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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
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"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
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"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
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"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
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"Unademdaze" (4)
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"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Monday, February 18, 2008
On Wisconsin, Fight On Through That Line
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Frodo's Dilemma" (3)

Gandalf long ago counseled Frodo to learn the ways of the lands outside the Shire.  Gandalf knew that Frodo would need to rely on what he knew when the time came to enter Mordor, and to scale Mount Doom.  Frodo has written of his voyage into East Germany, and the unforgettable bus trip up "the Berlin corridor."  The tale this evening is of the trip back, and how Frodo first tried to apply what he had learned about the peoples of Gondor, Rohan, and Cirith Ungol.

The sun had set and all the travellers were weary.  The clubs and the taverns of West Berlin had both refreshed and spent the energy of the Americans.  The tours and the propaganda on the other side of "Checkpoint Charlie" had sullied the festive mood, and most were contemplating the mental anguish of a first approach to Evil.  Frodo, not yet known to Samwise, nuzzled with one of his fellow vagabonds.  The Germans, who occupied most of the bus, were gathered in the rear and were treating the drive as if it were merely the culmination of a brief vacation.  Soon, they began to sing.

German drinking songs draw participants easily, and the Americans, including the Hobbit, joined in when they knew the proper words.  The festive air drew the dissonance from all, and anon the memory of the Evil fell further and further behind.  When at last a pause fell upon the throng, one of the Germans called out, "How about some American drinking songs?"

Frodo and his nuzzling companion looked at each other, and soon all of the Americans shared an equally blank stare.  What to do, "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall?"  All came to the conclusion that there are no American drinking songs, and for the briefest of moments, all were equally distraught.  Suggestions came forth from every angle.  "Dixie."  "Hound Dog."  "My Girl (Frodo thought that suggestion might get him past first base)." "Rock of Ages." (?)  It was apparent that the diversity of the Americans meant that no one knew the same songs, and that our silence reflected poorly on our national character.  To be humiliated, by Germans, was too much to bear.

He was from the Midwest someplace, and when he stood up and shared his basso profundo of "On Wisconsin," all of the Americans could at least join in the chorus.  The little guy from "Little Italy" then commenced with "Hail, hail, to old Notre Dame."  Frodo started, in typical off-key, "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech," and then the Germans caught on and joined in with the best phonetical version that "Fighting Bob LaFollete" would have ever heard of the Wisconsin fight song when the Americans commenced a second go-round of the songs drawing the greatest applause.  By the time that the lights of the bus station were at hand, the travellers had shared all that they could, and had unanimously had great fun crossing a cultural border.

Frodo has always wondered if the Germans sang any American songs to serenade their more recent travelling companions.  Many times has he brought smiles to Sam and others of the Fellowship when he sings "In Munchen steht ein Hofbrau Haus. . ."  Imagine a group of Frenchmen trying to follow "Boomer Sooner," in German.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:50 PM EST
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Sunday, February 17, 2008
I Wanna Sleep With You in The Desert Tonight
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Bathroom onna Right"(3)

Frodo was fascinated to learn, some time ago, that hurricanes begin with the proper placement of something as discreet as a single grain of sand, about which air begins to flow.  Faster and faster, that which had been brought up from the Saharan surface becomes the vortex which accumulates moisture and sufficient winds to virtually destroy human habitation half-a-world-away.  Fascination turns to anxiety however, when Frodo learns that NASA satellites prove that great billowing clouds of dust carry harmful minerals, industrial pollutants, bacteria, fungi, and viruses in their wake.  The result being that these dust clouds are possible culprits in the transcontinental movement of disease.

Meningitis, Silicosis, Influenza, SARS, Hoof-and-Mouth Disease, and Asthma were thought to die when exposed to ultraviolet radiation and extreme temperatures on these long flights, but the fact that African locusts have survived the journey disproves that assumption.  Dale Griffith, a former microbiologist with the US Geological Survey said recently that ". . .nothing will change regarding either African or Asian dust until we have a catastrophe such as a large-scale avian flu, West Nile virus, or some other deadly outbreak that cannot be explained away by the usual suspects."  Griffith goes on to complain that absolutely no one, anywhere, is doing anything at all about it.

