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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Friday, July 27, 2012
So I Have To Say I Love You In a Song
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Quittin' Time" (8)

At 6:15 this morning there was no sound of toenails on the floor.  In truth, for the first time in 38 years there was no canine presence to waken Frodo and begin him on his way.  So Frodo took a cup of coffee with him and paid a visit to Mick, the Wonder Dog.

At 5:00 o'clock PM yesterday, the magnificent heart finally stopped beating and the silence was deafening.  There was no discomfort, not a whimper, just the cessation of respiration to go with the reflective eyes and the sheer bulk of a lifeless body.  It was a moment that Frodo knew was imminent.

A cureless disease had spread its tentacles into the cognitive and control systems, causing imbalance and insecurity in the noble friend of Frodo.  Still, he struggled on to meet each and every assignment and requirement of life in the Shire.  He was meticulous, and the fact that an accident would occur even under these circumstances was abhorrent to him.  What troubled him was that there was no other to whom he could transfer responsibility for the care and protection of the Hobbits, except for a cat and a bird, but that was not the same and he knew it.

Frodo spoke to his friend this morning and assured him that there will be another, but Sam will need some time.  It was with Sam that he would sit upright in the rear seat of the old station wagon and cast his noble head into the cool wind that launched his ears like gossamer wings.  Frodo's search will commence immediately, apparently with great care for the legacy that will be preserved, intact.  Frodo then turned to other graves, and told them that Mick, the Wonder Dog, was now there to join in their games.  Frodo, he assured them, will someday follow.

This day will be spent arranging and beautifying that priceless ground.  It will always reflect upon the good hearts that there lay.  That, notes Frodo, is all that he can do to treat a broken heart.  That, and to hold Sam closely and mix their tears together.

Adieu little brother.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:57 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, July 27, 2012 9:11 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 21, 2012
Little Things I Should Have Said And Done
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Aurora Borealis" (8)

Since the assassinations of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King, more than one million fatalities in America list "gunfire" as the cause of death.  There is no distinction in these numbers for "self-inflicted," or for any other specific causal relationship.  There is no definition between "accidental" or "intentional."  There is merely a fact, and numbers still do not lie.

Fort Hood, Virginia Tech, Columbine, are no longer places, they are events.  So too, now, is Aurora.  How brutally sad that a crowning ring of light from Heaven will always present an indescribable glory only after it is first identified as a place of cruelty and pain. 

Frodo will watch no more.  The Ring is too strong.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:29 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 17, 2012
I've Been Through The Desert On a Horse With No Name
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "Act I, Scene III" (8)

Frodo has always believed that the old adage about someone for everyone is really something more akin to there is at least one.  The Hobbit was proven prophetic when the second husband turned out to be a truly good guy.  He was different, for sure, but his caustic sense of humor and his patience with the quarreling magpies made every visit a pleasure.  A bit of lagniappe was added to the mixture when the decision was made that the newlyweds would relocate to the sunny climes with the result being that the sisters now lived but a few blocks from one another.  Frodo often whistled "There will be peace in the valley. . ." as he contemplated the best of all worlds.

"Familiarity breeds contempt," became the mantra however, as the sisters struggled over the most trivial of issues.  Eventually, the dialogue even encompassed the perception of thievery or some other twisted argument.  It was the steady hand of the second husband that kept incidents of "bitch slap" from occuring.  On more than one occasion he was able to separate the antagonists and to return civility to the less than happy valley.  He also brought sanity to the legalities involving his new wife's finances.  Applying good judgment was his contribution, and soon there was no doubt that his new wife would always have necessary resources to meet all need.  Unfortunately, such was not the case a few blocks away, and resentment reached a new pinnacle.

When the mantel fell to Frodo, he arranged for professional assistance.  It was forecast that 18 years would pass before resources would be expended, leaving Frodo then with a deeper problem.  Subsequently, the down-sizing of her residence and the seeming miracle of the fishes and loaves added to the stash, and concern was replaced by normality, or so it seemed.

