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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
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"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
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"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
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"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
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"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
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"Power Surge"(9)
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"Preemptive Invasion"
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"Promises to Keep"(9)
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"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
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"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
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"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
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"Radio and TV"(7)
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"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
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"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
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"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
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"Remember These?"
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"Rocket Man" (5)
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"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
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"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
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"San Juan de Capistrano"
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
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"Science Marches On"
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"Second Line (2)"
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"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
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"Selective Service"(8)
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"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
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"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
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"Shenandoah" (6)
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"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
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"Six Days on the Road"
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"Social Security" (7)
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"You Take the High Road"
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"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Ride Your Pony
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Run Far, Run Fast"(7)

On Tuesday it will be two weeks since a stage 2 malignant tumor was removed from the hip of Mick, the Wonder Dog.  While under anaesthesia at that time, 11 of his teeth were also removed.  The veterinarian reported that the tissue samples from the area do not indicate the presence of any more cancer.  He felt scientifically safe in his assessment that there is a 95% likelihood that the cancer will not return.  His stitches, 15 in all, will be removed on Tuesday.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, turned 14 on Mother's Day.  Since his surgery, he has borne a "soft collar" to prevent the canine tendency to lick and scratch at the offending stitches and scarring.  He has attempted neither.  It is as if, to Frodo, he has an awareness of the seriousness of the situation, and that he senses a personal responsiblity for regaining strength. 

When Frodo returns daily from Mount Doom, Mick, the Wonder Dog, has regained enough agility to come down stairs on his own, and to greet Frodo by the gate to the gardens of the Shire.  He cries, out of happiness, almost every time.  When Frodo sits in front of the computer at night, he comes in and places his nose in Frodo's lap, and he lingers for gentle scratching on his ears and neck, and for the meeting of eyes that speak for both parties. 

Tomorrow they travel to Lake Lovey, and it is brutally hot.  Mick, the Wonder Dog, would normally be looking for opportunity to swim with Frodo, following in his wake to assure himself that Frodo will land safely ashore.  With the stitches still in place, it is critical that the potential for infection receive utmost consideration.  This means that there will be no swimming on this trip, and that walks along the shore will be short and closely escorted.

That's okay.  It just means that two old dogs will read a couple of books, and play a few "reindeer games."  Chances are there will be more than one instance of ear-rubbing between friends.  We'll swim next time.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:08 PM EDT
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Monday, May 30, 2011
Let's Get Together And Feel All Right
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Dandy Dale" (7)

Dale was a Blackhawk Helicopter Pilot.  He is the President of the local West Point Alumni Chapter.  He is a third-generation American whose family settled around Chicago after emigrating to the United States from Poland.  He is the Principal of his own Financial Planning Firm, and he is a Libertarian.  He is also one of the Men of Gondor, and he is Frodo's friend.

Dale has been responsible for Frodo meeting and getting to know many people whose stories have been chronicled by the Keeper of the Ring (including the Navigator on the Enola Gay, and one who has been granted the Medal of Honor).  It is appropriate that, on this day, Frodo notes the service, the dedication, and the pride that rests in the actions and the deeds of this heroic young man.  The Men of Gondor can count on Dale, as did every person who ever served under him, to be there as promised, and to do that which is expected.  Frodo stands with his hand over his heart.

Frodo is not a fan of Libertarians (for those who have read most of these pages in full, it is known that he refers to them as "Librarians," since they seem to see the world as if it were merely an extension of the Dewey Decimal System).  In the days after September 11th, 2001, Frodo was one of what seemed like a miniscule number who believed that his country was acting prematurely in the thrust to war against Saddam Hussein.  Dale was aghast that Frodo took the position he did, and Frodo remembers the look of shock and disdain in the eyes of his friend.  Frodo heard him say that he did not know any other "men" who expressed the same opinions as Frodo.  Despite a lifetime of reciting poems about "sticks and stones," Frodo felt a deep hurt, which he cannot forget, as this tale enlivens.

Dale flew helicopters in the Caribbean in pursuit of drug smugglers.  This seemingly dangerous assignment, according to Dale, ended up as just one of many excursions to dozens of beaches.  The "War on Drugs" is a terrible waste of resources, for it accomplishes very little, and enters the government into activities which do not, according to Dale, follow the premises of the Founding Fathers.

