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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
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"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
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"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
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"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
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"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
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"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
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"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
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"Problem, Officer?" (5)
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"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
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"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
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"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
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"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"Sticker Shock"
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"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
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"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
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"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
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"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
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"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
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"The Blue Dog"(11)
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"The Good Book" (4)
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"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
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"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
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"The Second Amendment"
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"The Turtle" (3)
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"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"Tom" (4)
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"Video Thriller"(5)
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"W is for Wuss""
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
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"Water into Wine?"
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"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
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"Wedding Bell Blues"
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"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
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"What Mark Felt"
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"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
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"Who dat?" (2)
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"Who Torted?"
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"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
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"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
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"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
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"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Friday, May 7, 2010
Cisco Kid Was A Friend Of Mine
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Startin'fromScratch"(6)

Rare it is that Frodo fails to possess a dominant concern about the state of the world, and rarer still that his synapses are stifled by a malignant myeloma at every turn.  This is such a night, and Frodo pounds a keyboard as if he knew with what the next sentence will begin, and truthfully he has no clue.  With his Title as inspiration, Frodo will astound some, antagonize others, and perhaps say something that will help put something into focus for all of us.

Frodo does not know what his position is on immigration reform.  What he does know is that there are an awful lot of poor and hungry people in this world, and they all seem to want to leave where they are and to go somewhere where the opportunity for three square meals per day is enhanced.  Central Americans knock on the door, or tunnel under it, and head North.  Central Europeans pack themselves into automobiles similar to those once used by employees of Barnum & Bailey, and head North.  Middle Easterners utilize a combination of agrarian and pedestrian resources in order to arrive in geographical dispersions ending in "Stan," "Ance," or "Tain."  Central Africans die before they get there, or they are killed while sitting in tents, waiting to die.  Central Asians are victims of earthquakes, which explains why they smioke so many cigarettes.

With all this movement about our small, blue planet, it seems so illogical that we have no plan for handling the millions of people who have slipped across the borders of the United States.  Didn't we handle the millions of Africans so easily assimilated into our society, says Frodo, in a mere 291 years?  Ed. Note:  Frodo assumes that the beginning point is 1719, the "Red Letter Year" specified in his fourth-grade Virginia History Book.  Italians and the Irish became instant players in the growth of metropolitan establishments like Toledo, Las Vegas, and Newark.  And what about the Japanese?  We even provided them with free housing.

So why can't we accept the fact that these non-English speaking vagabonds are simply a repeat of the orange-pickers from Oklahoma who descended upon California in the 1930's?  The "Okies" didn't speak English either (Frodo defies any reader to translate "Boomer Sooner.")  In fact, the only people who seemed to get out of whack with Tom Joad and company were residents of a couple of Western States.  So maybe this makes the current unpleasantness their problem, and not Frodo's.

Besides, the residents of Arizona are all over 80 and have nothing else to bitch about (except the cost of caskets).

Not bad for not having a clue when this monstrosity commenced, eh what?



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:49 PM EDT
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Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I Guess I'll Never Know The Reason You Love Me Like You Do
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Mickey and Me"(6)

He was born on Mother's Day.  Our eyes met for the first time in the garage where he lived with his Mother, and one remaining sibling.  He walked up to Frodo and promptly sat down on his foot.  Sam said, "Well young man, it looks as if the decision has been made."

Frodo has been known to recommend movies, songs, books, but he has never before taken keyboard in hand in order to warn others away from something that he truly did enjoy.  The movie "Marley and Me" was viewed in the Shire last evening.  Frodo and Sam were joined by Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, in an assembly of eight eyes at various levels of intensity as the light shadows danced upon the screen.  Jennifer Aniston, late of the cognomen Pitt, was Frodo's initial interest in the flick, and her performance of Post-Partum Depression was too real to be accepted with comfort.  Alan Arkin and Kathleen Turner both supplied supporting roles, but Frodo was concentrating on the characters in the title.  Frodo noticed that Mick, the Wonder Dog, moved restleely as he watched the screen at the familiar foot of Frodo.

Perhaps it started with "Old Yeller," but every dog movie that contains the demise of the canine hero has been constructed around an act of violence.  Not so with "Marley and Me," and that is what made the movie special for last night's attendees.  The movie encompasses the writing career of the protagonist, and the dog who joined the happy newly-wed couple.  The story includes the birth of children, and reaches beyond the 40th birthday of the one who plays "Me."  Age is the enemy of relationships such as these, and it is that necessary, but humane, end, which brought sobs from Sam and an open look upon the soul of Frodo for all the world to see.