The impact of Man on his Planet, and the impact of the Planet on Man, is evolutionary.  It changes, that we know, and on that we can all agree, thinks Frodo.  The changes that occur are the stuff of science, and compose everything from temperatures to rainfall, and from the utility of the internal combustion engine to the ability of some locations to support human existence.  It is much, much more than the simplistic concern over "global warming," or the utilitarian complaint that no such proof exists of such an occurrence.  Science will provide the answers if Man has the wherewithal to support an academic assault on the problems before us all, Man and Hobbit.

An International Geophysical Year (IGY) is a worthwhile suggestion to emanate from, for example, one of the candidates for President of the United States.  A concentrated effort by all the world to marshal its scientific capacity in developing an energy resource to replace fossil fuels.  An intense investigation of communicable disease, source and transmission, in every corner of our globe.  A coordinated analysis of the forces, natural and artificial, over which intelligent life has some measure of control, and the means to confront.  Committing resources, worldwide, and not singling out political goals, is the framework that prevents a Kyoto-style logjam.  The last time that an International Geophysical Year was applied, the result included putting weather satellites into orbit, thereby giving Man the capacity to see the dust in the wind.

This time, an International Geophysical Year may help him to prevent becoming just that.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:58 PM EST
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Saturday, February 16, 2008
I Want You To Tell Me What You Intend To Do Now
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Why are you here"?(3)

Whether in the course of human or natural events, Frodo is humbled by the balance.  Some men are born to be warriors, while others are farmers.  Still other men know not the difference between a pitchfork and a bayonet.  In the Gardens of the Shire there are hawks and there are songbirds; there are earthworms, and there are moles.  Indeed, there are things which grow and blossom whose very names may not yet be known to those who are supposed to know.  They are however, there for a reason.


There is absolutely no reason on the face of this small blue planet for the yellow pine tree to exist.  Its soft wood produces an inferior cut of lumber, and its sap is so poor in quality that even the turpentine produced by the black pine is unworthy of processing in this lamentable botanic creation.  In fact, it is the yellow pine which most frequently splits and falls during inclement weather, doing damage to traffic and to homestead.  Mulch (the cheapest one can buy) and pressed lumber are the only by-products of this denizen of the forest which have any commercial value, and, in truth, no one would miss these products if they weren't there at all.  Frodo is down to but four of these monstrosities within the confines of the Shire, and they are in no location to portend a threat to anything held dear.

Yellow pines make Frodo think about other things he can do without.  Yellow Jackets, the yellow-and-black bee-like insect that tunnel in the Gardens of the Shire, and almost any other inconvenient location in Middle Earth, is a constant threat to man and beast.  When disturbed, the swarm is swift, painful, and occasionally deadly.  Frodo is no fan of the Yellow Jacket, and he has absolutely no idea what it is that Adam must have done to piss God off so badly that he made these disgusting and valueless creatures.

Which brings Frodo around to "Evangelicals."  Frodo was born one time, and according to Bilbo's frequent discourse on the subject, that one time was more than enough.  Concerned parents and a developing curiosity brought Frodo to a confrontation with many questions of value, and the accumulation of information, and perhaps even a bit of wisdom, as God intended, created the Hobbit.  So why would Frodo need to be, in the parlance, "born again?"  There is no new epiphany if Frodo has merely paid attention along the way, so what, he asks, would Frodo have in common with someone who felt as if he, or she, had to start all over again in some sort of more personal relationship with the Supreme?  This is a question which does not keep Frodo up at night.  It merely makes him wish that wonks of this nature would follow the Yellow Jacket back into the hole of ignominy.

The stream of consciousness now brings us back to something almost as worthless as a Yellow Pine.  That, for the new reader, would be any person, living or dead, who claims to be a Texan.  It includes anyone with a bumper sticker that reads "Don't Mess With Texas."  In Frodo's humble opinion, had the United States merely lost the War with Mexico more than 165 years ago, we would today have a perfect nation.  Every problem in America today can be traced back to some sort of screw-up by somebody from Texas.  Funny it is, that no Texan is useful for any purpose other than mulch or pressed lumber.  Then again, those are still products for which we have no true need. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:50 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, February 16, 2008 3:56 PM EST
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Thursday, February 14, 2008
Still Crazy After All These Years
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)

Antonin Scalia, 71, is brain dead.