Dale stood with Frodo on a warmish December day not too long ago, and said to him, "Have you had a colonoscopy?"  Frodo admitted that it was something he had been deferring.  "What's the matter Mr. Frodo, don't you love Sam?  Do you have no feelings for your friends?"  Frodo went and had the procedure, and all indications were that it was a good thing he did. 

It just goes to show that sometimes our friends are close at hand, even though they may be our harshest of critics, it doesn't mean that they dislike us.  Although it remains a small, blue planet, it is loaded with people who will be there when you really need a friend, or a soldier.  Frodo is glad that there are soldiers, as he is glad that there are those who farm, for he would not be very good at either.  Frodo has learned much from his friend, and he trusts that the feeling will always be mutual. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:14 PM EDT
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Saturday, May 28, 2011
When You're In Love With a Beautiful Woman
Mood:  happy
Topic: "Stan & Ollie"(7)

Visualize Laurel and Hardy.  The setting is the Shire, and the protagonists are Sam, and friend Vonda, who periodically visits in order to assist Sam with the toils of housemaidery.  The antagonist is feline Beau Neau McKitty, who has frequented the Shire ever since the passing of the gallant Howard.  The impetus is the "dog door" which allows the uncontrolled comings and goings of Shire residents who are not tall enough to turn a doorknob.  That, of course, applies to cats as well as dogs.  Scene one,  Act onebegins as Beau Neau McKitty exits the dog door in order to patrol the fenced outdoors in lionesque fashion.

Beau Neau McKitty is obviously grateful for his admission into the Shire.  So grateful in fact that from time-to-time he finds it appropriate to bring Sam a token of his esteem.  Scene two begins with Sam and Vonda working in the food preparation area as Beau Neau McKitty announces his arrival from the outdoors and promptly spits a live chipmonkey at Sam's feet.  This is where the visualization of Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy becomes relevant.

Scene three is the harried discussion between Stan and Ollie about how best to retrieve the present, and to return him, or her, to the great outdoors, without hurting the feelings of Beau Neau McKitty.  The first plan is to herd the visitor out the door.  The second plan is to drive the visitor out from under the stereo.  Plan number three is to corner the visitor into the downstairs bathroom, and to turn out the lights and barricade the door until Frodo comes home.  Beau Neau McKitty, it may be added, now slinks off into the loge and naps until dinnertime or thereabouts.

Act two begins when Frodo does indeed return from his labors upon Mount Doom.  Vonda has long since departed to her province beyond the Shire so Frodo is forced to call upon Sam to assist him in his interpretation of the great Frank Buck, whose motto was, of course, "Bring 'em Back Alive."  Frodo was quite hesitant to engage the assistance of this Stan Laurel wannabe in such a daunting endeavor.  He had no idea how Sam would react solo, without Ollie to assist.

Scene two begins with an argument about top-billing in the drama.  Frodo orders Sam to stand in the doorway of the bathroom and to throw a blanket over the visitor as he/she dashes from cover behind the bidet.  Sam, or Stan, refuses that role, preferring to do the chase initiation, thereby requiring that Frodo trip the snare and gather up the guest/visitor/present (select one).

Scene three begins with Frodo's smile, from ear-to-ear, as he imagines what is to follow, and how it will be recorded for posterity.  In a matter of moments the chipmonkey made a dash for the door, in order to disappear between Frodo's legs and obtain more suitable surroundings.  Frodo reacted as planned, and managed to cover the chipmonkey with the blanket and to neatly sccop his quarry therein.  With Sam dancing from toe-to-toe, Frodo carried the prize out-of-doors, and shook him into the freedom afforded by the flora of the backyard Shire.  All parties were satisfied with the result.

Sam turned to the conquering hero Hobbit, and told him that Vonda had been promised a report on what had just transpired, as Act three commenced.  Frodo suggested that Sam call Vonda and tell her that Frodo had found bloody little footprints running from the bathroom and out into the driveway to where Vonda's motorcar had been parked.  Strangely, he contrived, the footprints ended there, suggesting that the chipmonkey had made his escape by hitching a ride with Vonda.  Frodo imagined the sound thus transmitted across telephone lines as a shriek, and the commencement of another comedy now involving Vonda's husband Daryl.  The play comes to a conclusion as Sam impugns Frodo's sensse of humor while noting his prowess as protector of the Shire.

