Topic: "Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, respective stars of "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report," will both be returning from two weeks of re-runs next Monday, and are they going to be miffed. Not only did the White House arrange for Alberto to resign while they were on vacation, but Senator Larry Craig, the publication of "Dead Certain," and a half-dozen Iraq progress reports (Frodo asks forgiveness for using the words "Iraq" and "progress" in the same sentence) reached the public eye. Frodo, often tempted by conspiracy theories, senses that this particular spate of bizarre events were accumulated for release while the premier satirists of political America were out-of-town. The good news is that Frodo has full faith and confidence in their ability to make up for lost time.
While thinking about clowns, Frodo was reminded that Fred Thompson will announce his candidacy for the GOP nomination before Stewart and Colbert return to the air waves on Monday next. The single best piece of news, outside of a rare victory by Frodo's "gallant Braves" this afternoon, is the fact that Jack will take over for Fred as District Attorney on "Law and Order." Sam Waterston is an accomplished actor, who made Frodo believe that he fell into a pile of skeletal material in Cambodia. He also left Frodo with an ache in his heart when Jill died in an automobile accident, and Lenny Briscoe joined him in the bar. Some actors have that gift.
Fred Thompson lobbied for abortion rights. Didn't know that, did you, dear reader? Before he won the Senate seat of James Sasser (D-TN), Thompson got paid a lot of money to exert influence on politicians for a number of issues which will appear problematical when brought forth during a political campaign. Frodo knows this because he listened to the slimy weasel Dick Morris, who worked on Thompson's first Senate run, disclose these facts to Bill O'Reilly on Faux News (Frodo listens to some of this crap and passes the information on to the Stewart and Colbert). Should Thompson eliminate the rest of the lightweights contending for the GOP nod, his "trophy wife" will have to hire a Nicaraguan Death Squad to eliminate all the groupies who sullied their blue dresses in pursuit of her hubby. The Christian Ecumenical Community is about to experience a spiritual hernia, and Frodo is sure that many will soon be asking themselves "WWJD?"
What would Jerry do? (And there's another topic for conspiracy theorists, who whacked Falwell?).