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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
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Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I Get Down On My Knees And Pray, We Won't Be Fooled Again
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Tiger By The Tail" (5)

Frodo is acquainted with a "Groupie."  She collects autographs.  Frodo knows this because, as a gift, she gave him several signatures which, she thought, would be impressive to him and perhaps someday of pecuniary value.  From time-to-time Frodo fingers through his inventory noting the primary presence of professional athletes and concert performers (Frodo divulging only that the names Presley, Simpson, and Woods are absent).  Most recently, he considered the collection after listening to the CBS Evening News devote twelve minutes of broadcast time to the "Confessions of Tiger Woods," at the beginning of the show.

Frodo was struck by the commentary from one of the Woods' "conquests" who noted that "Tiger" had apologized to everyone except those in her particular grouping.  She attempted to relate the rehabilitation process undergone by Mr. Woods as somewhat similar to the "twelve-step process" in which those addicted to alcoholic beverages participate.  Her point being that the "addict" must first apologize to everyone 

Frodo has not heard anyone make the point that the "Groupies" are everywhere, and that those in public life fall to temptation due to sheer volume, at least occasionally.  Frodo has often thought about the distinction between "conquest" and "gift-giving."  Cocktail waitresses, at least those in the acquaintance of Mr. Woods, surely, must be blessed, because of their proclivity to instill gifts upon those with whom they can share a few moments of fame, and perhaps receive an autograph.  Frodo likes to feel that, as a virtual unknown, he earned it, the old fashioned-way(regretting only that he failed to work even harder in times past).

Frodo wandered into the subject-area not because he advocates or decries the "treatment" offered the apologetic protagonist, but because he wonders about the psyche of those who see themselves as innocents in the process.   Some fruit falls from the branch before it is plucked, he supposes.

Wanna bet there isn't a political message in here somewhere?   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:49 PM EST
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Thursday, February 18, 2010
I've Got a Brand New Pair Of Roller Skates, You've Got a Brand New Key
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Another Three-namer"(5)

"Commissioner Frodo, I would like to express my appreciation for your willingness to testify before this Committee, investigating the performance and subsequent recall of Toyota automotive products. . ."

"Uh, Senator Useless (R-GA), excuse me, but I am not here to testify about Toyota, or any other automotive issue."

"Oh, pardon me, Commissioner, I'm afraid that I got my teleprompter notes confused, I realize that you're here to discuss the Public Option. . ."

"Senator, I'm the Commissioner of Internal Revenue."

"Well, what are you doing here in this Healthcare Committee hearing?  Is this another effort by the Administration to. . ."

"Senator, unless I am mistaken, this Hearing, which your office initiated, is intended to gather information about the events of this past Thursday in Austin, Texas."

"What happened?"

"That's why we're here."

"Why is that?"

"Senator, perhaps you'd like to consult with the Minority Chair, Senator Dimwit (R-SC), as to the purpose of this Hearing?"

A slight pause while a conversation takes place away from the microphones.

"I see now, Commissioner Frodo, you're here to help those of us concerned about America's security figure out exactly who this terrorist was that destroyed Federal Property in Austin, and what we can do to see that this Administration begins to do something about these threats to the safety of the American people."

"If that's your purpose, so be it Senator, but let me say that there is no evidence to support this tragedy as anything approaching anything other than the act of a person deranged."

"Hmph, I assume, Commissioner, that you've read the document prepared by Mr. Andrew Joseph Stack which he posted on the Internet prior to his alleged attack on the Austin District Office of the IRS?"

"I have read the document, Senator."


"And what?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?  There are more than 5,000 rambling words in the statement."

"Commissioner, you know damn well, that this letter was a cry for help by another Middle-Class American put upon by an oppressive giant behemoth called the Federal Government."

"Senator, I could not begin to speculate on the motivation of this individual, and, as you know, I am unable to comment on any knowledge I may or may not have about the dealings the IRS may or may not have had previously with Mr. Stack."

"Say what?  You mean you won't tell this Committee what the Government did to drive this poor man to such an insane act?  Is this another act of "transparency" under President Obama?"