In an interview with BBC Radio 4 this week, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia declared that the Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment "is referring to punishment for crime," not actions in the course of interrogation.  In an astounding application of purported logic, Scalia added that "you can't come in smugly and with great self-satisfaction say 'Oh, it's torture, and therefore it's no good.'  You would not apply that in some real-life situations."  The implication followed that given the nature of the threat, then the severity of the pain inflicted could be justified, as long as it was not punishment for a crime already committed.

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) was a POW for more than five years.  He was tortured by his North Vietnamese captors, and bears physical deformity to this day from the severity of his treatment.  In Scalia's twisted mind, the North Vietnamese acted appropriately in their treatment of McCain, until such time as they formally convicted him of crimes against the North Vietnamese people.  It was evidently okay, says the septugenarian Supreme Court Justice, to take action, including "waterboarding," against someone such as McCain representing a potential terroristic threat to the peace and well-being of a sovereign state.  It would be a violation of law however, to continue the treatment once McCain was convicted of a crime.

The United States of America has been holding some pretty bad guys in Guantanamo, and to this moment, without trial.  In Scalia's mind, as long as these guys are held without trial, for however long that may be, then there are no ground rules for their treatment.  Washington D.C. barrister David Remes, who has argued against Scalia in the past, stated "He was brushing aside principles of international and domestic law that have long governed the treatrment of captives.  He was treating difficult issues as easy.  This is disturbing."

Frodo almost agrees with barrister Remes.  Actually, it is more than disturbing, it is insanity.  Frodo wonders how Senator McCain feels knowing that at least part of the time his North Vietnamese captors were acting legally, if not humanely, according to the type of Supreme Court Justice McCain feels he would appoint should he win election to the Presidency.

It should be noted that McCain is a year older than Scalia.  Perhaps if he still had his sense of hearing, he could respond to the Madman in Black.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:31 PM EST
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
We Are The Champions of the World
Mood:  cool
Topic: "Number One" (3)

Despite possession of one of the most distinctive of voices, all he has to do is stand there, and to lift his eyes beyond yours.  Perhaps he sees what we do not.  There is an attraction that goes beyond the physical, perhaps into the metaphysical, that defies simple description, and requires Frodo to look deep into himself in order to understand what it is that fills his own eyes with moisture.

Standing crowds cheer as he saunters about the stage, and those who share that platform appear as if, they, too, are caught up in the magic that fills the air.  It is an electric moment, magnified by the toothiest grin in all the world.  He laughs, and we laugh with him.  He knows that he is the first of his kind, and that years of injustice are peeled away in his honor.  We all seem to covet a little participation in a truly seminal event.

The very first beagle to ever win the Westminster Dog Show is named Uno.

 What?  You anticipated something else?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:47 AM EST
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Sunday, February 10, 2008
I'm Pickin' Up Good Vibrations
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Father Ed" (3)

In almost everything Frodo reads these days, there seems to be a political conflict between secularists-and- the religious, as if there is something distinguishing one from another.  In Pakistan and  Afghanistan, as well as in the United States, there are discernible sides being chosen, and in too many cases violence ensues.  Everywhere in Middle Earth there is some sort of competition about what exactly is the relationship between those who walk the land of Middle Earth, and those who soar above it.  Everyone, save Frodo, seems to have an opinion.

Frodo happens to think that it is one of the most personal of matters, and he has absolutely no interest in what anyone happens to believe.  When asked, Frodo ignores the question, and responds with the words to a song he remembers from his earliest of days.  It had to do with skin color, children, and the fact that Jesus loved all of them.  He adds that there must not have been any gay people when that song was written.  Generally, he feels his point is made and that leaves lots of opportunity for common discourse, which gives Frodo the opportunity to determine whether or not he intends to ascribe any credibility to this individual on any subject.

