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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
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"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
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"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
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"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
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"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
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"Unademdaze" (4)
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"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sky Rockets in Flight, Afternoon Delight
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Augustus Agonistes" (5)

The day after Labor Day still stands there, for Frodo, as the end of green grass memory.  School began, and barefoot sprints were replaced by organized races on asphalt until Mrs. West, or Mrs. Kettler, or Mrs. Sibert, or Mrs. Armstrong demanded that Frodo open a book to Chapter 4.  For days to come, his eyes would drift beyond the open windows ushering some semblance of respiration to he who sat behind the foul-smelling Jimmy Dailey.  It was far too early to give up the ghost of summer, and make practical use of the confined exercises of mathematics and earth science.  It remains a mystery to Frodo how the month of August has since disappeared from the calendar, and brought those who follow the Hobbit into a classroom a full month early.

"Spring Break" now appears in elementary schools, and it signals the commencement of a family trip to the beach.  Such trips were unknown to he who saw no ocean until the day after his Senior Prom.  Schools were closed on Good Friday and Easter Monday, but this long weekend was usually devoted to church and family picnics, accompanied by major league baseball on the radio.  The fortunate few gathered on vacant red dirt diamonds in the schoolyard and played with five or six on a team, until the absence of light demanded that they seek shelter.  Far better days they were than sunburns on the Gulf Coast.

Some time ago, Frodo did some whitewater rafting on the Chatuge (remember "Deliverance'?), in August, and his band of adventurers were few in number for this very popular activity in the Appalachian region.  Frodo was informed by his guide, that the fact that "the schoolyear" now includes August has drastically affected the prosperity of those who plan and lead such activity.  Ever since that day, Frodo has thought about how, if not why, Middle Earth has felt it necessary to consume August, and to make it just another February.  Frodo knows well that an additional month of staring out those windows would have turned him to a life of crime.

Labor Day is still a month away, yet Frodo thinks about the passage of another summer when he finds himself sedentary and indoors.  Soon the buses will be aligned in the School of the Shire, and innumerable "no-neck monsters" (see Tennessee Williams) will be driven into corrals and imprisoned pending slaughter.  It will be as if summer never existed, and that August was merely an invention of fantasy in the mind of one small Hobbit.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:30 PM EDT
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Saturday, July 25, 2009
Raspberries, Strawberries, The Good Wines We Brew
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "Passion Flowers" (5)

Frodo has always noticed Passion Flowers.  The wildflower, supposedly named for a resemblance to "The Cross" (which Frodo finds to be specious, at best) grows on a vine throughout much of the Appalachian region.  Beside the purple and white flower itself, a green fruit, about the size of a lemon, appears and is said to be a taste treat for certain species of monkey (please note the paucity of wild monkey in the area, once again making Frodo question the veracity of the informants).  Ever since Frodo removed most of the (blech) yellow pine trees from the Shire, he has allowed the vines of the Passion Flower to flow rampantly over the mulch and the low-lying bushes and tree limbs.  He has done so, not only because of his fascination with the flowers but because of the balance in Nature that becomes so easily visible.

Frittalaria are a species of butterfly.  Smaller than a Monarch or an Admiral, they are predominantly a bright orange in color, with little spots of black on the top of their wingspread.  They flutter mightily, and are visible, in one sub-form or another, almost everywhere in Middle Earth, except for that part of Northern Mexico known as Texas (which is an alternative explanation for Frodo's kind feelings toward these visitors to his garden).  Standing atop his front porch, Frodo can see the first of the bouncing butterflies in the Gardens of the Shire, and begins to peer into the undergrowth for the beginning of the miracle.

Passion Flowers are not the only host for Frittalaria, but they must be the favorite.  Right now there begins an abundance of caterpillars, all orange and black with the ugliest looking spikes all over, crawling upon the vines, denuding the plant down to the stringiest of garden detritus.  Once the deforestation is complete, these ugly caterpillars attach themselves nearby, thus bringing the transformation to a crescendo.  For it was a generation of Frittalaria that spread the pollen of the Passion Flower while consuming the nectar, allowing a season of plants to flourish, and providing food for the caterpillars anext.

