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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
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Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Come Back When You Grow Up Girl, You're Still Living in a Paper-Doll World
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "McCan't"(9)

The President of the United States has failed at everything, at least in the mind of John McCain.  Frodo finds himself wondering about the emotional stability of the frequent critic from the hallways of the United States Senate.  McCain, it seems, lives only to decipher Libya, Egypt, Syria, North Korea, and Ukraine (among others) as examples of the Obama disaster in American Foreign Policy.  All one must do, according to Frodo, is to wait for the President to make a comment, suggestion, threat, commitment, promise, or whatever, and McCain will be there to call the action as "wrong, again."  Could it be that the old man is merely suffering from a case of sour grapes?

McCain was eighth from the bottom of his graduating class at the Naval Academy.  McCain was shot down during the Vietnam War by an enemy who had no Air Force.  McCain's marriage came unglued when he returned from captivity.  McCain selected Sarah Palin to be his running mate on the Republican Presidential Ticket.  McCain "suspended" his campaign in order to participate in the decision-making addressing the Great Recession (Ed. Note--McCain offered no input and was virtually silent throughout).  Frodo could go on and on, and on, but his point is that those who live in glass houses, twelve at last count, need to realize that their contributions, sadly, ended a long time ago.

Four Americans died inside an American Consulate in Benghazi, Libya.  McCain and his minions from South Carolina and New Hampshire (Frodo offers 25 cents in cash to anyone who can name the Manchester Minion without searching "Google") have introduced the incident as some sort of scandalous effort to ensure the President's re-election.  In truth, none have mentioned the loss of more than 200 US Marines in a place called Beirut when Ronald "Plastic Man" Reagan was President.  In fact, the murderers, be they terrorists or extremists, have never been called to justice. 

Maybe Daryl Issa would join with McCain and solve that one for us?  How does the saying go, "Inquiring Minds Want to Know."  Which probably explains exactly what Frodo's point was from the very beginning.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:04 PM EST
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Thursday, February 20, 2014
I've Got Two Lovers, And I Love Them Both The Same
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Two Americas" (9)

It seems like such a long time ago when the handsome young attorney with the dynamite wife stood before the Democratic Convention and uttered the phrase "two Americas."  Few shared the belief at the time, but history has shown us that as a nation few things have united us as much as the revulsion he generated in our behalf.  Frodo has thought often of his misjudgment of John Edwards, but he is unable to shake the notion that even today there is no majority "for," there is only division.

We are not simply black-or-white, rich-or-poor, liberal-or-conservative, relgious-or humanistic, rather we are some of all of these.  We are closer akin to the Italian Parliament and its multitude of parties unable to obtain a consensus on any issue, destined to grow increasingly frustrated with one another, facing governmental gridlock.

In the 2012 Presidential Election, nary a single electoral district in the State of West Virginia registered a majority for the eventual winner, President Barack Obama.  Since that time, West Virginia has aired the belief of the citizenry that they have no need of the "big" government in Washington.  Things, it seems, go better (even in West Virginia) when the "best" government is the smallest.

That is until somebody notes the fact that things are not going better with either coke (as in coal) or Koch (as in brothers).  Today continues the tortorous amalgam in which the State of West Virginia has shown itself to be absolutely and totally incompetent when it comes to determining the safety of the public water supply.  A previously unknown Governor (at least to Frodo) has exhibited the fact that only the "big" national government has sufficient resources and technical capacity to allow people to bathe in or consume the water supply of the capital city, Charleston..  The citizenry has no alternative but to seek the help of those whom they verbally chastize at every turn.

Frodo hopes that the "big" government does step up to the plate, without fanfare, and delivers for the health and safety of his fellow citizens.  We are, after all, "not the red states, not the blue states, but the United States. . ." and maybe the people of West Virginia paid attention this time.  They need, like Frodo, to recognize when lied to, to say "thank you" to those who pull them out of the fire, and to mean it.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:28 PM EST
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Sunday, February 16, 2014
Old Grey Federales Say 'We coulda had them any day'
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Thriller" (9)

Recently, Frodo read a book entitled "Turn Right at Machu Picchu."  The book was written by a social scientist from Yale University near the 100th anniversary of the "re-discovery" of the fabled ruins in the Andes.  Frodo learned that the first "re-discovery" took place in 1911 in an expedition headed by an earlier social scientist from Yale University.  The 2011 re-discovery was formulated in order to update and expand access to the ruins, and to identify the items purloined at the initial "re-discovery" which should legitimately be returned to the Government of Peru.  Note that this effort was not predominantly gratuitous, it was the realization by Yale that Peru could sue the shit out of them for stealing historical artifacts. 

