Topic: "Wither Weather?"(4)
Almost exactly one year ago, a few days of sub-freezing temperatures wiped out Georgia's Peach crop. The result included the fact that Frodo had to amend his dietary intake to compensate for the loss of fresh fruit. This physical adjustment made Frodo very grumpy for an extended period of time. Beyond the strictly personal, all the gardens of the Shire lost their blooming flowers, with the resultant brown droppings seeming to emotionally plague the well-being of all inhabitants. It was the grumpiest of times.
Frodo is alarmed at the weather report. An alien frontal system, emanating from Canada, is winging its way through the midwestern US of A, and is bringing the likelihood of a repeat of last year's freeze to a crescendo of probability. Already Frodo feels himself losing patience with the sufferings of the fools in political, journalistic, military, sports, economic, and scientific leadership roles. If Frodo turns negative, what portends the future for those of lesser moral turpitude?
Frodo deems to look forward and offer suggestions for change. Knowing that geographical barriers are a retardant to changes in the weather, e.g. a mountain range preventing clouds from movement beyond the pinnacle, Frodo believes that an artificial blockade on the Canadian border offers hope for the future. Not only would such a boundary block the flow of freezing weather into the Shire, but it would also assist in reducing the access of illegals from Canada. Digging and trucking fill-dirt from a source location in the US of A to the Canadian border would be a massive public works project, thereby creating thousands of jobs for Americans as well as needed income for struggling construction-related firms and businesses.
The obstacles to Frodo's suggestion are minor. What better use could be made of the wasteland known as Texas than to simply dig it up, and move it to Minnesota, North Dakota, and Montana? The vacancy created on the Mexican border would eventually fill with needed water, and establish a natural moat to replace the unnatural, and expensive, fence blockade currently under construction. The costs of construction would be recouped by the reduction in current expense levels for border safety personnel and other Department of Homeland Insecurity requirements.
Yes, dear reader, Frodo is a great believer in the fact that no problem is insoluble. What is most important however, to Frodo that is, is that he do something to ensure a state of systemic regularity in the months to come. Hobbits do not prosper on Milk of Magnesia and Maalox as dietary supplements. Frodo does not look forward to another grumpy year.