The story of the Frittalaria is something that Frodo pieced together from his own observations, and a follow-up self-study in a butterfly book purchased at a yard sale.  The soon-to-be explosion of orange in his front yard will draw the attention of even casual passersby.  In a way, Frodo supposes, he has done something to foster, rather than fool, Mother nature. 

Not a bad way to start a new day.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 AM EDT
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Thursday, July 23, 2009
I'm So Hurt
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Stupidly" (5)

Today, Frodo feels a little bit like a Cop in Cambridge.  With the absolute best of intentions, and thinking that he was doing the right thing, he ended up in a brine jar.  As a point of reference only, before we begin this nights tale, let us take note of the fact that Frodo, personally, is rated among the top 1% by all the credit rating agencies.  It reflects both a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of pride, to the industrious nature of our Hobbit friend.

Some months ago, Sam convinced Frodo that the residence in the Shire required some repairs and upgrades.  Despite the collapse of Frodo's business income, sufficient capital remained in savings to take advantage of the favorable offers gathered by Sam.  After much analysis, Sam selected a contractor who would perform certain services, and who would necessarily sub-contract some tasks in order to complete the contract.  Frodo observed as workers came and went, noting that many were Hispanic, and that progress seemed to be satisfactory.

When the work was completed, Sam paid the contractor in full and the Hobbits commenced their enjoyment in the refurbishments made to the Shire.  A few days later, one of the Hispanic employees of a sub-contractor knocked on Frodo's door, and told Frodo and Sam that he had not been paid by the sub-contractor.  In the presence of the Hispanic employee of the sub-contractor, Sam placed a telephone call to the contractor to alert him to the fact that one of his sub-contractors had evidently not fulfilled his obligation to his workers.  Sam And Frodo explained to the sub-contractor that they had fulfilled their responsibility, but would continue to follow up, simply to be fair to a hard-working guy who seemed to be the innocent victim of circumstances beyond his control.  Both Sam and Frodo were offended by the fact that the poor guy at the bottom of the food-chain was suffering because the money was not flowing as promised.

Several months passed, and nothing else was heard.  Yesterday, Sam called Frodo at Mount Doom, very upset, to tell him that a legal document had arrived in the mail, addressed to Sam and Frodo, informing them that a "mechanic's lien" had been filed with the County by the Hispanic employee of the sub-contractor against their residence in the Shire.  The letter was delivered through the US Mail in a hand-addressed envelope from said guy at the bottom of the food chain.

Frodo and Sam swung into action and Sam raised the roof with both the contractor and the sub-contractor.  At this point in time, it is now known that the Hispanic employee of the sub-contractor was paid, but that he felt it was insufficcient to meet the actual expense he incurred.  The sub-contractor alleges that the employee has not had sufficient work in the interim, and is using this avenue in order to garner enough money to "feed his family."  In short, the contractor is taking an Insurance Bond to the County in order to have the "mechanic's lien" negated, documenting in Court that Frodo and Sam have paid their debt, and that their residence should be removed from the onerous lien.  It will be required of Frodo that he monitor the credit rating agencies in order to assure himself that there is no negative impact on his sterling credit standing.

During the course, Frodo found himself using invective that was ethnically prejudicial.  He realized also that he was in the comparable position of the landholder who had been accused of mistreatment of those who worked in his behalf while harvesting his cotton.  He was, also, not unlike the Cop who thought he was doing his job, and that race was the furtherest thing from his mind when he busted that Harvard Professor for Disorderly Conduct.  Frodo also realized that the "little guy" was just doing everything he could to "feed his family."

Frodo does not often show the conservative stripe that runs along the seams of his trousers.  Tonight however, if that little jerk walked by the Shire, he'd better watch out for the motorcar that is bearing down on him from behind.  Frodo has also learned that he, and his public reputation, is completely vulnerable to the unscrupulous, and that he must increase his wary ways, and sacrifice his instinctive trust in fellow inhabitants of Middle Earth.  Frodo, it seems, was the one who truly acted "stupidly."




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:08 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Born in the USA
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "The 60 Year Struggle"(5)

In 1941, Harry S. Truman sought out General George C. Marshall with the specific intent of volunteering for the United States Army.  Marshall told him at the time that he was "too damn old" for active duty.  Perhaps, muses Frodo, it was that conversation which got Truman to start thinking about health and wellness, if you will.  In any event, come 1948, it was President Harry S. Truman who said Congress could enact a Health Progam in America "anytime it felt like it." 