Enough about the book itself, Frodo's commentary herein deals with a single incident highlighting the changing global environment, and important because it made Frodo laugh out loud.

The Anglos heading the 2011 expedition were accompanied by a number of ancestral Incas who knew the countryside intimately, and who could garner locations from old maps and pictographs.  One evening, while assembled around a warming fire, consuming goodly amounts of locally-brewed beverages, one of the Incas asked of the Anglos "Say, where are you guys from?"

One of the Anglos responded saying "We live in New York."

The Incas stared at one another, and silence prevailed.

Eventually, another Anglo realized that the Incas had no idea where or what New York was, so he said "We are from the United States of America."

Again, the response was met by blank stares and silence.

The expedition leader took charge and said "We are from up North."

"Oh," responded one of the Incas, who now realized that these guys were from someplace that if one walked far enough headed North that eventually one would reach their village.  Things apparently then settled down into a continuation of the libation consumption.  That is, until the original questioner asked

"Is it true that Michael Jackson is dead?"

Frodo has decided that when next he visits a remote location of Middle Earth, such as Mount Storm, that he will wear but one glove and practice his version of the Moon Walk beforehand.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:00 PM EST
Updated: Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:06 PM EST
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Friday, February 14, 2014
There's a Kind of Hush All Over The World
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "501 (c)(4)"

Explaining tax law to a hobbit is akin to teaching a cat to fetch; it is not worth the time.  The issue that has returned Frodo to the keyboard however requires a little, very little I say, knowledge of tax law, if only to put thee, dear reader, on a par with the fools around you.

About a hundred years ago, the tax men at the National Revenue were charged by the Congress of the United States with the responsibility to ensure that certain tax-exempt organizations utilized the revenue received exclusively for the purposes specified.  If the money was supposed to support the Salvation Army for example, then the tax guys made sure that was the case, and that none of the money would be used to benefit somebody else.

Okay so far?

In 1959, amid the Eisenhower Administration, somebody, and "somebody" is used because nobody actually knpws who, basically changed the wording of the responsibility without either telling anybody or seeking legislative approval.  The word "exclusively" (as utilized above) was replaced by the word "primarily."  The effect being, ever since that change was made, the tax men have for example, accepted the tax exempt return of the Salvation Army if the revenue collected was "primarily" for Salvation Army purposes, even if some of the revenue was used for other purposes, say like political contributions.

The point being that those instructions to the Revnue Department, ever since 1959, have been and are, illegal. 

The effect of what has taken place is still not clear, since our elected representatives are only recently even aware of the "problem."  This may explain why you haven't heard much from Congressman Daryl Issa (R-CA) regarding the "scandal" at the IRS of late.  From all appearances, it seems quixotic, at best, that Republicans would seek to pursue an investigation that failed to include the source of the problem itself.  It would be interesting, to say the least, just how much of that "primarily" money went into Republocan coffers, don't ya think? 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:57 PM EST
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Friday, December 20, 2013
19th Nervous Breakdown
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Falling Apart" (9)

It is more than likely that Frodo will maintain a level of silence throughout the remainder of the year of our Lord, 2013.  President Obama just concluded his "final" press conference for the year, and is winging his way to his home state for rest and recreation.  The Congress of the United States, as if anybody cared, has gone into recess, again, and is doing whatever it is that failures do day in and day out.  Frodo's favorite athletic teams are out of contention for any recognition.  His aches and pains grow increasingly bothersome, leaving him with a sense of anxiety that just maybe the planned surgical promises may not be kept.  Times, it seems, could be better for the Hobbit.

There is a backlog to his reading which will be the subject of a weeklong jihad.  The temperatures in the swamps and beaches are approaching 80, and there is no forecast of precipitation, of any kind.  Dandy and Tess seem to sense that they are about to return to the place with all that untouchable water amid the endless shoreline.  Sam looks haggard, and needs the rest amid concerns about the wounded Frodo.  Sam's sister, who seems to be an eternal case of bronchitis, accompanies the Hobbits and passes her cough in the direction of our wounded warrior.

