Topic: "Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
Georgia State Senator Mitch Seabaugh (R-Sharpsburg) has submitted Senate Bill 336 for consideration and possible enactment into law. The legislation prohibits public schools from membership in an association that sets seating requirements for high-school football playoffs. At first blush, thought Frodo, this rather benign proposal merely seeks to ensure that adequate seating is provided for all who seek to support their communities in the annual rites of autumn in the South. After a few seconds however, Frodo went back to re-read the proposal, and he realized that exactly the opposite was being put forth, and, to his delight, he disccovered that the issue dealt not with the stadium capacity, but the width of each individual seat.
The Georgia High School Association (GHSA), the organization that has administrative responsibility for the conduct of the statewide play-off system, had ruled that a measurement of 24 inches was required to determine a single seat. This increase from the old measure, 18 inches, was apparently, to Frodo, a recognition of the fact that there is an obesity issue. What Frodo learned however, was that Senator Seabaugh happened to represent a community served by a school whose total seating capacity, under the new measurement, would be too small for it to serve as the host for any such play-off game.
As Frodo contemplated the complexity of this issue, he wondered about the potential impact upon the Shire. For obvious reasons, Frodo surreptitiously gathered the measuring tape from the desk drawer and wandered into the room where Sam was watching the black-and-white. Avoiding suspicion, he determined that Sam had absolutely nothing to worry about in meeting either classification standard. He could not help but note the "cackle" while he moved afront the mirror in the attempt to judiciously, and objectively, determine his own rating. His conclusion was that he would not be overly crowded should he attend any such event.
(Frodo Note: the use of the term "cackle" benotes the outburst from Senator Clinton in todays Iowa Debate, prior to Senator Obama welcoming her to provide his coming administration with appropriate advisory counsel, at which point one would have thought that she had missed a tackle on the goal line).
Frodo finds high-school football in the American South to be an irritant. Particularly in the early part of the season, when contests between "Tri-Cities" and "Dacula" crowd the airwaves that otherwise carry the exploits of his gallant Braves. Truly important issues, such as Chipper's batting average with runners in scoring position after two are out in the ninth inning must be monitored as they occur. At moments like this, Frodo agrees with Senator Seabaugh that the people who plan these football games are, indeed, big asses. Literally.
What more proof do we need that government actually does work for the people, and that it deals with our biggest issues?