Barack Obama looks older than he did just six months ago, and it is very obvious that  the Health Program endorsed by his predecessor sixty years ago is going to be the product of a Congress that feels the need, now.  This evening Obama singled out the 139 proposals submitted by Republican lawmakers which have been absorbed into the draft bills coming out of the various Congressional Committees in recent days.  He also railed frequently on the "misinformation" from the political opposition, as well as the familiarity fear that drives a confused public toward the inertia of inaction.  He did so, not because it was a sign of political expediency to lead with the foremost orator in American life today, but because, like Harry S. Truman, he knew that he had to engage in the great struggle before him.

Frodo recalls the countless efforts to "reform" Social Security, and the dire predictions for the American economy should "reform" not take place before the Frodos, and Hobbits like him, wheel around the pools and paths in Arizona, Florida, and  other locations without State Income Tax.  Today we know that "Social Security reform" means Medicare and associated benefits, whose growing revenue requirements seem more massive than the miles traveled by the now ancient spacecraft Voyager.  President Obama made it abundantly clear that "Health Care Reform" changes the diametrics, be it in human or economic terms.  

Despite the allegations that "too much, too fast" has characterized the first six months, Obama reviewed the economic morass which he "inherited," (although true, Frodo wishes he would let the Incomparable Moron simply slip into anonymous ignominy) and concluded that he had to put all of his fingers and toes into the holes in the dike, simultaneously.  Frodo is pretty sure that the day will come when many more will realize the degree of benefit they reaped from the tireless effort to this point, and in the days to come.

Frodo is grateful that Barack Obama was not "too damn old" when he volunteered, and that he was born in the United States of America.

Frodo also wonders what would've happened had Marshall taken Truman up on his offer?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:48 PM EDT
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Saturday, July 18, 2009
By Day I Make The Cars, By Night I Make The Bars
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "What's a Sgarbi?" (5)

"Munich Police Department, Sergeant Frodo here."

"Yes, this is Susanne Klatten, and I wish to report that I'm being blackmailed."

"I see.  Do you know who it is that is blackmailing you?"

"They just called, and identified themselves as the 'Deutschen Volksgruppen Autofahrts'.  I did not recognize the voice, nor am I familiar with such an organization."


"They demanded money and an SUV, or they would release some secretly recorded videotapes which would be potentially damaging to me."

"I beg your pardon, did you say they demanded money, and an SUV?"

"That's correct.  In fact, they asked for a BMW X5 sport utility vehicle, as well as 800,000 Euros."

"The money demand is anticipated surely, but do you have any idea why they asked for a specific automobile?"

"I am Susanne Klatten, and it was my father who founded BMW.  I suppose the blackmailers figured that I have access to both money and motorcars."

"I see.  So, can you explain what it is that is on these videotapes?"

"Well, they allege that they have secretly recorded lovemaking."

"I assume, Fraulein (?) Klatten, that you are not alone in these alleged videotapes.  Is the alleged partner one person only?"

"Yes, with me."

"Who, if you don't mind me asking, is also in the alleged videotapes?"

"His name is Hans Sgarbi."

"Is he local?  I'll need his address and telephone number."

"He is from Switzerland."

"You said, 'with me', does that mean that there is something else that might be important in the videotapes?"

"They said that there are scenes of others, mostly American politicians, also in compromising positions."

"Do you know those people?"

"Oh, I don't associate with them, they were all such petty men, and the women were trashy, especially the one from Argentina.  I know some of their names, I suppose."

"Fraulein, where were these alleged videotapes made?"

"In the United States.  In Washington."

"Well why are you being singled out, do you think, by the blackmailers, if they have politicans in compromising positions?"

"Oh, they said they were also contacting all of the parties involved, and making demands on each of them, and that they would send the videotapes to the Italian press if anyone fails to meet their demands."

"Is that so?  Would Mr. Sgarbi be familiar with any of the other parties in the alleged videotapes?"

"Yes, he would, he lives in that residence with all the others, when he is in Washington?"

"Are you saying that all of the scenes took place in the same location?"

"That's correct."

"In Washington?"


"And that some, or all of the participants, except you of course, lived there?"