"Senator, the Congress of the United States, in its wisdom, has issued laws and regulations which specifically prohibit any IRS employee from commenting on the tax affairs of any individual, absent the written approval of the taxpayer himself."

"Even if the taxpayer is dead?"

"That is correct."

"Well, that's a damn dumb law."

"Senator, since all of the tax laws and regulations under the Internal Revenue Code are initiated in Congress, it is probably impolitic of you to criticize your own work without accepting the blame for the confusion, the complexity, and the unfairness thereof.  In the Shire, one might say that it would be fitting for the "fox to smell his own hole first'."

"The Committee thanks the Commissioner. . ."

"Senator, one more thing if you please, there is nothing keeping you from releasing information about who this guy was, and what his problems were."

The Senator's bad knee was bothering him, so he exited the Hearing Room without further comment.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:23 PM EST
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Wednesday, February 17, 2010
You And I Must Make a Pact
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Somethin' Borrowed"(5)

Frodo sometimes has a lot to say, but the placement of words into the paperless compositions that confront the ocular seemingly lessen the content of the intent.  The result is maddening silence.  Occasionally, Frodo will himself be confronted by something so profound in its creation that he, once again, has to stand in silent, maddening, awe.  The result is this new trick.

What follows is one entire exact quotation from a book entitled "The Kite Runner."  It was the first book written by Khaled Hosseini, although it was his second, read by the Hobbit.  For a million reasons, it is a novel you should read, and not try to make into something other than what it is. 

The music you hear in the background is the humming of the Hobbit.

"We saw our first Western together, RIO BRAVO, with John Wayne, at the Cinema Park, across the street from my favorite bookstore.  I remember begging Baba to take us to Iran so we could meet John Wayne.  Baba burst out in gales of his deep-throated laughter--a sound not unlike a truck engine revving up--and, when he could talk again, explained to us the concept of voice dubbing.  Hassan and I were stunned.  Dazed.  John Wayne didn't really speak Farsi and he wasn't Iranian!  He was American, just like the friendly, longhaired men and women we always saw hanging around in Kabul, dressed in their tattered, brightly colored shirts.  We saw RIO BRAVO three times, but we saw our favorite Western, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, thirteen times.  With each viewing, we cried at the end when the Mexican kids buried Charles Bronson--who, as it turned out, wasn't Iranian either." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EST
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Friday, February 12, 2010
Everytime I Tried To Tell You The Words Just Came Out Wrong
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: "Read All About It" (5)

"Man Destroys TVs in Wal-Mart Bat Attack."

Frodo was thrilled at the headline in the Metro Section of the once-great, now-sorry, ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION.

In his mind's eye, Frodo envisioned a story whereby the Lords of Bentonville had unknowingly constructed a megalith over the entrance to a cave which harbored millions of hibernants.  Imagine if, dare he say it, they were fruit bats, and the story would go on to explain how the "greeter" at the front of the store had been overwhelmed by a storm of uninvited "window shoppers" and the result had been the destruction of the entire store supply of HDTV's by tons of bat poop.  Frodo would have paid for admission to the claims presentation by store management to the insurance company underwriters.  

Alternatively, the story might have been about some member of the Tea Bag Party who was attacked by the store mascot, i.e. the Wal-Mart Bat, and who destroyed hundreds of TVs attempting to escape from another lunatic in a clown suit.  Frodo dreamed of his make-believe role as Officer Frodo attempting to present charges for malicious mischief to a wary judge.

What he didn't expect to read, given the wording of the headline, was that a miscreant named Wesley Strellis, 23, of Gwinnett County Georgia (home to the "Runaway Bride," the "Barbie Banditos," and the attempted assassin of Larry Flynt) had calmly walked into his local Wal-Mart, selected a baseball bat from the Sporting Goods section, and proceeded to smash the daylights out of every TV on display.  At "press time," there had been no information available as to the motivation for the alleged destruction of more than $22,000 worth of televisions.

