Topic: "Obama's Generals"(5)
"President Obama Sir, we have a problem."
"A problem, you say? I'm not sure we can limit our challenges to the singular Press Secretary Frodo."
"Sir, this guy Winfield Scott, as Commanding General of the Army, is a dinosaur. There is no way we can meet the challenges of the latter-half of the 19th Century with him in charge of the Armed Forces."
"Well Frodo, if you'll recall, the cornerstone of my election campaign was the issue of change. General Scott has served his country well, but I'm kind of leaning to this guy McClellan to replace him."
"McClellan? Are you crazy? That guy is the closest thing to Caesar's Cassius."
"He does have a 'lean and hungry' look, doesn't he?"
"Sir, he's a back-stabber, who uses words like 'bi-partisan' while he rips your heart out from behind."
"Well what about Ambrose Burnside? He's a patrician, and those prominent 'sideburns' bring attention as soon as he enters a room."
"Yeah, but he is as dumb as a stump, and is probably better off working on a farm in Crawford, Texas."
"Never mind. How about 'Fighting Joe' Hooker? As they say, 'he takes no prisoners,' and he will quickly win the trust of the soldiers themselves."
"I just keep coming back to McClellan."
"Lord God Almighty, anybody but McClellan. How about George Meade?"
"I'm afraid we could hand him certain victory, and he'd stop to water his horse."
"Well, no arguments there. You could try Henry Halleck."
"Halleck? He could be in that job for three years before his secretary would recognize him."
"Ha, that's good. You know, you could take a turn on the kids Sheridan or Sherman?"
"Well, you mentioned the problem there. Neither one of them are barely prepared for anything beyond one Army, much less all of them. I just wonder if McClellan isn't capable of growing into the job?"
"Sir, I'm telling you, that guy is a snake, and he will end up challenging you and your authority as leader of the free states."
"You know, maybe we need to get back once again to what we said we were going to do, and make a complete change."
"Sir, I'm telling you, doing nothing is not an alternative. Winfield Scott can't handle it, and relying on somebody like McClellan to follow your orders would destroy all of your political capital with your supporters, and God knows we've lost almost all of them already. In fact, some of the newspapers are reporting that you might not win re-election."
"I didn't take this job to stay in it the rest of my life."
"I know Sir, but my point is that people are questioning your ability to lead, particularly in this, the greatest potential crisis of confidence our young country has ever faced."
"Frodo, I know all of that. I fully intend to live up to my committments, and one of those was to try and end the violence, the enmity that exists between North and South. I may stumble a time or two, particularly with a General like McClellan, but, hopefully, the principles outlined by our fledgling democracy in our blessed Constitution and Declaration of Independence will temper the ill will that divides our nation."
"Sir, that's why I'm here."
"I, too, Mr. Frodo."
"Excuse me Sir, I have a problem to take up with General Scott before you meet with him."
"Oh, and what is that?"
"I'm not sure, it has something to do with one of our Generals who has been drinking on the job."
"Ha. Sounds like he may be the only one with a shred of sense."