"That's correct."

"Can you give me a few of the names of those who resided there, and the address, if you remember it?"

"One was named Sanford, and there was a Pickering, and someone called Ensign, and the silly one, Zach Wamp.  Can you believe that name?  The townhouse is on what is called 'C' Street."

"Ahem.  And you say thast the blackmailers have videotape of all these individuals, as well as yourself, in 'trysts', if you will?"

"That is what they told me."

"What did you tell them?"

"That I would pay."

"What about the SUV?"

"I asked them if they desired a specific color."

"What, if anything, did they say about the others being blackmailed, and what their response was likely to be?"

"If I remember correctly, they said that all of them wanted to arrange payments over time, except for one, whose parents would pay."

"His parents?"

"That's correct."

"How did the telephone call end, what did they tell you to do?"

"They told me to arrange for the money, in cash, and the SUV, and that they would call in a couple of days with further instructions."

"Was that all?"

"The call ended with the voice on the other end simply saying 'Praise Jesus'.

"Praise Jesus?"

"Praise Jesus."








Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:41 AM EDT
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Friday, July 17, 2009
Simply The Best, Better Than All The Rest
Mood:  special
Topic: "That's the way it is"(5)

6;30 PM, five nights a week, in black-and-white, the student lounge was packed.  Hobbits of all shape and size listened to his narrative while they scanned the pictures for friends, themselves.  It was generally quiet, although pictures of Westmoreland or McNamara were too much for anyone with a brain, or a heart.  Through it all, "the most trusted man in America," reporting the news.  When he ended the broadcast, as he did nearly every evening, the throng moved to cafeterias or study carrels, and if the news was bad enough, across the street to a bar.  Frodo will never forget that it was in silence that they moved, every single night, as if everyhting that needed to be said had just been said.

Many years later, Frodo was having sweet trout for luncheon with the President of a large German Bank on Peachtree Street, not far from the Shire.  While they were talking, Frodo noticed the grey mane enter the restaurant and join a table of acquaintances by the window.  "Herr Frodo," said the President of the large German bank, "who is that person?"

"That Sir," said Frodo, "is Walter Cronkite."

"Pardon me Mr. Frodo," but who is this Walter Cronkite?"

Frodo is rarely speechless, but trying to explain just who Walter Cronkite was, to the President of a large German Bank, would be like explaining the game of baseball to Mick, the Wonder Dog.

Frodo simply said, "You see here Sir, the most trusted man in America."

Frodo is not sure if his guest ever understood what Frodo meant, but Frodo sincerely hopes that this evening, wherever he may be, that that President of a large German Bank turns to someone he knows and says, "That was the most trusted man in America."

He went with Frodo to the Moon, and he wiped his eyes with him when the news from Dallas was final.   Through it all, he carried the same message, and the Hobbit would walk away in silence, knowing, or searching.      

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:23 PM EDT
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Sunday, July 12, 2009
Green, Green, It's Green They Say On The Far Side of The Hill
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Sludge Stimulus" (5)

The Atlanta Journal & Constitution asked two public figures the same question in order to elicit an opinion that was either pro or con to the issue at hand.  Representative Jack Kingston (R-GA) who is continually re-elected by the same geographical community that gave us Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, answered "No" to the query, "Is the $787 Billion stimulus working.?"

Representative Kingston said, in part,  "Walk down any street and ask a local business owner 'how's business?'  You'll find that from pet shops to contractors and real estate agents to insurance salesmen, sales are down and times are tight. . . If government spending was the answer, we'd be in great shape, but it's not.  Congress should focus on reducing the cost of doing business through selected small business tax cuts and regulatory relief. . ."

Frodo started to wad up the paper and toss it into the trash can, muttering about the same old sorry answers from Republicans, but decided against it.  Instead, he asked himself, why not take the Congressman up on it, and survey the impact, if any, of the stimulus?  After all, the President said to take dissenting opinions into consideration and to recognize that even a Republican from Savannah might be right once in his life.