The new husband died.  Now there was no buffer, and the sisters eventually clashed again, and again, as vultures began to circle.  Frodo was a presence on one hand, but on the other, there were those who saw a great opportunity.  That opportunity would be enhanced by the loss of their brother.  It was as if the presence of the "Black Death" was the only consistency in their lives.  In truth, it was a wolf in the clothing of sheep. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:02 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 14, 2012
Please Come to Boston For The Springtime
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)

"When your opponent is goin' down for the third time, don't make the mistake Democrats usually make and throw him a life preserver.  Throw him an anvil."  --  James Carville

In 2002, Willard Mitt Romney personally signed five documents, each of which identified him as the Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer, President, and Principal Investor in separate entities of Bain Capital.  The documents each specified that he was to receive at least $100,000 in non-investment income (which is 'salary') annually from Bain Capital.  The documents, as required by law, were filed with the Securities & Exchange Commission (SEC) and are available as a matter of public record.

Last evening, Willard Mitt Romney appeared on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and CNN and stated that he was not involved in any management or investment role with Bain Capital after his resignation in February of 1999.

When queried, Romney further indicated that he would not provide additional copies of his Federal Income Tax Returns beyond or prior to the years 2010 (previously made public) and 2011 (still in preparation) for public inspection.  This, despite the fact that his father, George W. Romney, had submitted 12 years of his own Federal Income Tax Returns when seeking the Republican nomination for the Presidency.  George Romney said at the time that to provide only a year or two of information could be a "fluke" and not be reflective of the substance.  Additionally, Senator John McCain, when seeking the Presidency in 2008, made 23 years of his Federal Income Tax Returns available for public inspection.  

Throughout his campaign for the Presidency, Willard Mitt Romney has argued, consistently, that he is better prepared to handle economic issues than his opponent, President Barack Hussein Obama, because of his experience in the "private sector" at Bain Capital.  In response to allegations that he was not only personally "sheltering income in foreign bank accounts" but the "out sourcing" of jobs from American companies serviced by Bain Capital, Romney has steadfastly insisted that he was not responsible for any such activity or result after his departure from Bain Capital in February of 1999.  This, despite his sworn written statements to the SEC identifying specific titular responsibilities with Bain Capital more than three years later.

It would reach into speculation, at this point in time, to proffer Romney's reasoning for his reluctance to provide complete Federal Income Tax Return information commencing with the year 1999.  Frodo will leave such speculation to others.  Let him add however that it will take something beyond the magnitude of Barack Obama being photographed in the nude with Jerry Sandusky to put Willard Mitt Romney in the White House given the cries of the rat drowning before our very eyes.  



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:34 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 7, 2012
Meet Me on South Street
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: "Greetings" (8)


Such was the salutation that headed the most dreaded, if not the most numerous, pieces of mail delivered during the twentieth century.  For the most part, these letters directed an individual to report for military service.  The commonly held assertion during the first part of the century was that the message therein was "polite, but firm."  During the latter half of the century the correspondence emanating from a local Draft Board created such a firestorm that it was eventually eliminated.

At the College of the Shire things were as they were throughout Middle Earth.  Frodo and his friends came to believe that the War fought in Southeast Asia was not only a mistake in and of itself, but they grew increasingly aware of the fact that they were being called to fight on the wrong side.  Coming to such a conclusion was both painful and divisive.  It was during such a time that the following actually occurred.

He was a Republicant, and he refused to accept the fact that the US of A could ever make a mistake, do something illegal, or even act imprudently. " After all," he was fond of saying, "my Father serves on the local Draft Board back home, and he told me that they only call true, patriotic Americans to serve their country.  Therefore," he added, "when my time comes, I will go willingly."  Even at the College of the Shire, the commonly-expressed response to that diatribe was "Bullshit."

To prove a point, a cabal was born over copious amounts of 3.2% beer on a cold winters night.  One of the co-conspirators had access to sheets of paper with semi-official looking headings of all kind.  Little effort was required in the fashioning of a command to appear for a Pre-Draft Physical Examination.  The heading "Greetings" was the first word entered to the body of the letter.   According to the letter, the individual was directed to report to a specific address in his home county, at a certain time and date, in order to establish his physical capacity to serve.