Exit, stage left.      

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:28 AM EDT
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Sunday, May 22, 2011
I've Been Cheated, Been Mistreated
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Foreclosure Follies" (7)

Tom Bombadil has been a good neighbor, for twenty-two years.  It was not supposed to end this way.  Tom is gone, and his house, once the most attractive bungalow in all the land, stands empty and forlorn.  It is as if the house is lamenting the little girls Katie and Jennie who once lived there, and who played with the noble Lovey in the house next door.  The house seems to be calling for someone new to mow the lawn, and to plant flowers along the sidewalk.  The one thing that is for sure is that Tom Bombadil will view progress from afar.

Tom and his new wife, and her son from a prior marriage, moved to the house next door from Michigan, a land far beyond the temperant shores of the Shire.  The marriage did not last long beyond a year, and Tom found himself all alone, a bachelor in a land of married couples and simple Hobbits.  Several years passed and then the opportunity which breought him to the new land was no more, and Tom struggled with the advent of the twenty-first century.  Things went from bad to worse for the conscientious young man, and debts began to build faster than resources could provide.  He tried every mechanism. but the inevitable grew increasingly apparent, and then the house found its way to the courthouse steps, where Tom Bombadils' twenty-two years of investment disappeared.

Things were not supposed to happen this way.  Tom was going to find happiness in the land next to the Shire, his fortunes would grow, and he would produce and multiply.  Now however, more than one-fifth of a century has passed, and that which was new is now old, and that which was hopeful, now seems hopeless.  Frodo stands before the empty house, and the approaching eve casts shadows where happy neighbors toasted new years and new presidencies.  Easy it would be for the Hobbit to turn back to his own, and to forget that which Tom Bombadil has contributed to all whom he has ever known.

Tom Bombadil said to Frodo as he turned off the path to the Shire for the final time that Frodo should not feel sorry.  Tom was initiating a new adventure, not so terribly far afield, where there are others without spouses, and opportunities to blaze new trails.  He was, to Frodo's amazement and delight, glad that the ordeal was over, and that he could start again, to make his mark.

Frodo is happy for his friend.  He will miss him.  Perhaps the house will not be vacant long, and it will again fill with the voices of good hearts, and gentle people.  Perhaps this is how things are supposed to end, and something else to begin. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:34 PM EDT
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Saturday, May 21, 2011
It's The Right Time of The Night
Mood:  happy
Topic: "Raptor Rapture" (7)

Hourly, May 21st disappears around the small blue planet.  With the exception of a volcanic eruption on Iceland, it does not appear as if the world will end with the arrival of 6 PM anywhere in this particular solar system.  Perhaps that is the error which terminates this particular prediction, just maybe there is a planet out there, somewhere beyond Andromeda, that has just blown itself into microcosmic dust.  It wil take minds like Mulder and Scully to document that the books of Joshua, Leviticus, or Revelations have ever predicted anything, or ever will.  This eve, we know only that there is another 89-year-old kook out there with lots of excuses.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, has cancer.  A telltale lump on his hip was diagnosed by needle biopsy to be malignant.  He will be operated on come Monday, in the early morn.  Frodo and Sam will be with him.

Fiona, while having her teeth cleaned, was noted to have an irregular lump in her throat.  It was small, and it was removed.  It, too, was malignant. 

They both seem concerned, but about each other, and perhaps, about Frodo. 

This day they followed Frodo as he diligently went about his tasks in the front section of the Shire.  The curbs were trimmed.  Weeds were pulled.  Fallen tree limbs and other flotsam were assembled and discarded.  Lawn was mowed.  All the while, Frodo's Company took cover in the soft and cool dirt under bushes in the Shire, and all of the time, standing guard over their compatriot.  Reassuring it is to know that one's back is under such watchful scrutiny.  Sad it is to know that such days cannot last forever.