When the movie concluded, Frodo set about the nightly plan for liquid waste removal for the groggy Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog.  Two tarried, as if they needed a few moments together, simply to let each other know that they felt the same way.  Both have some arthritis and dead sprints across the gardens are a thing of the past for them both.  The moment concluded only after he walked up to Frodo and respectfully sat down on his foot.

Frodo has had a little brother for thirteen years now, and in each of those days he has known just how important he is, and that there is one who appears to enjoy what he has to say.  He is, indeed, a wonder.  


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:00 PM EDT
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Sunday, May 2, 2010
When You See The Southern Cross For The First Time
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "26 Damn Dollars"(6)

The Georgia Legislature passed an ordinance in the early 1980's noting that an increase in the State Sales Tax added to the burden upon the poor.  The very regressive nature of a Sales Tax means that even an increase of a mere penny adds up to something akin to $26 for an individual making less than $20,000 annually.  The ordinance afforded a tax cut of $26 to those Georgia residents whose annual income did not exceed $20,000.  The Georgia Legislature in 2010 has eliminated that provision.  The reasoning, apparently, is that the continuing economic slowdown has forced the State to cut wherever possible in order to meet its constitutional mandate to balance the budget.

The Georgia Legislature in 2010 increased the Capital Gains Exclusion, and increased tax breaks for wealthy retirees who are residents of the State of Georgia.  For sure, these changes encourage those with resources available to spend their "golden years" in Georgia, and to continue investing.  These tax breaks are costly however, and in order to afford them, the Georgia State Legislature, in its infinite wisdom, reasoned that adding to the burden of those at or below any definition of the poverty level is a worthwhile strategy.

The difference between these legislative decisions turns on the fact that it was  Democrats who served as Governor and as the majority in the Legislature at that time.  Today, it is Republicans in the majority.

Perhaps it is true that Democrats sometimes go too far in their generosity and do not exercise adequate control on the expenditure of hard-earned tax dollars.  There are beaucoup examples which generate the opposition to fight tooth-and-nail against frivolous programs, and those whose objectives they deem not to be clearly-defined.  However, the elimination of a clear and distinct benefit to the impoverished goes beyond the pale.  $26, it seems to Frodo, who is admittedly not an expert in this field, would probably constitute one bag of groceries during the course of a year.

Frodo is trying very hard to lower the level of the discourse, as President Obama urges us all to do.  Taking a bag of groceries away from somebody who can ill afford it is, however, much more than Frodo can accept.  To all of his Republican friends in the State of Georgia, and especially to those whom you have elected to serve our State, Frodo simply avers that you suck.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:14 AM EDT
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Saturday, May 1, 2010
"'Til The Night Closes In"(6)
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "A Perfect World"

Frodo is not exactly sure when, and from whose lips, he first heard someone say that if one could simply remove everything that Man had done, then the World would again be perfect.  Frodo has spent a lifetime struggling against that assertion, and just when he thinks that he has documented evidence to the contrary, a group of clucks from Halliburton, or British Petroleum, or the State of Louisiana displace a hundred million gallons of fossilized carbon by-product upon the surface of our small blue planet, and that which is good, dies.

A dozen years ago, Frodo and Sam cruised from the Port of Orleans, down the Mississippi, to the Gulf of Mexico in order to visit selected ports of call in the Western Caribbean.  As they returned to native waters, Frodo stood  the better part of the night-time hours staring, aghast, at the beauty of the oil rigs which lit the skies with multi-colored brightness.  Like the trees of Christmas, the blues and the greens reflected off the orange and pink of the sunset and the rise that followed.  Frodo recalled stories of the improved fishing around the oil rigs, and he marvelled at the capacity of his ship's captain to navigate through the channels marked by these surface portions of structures standing more than three miles above the bottom of the ocean floor.  Frodo convinced himself that Man had taken that which was Nature"s own and used it, properly, for the good of all.

Frodo began to question his assessment when he heard the unwise preaching to the unknowing, and phrases like "drill baby, drill" resonated amidst the clapping and the cheers.  Was it not true, in spite of the best of governmental engineering, that a whole city was destroyed by the inability of Man to combat Nature's kinetic energies?  Has it not happened, time after time, that greed has entered into the most formidable of circumstances resulting in disasterous results?