There have been many instances in his life where Frodo sought professional assistance for one need or another.  Frodo has a long-term relationship with a dentist, for example, and it is unlikely that Frodo would ever give any credence to a pastor on dental matters.  Similarly, there have been times when somebody trained in dealing with a matter of faith went a whole lot further than Frodo's dentist.  The following is one such instance in Frodo's life.

After the College of the Shire, Frodo went to study in the City of Orleans.  Erringly, Frodo was considering becoming an academic, but soon enough he recognized that teaching without having done anything didn't impress Frodo very much.  Frodo lived in a "suite' with five other male graduate students.  One of them studied Drama, another History, another Art History, and after Frodo (and some guy who was never quite sober), there was "Father Ed."  Father Ed Murphy was a priest from Chicago.  As memory serves, he was on some sort of special sabbatical that freed him from his pastoral duties thus allowing him to pursue a PhD, but Frodo is unable to remember what it was that Father Ed was studying.

Father Ed roomed with the guy studying Art History (whom Frodo felt reasonably confident had special concerns about the Book of Leviticus).  Frodo remembers that the two would go to a certain bar almost every evening, listen to "Hey Jude," smoke cigarettes, and talk about a lot of stuff in which Frodo had only a passing interest.  Accompanying them one evening, Frodo was surprised to learn that Father Ed's honest-to-goodness brother had been the Floor Leader for Senator Eugene McCarthy at the Democratic National Convention in 1968.  As much as Frodo tried, he could never get Father Ed to discourse too much on such a fascinating subject.  Father Ed knew that his time "on the outside" was short, and he was looking to do as much fun stuff as he could.

Then, one gray day it happened.  Frodo got a letter from Sam which he picked up at the P.O on his way to a course in "International Politics."  In the letter, Sam informed him that Johhny Jenkins had been killed in Vietnam.  Frodo doesn't remember anything about that class, except that he left his best jacket on the back of his chair, and he never saw it again.  He was totally and completely distraught, and he didn't have any idea what to do, to say, or even to think.

Frodo knocked on the door of Father Ed's room.  It was probably difficult to determine who was more surprised, but Frodo sat down and explained what had just happened, and that was all Father Ed needed.  In one of the truly gracious and sensitive moments in all his life, a Man of Faith asked no questions of Frodo about what he was, or where he went, or what he thought.  He simply talked about the mysteries, and the fact that bad things do happen to good people, and that it is a part of life as much as is birth itself.  Frodo will never forget the solace he felt, and now, as we approach the fortieth anniversary of that day, Frodo thinks of the Word.

Frodo could certainly "google" Father Ed Murphy, and he is sure he would find out what has happened to him since that day when they said their final good-bye.  Frodo has not done so, nor will he.  It was meant, on that day, for them to be together, and Frodo learned that a guiding hand will be there when he asks for it.      

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:00 PM EST
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Saturday, February 9, 2008
My Bags Are Packed, I'm Ready To Go
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "Comin' Home" (3)

Peter Neesley lived in a far-off land called Michigan.  Like most young men, he was many complicated things, but not least among his credentials was his love of strays.  He told his family that his most recent acquisitions were named Mama, a black labrador mix, and Boris, her white-and-brown spotted puppy.  One of Mama's other puppies had been killed by a car, so Neesley and his friends built a dogouse to shelter all of the remaining family members.  Although he was far away from home, his family knew that he was keeping his family in his heart by tending to those who needed his help.

On Christmas morning past, the Neesley family was devastated to learn that Sergeant Peter Neesley was another victim of the War that was enacted to prevent War. 

Among the e-mails and photographs in the Neesley household were depictions of Mama and Boris, with the words that when he came home in July, he was going to bring them, somehow, home with him to Michigan.

The two dogs were picked up in Baghdad this week by a "rapid response manager" for the Utah-based Best Friends Animal Society.  Gryphon Holdings LLC, an American-owned airline, flew the dogs from Iraq to Kuwait.  A veterinarian with the Iraqi Society for Animals vaccinated the dogs and arranged for their health certificates allowing travel to the United States.  This past Thursday, the dogs were greeted at Dulles National Airport by Justin Harlem, an aide to Senator Carl Levin (D-MH).  Yesterday, Mama and Boris arrived at the Grosse Pointe Farm that will, now and forever, be their home, with Peter.

