Mood: accident prone
Topic: "Number Please?"(7)
"Yes, this is Suite 1313, I'd like transportation to the American Embassy, please."
"I'm sorry Sir, but due to the recent unpleasantness, the American Embassy has been closed and the doors are locked."
"Closed, eh? Well, can you get someone to take me to the Swiss Embassy?"
"I'm afraid not Sir, in fact, I am relatively certain that all, or nearly all, of the Embassies have had their staff transported to a safe location, at least until the bombing is halted."
"Well, in my case it already has."
"Yes, I am, I mean was, the navigator on the F-15 that suffered mechanical problems while enforcing the 'No-Fly Zone' mandated by the United Nations Security Resolution."
"Oh General, what an honor it is to have you as a guest in our humble establishment. I was made aware of your presence here when I came on duty earlier this afternoon. Welcome to Benghazi."
"Thank you, I'm sure, but can you find a way to contact my superiors so that I can return to duty? By the way, I'm just a lowly Colonel in the US Navy"
"Oh Certainly Sir, I'll get to work on it right now and get back to you post haste. If you should need anything, anything at all, just ask for me. My name is 'Curveball'."
Several minutes pass.
"Curveball here, Sir. I am pleased to report that I have arranged your passage to the island of Malta on the only remaining cruise ship in the harbor."
"Malta, I don't want to go to Malta, I want to return to my ship."
"Actually Sir, the cruise ship is scheduled to depart for Malta as part of its normal cruise regimen, and the US Navy is dispatching one of its vessels to meet you there."
"Oh, hey that's good work Curveball. Is that the ship just off to my left out this sliding glass door in my Suite?"
"It is indeed."
"What is the ship, and when does it depart?"
"It is a Carnival Cruise Lines ship named 'Odyssey Dawn,' scheduled to depart within the hour."
"Odyssey Dawn? Carnival Cruise Lines? Are you sure about that?"
"Sir, that which I have said is exactly what i was told by the US Representative at the travel office we use exclusively here in Benghazi, owned by a group of Americans who call themselves 'Air America'."