Frodo would argue "justifiable self-defense" in Mr. Strellis' behalf if, as is often the case, all the TVs had all been tuned into FOX News.  No rational person could withstand that much bat shit.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:26 PM EST
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Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sometimes We'll Sigh, Sometimes We'll Cry
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Healthcare for Frodo"(5)

Benzedrine, or "Bennies" as they were known in the day, was used to assist struggling scholars somnambulate through the third exam in only two days.  Everyone has heard the story of the "other guy" who dropped his pencil on the floor, and spent the remainder of the available time on the floor, contemplating how the pencil could once again assume its rightful position in his hand.  Frodo heard the story too, and it is one of the reasons he never tried the stuff.  Besides, his Old Man would've killed him.

Frodo is not ashamed to surprise everyone and admit that even as an offspring of the era, he didn't do anything like that (of course, he did everything else imaginable, except land an airplane on an aircraft carrier).  Frodo enjoyed the more temporal pleasures, and he did his best to become an artiste.

In 1965, Frodo was administered anesthesia.  As much as he'd like to profess that surgery was required in order to salve wounds suffered in arguing against another unjust war, it was actually of assistance in correcting the "deviated septum" with which he had been born.   This is relevant only because this past Monday encompassed another anesthesia injection, and helped to convince Frodo that it will be at least another 45 years before he gets wasted in that format, voluntarily.

Frodo has long believed that there have been no white, American, males admitted to medical practice since 1965.  In fact, in some "specialties" the practitioners are even more segregated.  It has been Frodo's experience that every gastroenterologist whom he has ever met was a Jewish guy named Cohen.  Everyone was at least a foot shorter than the Hobbit, and weighed fifty pounds more.  In truth, every one was married to a "Jewish American Princess" whose mother stalked the unwitting medical student until he relented and married her daughter.  Of note is the fact that Frodo has also never seen a gastoenterologist smile, and perhaps the imagination is a better producer of straight lines than the Hobbit at this juncture.

Frodo had never undergone a colonoscopy, which has been the reason behind the sincere and intense haranguing in recent days by a bevy of associates.  Frodo was referred to a guy he had never met, and when Frodo was wheeled into the "medical facility," he was greeted by a smiling Italian, named Tranchina.  Frodo should have known to ask for a fat Jew.

When Frodo came to, Sam was beside him.  The "procedure," scheduled for no more than 30 minutes, lasted more than 50.  It seems that the hacking cough which plagued Frodo throughout January was somehow re-energized by the presence of anesthesia, and Frodo had hacked his way through the entire procedure, and the staff were somewhat concerned about the "restricted airway" which resulted.  In all, Frodo came to with no knowledge of what had transpired, except for the fact that he felt pretty funky.

Frodo has developed a "dry" cough that is accentuated in moments of excitement or mild exercise.  As long as he stays close to cough medicine, which is a narcotic he supposes, he is slowly regaining normalcy.

By the by, all that was discovered was a 'medium-sized" polyp, "way back up in there," and appropriate slides are being pored over by scientists who do not get paid enough for what they do, every single day.

Georgia, a laughingstock by most measures against other parts of America, does require that health insurance providers include the colonoscopy as a part of every policy they write.  That doesn't mean they are cheap, it just means that you can get one easy enough.

Frodo is not ashamed to document this instance of "public enema number one" for all his friends and followers.  He hopes that all will take advantage of a service which helps fight premature demise, even if, sometimes, the cure is like Timothy Leary on steroids.

Frodo hopes you will be there when he next returns to utilize the services of Dr. Tranchina--in 45 years.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST
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Saturday, February 6, 2010
I Feel Sorry, Sorry For You
Mood:  silly
Topic: "Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)

"This is your correspondent Frodo Baggins, reporting to you from the Midway, at Opryland USA.  Here we are in the middle of the event that dwarfs all the other events of the weekend, the very first National Convention of the Tea Bag Party."

"As you can see behind me, the crowds are humongous, with over 100 people who are at least 100 pounds overweight, in flip-flops and other fashionable apparel provided by the good folks in Bentonville, Arkansas."