Since the event was something every male over the age of 18 was required to experience, it did not strike the victim as too, too unusual that he was to report to the US Post Office near his permanent address in Bluefield, West Virginia, at 5:30 AM on the 17th of February, even though that particular day happened to be a Sunday.  The letter further explained that the enclosed pre-paid ($17.50) Greyhound Bus Ticket from the terminal serving the College of the Shire to Bluefield would be matched by a return ticket to the College of the Shire and given to him upon completion of the Physical Examination.  Furthermore he was warned not to eat or drink anything that morning, and that a box lunch would be provided to him prior to his departure from the location of the Physical Examination en route to the Bus Terminal in Bluefield upon completion of said examination.

The ticket was for a departure at 3:00 AM.  The cost of the ticket, unknown to the addressee, involved contributions from 35 male classmates at the College of the Shire.  The letter was postmarked from Bluefield and dated less than a week after one of the co-conspirators had gone home to Bluefield for the weekend.

It was later learned that the four inches of snow that fell during the night was matched by temperatures well below Fahrenheit defined freezing levels for water.  It was unsurprising also that every commercial or governmental establishment was closed until after the Noon Hour services of the multitudinous number of churches in that faithful community.  The first bus, by the way, scheduled to depart for the terminal serving the College of the Shire would depart at 3:00 PM.  There was no return ticket or reservation listed (the military term for such an occurrence is SNAFU) on behalf of the subject of the cabal.  The box lunch was obviously also misplaced.

The assumption existed for many years that said subject did not call his parents in order to come and get him because of a demonstrated level of pride extending beyond good judgment.  It is also known that he never mentioned what took place on that day, even to those whom he had informed ahead of time about his planned Physical Exam.   Frodo is sure they must have questioned him when he was actually called for a "more official" Physical Exam less than three weeks later.

Frodo was reminded of these events when he recently learned that the subject therein now lives in Texas.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:50 PM EDT
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Friday, June 29, 2012
Hello Darling, It's Been a Long Time
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Mister Roberts" (8)

Every time that Frodo has ever made a semi-informed prognostication he has found himself with crow feathers between his teeth.  For that reason he once again has stood on the sidelines while events seemingly pass by him.  He has not remarked upon the passing of Nora Ephron, because he truly loved the movie "Michael," and he wanted everybody else to spend time with Harry & Sally, Insomnia in Seattle, and her ex-husband. 

Michael gave up his last moments on Earth because of Sparky.  Frodo chokes up, even now.

Frodo made the emotional error of placing John Roberts in the same chair as the infamous Tanney.  Frodo fell victim, again, to the influence of the Ring, when he equated that toot to the apparent partisanship of the Chief Justice.  With all pretense of understanding the motivations of Roberts thus cast aside, Frodo assumed that the worst would happen.  Frodo does not know why things developed as they actually did, but he is pleased that such is so.

As the sailors wrote in their final correspondence to Henry Fonda who was playing the beloved Doug Roberts, "Thanks Mr. Roberts."

Frodo apologizes for his broken promise.  Justice Roberts deserves more.  Frodo will do better, and wait a little longer in the future before engaging oral musculature.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:16 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 24, 2012
I Think I Got Something to Say to You
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Act I, Scene II" (8)

The Diaspora after the Great War sent the sisters in different directions.  When her husband returned, the married sister set up house in the small town where they first had met.  That nest lasted until two offspring arrived, necessitating a move to a bigger community, bettter educational opportunities, and a life of their own.  The other sister had been working with wounded returnees when she met one nearly as carefree as she, and the whirlwind carried them to his parents and home halfway across Middle America.  Although children would not be a part of their equation, the absence suited their lifestyle well and they bore the reputation of two who knew how to have a good time.

The siblings who stayed behind produced about 10 more additions to the human landscape in postwar America.  These dozen players in the generation that followed the Greatest would eventually begin to realize that there was a potential treasure at the end of that rainbow in Middle America.  Those two did not have to "save for college," or spend every dime to support another set of more demanding nestlings.  In truth, when their end would arrive, there were none designated to receive the gold buried in that backyard.  The competition for a favored position seemed obvious, but no one stepped forward, for different reasons.