Frodo's biggest challenge will be a meaningfully inexpensive Christmas present for Sam.  Recognizing the fact that the Hobbits do indeed have "everything," sad experience has taught him that something personal and thoughtful is expected (One year, Frodo assembled 10 or 12 boxes of tea which addressed a partcularly bleak winter not so long ago).  If the situation were reversed, Frodo would hope for a tee shirt carrying the Spanish words "El Oso Blanco," hardly appropriate for Sam, which identifies the new slugging hero of Frodo's gallant Braves.

Frodo rang the bell again for the benefit of the army with salvation in its heart.  Dear friends throughout Middle Earth contributed in his memory, telling unidentified exasperated volunteers that they were there "For Frodo."  Despite the anxieties and the disappointments, Frodo always finds an opportunity to smile at the little touch of consternation which he brings to those who never take him too seriously.  That, and a toddy or two.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:35 PM EST
Updated: Friday, December 20, 2013 4:39 PM EST
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Monday, December 9, 2013
Stop, Stop, Stop All The Dancing, Give Me Time to Breathe
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Ceramic s"

Changes in life are rarely printed on a menu so that one may order in sequence.  A salad, for example, will not necessarily follow the soup if there is a medical problem brought on by years of over-utilization.  So discovered the Hobbit when he kept noticing a pain in his ass, not otherwise identified as Ted Cruz.

The X-rays easily allowed the medical practitioner to identify bone spurs and the concomitant absence of lubricating gel between the hip bone "connected to the thigh bone" and so on.  Decisions were made once the surgeon stated that things would never improve.  Sam inhaled when notice was posted, and since that time has tried to do Frodo's daily tasks as well as those which fall under the responsibilities of the wisest.  Frodo feels as if he has aged forty years, despite the assurances of the Fellowship, and those previously confronted by structural deficiencies requiring repair.

The Surgeon explained to Frodo that a new and improved ceramic model would replace his left hip, and Frodo assumes that should said premise not occur, then he could use the ceramics as ornamentals on this years Christmas tree.  He might also make the materials available to NASA for use as a nose cone on some future Martian Explorer.  Hopefully, however, variables of this nature will not come under further consideration.  The problem will be in amendments to the "bucket list" of the Hobbit.

Frodo will never again shoot a jump shot from the top of the key, nor will he again dive for a line drive in center field.  The Hobbit will never again break into a final sprint to the finish.  He will never again ride horseback in South Mountain Park, even atop a blind traveler under the expert tutelage once available to him.  He will continue for years hence, but he will always have to avoid the fall. 

The Ring is a constant threat, and his undoing it will be.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST
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Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Ring, Ring Goes The Bell
Mood:  bright
Topic: "105 Minute Workday"(9)

Frodo is a great fan of Tom Friedman.  In addition to the depth of his understanding as it relates to world affairs, Friedman actually goes to the places he writes about.  He does more than interview world leaders when he walks the streets of the West Bank, or, in this case, visits an elementary school in China.

Friedman discovered that the school systems with the highest level of achievement also have the teachers with the greatest amount of time devoted to classroom preparation.  Recently, he reported that his viewing of several courses in "foreign" studies were conducted by teachers in 35 minute segments, thrice daily.  That's right, dear reader, you read that correctly, the teachers spend 105 minutes of each day in the classroom; the rest of the day is preparation for the following day.  The process is universal, be it math, science, languages, or whatever, 35 minutes facing one teacher, then off you go to another.

Can you imagine, dear reader, your local school board, elected by people who are most concerned about property tax rates?  Could you imagine their reaction to teachers engaged in a classroom less than two hours out of an eight-hour workday?  The Tea Party would burn blackboards and back packs rather than admit that anything less than eight hours multiplying times four would enhance the performance of their little (minded) darlings. 

Frodo will stay away from any value judgments on the Chinese educational system, or any behavioral comparisons with what is the experience in Middle Earth.  He will however, offer one piece of rhetorical fact which should cause the engaged to expand an horizon, or two.  Not long ago, at Georgia Tech, in the Freshman Introductory Course (first-year students only), in Physics, 9 of the top 10 students by GPA were Chinese.  The other was an Israeli.