Recently Frodo said to one of life's longest friends that if there were no dogs in Heaven, then Frodo would choose not to go.  Frodo's friend was shocked, and wielded a philosophied response that only those with souls enter Heaven.  Frodo made a mental note to never again discuss issues like this with his friend, for it is obvious that cross words could enter the conversation at light speed, and that Frodo has no appetite to pick fights with anyone on matters of faith, even Osama bin Laden.

The world will truly come to an end someday, but it will end for Frodo and his companions far sooner.  There just won't be any 89-year-old-fruitcakes out there directing traffic when such truly does occur.  Nor will Sarah Palin ascend to the Presidency.  Should such ever take place, change the title word from "Rapture" to "Rupture."


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:36 PM EDT
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Friday, May 13, 2011
I Got All My Life to Live, I Got All My Love to Give
Mood:  special
Topic: "Country Roads" (7)

Open any map of West Virgina and look for a town called Fairmont.  Got it?  Good, now you're in the general vicinity.  In the town there is but a single school, and only one single school-teacher, for all grades, one-through-eighth.  In the farmhouse where he was borne and then grew up, the floor was unfinished wood, except in the kitchen, where linoleum was used to make cleaning easier.  This was his world when the news eventually reached the little town that our country was under attack.

When he joined the United States Marine Corps, he did not know for sure that there was a Pacific Ocean.  He truly believed that "in defense of America," he would be standing arm-in-arm with others just like him encircling our country at our national borders, keeping our enemies from getting into our backyards and our chicken coops.  Imagine, if you will, what it must have been like when he arrived in California for basic training.

Less than two years later, he was lying face-down in the sands of the island now known to us all, every one.  He heard cheering all around him, and noticed a whole bunch of crazy soldiers exposing themselves, in celebration.  He looked up to see the "second" raising of the first American flag to fly over Japanese soil, less than a thousand feet from his shallow cover on Mount Suribachi.

Earlier, he was "selected" to carry a 70-pound flamethrower, filled with what was baically diesel fuel, in order to help his fellow Marines penetrate the tunnels and the pillboxes that held even the American tanks from entry.  For five days, no progress had been made.  He sprayed one pillbox through the front slit, killing all the enemy inside, turned to face infantry with drawn bayonets, and felled them too.  He told Frodo that two brave Marines died, covering his back.  The fighting continued, but he survived, and the path was opened for his fellow Marines to get off the beaches and into the heartland of Iwo Jima.

Several days later, he was informed that he was being removed from front-line duty in order to receive a "special award."  He did not argue, but he had no idea what the fuss was all about.  All he knew was that he would travel to Hawaii, and from there, take his first airplane flight ever, back to the States.  As he explains it now, the Navy "lost him for seven days on Hawaii."  Eventually, the logistics guys directed him to a B-29 which had one seat available.  He boarded the plane at night, lit up with all sorts of bright lights, and 47 other passengers.  When he found the seat available for him, he noticed the make-up of the others, all of whom had just been rescued from Japanese POW camps.  He realized that the "one seat available" for him was for one who had not survived.

"Mr. Frodo, I will never forget my mind's eye, showing me men that normally weighed 180 or 190 pounds, who now weighed 70 or 80 pounds, who had lost their freedom.  Now that freedom was restored, and the terrible cost of 6,212 dead Marines on Iwo Jima became understandable.  Those were the happiest, most celebratory people I have ever met.  I will never forget that moment."

He was one of eleven men who were the guests of Honor, if you will, at the White House on that day in 1945.  Hard to believe it is that he was nervous, if not scared, as he waited for all the citations to be read, and for all the presentations to be made.  Shivering as he stood before the President of the United States, he felt the gentle hand placed upon his shoulder, and he bowed his head as Harry S. Truman placed the Medal of Honor around his neck. 

The next day he stood before the Commandant of the United States Marine Corps in his office, on a rug.  Never before had he walked upon carpeting.  He was not sure exactly how deep it was, nor how far into it he might sink.  He remembered the message though; he was told to never bring shame to that medal, because it had been earned by many who would never wear it, nor whose names he would ever know.

Frodo has no doubt that Corporal Herschel Woodrow Williams had obeyed those orders to the fullest, every single day thereafter.

