Topic: "Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
General Petraeus received today the approved outline for his report. The Incomparable Moron announced that "Al Kreider" had reconstituted himself in Iraq and was confronting us there in order to destroy us and our way of life. In fact, "Al Kreider" is preparing to follow us back to our homes if we fail to confront and defeat him in Iraq. Complete and total victory must be achieved in Iraq, and it may take several more years at present or stronger troop levels to achieve that victory.
Frodo started to change channels. Suddenly, he had an epiphany and decided that it might be worth listening just a wee bit more. Once again, the Incomparable Moron started in on "Al Kreider," so Frodo decided to put his computer to work. It turns out, according to the googling methodology, that "Al Kreider" owns the next ranch in Crawford, Texas. Mr. Kreider, it seems, has evidently been a major irritant to his next-door neighbors. Mr. Kreider has just completed building a new ranch house, modeled after the newly-constructed US Embassy in Baghdad, utilizing Mexican day laborers, and costing far less than the $1 Billion the Incomparable Moron had "earmarked" for his Pyramid, er, we mean Embassy.
Mr. Kreider is evidently not the outdoorsy-type, because he has allowed brush to grow willy-nilly all over his property. It is likely that he doesn't even own a chainsaw. This is of course a bone of contention in a land without zoning restrictions.
This means that although Frodo may not have been the first to discover that the Incomparable Moron fails to comprehend whom we are fighting or why, he has indeed discovered the fact that he thinks he's fighting his next-door neighbor, "Al Kreider." Frodo is just so very grateful that Mr. Kreider has not sold his property to anyone named "Hips Bullock" or anyone named "Chenise Armey."