"What strikes you first are the colorful and creative tee shirts which adorn the throng of merry-makers.  There are yellow shirts bearing witticisms like "If they didn't want you to eat it, why'd they make it look like a taco?" and that old family favorite, "Insured by Smith & Wesson."

"The crowd is still recovering from the inspiring kick-off speech offered last evening by that great American, Mr. Tom Tancredo (who may be seen in reruns of 'The Sopranos').  The former Congressman from the State of Colorado (make a note to cancel ski vacation) thrilled the throng with his inspiring reflections back to the good ole days before the demise of the poll tax and desegregated schools.  This correspondent can tell you ladies and gentleman, you couldn't even hear the ketchup slurped off a single french fry during that speech!  What a way to warm up the crowd!"

"Oh boy 'though, the biggest part of the celebratin' will come later this evening, after all of the workshops and committee meetings are concluded, when the Queen of the Heartland arrives in her personal double-wide.  Sarah Palin herself will speak before the largest crowd in Opryland political history, to over a thousand people paying $350 a piece to hear her refute that little Communist bitch Katie Couric and discuss the latest issue of the 'National Enquirer,' which she has read from cover-to-cover."

"The importance of this grass-roots gathering cannot be over-emphasized in the opinion of this correspondent.  It won't matter if former Governor Palin doesn't get around to mentioning Rush Limbaugh and his use of the word 'retard' more than 40 times.  It won't matter if the Congresswomen from Minnesota and Tennessee do stay away in order to protect themselves from ethical whispers emanating from campaign contributors.  What matters is that these Americans, free from the restrictions of fact and education, are here. . .in Opryland. . .on Super Saints Bowl Week-end. . .while it snows like hell all over the East Coast. . .and these bunch of lunatics will spend all day Sunday finding that the road back to the trailer park started when they dropped out of school after the seventh grade."

"Frodo Baggins, signing off.  Until next time, America."      


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:23 PM EST
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Wednesday, February 3, 2010
PlayThat Funky Music, White Boy
Topic: "First National Bank" (5)

Frodo is not a particularly big fan of Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX).  First off, as most know by now, Frodo is not a particularly big fan of anybody or anything from the area he wishes he could return to Mexico and not have to pay reparations to anyone dumb enough to accept America's biggest waste product (which certainly explains the reason for large deposits of natural gas therein).  Additionally there is the Congressman's proclivity to demonize the presence and the actions of the Federal Reserve Bank, a position which Frodo feels reflects the sophisticated thinking of the early 16th Century.  Representative Paul twists his little nose into the operations of something he does not understand, thereby producing the reason that Frodo rejects Paul's proposed interjections in behalf of transparency and good government.

Seemingly, it makes sense to widen government operations into the open air, and thereby enhance the democratic concepts of everyman as a part of our democracy.  Frodo asks however, dear reader, do you really want Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) in any way involved in America's financial decision-making future?  What about Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), who proves to the world on a seemingly nightly basis that she has no vestige of common sense?  How about Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA) who sits on the Board of Directors of at least two banks both of which are presently under FDIC requirements to "cease and desist" ineffective operations? 

Can you imagine what it would be like to bring these semi-morons into each and every decision to raise or lower interest rates by a quarter point?  These people are owned, lock-stock-and-barrel by interest groups that would lobby them endlessly, one way or another.  There would be no capacity for cooler heads to prevail on business decisions which shape our fiscal wherewithal. 

Frodo suggests, dear reader, that anyone living in or near a major urban area in America first find out if there is a Federal Reserve Bank nearby.  Then, states the Hobbit, go there and take a free tour of the facility, available almost every working day.  Ask the volunteer tour guide about how the members of the local Board are chosen, how often they meet, and what impact their recommendations have on the fiscal policy of the United States?  Then, go home, get down on your knees and thank the Maker that Rep. Ron Paul and Rep Phil Gingrey, and the rest of the Congressional Clowns are out there picking their collective noses, and doing no further harm.