Frodo was a civilian on a military compound, with a very diverse audience in attendance, and Frodo watched as the military guys and gals asked for the honor of a salute to or from a member of the Medal of Honor Society.  Every request was met, with smiles, and autographs, and pictures.  In answer to a question, Corporal Williams said that he felt that the "war which remains should be ended, and the military forces rebuilt for the challenges that lie ahead."

That must have been some school teacher, in a one-room schoolhouse, near Fairmont, West Virginia.

NOTE:  Corporal Williams is now 88 years-old, and he is the only Medal of Honor survivor from the State of West Virginia.  He is one of two surviving decorated for action that occurred on Iwo Jima.  Frodo could not help but note, as the smallest and the weakest, that Corporal Williams is only 5' 6".  Perhaps heart deserves a measurement, too.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:17 PM EDT
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Monday, May 9, 2011
I Won't Turn To Someone Else They'd Only Let Me Down
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "Side by Side" (7)

At the school which Frodo attended, everyone looked just the same.  New friends came and went on a biennial schedule as they followed parents to faraway places with strange sounding names, which Frodo has explained before.  Perhaps Frodo's fertile imagination was shaped by his unwillingness to make friends, then watch them disappear as they discovered new horizons.  Like every rule, there were exceptions, not least of which was Legolas.

The ninth year of schooling meant that Frodo could try out for sports.  It was not out of the question for the Hobbit to make a team since the real athletes were housed in facilities, separate but equal, or so it was alleged, in those days not so very long ago.  The basketball gymnasium held potential opportunity for the smallest and the weakest, that is if he ran endlessly and performed the basics with unerring accuracy.  The ordeal began as the mighty midgets formed two lines facing an orange ring against an all-white backdrop.  Frodo looked at the taller, and obviously stronger, one whose position in line corresponded to that of the Hobbit in his.  He was unknown to the Hobbit, so it was only fitting that he would not be very good.

When the part-time gym teacher/boy's shop instructor passed Frodo the ball, it signaled him to bounce the ball three times while running, and then to pass the ball to the unknown one who ran toward the basket from the other line.  Frodo's performance was adequate until he passed the ball behind the unknown one, who, surprisingly, exhibited uncommon grace with the errant pass, and turned a disaster into as graceful a lay-up as the Hobbit had ever seen.  From beneath his head of coal black hair and his facial complexion dotted with spots of Clearasil, he smiled at Frodo as if the entire event had been planned by the two of them in hours of endless practice, together.  Frodo smiled back.

The morning turned slowly to afternoon, and the two unknowns found themselves together in various drills on several occasions.  They scored baskets, ran lay-ups, and rebounded until the very lining of their respective lungs ached.  Frodo recognized that the "new guy" was good, but Frodo failed to realize that Frodo was not an integral part of that success.  That came to bear quickly enough when the "top 20" were picked, and Frodo fell out of contention.  Getting "cut" for the first time is not easy to explain, but it makes crying much too easy for the gender-sensitivities of early male adolesence.

Legolas, as he identified himself, put his arm on Frodo's and offered his hand to his new friend.  He stood straight and tall, and Frodo knew immediately that the broad smile was as true as an arrow aimed at the heart of an Orc.  Frodo no longer felt like crying.  He may not have made the team, but he had commenced one even better.  The Fellowship was under construction. 

Legolas will not remember the story as told by the Hobbit.  Frodo is surprised that the two, who rattle on, even when they rarely visit, as if they had never been apart, have yet to ever talk about their first day in each others presence, and how they met.  Frodo remembers that smile, and glad he is that it remains to this day, just as it was on that day. 

Frodo wonders often about friendship, and how it comes to be.  Why is it that one will be an acquaintance, while another becomes part of a link to either point of focus when a lifetime is under discussion?  It is one of the greatest of mysteries, and Frodo has no answer beyond the anecdotal smile of Legolas, a true champion, and Frodo's dearest friend, to this very day.

Travel safely, until our paths cross again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT
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Saturday, May 7, 2011
I Need Some Hot Stuff Baby Tonight
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Damn Lies" (7)

The endless news cycle breathes support and energy into the use of polling.  When there is nothing else to report, take a poll, and find out if Herman Cain would win electoral districts anywhere in direct head-to-head competition with Harry Reid?  Frodo finds such data to be beyond the pale, and he ignores 99.4%.  There are however, exceptions.

