Topic: "Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and Frodo is incensed at the continuing discrimination by the State of Georgia, in particular the Governor, the round mound of reknown, Mr. Sonny Perdue, against Christianity. Throughout the New Testament, there is reference to the favorite beverage of the time. There is no reference to "sweet tea," and there is no reference to "Coca-Cola," but even at the Last Supper, wine was served. It is absolutely outrageous that the State of Georgia is one of only three states in the entire country that prohibits the sale of wine on Easter Sunday, or, in fact, on any of the 52 Sundays that occur annually.
Governor Perdue, who alleges that he does not "drink," which raises the question of how exactly he defines the term, argues that despite the overwhelming percentage of the state citizenry who desire a plebiscite on the issue, it is inappropriate to hold an election. Perdue stated recently that it would be almost as inappropriate if the citizenry demanded to hold an election on the legalization of prostitution .
Frodo says "Hold on, big fella."
"Governor Perdue," stated Frodo, "you do realize that if prostitution had been legalized in the State of New York, Elliot Spitzer would still be in office, don't you?"
Governor Perdue, formerly a Democrat, is normally a veterinarian in the community of Bon Air, Georgia. Sonny switched parties, curiously, when he seemed incapable of achieving higher office as a Democrat.
"Governor Perdue," queried Frodo, "why is your hometown named after a product which sounds as if it was developed to clean bathrooms?"
In an effort to ameliorate the concerns of the Governor, who led a prayer vigil on the steps of the State Capitol Building to convince the Almighty that Georgia needed rain, several citizens have offered reasonable alternatives.
"Governor Perdue," offered Frodo, "I recognize that employees of liquor stores and other beverage distributors need time off with their families, so why don't we simply eliminate beverage sales on Thursdays?"
Senator John McCain was in Atlanta several days ago, and he was obviously thrilled with the endorsement he received from Governor Perdue. Perdue, of course, had openly supported Governor Huckleberry of "R-Kansas" during the Republican Primary held earlier in the year. Journalists and GOP faithful keep mentioning "Sonny" as a potential selectee for the Vice Presidency on the McCain ticket.
Frodo thinks many Journalists and GOP faithful have been drinking something stronger than "sweet tea."
"Governor Perdue," begs Frodo, "would you try to extend the ban on Sunday sale of wine nationally, if you were anointed by Senator McCain?"
For the uninitiated, and the naturally curious, who follow Frodo religiously, the other two states which currently prohibit Sunday sale of wine are Indiana (home of that paragon of progressive thought, Representative Dan Burton, and the folks who sent Dan Quayle to the US Senate) and Connecticut (home of the Foreign Policy translator, Senator Joe Lieberman).
It was announced last month that the Atlanta Braves' top minor league franchise, the Richmond Braves, were, after more than 30 years, being relocated to Gwinnett County, Georgia. Governor Perdue requested that the State Legislature grant a "special dispensation" to the economic windfall accompanying the team transfer into Georgia. That "special dispensation," is to allow the sale of alcoholic beverages at the new stadium, on Sundays.
Even John McCain is not dim-witted enough to kiss his chances good-bye by running with a buffoon. Then again, what ever happened to Dan Quayle?