Mood: on fire
Topic: "Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
What follows is an actual entry in the Opinion Section (once known as "Letters to the Editor") of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION of December 26, 2010. Frodo's response follows thereafter.
"At last, a column by Cynthia Tucker that is not filled with her spewing hatred of the GOP; ranting about racism, and/or protecting illegal immigrants. . .As a rule (in her liberal opinion), the Republican Party, tea party, and conservatives can do nothing right, and for many of us, her diatribes get really old. Why does she use such big words that most of us need to look up in Webster's to even know what they mean? Cynthia, who are you trying to impress? I for one would much rather you write columns the caliber of this piece--without the show-off words, and your usual vitriol (one of your words, not mine)."--Sheryl Danner, Norcross
Yeah Cynthia, somebody might get the idea that Georgians aren't willing to accept second-best after all, if you keep using big words that Sheryl (from Gwinnett County, no less) can't understand. After all, a national statewide educational ranking that has not risen above 49th in over a decade (including the District of Columbia) should require that you "dumb down" to the level of your readers. Frodo would like to personally suggest a few alternatives to help you properly address readers like Sheryl. Frodo is sure that some of his friends will be glad to help.
How about cretin? Well, that does assume mental illness, so probably not totally appropriate. Moron? That does assume a potential mental age between eight and twelve, and the possibility of routine work under adult supervision, so it is better, but still not perfect. How about dimwit? Webster would define that as one who is mentally slow or stupid, so that's pretty close, don't you think? It might also impress Sheryl, since you are definitely trying to impress somebody, that you turned to Webster, in order to look up big words. As he thinks about it, Frodo has come up with an even better suggestion for classifying Sheryl; why don't we just address her as a Neanderthal?
Sheryl, try page 564 of the Seventh New Collegiate, column two.