This past week, 61% of Americans polled expressed the belief that Osama bin Laden was now in Hell.  Frodo took pause in order to comprehend the thoughts of the other 39%.  Where, exactly, did they think he might have gone?

Initially, Frodo thought that the most obvious answer would be Texas.  He realized immediately however, that many people would include Texas in the response about Hell, since the two terms are synonymous.  Other contenders, not disclosed in the poll, would logically include Alabama, Arizona, South Carolina, New Jersey, and selected non-Arab locations around the small blue planet which we all inhabit.  Those who happen to believe that bin Laden is still alive would probably opt for locations such as Somalia, Yemen, Detroit, or Gwinnett County.

Frodo has often wondered how many people believe in the idea of Heaven, but he'd never really drawn many conclusions about their feelings toward the opposition.  Obviously, if a huge percentage of people believed in Hell as a potential destination for their eternal recompense for the life they lived on Earth, then surely people would be better behaved during their terrestrial presence, don't you think?  If Frodo knew, for example, that he would be confined to the State of Texas for all of Eternity, unless he changed his behavior, then one could expect the Hobbit to start perusing the New Testament in much greater detail.

Lastly, Frodo recognizes that some in that original 39% may actually be of the mind that there is nothing beyond the River Styx, and that Osama bin Laden is just so much worm shit.  Frodo can accept that conclusion, too.  He hopes however that the worms are some of those grotesque creatures they find residing alongside the undersea chimneys that belch sulfurous gases from the deepest depths.  The offal will be soon seen on "Geographic Explorer."   Admittedly, one could confuse that scenario with New Jersey.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 AM EDT
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Monday, May 2, 2011
What A Difference A Day Makes
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Words To Live By"(7)

"Sighted Sub, Sank Same."--report from US destroyer in waters off the coast of Japan, 1944.

"Achtung, Schpitfeuer."--intercepted radio transmission between German aircraft off the coast of Great Britain, 1942.

"For God and Country, Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo, EKIA."--per Savannah Guthrie of MSNBC, the transmitted audio received in the White House Situation Room from Seal Team Six to signify the forced demise of Osama bin Laden, May 1, 2011.

Did Osama like Maypo?   May he have all of Eternity to give it a try, every damned day.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:12 PM EDT
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Sunday, May 1, 2011
If You Fall I Will Catch You
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "May Day, Comrade"(7)

Change is good, usually, at least that is what Frodo keeps telling Proud Merry and other members of the Fellowship.  At one time, perhaps by tradition divined by Druids, the significance of the first day of May was a celebration, and participants danced around a May Pole.  Frodo believes that this also spawned the name for the now-silent breakfast product known as "Maypo" (oatmeal mixed with fodder).

About a century ago, another meaning for the day was associated with the Russian Revolution, and the birth of Communism.  Not unlike Maypo however, that form of government has sort of disappeared, and the only celebrations are in places where there are no street lights, and the only people with anything to eat are in the military.  Of course, that which they are consuming may answer the question, "What happened to Maypo?"

The last "World" War produced a number of new additions to the vocabulary of those who speak English.  Without a justifiable jab at those who attempted to describe why Frodo should get up at four AM any day this past week, it was the same source that devised a definition of the words "May" and "Day" to signify an emergency.  Again, the only emergency that Frodo can assume for a day that ends "showers" and brings on "flowers," would reflect upon a bowl of hot oatmeal which has been uncooked in a cupboard for the past 35 years.

"May Day Malone," was the protagonist in one of Frodo's all-time favorite sit-coms, that which was identified simply as "Cheers."  The moniker hung on "Sam Malone" because of his prior history as a relief pitcher called to duty by the embattled Red Stockings whenever an out was required in order to put out a rebellion stemming from Indians, Pirates, Tigers, or (shudder) Yankees.  One could readily assume that no one was too concerned about Communists, Druids, or other "May Day" references when they entered a saloon.  It was also unlikely that Maypo was served, discussed, or remembered by any of the customers who bellied up to the bar.

So why is Frodo spending so much time on a subject as innocuous as oatmeal?  Hey, didn't you see Trump last night?  Frodo thinks it will be a long time before he gets the Maypo off his face, or out of his hair. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:31 PM EDT
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