It may not be perfect, but at least it is Paul-free.  Frodo sincerely hopes that those good people who have sought understanding of his protection of this aspect of America's Economic System reflect on the fact that, sometimes, it is good not to have too many cooks (or Texans) pissing in the broth.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EST
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I Guess I'm Just a Stubborn Kind of Fellow
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Gay Faux Holes" (5)

"Secretary Gates, Admiral Mullen, welcome to our hearing this morning.  As we all know, the Administration is proposing that the Congressional Legislation commonly known as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," be rescinded.  Before the Congress considers such action, it is incumbent upon us to seek the opinions of both the Department of Defense and the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  Let me begin by asking Admiral Mullen for his comments."

"Mistuh Chairman, ah object."

"I'm sorry, Senator Simply Useless (aka Saxby Chambliss) (R-GA), I did not hear any question or point raised prior to the opening comments of Admiral Mullen.  What is your objection?"

"I object to the presence of all them pink ribbons openly worn by those in the gallery.  That symbolizes the anti-Chrisitian leanings of those who would defile our honored military veterans.  I ask that they either remove their ribbons, or they be escorted out of this chamber forthwith."

"Senator, why?  No one has, to my knowledge, sought to either disrupt or influence these proceedings, assuming they can begin over your objection."

"I retain my objection."

"Senator, in consideration of your objection, and recognizing the fact that you have no military service history yourself, due, I believe, to a 'bad knee,' isn't it inappropriate for you to even be present in the room with people who have served our nation?"

"Mistuh Chairman, I would've gone to Vietnam had I been able."

"So noted.  Please proceed Admiral Mullen."

"Chairman Frodo, I also object.

"Senator McCain (R-AZ)?  What Sir, is your objection?"

"Since this hearing addresses existing legislation, it seems propriety would require that minutes from prior Congressional Hearings on this matter should first be read into the record."

"I beg you pardon Senator, but you want the Congressional Record, twenty years later, entered into these proceedings?  That sounds rather wasteful to me."

"Mister Chairman, it is incumbent upon this Congress to act to prevent this Administration from ignoring the safety and security of the United States by admitting bung-holers and cocksuckers into the the first lines of our defense."

"Senator McCain, can you give this Chair a single example in order to give any credible consideration to your request?  What negative impact do you foresee if this Legislation were amended to give equal access to military service by all who qualify?"

"Mister Chairman, I fear that those under the spell of homosexuality would be unable to stand up to the rigors of torture as was inflicted upon me during my years of captivity in North Vietnam."

"I see.  Well Senator, I believe every American respects and is grateful to you both for your service, and your sacrifice.  What is it which makes you think that a guy who came in fifth from the bottom of his graduating class at West Point would perform better than someone who graduated first in her class at Wellesley?"

"Mister Chairman, I'm not sure I appreciate the tone of your response."

"Senator, you have exerted your bias and your attempt to forestall consideration of an important public issue before any input has been presented by either the Secretary of Defense or the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  That is improper by both you and Senator Useless.  In my opinion, it is a reflection of a couple of tired old men, who simply forgot that old soldiers, and old draft-dodgers alike, are meant to fade away."

"Well, I never."

"No you didn't.  No you haven't.  Nor will you.

"Sit down and shut up you old farts.  It is time for us to get on with the business of being Americans.  Perjhaps you should take notes.  Admiral Mullen, I believe this country is listening, above the cacophony, in order to hear what you have to say.  Please proceed." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EST
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thinkin' About Things
Mood:  special
Topic: "We Make a Better Day"(5)

Frodo has been listening to a lot of music lately.  The destruction wrought upon one nation introduced him to Justin Timberlake, who won Frodo's respect for the "Hallelujah" he introduced to a world full of watchers the other evening.  Bruce Springsteen gave fresh meaning to "We Shall Overcome" during the same presentation, but it was the memory of something almost forgotten which drew Frodo to search out the lyrics of Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson.  They captivate the Hobbit time and time again.  Frodo is not ashamed to admit that his eyes burn and his heart breaks when Ray Charles takes the microphone, and Frodo searches for the sources of the harmony behind.