The Men of Gondor visited a Sewage Treatment Plant currently under construction in the northern suburbs of Atlanta.  The facility is scheduled to go on-line within a week.  The design firm is a privately held company by the name of Brown & Caldwell.  Frodo has no business association with the firm, although one of the Men of Gondor is an employee of the firm, and conducted Frodo and his friends on the tour.  The gargantuan task of design, coordinate, and implement a facility of this magnitude is a tribute to the efforts of Brown & Caldwell.  One cannot help but marvel at the patience and professionalism exhibited in  public meetings, the hiring of sub-contractors, and the multiplicitous tasks which this company confronts in winning a job, and successfully completing the assignment.

In sum, the facility will produce clean, potable water for a part of Middle Earth that cannot get enough.  The process requires the separation of all waste matter, both solid and gaseous, from the water that is returned into the Chattahoochee River.  At present, the solid "sludge" which is captured in the process is loaded into specially-designed trucks and hauled to nearby landfills.  Being engineers, Brown & Caldwell have been analyzing the sludge, in order to determine if there is a higher use of the solid matter than simply returning it to the earth.

Brown & Caldwell currently is a customer of Georgia Power.  Everything from lightbulbs to back-up generators at all similar facilities are powered by the good works of Georgia Power.  Brown & Caldwell has now devised a method to use methane gas, produced by burning the sludge in special ovens, to provide all of the power that is required to provide electricity to plants such as these.  Frodo, upon hearing this, immediately raised his hand to inquire about the application of this technology for stimulus funding since the obvious benefits to reduce the costs of these facilities and to lessen the demand for conventional electric power seem tailor-made for the intent of the program.

Frodo learned, to his chagrin, that the concept had been in development for several years, and the theoreticals have all been completed.  However, the availability of stimulus funding means that Brown & Caldwell can begin to implement this "sludge technology" a full THREE YEARS ahead of the timetable that existed before the stimulus was approved.  In other words, probably the very next facility they design and build will produce its own power, from poop.

It is Frodo's fond desire to shine a flashlight into either of Mr. Kingston's ears, in order to prove that , once again, there is nothing between them.

Pass it on, dear reader, the next time some "dimwit" tells you the stimulus is not working, tell them you can prove it is.  Business may, indeed, suck, but as long as there are companies like Brown & Caldwell, with brains and know-how, we'll be jes fine. 

Now, if we can just find a way to use the waste material put out by Representative Kingston?     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:12 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My Name Is Sue, How Do You Do?
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "EOTUS" (5)

Congress Heights is a section of Washington, D.C. abandoned by all but the poorest of the poor many years ago.  Not unlike Washington itself, the area is overwhelmingly black, crime-ridden, and bearing a per capita income that would be in triple figures at best were it not for governmental largesse.  The flight of the white middle class from Congress Heights parallels the post-War growth of the suburban home and the white picket fence.  For a variety of reasons, certainly including the costs of transportation and real estate itself, there is evidence of a return and a revival of center city neighborhoods in many parts of Middle Earth.  Surprising it is for Frodo to find the United States Government itself standing in the way, and threatening the existence of true urban pioneers.

A pair of American bald eagles have built a nest in the nation's capital for the first time in 63 years.  The National Park Service has confirmed the existence of the nest in that section of town known as Congress Heights.  The disclosure would not have been made public at all until the Department of Homeland Obscurity announced its decision to build its mega-headquarters in the wooded area which surrounds the nest.  The agency has many and varied reasons for the project, but many other people feel that the inevitable result will be a flight to a different location, returning the District of Columbia to a haven for eagles of the concrete statue variety, alone.

Eagles are shy birds that prefer forest and farmland, and their acceptance of a panorama of apartment buildings, a national airport, and the screaming jets of Bolling Air Force Base, certainly signal an unpredictable environmental acceptance of peaceful ccoexistence.  The area of the nest is known as Shepherd Parkway, and it is part of the remains of a Civil War era defensive fort constructed amid a ravine that is deep enough to shield the young.  The Anacostia and Potomac rivers, both of which were once almost polluted beyond redemption, meet nearby, providing a substantial source of fish for the "urban eagles."  The eagle population that was nearly driven to extinction seems to have forgiven us, and is doing its best to join us in the reclamation of our great cities.  "Something is happening in nature out there that we can only speculate about," said Craig Koppie of the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, to the Los Angeles Times.  "They are becoming more tolerant of us."