What lies before our shores would never have been there if Man had not, a mere century ago, developed the internal-combustion engine.  Had Man satisfied himself with the speed of the wind or the force of falling waters, then he would never have needed to remove that which Nature had spent millions of years hiding from him.

If only Man had left things as he found them.   The price he pays will grow each and every day, as the magnitude of the disaster attacks his home, his sustenance, and his future.  All it takes is a match, in the wrong place, at the right time, whose ignition answers the promise of that which follows the Great Flood.

Frodo wil, take each day as it comes, and will do his part to ease the suffering which he has helped to create.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:50 PM EDT
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Thursday, April 22, 2010
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh Lido
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Frodo Dissents" (6)

Frodo is not usually in the habit of accepting something as an absolute absent proof or anecdotal observation.  He doubted, for example, that the commode did indeed swirl backwards once one crosses the Equator.  Frodo learned the other day that he shared a minority opinion with a Justice of the Supreme Court, when the vote totaled 8-1.  What truly astounded him was that anyone could even allege that Frodo would agree with this character on anything.

The High Court struck down a Bush Era ban on the production of videos in which dog-fighting was exhibited as entertainment.  The appeal, which is defined as a "sexual fetish," results in graphic if not horrifying presentations of unimaginable cruelty.  Chief Justice Roberts, writing for the majority (why does that not surprise Frodo?), argued that the law went too far in restricting free speech. 

Frodo was surprised to learn that it was not Justice Sotomajor, nor Justice Ginsberg, nor even the retiring John Paul Stevens, who stated in dissent that the harm that animals suffer in dogfights was enough to sustain the law that the Court had decided to overturn.  It was Alito.

Frodo has long believed that Samuel Alito probably wears a brown shirt in his chambers, and that the music piped into the adjacent hallways is that of Wagner.  Frodo does not even like the way this Visigoth even combs his hair.  It has been Frodo's opinion that Samuel Alito, himself, fulfills the definition of obscenity, in that he has no redeeming social value.

Until now, that is.

Alito is a dog owner.  Frodo does not know anything about Alito's dog(s), but he recognizes that he/she/they are pretty lucky to have someone who cares about them so much, and is so very wise.  It is obviously a rare gift.

Frodo and Sam will be quiet for a few days, as they restrict Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, to Camp Kennel.  Sydney and Mr. Beau Neau McKitty will receive daily care-visits from Ms. Ellyn.  Frodo and Sam will walk some southern sand, and visit with people they have never met.  Frodo, for one, looks forward to transit through the town that spawned she who wrote "A Good Man is Hard to Find."  He hopes to sit at a table and listen to the crooning of Johnny Mercer creations by the one known as the Lady Chablis.  Together the Hobbits may even shuffle together, as they did, forty years ago.

If you see some barefooted Hobbits on the stoop of a country store, munching on a Moon Pie, stop and visit a spell.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:03 PM EDT
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Sunday, April 18, 2010
Waitin' For The Train That Goes Home Sweet Mary, Hopin' That The Train Is On Time
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Das Ende" (6)

Frodo has, for a number of reasons, purposefully avoided predictions herein.  Even when he was completely confident that Barack Obama would be elected President of the Newnited States, he did not put that into words.  His academic training included an appreciation for the public moods that alter with the tide, the coming of Spring, fictitious assaults on naval vessels, and political leaders sleeping in at the local Motel 6.   Supporting himself in graduate school, Frodo saw first-hand that asking direct questions, under pressure, were deeper in feeling than theoretical castings.  It is, for example, better "science" to say, the day before an election, that one is going to vote for Candidate A than it is for a tax-paying voter to say, in February, that "taxes are too high."  

The Sleaze Bag Partyers have been an uninteresting phenomena in the political off-season.  The scientific measurement of just who these adherents happen to be is just becoming evident, as their numbers and influence begin to wane.  Although the actual nadir is speculative at this point, it is clear to Frodo that the oblivion they so richly deserve is in sight.  The puny attendance at sponsored demonstrations on the date of the filing deadline for income taxes is the objective demonstration of the demise of the latest wing of the "American Independent Party" (remember them?)

