Mood: don't ask
Topic: "Change?" (3)
"Reverend Governor Mister Huckabee, a question if I may?"
"Uh-oh. Is that who I think it is?"
"Yes Reverend Governor Mister, it is I, Frodo, Star Reporter of the SHIRE TIMES & CHRONICLE."
"Aren't you the one that made toast of my friend Fred Thompson at one of these news briefings?"
"Reverend Governor Mister, as the saying goes about the heat in the kitchen, . . ."
"I understand. I assume you have a question for me?"
"Yes Reverend Governor Mister, during the days leading up to the Florida Primary you stated that something specific should be done to expand the local economy. Can you recall that from your memory bank and perhaps apply that to the larger national economy. I can't seem to find where you've repeated that suggestion since. You know, it had to do with I-95?"
"Uh, well, yes. I made the point that because of all the natural disasters striking Florida that housing values were dropping, and that insurance problems, and infrastructure needs meant that insufficient resources had been devoted to those concerns. The result being that traffic delays were increased, thereby even further hurting local businesses."
"Oh yeah, thanks, that was it. So what is it that you proposed to do?"
"The best way to reduce traffic is to create more access for automobiles, thereby lessening the concentration of traffic. Does that answer your question?"
"No Reverend Governor Mister Huckabee, I believe you specifically suggested that Interstate 95 be widened by two lanes, and that the result would be less traffic backlog, and a concomitant increase in business in the local economy. Can you tell us how widening of I-95 would help the local economy? Are you suggesting that we could help the national economy if we widened I-95 by say, 10 lanes?"
"Well, we do have some other people here who would like to ask questions. . ."
"What would be gained by widening the damn road?"
"I think, if we remain calm, we would like to study the suggestion to see if it would reduce traffic congestion and make driving into downtown Miami more palatable for shoppers."
"Tell me Reverend Governor Mister, do you still eat squirrel?"
"I believe that hunting is a constitutionally protected right under the Second Amendment. . ."
"I read too, Reverend Governor Mister, but you are the one who told the story of how you used to heat-and-eat squirrel in a popcorn popper during your college days. What I asked is if you still eat squirrel? If so, how do you fix them? Do you boil them, or do you prefer fried?"
"Squirrel has been a staple in Arkansas going back to pioneer days, and many of our States' residents consume these tasty. . ."
"I believe squirrels are so classified. . ."
"Are you now changing subjects on me?"
"Reverend Governor Mister, I could do this all day. Or are you ready to break for lunch? I'm wondering if all this discussion about food has made you hungry?"
"An excellent suggestion Mr. Frodo."
"Until the next time."
Reverend Governor Mister Huckabee tugged at his shorts as he walked off the stage, and he whispered to Chuck Norris, who glared at Frodo. Frodo smiled and held up his copy of "Elmer Gantry."
"Do you think you could get him to autograph this for me, Chuckles?"