Topic: "America's Toilet" (6)
The Texas Rangers, who play baseball in the suburbs of the ugliest town in the ugliest state, got their asses handed to them last night by a "rag-tag" group from San Francisco, called the Giants. Although Frodo has no allegiance to either team, and the San Francisco Giants eliminated his Gallant Braves from the play-offs, Frodo hates everybody less than he hates anything from Texas. He couldn't help but think that Nancy Pelosi feels much the same, and he is honored to be on her side.
The Dallas Cowboys, whp play in the ugliest stadium in the ugliest town in the ugliest state, have gotten their asses handed to them six times, so far, in the National Football League season. This is particularly galling to Jerry Jones, the owner of "America's Team" (a term stolen from Ted Turner), who built the cornucopic monstrosity that he hoped would be used to host the next Super Bowl, starring of course, the spoiled brats of his payroll. Losses have included that to Frodo's favorites, the Washington Redskins who not only scalped their long-time rivals in their own ballpark, but they basically castrated them. The Cowboys stink so bad that the infamous "Little Sisters of the Poor" are trying to get a game scheduled with them, and the LSOP are already 10-point favorites.
The University of Texas, who play in the only space in the entire state which is totally inhabited by non-cretins, but is surrounded therein by Neanderthals, is unranked in the BCS Rankings for the top college football team. Since Frodo was a mere gleam in his daddy's eye, the "Longhorns" have dominated these rankings, and have always been in the "Top Ten," until this year.
The people of the State of Texas have Governor Rick Perry. One of the Texas Congressional Districts continues to be "manned-up" by Willy Gomert. The worst President in the history of the US of A maintains his brushpiles in Crawford.
As Frodo considers exactly how grim and forlorn life would be for anyone with an IQ greater than that of a bullfrog who was forced, by circumstance and/or fate, to reside in America's Texas outhouse, he concludes that losing a few House seats doesn't really matter much at all. Just think how much worse life could be, "living" in Texas.