Frodo wonders how many were on the football team? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:18 PM EDT
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Monday, October 28, 2013
I Can't Dance, I Can't Dance
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)

One might surmise that Halloween was on the mind of the Hobbit, but nothing could be further from the truth.  By the same token, one might believe that another year without Bilbo saying "I know right where I was at 10:55 AM," would receive more than a wistful sigh in the wind.  Frodo has been wounded, and his futile attempts to ignore the pain reflect upon his lack of judgment.

Frodo was wounded by the Black Riders in the great book, and his eventual departure from the Shire was the result.  He suffered throughout his adventure, but refused to let it deter him from his struggle as the smallest and the weakest.  This day, masses of bone matter congeal at the left hip and knee of the Hobbit.  He is unable to face any challenger with the assurance that he could stand throughout.  It is a feeling completely foreign to him.

The advances of modern medical technology truly boggle the mind, but the sheer thought of chemical mish-mash sloshing about in his colon goes beyond the practical.  Similarly, Frodo can not imagine replacing part of his skeletal frame with something approaching the world of robotics.  His alternative it seems, is to endure.

He knows now what that rocking chair must have meant to John Kennedy.  To endure is a noble effort, but that doesn't mean much when putting on a sock becomes an Olmpic event.  Sam is nearby, willing to help when asked.  The rest of the Fellowship need not know now.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 24, 2013
Baby, something beautiful is dying
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "I can hope, can't I?"(9)

Frodo slipped a leash around her neck and pulled it snug.  He stepped back from the door and led her down the concrete walkway and out the door.  He opened the outdoor run and released the leash as she bound into the sunlight.  It was only then that Frodo noticed the ears, and her coat.  He choked and stopped breathing.

Her ears had been snipped, probably by pinking shears.  Her coat was almost turquoise, that which was left.  Whatever had taken place was intended to make her angry and to fight.  Her eyes were empty. 

While others watched, the Hobbit fetched a gentle brush and, from her shoulder, he brushed back toward her tail. Immediately she turned to face Frodo, and he suddenly realized that he had placed himself in a truly vulnerable position.  Her eyes however, told him that he had done something truly warm and special.  If a dog has ever truly broken into tears, it took place at that moment.  Frodo knows.

She wiggled under each and every stroke that rippled the muscles of that magnificent body.  She stood on her hind legs and wrapped her front legs around the waist of the Hobbit, and she whimpered.  For a few short moments they circled the run and she danced with the Hobbit.  Frodo's friends watched and no one spoke, nor did any object at the extra time spent with one who needed the grace of her new if not only friend in all the world.

Frodo led her back to her cage, and he gently removed the leash from around her neck while rubbing his hands under her chin.  Their eyes met, and she kissed his hand.  Frodo pulled her to him and kissed her on the nose, and then he was gone.

Seven days later Frodo returned, and began, in turn, to walk each and every one under his charge.  He had not been able to keep cage number 53, unnamed, off his mind.  As he turned to that walkway, he saw her bouncing expectantly for whoever would come to take her out into the sunshine and a place to evacuate without messing up her cage.  Frodo wondered if she, then he knew.

Their eyes met, and number 53 melted into the arms of her wonderful best friend with the magic brush.  She followed him outside and again they danced in each others arms.  Frodo swears that he heard Strauss playing "The Emperor's Waltz," and, soon, he noticed people watching, marveling at something so simply beautiful as a dog and a Hobbit.  Again he returned her to her cage and kissed her good-bye.

Another week had passed, and Frodo knew that pit bulls have little chance of rescue, and there are too few facilities to stop the inevitable.  Frodo turned the walkway and almost sprinted to cage 53 as he heard the joyful cry of his friend, with her coat growing back, her ears healing, and a roomful of amazed and amazing people who had been waiting to watch them dance in the sunshine.  When he led her back, he noticed that a marketing package was attached to her cage by other volunteers, trying to help in the adoption process.  They had named her "Smiley," and they remarked about how one so tortured had emerged as a butterfly from the cocoon of inhumanity.  Frodo cried again, but this time with a little genuine hope.