Carey Neesley, Peter's sister, knelt on the wet pavement and embraced Mama.  It appeared as if they both were crying.  "This is so awesome," said Carey, "Peter always had such a strong sense of family and protecting those who cannot protect themselves."

It is not enough, thought Frodo, to simply leave this story where it is.  So much more need be said about that which was borne by those who acted to do "the right thing."  Frodo, personally, asks to express his gratitude and appreciation to all those who helped bring a very real part of this young man home.  Five more young men died yesterday, proof, supposes Frodo, that "the surge is working."  Lest we forget, dear reader; lest we forget.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:32 AM EST
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Thursday, February 7, 2008
My Baby's Got Me Locked Up In Chains
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Change?" (3)

"Reverend Governor Mister Huckabee, a question if I may?"

"Uh-oh.  Is that who I think it is?"

"Yes Reverend Governor Mister, it is I, Frodo, Star Reporter of the SHIRE TIMES & CHRONICLE."

"Aren't you the one that made toast of my friend Fred Thompson at one of these news briefings?"

"Reverend Governor Mister, as the saying goes about the heat in the kitchen, . . ."

"I understand.  I assume you have a question for me?"

"Yes Reverend Governor Mister, during the days leading up to the Florida Primary you stated that something specific should be done to expand the local economy.  Can you recall that from your memory bank and perhaps apply that to the larger national economy.  I can't seem to find where you've repeated that suggestion since.  You know, it had to do with I-95?"

"Uh, well, yes.  I made the point that because of all the natural disasters striking Florida that housing values were dropping, and that insurance problems, and infrastructure needs meant that insufficient resources had been devoted to those concerns.  The result being that traffic delays were increased, thereby even further hurting local businesses."

"Oh yeah, thanks, that was it.  So what is it that you proposed to do?"

"The best way to reduce traffic is to create more access for automobiles, thereby lessening the concentration of traffic.  Does that answer your question?"

"No Reverend Governor Mister Huckabee, I believe you specifically suggested that Interstate 95 be widened by two lanes, and that the result would be less traffic backlog, and a concomitant increase in business in the local economy.  Can you tell us how widening of I-95 would help the local economy?  Are you suggesting that we could help the national economy if we widened I-95 by say, 10 lanes?"

"Well, we do have some other people here who would like to ask questions. . ."

"What would be gained by widening the damn road?"

"I think, if we remain calm, we would like to study the suggestion to see if it would reduce traffic congestion and make driving into downtown Miami more palatable for shoppers."

"Tell me Reverend Governor Mister, do you still eat squirrel?"

"I believe that hunting is a constitutionally protected right under the Second Amendment. . ."

"I read too, Reverend Governor Mister, but you are the one who told the story of how you used to heat-and-eat squirrel in a popcorn popper during your college days.  What I asked is if you still eat squirrel?  If so, how do you fix them?  Do you boil them, or do you prefer fried?"

"Squirrel has been a staple in Arkansas going back to pioneer days, and many of our States' residents consume these tasty. . ."


"I believe squirrels are so classified. . ."

"By Science?"

"Are you now changing subjects on me?"

"Reverend Governor Mister, I could do this all day.  Or are you ready to break for lunch?  I'm wondering if all this discussion about food has made you hungry?"

"An excellent suggestion Mr. Frodo."

"Until the next time."

Reverend Governor Mister Huckabee tugged at his shorts as he walked off the stage, and he whispered to Chuck Norris, who glared at Frodo.   Frodo smiled and held up his copy of "Elmer Gantry."

"Do you think you could get him to autograph this for me, Chuckles?" 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, February 7, 2008 8:58 PM EST
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Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Black Bottom Girls, You Make The Rockin' World Go Round
Mood:  hungry
Topic: "Cake in the Rain"(3)

A noble lady died today, just one week from her 95th birthday.  Frodo grieves not, however, simply because her memories were long ago stolen from her, and her once regal bearing had been lost to time.  Alma, sister of Frodo's father, and last of her siblings, leaves a legacy of two daughters and innumerable grandchildren.  For most, such an inheritance would be both both enviable and sufficient  for Middle Earth.  Frodo however will mark her passing and dub her as he will always remember her.  She was Alma, Queen of Caramel Cake.

