Topic: "Three A.M." (4)
"Mr. Frodo, I'm here from the Obama campaign."
"Yes young man, I've been expecting you. Your telephone call this morning sounded very urgent. What can I do for you?"
"Well Sir, as you may have noted, Senator Obama got sort of derailed on his way to the Democratic nomination last night."
"Yes, I think I heard something about that. But what does that have to do with me, a mere Hobbit?"
"Well Sir, the Senator has been following your writings, and he asked several of us for input on how Mr. Frodo might combat some of the negative ads being used by the opposition. I merely suggested that we ask you for your opinion. So here I am."
"I see, so are you here asking in generalities or is there something specific?
"Well Sir, in particular, the Senator was really miffed about that ad which dealt with a telephone call at three AM, which suggested that Senator Obama would not be able to handle an emergency situation."
"First off, young man, Senator Obama is aware that there was absolutely nothing original about that ad? In fact, it was basically plagiarized from ads run in earlier elections by both Democrats and Republicans."
"Yes Sir, we were familiar with the theme, and if you'll remember, we did try a strong response almost immediately."
"Yes my boy, I saw that. In a word, it sucked."
"Sir? We actually thought it was pretty good."
"My boy, go back and tell your boss to contract for two ads. One directed at Senator Clinton, the other at Senator McCain."
"Okay, but why two different ones?"
Frodo smiled. "For Senator Clinton, start things out exactly as shown previously, you can even use the same dialogue up to the point of 'Who do you want answering the phone at Three A.M.?' and then comes the clincher."
"The next line should be, 'Hello, this is Bill.'"
"Hah (sounding a bit like Chris Matthews), I get it. That would be great. But what about McCain?"
"My boy, that's even easier. Just let the phone keep ringing, and when the question is asked, turn up the background noise to hear the most godawful snoring ever broadcast during the family hour."
"Mr. Frodo, if things work out the way we hope, would you consider a position in the Obama Administration?"