There is no doubt that Congress Heights would benefit mightily by the jobs, the improvements in the infrastructure, and the return of a diverse population to the neighborhood.  There is however, a greater risk.  That risk being people having to do the job alone, without the assistance of those winged homesteaders known by the Park Rangers as "DC-07-01."     

To Frodo, they are, and will always be known by what he imagines would be their Secret Service identification, that being, of course "EOTUS."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009
There's Nothing That a Hundred Men or More Could Ever Do
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Hi Jinx" (5)

Frodo often composes at the keyboard, generally with no sense of where he's going, or what he's going to do when he gets there.  This evening, as he logged on to his service provider, he noted that 166 "hits" had taken place on this day by those attempting to access the wit and wisdom of the Hobbit.  Curiously he noted also that a cumulative number for the month now totaled 6,279.  Since today has been the first day of a new month, it struck Frodo as a bit quixotic, if not inexplicable, that such a variance would exist.

Frodo multiplied 166 by 30 days in June to see if the product might represent an average approximating 6,279.  Not even close.

From the other room, Frodo could hear that the Gallant Braves had just completed a thrashing of the Filthydelphia Fillies, by a score of 11 to 1, so Frodo took the run differential between the two teams, multiplied that figure by the value of pi (2.14, if memories-all terrible-served him correctly), and multiplied that figure by 30 days in June.  Still not in the right neighborhood.

Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, are both 12 years old.  In dog years they are each approximately 84, so doubling that figure gives us almost exactly the number of "hits" on a given day, ergo all we have to do now is to extrapolate the figure of 6,279 following a similar computational theorem.

Dividing 6,279 by the number of days in a given year (365.25, not forgetting leap year) works out to about 17.25, which we can assume to be the number of "hits" each hour.  We can, of course, assume almost anything.  17.25 x 24 equals a figure which doesn't seem to relate to anything, thereby proving that postulate.

Frodo wonders if this is how Marie Curie got her start? 

If nothing else, this little exercise has proven Frodo's original assumption about the results produced by a blank mind upon a fertile keyboard.

Frodo is going to take a few days off now, surprising almost no one.  If it should rain, and the fish won't bite, perhaps he will entertain from a mountaintop in Tennessee.  Otherwise he will simply complain about the use of Communist Chinese explosive devices on the Fourth of July.

Don't we hear nary a "Hurry back, Frodo?"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:38 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 28, 2009
Can You Tell Me What's Ailing Me?
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "A Waisted Day" (5)

Frodo turned on the black-and-white in time to hear the announcers discussing the status of the proposed starting pitcher for the Gallant Braves in their scheduled duel with the Red Stockings from Boston.  The young phenom awakened with a scratchy throat and the early symptoms of the flu bug that seems to be disguising itself as either something porcine, or the product of the aedes inhabitants of backyard birdbaths and swimming pools.  The discussion being that the young phenom may be too sick to pitch.

Frodo has a scratchy throat.  While strolling through the Gardens of the Shire with Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, Frodo felt light-headed, and could not seem to control a cough rising from beneath his breastbone.  Frodo certainly did not feel as if he could go a full nine innings. 

The regimen that followed included products from many of the major pharmaceutical companies, all of whom are apparently aware of Frodo's support for President Obama's Healthcare Reforms.  In the end, Frodo simply sprawled on the couch and watched an entire afternoon's baseball game from start to finish.  By his own count Frodo expended approximately 12 calories throughout the day.  The rest, he knows, was necessary, but he still feels, if you'll pardon the vernacular, like whipped shit.  What makes it worse though is this guilt about letting a day go to waste, and without exercise, to waist.

Frodo, as most know, is an advocate of taking each day and enjoying it to the fullest.  Failing to accomplish anything, or to expend absolutely none of his kinetic energy makes Frodo feel as if he has let himself down. 

The Gallant Braves, and the rookie phenom, were victorious.  Frodo tuned in to the Discovery Channel betweeen innings, and learned that all of Siberia was once a hotbed of volcanic activity, and was truly a "gateway to Hell."  Soon, "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" will come on, and Frodo will match wits with either Jeff Goldblum or Vincent Dionoffrio.  Thereafter he partakes of the grape kool-aid which calms his cough and knocks him out for the entire night.

Which makes him wonder why he doesn't just drink some of that stuff on nights when he feels fine, but can't seem to fall asleep?



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:29 PM EDT
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