George Wallace, John Anderson, Ross Perot, and even Teddy Roosevelt (the Bull Moose Party) are all among the names we can associate, dear reader, with the "silent majority" or any of the other terms that have been amalgamated with the statistical offal which has been a presence among the American electorate.  Given that the almost 20% of the present electorate that identifies themselves with the Sleaze Bags, it is not surprising that more than 90% are opposed to Barack Obama.  Two-thirds watch Faux News, 40% are retirees, almost 70% normally identify themselves as Republican, and almost half are Southerners.  As Frodo has said before, we're talking about fat white guys who are facing life's end with little or no accomplishments.  That, in Frodo's opinion, is why you see so many in military-type-garb, because they never did anything else.

The Sleaze Bag Party is a production of Dick Armey, a fat white guy with no accomplishments himself, building on the Jim DeMint (also white, but dumber than he is fat) assertion that Barack Obama would face "Waterloo", assuming there was an Army to confront him.  The drafting of the "American Independent Party" into the Republican ranks was merely a media-applied effort to aver that the latest national election was uncharacteristic of the national mood.  In the verbiage of the Incomparable Moron, it was the "stragedy" of the Republicants to counter the populism of an enlightened leader.

Frodo counsels good friends to expect setbacks in the off-year elections.  It is the prevailing pattern, and it will happen, although Frodo feels strongly that Charlie Crawford and others are far from accurate in their prognostications. 

All of what Frodo has to say in this diatribe is based on the assumption that the Iranians do not have any ships in the Gulf of Tonkin.  Do not expect Frodo to offer additional instances of prediction within the next 940 postings.  He did so in this instance simply because Sam has been driving him crazy moaning about how bad things might become. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:38 PM EDT
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Shoot 'Em Down, Turn Around
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "Evenin' Govnah" (6)

When Frodo was among the smallest of Hobbits, his father built him a go-kart.  It had a 5 HP engine, oversized tires, and the only thing that kept it from flying was an absence of wings.  That realization caused Frodo's father to surreptitiously add a "governor" which resulted in a severe drop in the necessary speed of 7 miles per second in order to achieve earth orbit  Frodo finally figured out what had taken place without his knowledge, and has been resentful of anything reminding him of the mechanical device which ended his fun (albeit probably allowing him to achieve his twelfth birthday).

The Governor of the State of Georgia is a politician who would sell his wife into slavery in order to get votes on election day.  The complete absence of competence in his Administration defiles the ideals of self-government.  What bothers Frodo is that this nincompoop is merely the tip of the iceberg.  Let's take a seccond to survey the landscape of those who wear the mantel of "Governor" in our great land.

Rick Perry talks about secession.  Although Frodo would support the disappearance of the plague that is Texas, he finds it hard to believe that those who have served our nation in battle would feel that their sacrifices had been justified when their home state suddenly announces that it is no longer part of the US of A.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has compiled a budget deficit so enormous that Californians actually look, longingly, back at Gray Davis (that was his name, wasn't it?).

Whoever happens to be Governor of New York, and pardon Frodo for being a tad confused, is in bed with somebody else's wife as we speak (anybody want to bet against that statement given Spitzer and Patterson?).

South Carolina.  Enough said.

Virginia, however, "the Mother of Presidents" and "Virginia is for Lovers" notwithstanding, has reached the apogee of gubernatorial stupidity in rocket record time.  After assaulting the employment rights of those who happen to be gay or homosexual and suffer as employees of the Old Dominion, Bob McDonnell of the wind-dried tonsorial perfection, has entered the land of those who were against it before they were for it.  After declaring that "Confederate History" required a level of support equivalent to "Black History," but that neither required reference to the other, the "Governor" also decided, or seemed to be deciding, that those released from prison should submit an "essay" before winning back the right to vote.

Somehow, that struck some as somewhat similar to a "literacy test."  When this oversight was noted by the press, McDonnell announced that the "policy" had not yet been implemented, and was still deep in the incubation process.  Then the letters started arriving at the last-known-addresses of the thousands of former felons.

Frodo has pre-drafted his own essay.  Let's just say that "where the Sun don't shine" is a descriptive phrase that merits specific inclusion. 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:33 PM EDT
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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
How Can You Stop The Rain From Falling Down?
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)

Frodo has a pretty severe number of backlogs on his agenda.  Work, from work carries over into the amount of time available for something just a tad more creative, like words assembled and catalogued into phrases and clauses.  Work, from the simultaneous bloom of everything from dogwood to azalea, and back again, carries over into the starting time for the gallant Braves and their sojourn to the earthquake prone regions of the Pacific coastline.  Work, from the needs and wants of Bilbo, who turns 92 this Saturday, just two days after the anniversary of the death of Frodo's father, presents an emotional challenge which oft finds Frodo displeased with his own self.  Work, from apparently cavalier assignments assisting the able Samwise, keeps Frodo from his favorite analyses of the day's events, in print or via satellite.

