"Yes Mr. Frodo, I see your hand raised. Should I address you as Mr. Secretary, or are you my nominee for some other position sure to raise the rankles of the Teabaggettes?"
"Frodo is entirely sufficient, Mr. President."
"Well I usually devote these sessions to questions from the White House Press Corps, but since you are not officially a member of the White House staff either, I suppose answering a question from you is proper."
"Thank you Sir, but I'm not sure you're going to like my question."
"Proceed Mr. Frodo."
"Sir, more than 34,000 citizens have signed a position suggesting that your administration design and construct a 'Death Star' as part of our national security system. As I understand the substance thereof, it would give us the opportunity to destroy any planet, anywhere, which may be an immediate or pending threat to the security of our small, blue planet."
"I am aware of the petition, and am also aware of the fact that the project would add thousands of jobs to our national economy. It would also cost more than a quadrillion dollars."
"Well, my question is, how much is a quadrillion, and if we don't know precisely, then how can we be sure we can't afford it?"
"Are you serious?"
"Sir, I have no idea as to the value of a quadrillion, and given that there is also a proposal to mint a single coin valued at a mere trillion dollars, I'm not sure the Treasury Department knows either."
"What, Mr. Frodo, do you think is the intrinsic value of a 'Death Star' to our national defense?"
"Mr. President, I am more concerned about the aliens in our midst as opposed to the potential threat from galaxies far, far away."
"Illegal aliens you mean?"
"No Sir, I mean those who use terms like secession and a 'return to 1776' in their arguments with those of us who grow weary of their juvenile dialogue."
So you're saying we should construct a 'Death Star' and use it against the NRA?"
"Actually Sir, I hadn't thought of that. I was suggesting that the State of Texas might be the point of initial concentration. Can you imagine how much better life would be in our country if there were no Texas, no Texans, and no Dallas Cowboys?"
"Funny it is, isn't it Mr. Frodo, that just this evening, the "Texans" lost to the "Patriots?"
"Amen, Sir. Now about that quadrillion dollars?"