Each year, the Middle Americans would return to the homeland.  Not unlike the description in the PBS series "The Appalachians," there was a pronounced need for these people to return together from their new homes to that which they had always known.  The protagonists in our tale were no different, and the first real competition sprang up when the itinerary was annually determined for the trip "back home."  Those who resided nearest the farm got the benefit of access the most, simply because there was "more to do" there, and visits to old friends were easily organized.

It was about this time that Frodo recognized the rancor of jealousy from the sister who had been a roommate.  Resentment at the lack of time visiting at "her house" to the "long drive" to the farm were an increasingly apparent aspect to the commentary.  The sibling offspring in this part of the family soon adopted that as their prevailing opinions.  They split however, on exactly how much it bothered them.  One was growing disinterested in anything to do with "visiting relatives," when there was so much more to do in the big city.  The other seemed drawn closer and closer to the aunt and uncle who doted on her when no one else seemed interested.

Perfect lives do not last forever, and wounds tear open.  Such was the case when the shrapnel moved and the failure to follow medical counsel ended the days of another soldier.  Everyone else tried to make decisions for she who buried her friend and companion.  Resentment and surprise caught all of those who felt that she should now return home, so that they could "take care of her."  It was her decision to stay in the home that they had made, amid the friends with whom they had lived life to its fullest.  Frodo could not help but notice the increasing resentment in his home.  

Imagine the shock when, after a reasonable period of time, it was announced that there was another, and that a new partnership was being created.

Act I, Scene III to follow. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:18 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 21, 2012
Be-Bop Baby, She's The Gal For Me
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Act I, Scene I" (8)

In the months to come, Frodo is doing something a bit different.  Along with his continuing commitment to the vignette, he is adding a serial perspective.  The story therein is a mixture of truth and hypothesis, for the accusation is a serious one and the crime cannot be proven, given all that we now know.  Frodo will intersperse the serial in truly eclectic fashion with his perspectives which have truly caught the English-speaking imagination, or so Frodo himself imagines.  The next scene of the serial may follow immediately upon the end of its predecessor, or it may tumble into view days thereafter.  Serials will always be identified as a scene from an act upon the stage of life, and death.

The story is about murder.  Frodo lost someone near and dear whose death was hastened by greed.  The story, for want of a better placement, truly begins in the times before the Great Depression.  We all know that childhood is always difficult, but when there was not enough food, nor time for parental affection, siblings relied on one another in a manner too extreme for most of us today to fathom.  Not for many years did Frodo come to understand that the six siblings who would become known to him experienced deep personal resentments despite the apparency that suffering together would seemingly bring them closer over time.  

One of the six died in the Great War.  One other brother died freakishly during Frodo's tenth year, leaving one brother, and three sisters behind.  The remaining brother may never have learned to read or write.  One of the sisters accepted a life on the farm, much like that which she had known throughout her childhood.  The two remaining sisters were determined to go beyond, and they relied heavily on one another in search of youthful opportunities. The crux of our mystery, and the apparent crime, is documented as follows.

The boy rode a motorcycle, and he had taken notice of the first sister without having any knowledge of the one who would sooner become his wife.  The first sister thought he was a "nice guy," but surely not "her type."  She had a good feeling about the introduction of the boy on a motorcycle to her sister, and he seemed to rev up to the idea.  The Great War intervened, but they married when he was called to duty, and she waited at the stateside base for nearly three years.  In the meantime, sister number one prowled the field of available single, or temporarily unattached, boys home on leave, and looking for a "good time."  Frodo always felt that she did her part to serve the troops.

Act I, Scene II to follow. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 17, 2012
Was in The Spring, Then Spring Became a Summer
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Lost Weekend"(8)

Our topic today, dear reader, emanates from the title of an old movie, that dealt with alcoholism as a public issue in the way that we once dealt with all public issues.  We made a movie.  We no longer make movies, instead we make cartoons.  Cartoons about alcoholism would probably not be taken too seriously, so that means that we have to deal with our less pleasant issues from an entirely new visage.

