Mood: on fire
Topic: "Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Does God read?," asked Frodo.
Taking advantage of the silence, he then asked "If he doesn't, then carrying signs imploring his intervention would be a fruitless act, don't you think?"
Nodding heads seemed to agree.
"Wouldn't it be logical to infer that people carrying signs addressing God would be doing so for some other reason?" Frodo was now on his feet, and out of his chair. "Ladies and Gentlemen, if we accept the fact that God does not read, then we have to adjudge the presence of signs as something other than an expression of belief."
Drawing to his full height, he said "Let us then agree that God must indeed read our signs, just as he hears our prayers. For what reason other than a prayer would one go to all the trouble of printing up a sign requesting divine intervention?"
"Unless," he thundered, as he spun on his heels in order to address the gallery, "the signs are created for a purpose other than prayer, therefore reflecting a fraud. Could it not be that these false prayers are products intended to offend, to strike at the very heart of that which is true, and decent? Doesn't it follow that such a product would be obscene?"
"By the very words of this Court, in judging that which may be art, and that which may rise from the gutter, there are standards which impact communication. At the very least your Honors, can we not agree, that, intentional or otherwise, signs condemning the fallen to Perdition are obscene?"
"It is beyond our argument to address the vile language of people who insult the memory and the service of our brethren, for you have already deemed that 'free speech' is their right. What we can do is take away their damned signs, labeling them as 'obscenity,' violations of our true 'community standard'."
"Barrister Frodo concludes his arguments before this, our highest Court, with this plea; let them freely demonstrate their monstrous opinion and speak with the split-tongue of the serpent if they so choose, but do not infringe on the sensitivity, nay the integrity, of those of us who choose to address our Maker in tribute unsullied by that which flies in the countenance of our own standards of decency."
"By the way, Justice Roberts. You're an asshole."