet tall.
Besides, Texas A&M may be the place where they display "My Pet Goat" when the all the collected readings of George W. Bush are put on display.