Mood: surprised
Topic: "Vat of Chocolate"(6)
A snippet of news brought the Hobbit out of his somnambulistic state when he learned that the former President, and current moron, George W. Bush had been forced to cancel his first scheduled European appearance since, thankfully, leaving office. It seems that an organization known as the United Israel Appeal had invited him to speak in their behalf in Geneva, but that a number of European human rights groups and the Center for Constitutional Rights had called for demonstrations and threatened legal action. Although the Swiss Justice Ministry had concluded that that the Incomparable Moron would be immune from prosecution for allegedly sanctioning torture of suspected terrorists, the threat of violence resulted in cancellation.
Frodo could not help but imagine what might have happened in this instance, or in any other location outside Texas or Arizona. Perhaps the conversation would have been like the following:
"Mr. President, we have a problem."
"Durn boy, that sounds kind of ominous. You sure you're not one of those guys who flew in Apollo 13?"
"Sir, the State Department has relayed to Ground Control their communication with Swiss authorities about a significant disturbance on the ground at the airport in Geneva."
"A disturbance?"
"Yessir, it seems that, apparently, tens of thousands of people are gathering at the airport in order to demonstrate against your arrival, and the crowd is growing exponentially."
"Well dang, how'd them Frogs even know that I was droppin' in for a private visit?"
"Sir, it has to do with what is known as the 'social media,' and the capacity of so many young techno-savvy individuals to share information. The word has spread among the young, and they have organized all of this on their own."
"Well, why can't we just ignore them, and follow a police escort to the speaking engagement? Damn, I spent 8 years ignoring people, it ain't hard."
"Well Sir, the problem seems to be that they have what seems to be a huge vat of Swiss chocolate on the tarmac, and that they are intent in throwing you into it."
"Chocolate?"
"Yessir, according to the 'tweets' intercepted at Ground Control, they seem to think that if they wait for our plane to land and to come to a halt, they can rush the plane, throw you into the vat of chocolate, and that you will drown before you realize that yelling 'Chocolate!' as you come up for air won't be taken seriously and no one will come to your assistance."
"Swiss chocolate?"
Frodo expresses his regrets to the Smothers Brothers, and his appreciation to a bunch of kids in Egypt.