Frodo watched as the gallant Braves were shut out for both of the baseball games played with the Orioles from Baltimore.  The Braves are never shut out two games in a row.  Perhaps such an uncommon occurrence is what started this downward spiral on the weekend now past?  Frodo is fearful of such thought since it makes him sound a bit like the late and oft-lamented Andy Rooney.

Frodo has previously written of his admiration for all things Grecian, so it is unsurprising that the continual clatter leading up to their most recent election held him spellbound.  Since Frodo leans heavily to the left, it was very uncharacteristic for him to root for the right-wingers in this instance.  Stability in the financial markets, reflecting well upon the efforts of the current American administration however, add significantly to the likelihood of victory before the Dark Gate.

On the other hand, we watch with sheer disdain over the pending transmittals from those who now sit where once those who returned Dred Scott to slavery once sat.  With an expectation of equal stupidity, Frodo anticipates the Affordable Care Act to drip through the fingers of justice as if it were but one more hanging chad, or another "Super Pac" filling Romney's mind with visions of sugar plums.  This is the worst Court, ever.

The Shire has also been invaded by dueling riding lawn mowers on either side of Frodo's residence therein.  Appropriate it is, he supposes, that these monstrosities should appear within minutes of each other on this the fortieth anniversary of the movie that introduced "Dueling Banjos" to all the world.

Likely it is that this is merely a cyclical presentation of Frodo's opening thought, i.e. movies have been replaced by cartoons, since a great movie like "Deliverance" (which that same year lost "Best Picture" to "The Godfather") is compared to two overweight, middle-aged men, on riding lawnmowers.  It certainly gives a more vibrant reference to the dialogue therein, reference Ned Beatty and "Squeal like a pig."

Frodo may not be Andy Rooney, but there are times when he feels like Twain.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:51 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 10, 2012
All My Ex's Live In Texas
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Marvelous Mac"(8)

During their very first year of operation, Marv Throneberry was the regular first baseman for the New York Mets of MLB.  As only the NYC Press can do, Throneberry, who was prone to an error-filled performance throughout his career, became a crowd favorite because of his miscues.  As the anti-hero, who never stopped trying to be good, he became famous as "Marvelous Marv."  He also had a brother in MLB, Faye, Throneberry, of course.

In June of 1944, a young American fighter pilot was shot down and killed near the small town of Las Ventes, in France.  His widow, in Oklahoma, received the obligatory letter from the appropriate sources, informing her of his death, and the promise of additional information.  That promise, unfortunately, was not kept.

As late as 2005, the widow, who never re-married, communicated with her Congressperson, Rep. Mac Thornberry (R-TX), seeking any additional information about the demise of her husband.  The obviously distraught Congressperson communicated by letter and informed the widow that there was no new data regarding the status of her MIA.  A relative of the widow found that hard to believe, and picked up the telephone.

It took merely a few days to learn that the young pilot lies buried in the American Cemetery in Normandy, and that he has been there for years, after his body was transferred from its original burial site in Las Ventes.  It was also learned that the town square in Las Ventes is named for the young hero, who died to help save the town of Las Ventes, France, and the whole damn world for that matter.  In Las Ventes, there is a wreath-laying ceremony, every year, going back to the very end of the War, for this young man, the husband of our heroine.  She has, at the invitation of the village, visited, and was escorted to both his present burial site as well as the very spot where her late husband crashed.

Congressperson Thornberry has written a letter of apology.  He and his office have refused to make any public statement, and there has been no further communication with the widow.  Congressperson Thornberry, Frodo adds, chairs the House ARMED SERVICES COMMITTEE.  The widow has stated that she has forgiven Congressperson Thornberry.

Frodo has taken great libertyin the past with his disapproval of all things Texan.  It should go without saying that there is a sense of outrage which Frodo truly hopes becomes evident to Congressperson Thornberry.  It is the incompetence in acts such as this which unite Americans in their dismay toward the Congress of the United States.  Frodo, admittedly, is not nearly as gracious as the heroine herein, but he would be satisfied if there is at least one Texan who votes in the upcoming election against "Marvelous Mac" for the single reason that he didn't even try to do a good job.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:12 PM EDT
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