But there is one piece of pretty neat news which has caught the eye of the Hobbits.  The BRISTOL HERALD-COURIER, printed in Bristol Virginia/Tennessee (pick one, since the damn town sits right on the line between the states), has been awarded a Pulitzer Prize.  That represents one-half of the Pulitzers won this year by the NEW YORK TIMES, and one-fourth of those garnered by the WASHINGTON POST.  This little newspaper has a staff of seven people.  One of those seven, a Mr. Daniel Gilbert, performed a computer analysis that tracked the scandalous flow of tens of millions of dollars in gas royalties away from the people who populate one of the poorest regions in Virginia (this is, after all, coal country).

Put that in your FACEBOOK and TWEETER.  Frodo, much to his chagrin, will have to go on-line to track the full story, when he would prefer to thumb through the pages and contemplate the presence of ink on his fingers.

That's where ink belongs, doesn't it friend Merry? (For those unaware, friend Merry shared in a similar award when employed by the JACKSON CLARION-LEDGER).

These tidbits of information were made available this evening by the presence of an "off-day" in the Major League Schedule.  Frodo returns his attention to San Diego on the morrow.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:03 PM EDT
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Saturday, April 10, 2010
You Get Enough Germs To Catch Pneumonia
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "You Betcha" (6)

"Next in line, please."

"Yes, I'd like to purchase a ticket, if you please."

"Welcome to the Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans and Red Neck Airlines.  I am your ticket agent Frodo Baggins, and I'll be glad to help you.  What is your destination?"



"No, Russia."

"Will you be traveling alone?"

"No, the ticket is for my daughter."

"I see, and what are the desired departure and return dates?"

"Actually, it is just a one-way ticket, no return, and to leave on the first available flight."

"Okay, and will your daughter require any special services either here or in Moscow?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, is she a minor, and will anyone be meeting her in Moscow?"

"She is a minor, and she does have special needs?"

"Madam, are you suggesting that this is a special needs child, traveling alone from New Orleans to Moscow?  I'm afraid we can't assume that level of responsibility absent the presence of an adult?"

"Well. what about Torrey Hanson?"


"The mother who returned her adopted child to an orphanage in Russia."

"M'am, common sense would dictate that a special needs child requires constant parental care.  Just because some other airline allowed the transport of an unattended child does not infer that your request is even worthy of consideration."

"Well, I can arrange for her father to meet her at the airport in Moscow."

"I still don't think it is something we could do."

"Her father is Vladimir Putin."

"THE Vladimir Putin?"

"Yes, we met while I was looking at Russia from my house in Alaska."

"I say, you do look familiar."

"Well, let me ask, would you sell me a ticket for an adult traveling alone, who had special needs?"

"Yes M'am, I think we could arrange that with proper instructions and preparation."

"Great.  Book me a one-way ticket for one, on the earliest flight."

"Okay, and what is the traveler's name?"


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:05 AM EDT
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Sunday, April 4, 2010
We Had Joy, We Had Fun, We Had Seasons In The Sun
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Spelling, -23" (6)

The Major League Baseball Season opens (in Atlanta) on Monday; the College Basketball Season ends (everywhere) that evening.  Beside the fact that this convenient overlap means that Frodo can continue his string of never having watched a single reality TV show episode (which he fully intends to continue ad infinitum), the glorious weather nationwide (except in the State of Washington where it is presently snowing) signals a boundless hope for the future in the mind of the Hobbit. 

The Hobbit has been in a state of euphoria ever since he caught sight of a poster held aloft in front of a TV camera just before the beginning of last night's semi-final NCAA match-up between Duke and West Virginia.  It should be noted that a Duke player named Scheyer scored 23 points to lead perennial powerhouse Duke into the final game on Monday, against Butler University (see "Hoosiers" starring Gene Hackman).  The poster read:  "HOBBITS LOVE THEIR SCHEYER."

Indeed they do.

There is hope for all of those with a sense of humor, and heads large enough to hold their dreams.

Duke by 15.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:28 AM EDT
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