Topic: "Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
Eveyone has heard the semi-jest that "To go to Hell, you have to change planes in Atlanta," so it is not surprising that some pretty strange things take place in the confines of Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. The dialogue which follows is added to the circumstances which usurped all of Frodo's creative juices. To the protagonist so identified, Frodo says "Trick or Treat?"
"Who is this?"
"This is Willie, in baggage."
"Sir, you are on a restricted channel and are disrupting communications in the Airport Control Tower."
"Hey man, all I know is I dialed 911, cause I got a serious problem here."
"Sir, clear this line immediately, you are endangering flight control operations."
"Listen here sucker, it's either you gettin' me some help down here, or I'm gonna be a hamburger for the biggest damn cat I've ever seen."
"What? Who are you? Where are you? What are you talkin' about?"
"Not so loud man, he might hear you?"
"Who? He? Repeat. Can I have a supervisor over here, please?"
"Listen, I'm Willie Andrews, workin' baggage, and I jus' opened the cargo hatch on 'dis plane in from Oregon, and here's da biggest damn cat I ever seen."
"So what's. . ."
"Man, he's jes walkin' around like he owns da joint."
"Wait a minute, are you sayin' he's loose? What kind of cat is it?"
"He's a big cat."
"How big? Does he have a mane?"
"What's a mane?"
"Sir, this is Flight Supervisor Landers. Are you reporting a wild animal loose in the baggage compartment of an incoming aircraft at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport? Are you reporting this as an emergency?"
"What the hell you think I'm doin'? Calling Roto-Rooter?"
"Hang up now Sir, I will call you back."
"What you got up there, Caller ID?"
"Security, this is Flight Supervisor Landers, please dispatch a Team to the Baggage Area, we have a potential wild animal threat."
"We have a report by Baggage Handler Willie Andrews that there is a wild feline loose in the baggage compartment of an incoming flight from Oregon. We are diverting all incoming traffic away until such time as you report back to this station."
"According to his on-line photo ID, he's male, about 6'2", 255 pounds."
"I mean the 'feline'."
"Oh, negative on that."
"Hello, Mr. Andrews?"
"Mr. Andrews? Come in."
"Nice kitty, you wanna chew on this phone? Jes' don't use up all my minutes."
FRODO NOTE: the one-year-old female cheetah, en route to the Memphis Zoo, apparently got out of her crate while changing planes. The Delta 757 was brought into a closed hangar and Dr. Sam Rivera, a Zoo Atlanta veterinarian, shot the 90 pound kitty with a tranquilizer gun. She is doing well in quarantine in the Atlanta Zoo, and will continue her journey to her new home next week.
Willie Andrews has filed for early retirement, and is seeking compensatory damages for both the "roaming charges" which appeared on his telephone bill from AT&T, and for dry cleaning.