When next he arrived cage 53 had an unknown inhabitant.  Frodo looked quickly, then he noticed that there was no crowd about.  No one offered solace to the Hobbit, assuring him that "Smiley" had found a home.  Frodo asked no questions, he simply went on about his business, looking for someone else needing a brush, while he hummed an Austrian tune from long ago.  All the while hoping that "Smiley" was in a gentle back yard, being loved by a golden family who needed a good dog.

Today, as everyday, 9000, that's right nine thousand, dogs are euthanized in America.  Maybe, just maybe, on one day, it was only 8999.  Small victories, perhaps.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:50 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, October 24, 2013 3:55 PM EDT
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Monday, October 21, 2013
Why Can't We Be Friends?
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)

"Hearye, Hearye, all those with business before this Court are called to order.  The first in order of business is the matter of the State of Florida-v-the State of Georgia.  Whos speaks on behalf of the plaintiff in this matter?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, I, the eminently unqualified Governor of Florida, Rick Scott, doth petition this Court on behalf of the State of which I serve as Governor." 

"Speak ye then."

"Your Honours, the State of Florida and its people suffer needlessly because of the actions of the State of Georgia to restrict the flow of fresh water.  As you know, Georgia alleges that the phenomental growth in the Atlanta area requires sufficient freshwater resources for the commercial and residential properties and activities which drive the local economy.  The State of Florida is not unsympathetic, however the diversion of natural-flow water has the impact of destroying the oyster industry in the Gulf of Mexico as well as hindering industry everywhere beneath metropolitan Atlanta."


"Yes Justice Soto-Maior."

"You are referring, I assume, to the practice of the closure of spillways by the Army Corps of Engineers?"

"That is correct your Honor.  It is important to note that even though the physical diversion takes place at the hand of a federal agency, it is in support of the stated needs of Georgia.  Florida has not been awarded proper legal authority to service the needs of its populace."


"Yes Justice?  I say, who spoke?"

"I did."

Aside.  "Who's the black guy?"

Aside.  "That's Justice Thomas."

Aside   "No shit.  I didn't think he could talk.  Has he ever spoken in public before?"

"Am I keeping you Governor?"

"I apologize your Honor.  What say you?"

"Governor, is it not true that this Court has held numerous times that in similar matters the rights of the individual states are consistent with the natural-flow?"

"That is absolutely correct your Honor."

"Then why, pray tell, are we here discussing the same issue again?"

"I'm afraid your Honor that I have no answer, and plead only that the issue should be so addressed to the defense."

"Mr. Frodo, I believe, are you representing the State of Georgia in this matter?"

"I am, your Honor, given the fact that Georgia has the dumbest collection of elected office-holders in all the land, I am, by definition the last man standing."

"You say you're standing?"

"Despite my limited height, I have not committed $24M to a project known as 'Go Fish' as did Former Governor Perdue.  Nor have I forsaken the guarantee of the federal government to totally fund an expansion of $300B Medicare benefits for the next three years, as has Governor (Bad) Deal.  Our Republican Congressional representatives have likewise. . ."

"That's enough Mr. Frodo, can we return to the question I raised with Governor Scott?"

"Absolutely your Honor."

"Well then, suppose you tell me why we shouldn't conclude these proceedings forthwith?"

"Because of Bob Sikes' Cut."

"What Sir, are you talking about?"

"Sir, the State of Florida, the Corps of Engineers, and the local populace jointly unrtook a project to separate the barrier Saint Georges Island into two parts.  The plan and subsequent result was to increase access into the oyster beds in the sound.  The resultant decrease in oyster harvest lies specifically therein."

"In what way may I ask?"

"Your Honor, the flow of water into the sound has traditionally been from the freshwater rivers entering Florida from Georgia.  The addition of flow from the ocean depths by what is known as Bob Sikes' Cut is saltwater, not freshwater."


"Sir, saltwater kills oysters.  Oysters require a balance of fresh and saltwater."

"I object your Honor."

"Didn't you tell me just a moment ago that I should address my questions to the defense?"

"Your Honor, if I may sum up very briefly?"


"Greed, your Honor, drove the actions of incompetent politicians in Florida.  By opening a new pathway into the sensitive oyster beds, they helped destroy a thriving industry.  Short term gains produce catastrophic results when the science is ignored, and greed takes its place in governmental debate."

"Well, shut my mouth."

"Your Honor, that will be the second best thing to come out of these proceedings."




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:16 PM EDT
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