The tragedy is that one song only begets another.


"There comes a time when we heed a certain call

When the world must come together as one.

There are people dying and it's time to lend a hand 

To life--the greatest gift of all.

We can't go on pretending day by day

That someone somewhere will soon make a change.

We are all a part of God's great big family

And the truth

You know

Love is all we need.

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving.

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives.

It's true

We'll make a better day

Just you and me.


Send them your heart

So they'll know that someone cares

And their lives will be stronger and free.

As God has shown us by turning stone to bread

And so we must lend a helping hand.

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives

It's true we make a better day

Just you and me."


Tina Turner, Dionne Warwick, wow, hey, isn't that Dan Ackroyd? 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:36 PM EST
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Monday, January 25, 2010
When I Lost My Baby I Almost Lost My Mind
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "If It Ain't OneThing"(5)

Sports, politics, love, work, it don't matter, if momentum is going in the wrong direction there are times when you might as well roll over and turn off the alarm clock (digital, of course).  The Shire is home to hacking coughs, frazzled nerves, overcast skies and limping canines.  It is almost as much fun, says Frodo, as an enema (which reminds him of the colonoscopy scheduled for February 8th).

This past Sunday morning probably dawned, although from the incessant drizzle and invisible skies it was difficult to ascertain.  Frodo had risen early, simply because further sleep was denied by associates requiring the relief provided by authorized urination in the great out-of-doors.  Frodo wondered if President Obama was having as much fun as he. 

Sam and Bilbo were having a heated discussion about breakfast plans.  Frodo had completed his critique of the Sports section, but lacked the capacity to attack Business, National, or Local.  He retreated to the bathroom.

While brushing his teeth, and with the small window on the world slightly ajar, he was startled by the muffled words of a loudspeaker nearby, but out of sight.  "This is the Police.  We are serving a search warrant at this address.  Please come out with your hands up."

This is not a usual morning presentation in the vicinity of the Shire, even on a Sunday.  Frodo nearly strained his neck in the attempt to see something through that tiny window, anything, which might give him some insight into what was going on out there, beyond the Gardens.  His rushed exit from the bathroom caught the attention of Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, who immediately sensed adventure.  Sam and Bilbo listened to his harried explanation but noted, as did Frodo, that things were now silent in every direction.  It was also raining.

Frodo, Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, all properly leashed, took off in rain garb toward the perceived source of the audio activity.  Alas, they found neither flashing lights nor guns drawn.  Sane people, Fiona seemed to say, were back inside, eating breakfast.  By happenstance, Tom Bombadil approached in his motorcar from the opposite direction, and stopped to briefly exchange greetings with the sopping Hobbit and companions.  When informed of the impetus for Frodo's sojourn, Tom attested to the fact that nothing untoward had occurred where he had been.  Frodo noted the sarcastic tone from he who had not even been in the proper vicinity, but it signaled the wisdom for Frodo to return to the interior chambers of the Shire.

He coughed with every step bound toward home.  The closest thing to real human interest had eluded his keen sense of observation, and now he faced incessant questions with no apparent answers.  Frodo quickly eliminated the memories from the appropriate storage facilities in his cerebellum.

Today, however, Bilbo noted a short paragraph in the local newspaper (if you can sanely refer to what they now allege to be a newspaper).  It was noted that in the general vicinity of the Shire, on Sunday morning, a SWAT Team had taken possession of an automobile believed to have been used in a shooting in Mordor.  Although the names were unknown to Frodo, the location was such that it probably represented the events which had drawn his attention, and this narrative.

This evening, Frodo walked by the general area of the events of the day before.  He tarried.  Fiona seemed disinterested, but Mick, the Wonder Dog, was a willing understudy in the search for clues.

Both of his associates wondered why Frodo kept referring to Mick, the Wonder Dog,  as "Watson."   Sometimes, an overly active imagination is all it takes to give meaning to existence in the middle of winters discontent.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:46 PM EST
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