No pillow was as soft as the white cake which blossomed from the bottom of that pan.  The creamy caramel color covering that which could be snowfall beneath, carried an aroma which, for want of a more descriptive word, seduced the salivary glands.  A heaping helping of hospitality, served with a glass of whole milk, around a 50's Era kitchen table is a picture that even Norman Rockwell could not capture.  Only in the eye that is encapsulated in Frodo's mind will there always be a work of art as fine as a Lladro ceramic, of Alma, and her heavenly creation.

There will be other Caramel Cakes in Frodo's future, of that he is sure.  This night though, Frodo likes to believe that his Dad will be visiting with his Sister, and that he is enjoying time with the Queen of Caramel Cake, and sampling her greatest product.  What, pray tell, could Heaven have been like without Caramel Cake?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:51 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, February 6, 2008 9:16 PM EST
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Sunday, February 3, 2008
I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke, And Keep Her Company
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Apocalypse Now?" (3)

"Young man, could you help me for a moment please?"

Frodo turned to a man in a wheelchair.  He had a blanket across his lap, a sweater about his shoulders, a fedora covered his head, and, the oddest thing, a cigarette holder in his hand.

"Yes, sir, I suppose not all city streets are totally adapted to ramps for the disabled are they?"

"Apparently not," he snorted.

Frodo pushed the ancient wheelchair up over the curb, and started to walk away as he sought  the continuance of his quest.

"Thank you, young man, and may I say that you appear somewhat familiar to me.  Are me acquainted?"

Frodo had had the same thought. 

"My name is Frodo Sir, and I am from the Shire.  Downtown Atlanta is not far, but it is also a great distance in many respects and I am not here often."

"Well, my name is Franklin.  Have you ever been to Warm Springs?"

"Indeed I have.  It is truly a lovely place.  Is that your home?"

Franklin nodded and smiled at Frodo.  "Well what brings you to this place that is 'not far, but also a great distance,' Mr. Frodo?"

Pausing, Frodo looked into the eyes of Franklin, and wondered if he should simply bid the stranger adieu, or to share his quest with one who may think him  stranger than most.

"I read something in this morning's paper which upset me Sir, and I decided that I had to do something to help right a wrong.  It required that I come downtown and offer some assistance to a worthy cause."

"Oh, would you mind sharing with me what it is that has so upset one on 'Super Sunday'?," he smiled.

"The bodies of four apparently homeless people were found in various spots around Atlanta yesterday.  I read that all of them were over 50 years of age, none had been identified, and that it appears that each death was coincidentally weather-related."

Franklin simply stared at Frodo.  He no longer smiled, and he said "What, Mr. Frodo, is it that you propose we do?"

Frodo was a little startled by the use of the word "we," but he responded directly, "The Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless" was referred to in the paper and they seek out such people, and bring them in for shelter and food.  I looked them up in the telephone book (404-589-0636), and decided I could come down and bring them a check."  Frodo continued, "The Executive Director there was pretty upset when she heard what had happened, and she remarked about how difficult it is to deal with some of their 'clients' who are psychotic or simply afraid and don't know what to do.  She said that once the decedents are identified, it is likely that at least one would be a Veteran."

Franklin looked at the Hobbit, and seemed to be trying to form words of his own.  "It is so hard for me to help."

"You, sir," began Frodo, now recognizing exactly with whom he was speaking, " have done your share.  It was you that taught Frodo to believe that in this country no one should starve, or freeze, in the lonely darkness.  This is why government exists; to protect the smallest and the weakest.  I am just doing what I can."

"God Bless you, Mr. Frodo.  It is what I tried to ensure."

"God Bless you, Mr. Roosevelt.  Frodo will do better to make sure that we don't let you down again."

When Frodo looked back, the man in the wheelchair had turned the corner and was gone.   Frodo turned his collar to the cold, and knew that he would soon be that much closer to the destruction of the Ring.  The "Greatest Generation" had done their part.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:57 PM EST
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