Mood:  celebratory

When things go poorly in Texas, Frodo finds reason to celebrate.  The Texas Rangers choked in the World Series, against Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco Giants.  The Dallas Cowboys are in last place in the NFC East, and they have yet to play either of the two scheduled games with Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles (with God's help, the Cowboys may actually have the worst record in all of professional football this season).  The University of Texas Shorthorns lost to Texas A&M, and almost everybody else they played this season.  Now, however, comes the best news of all, the seemingly resilient money-laundering activities of former Congressman Tom DeLay have yielded a guilty verdict and a sentencing possibility which could put the star-dancing exterminator in prison for the rest of his life.  Frodo would pay real money to see what the future holds in prison for an alumnus from "Dancing With the Stars."

Now, if only Dick Armey and Bill Archer could get their just desserts. 

Imagine, dear reader, a row of cells at a Federal Prison facility (not on an outsourcing contract) with Archer, Armey, and Delay, followed by the seceding Governor, Rick Perry.  Joe Barton, the BP apologist and soon-to-be milkman to special interests in the energy activities of the House of Representatives, would hold down a suite of cells for all his cohorts.  Willy Gomert, the halfwit clown scraped off the bottom of a cow hoof somewhere near Whacko (that is how you pronounce Waco, isn't it?), would be the trusty responsible for doling out gruel to the other prisoners.  What a wonderful mental picture of possibilities.

The skies above the Shire are sapphire-blue, and the last flights of sandhill cranes honk their route to the swamplands of southern Georgia.  The detritus of the last growing season has mostly fallen, and gathered where visitors to the Shire can huddle for warmth throughout the deep frosts to come.  Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, lay in sun patches as they follow the Hobbit from task-to-task.  Sam, dressed in the finest of fashion, toodles about in Frodo's motorcar, in search of holiday treasures and treats for Shiremates.  Football games from throughout the land are near, and the black-and-white is tuned to those of greatest interest to the Hobbit.

This is one of those days that should never end.  Perfect it would be if there is news to come of thunderstorms and tornados in Texas.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:06 PM EST

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Mood:  hug me

"Then Peace Will Guide The Planets And Love Will Fill The Stars..."

Frodo was slightly irritated that his appointment in Probate Court was the victim of mass scheduling.  He was there at 9:30, as he had been directed, but so were others, and that meant, if experience is any kind of guide, that good ole Mr. Frodo would be called last.

Oh well, thought Frodo, it appears that all of the persons associated in the front of the courtroom were part of the same case.  "Perhaps," said he to himself, "it is an opportunity to prepare opening remarks."  His mood changed however, and he decided to pay attention to what was taking place before his eyes.

The young girl was damaged beyond repair, and her grandparents were beseeching the Court to appoint them as Guardians.  The father, according to testimony, had never seen the teenaged product of his manufacture, and the mother (offspring of the appellants) was purportedly trying desperately to support herself, and had neither the resources nor the talent to raise a developmentally-challenged child.

The grandmother spoke forthrightly, and convincingly.  The attorney supported the plea, and the judge asked the grandfather if he wished to add to the testimony.  He deferrred to his wife, and he ran his fingers through the carefully combed hair of the girl at whom he smiled.  Frodo saw a lifetime of hard work gently absorbing another challenge as if it were something much more than simple responsibility.  There was a goodness to those eyes, and Frodo couldn't help but hope that young girl understood.

The judge was wise, and the decision was right.  Then, the subject of the hearing felt compelled to loudly express her concern about leaving the courtroom.  Gently, oh so gently, the new guardians sought to ease the concern and guide their charge peacefully away.  Apologies were expressed, but shushed away by authority, and everyone was allowed to take their time.  As the grandfather passed by Frodo, he received a thumbs up, and a victory smile.  The smile was returned, and the eyes spoke for themselves. 

"It Is The Dawning of The Age of Aquarius. . ."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:04 PM EST

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Mood:  sad

Frodo's father was like a lot of fathers-to-be, then and now.  He had to bring things home.  Why he did is something that Frodo grapples with from time-to-time; did he see the items as potentially valuable or were they rememberances of the experience?  Perhaps the answer lies in the boxes and albums filled with photographs in Frodo's own closets of the Shire?  Perhaps not.

Frodo was told that it was an "Italian Army Rifle," and that it was used by paratroopers, which explained its relatively small size and light weight, only 8.8 pounds in all.  It was liberated from a warehouse, where it lay amongst hundreds of identical mates, long after the Italians had surrendered.  Frodo never attempted to fire the gun, but for some inexplicable reason he had cleaned and greased the weapon many times and, even today, it almost looks as shiny as the day it was first issued for assignment to one, now, long unknown.

Frodo often wondered if it was valuable, and he occasionally brought it out for a visitor to identify or comment upon.  He learned about the ammunition, but little else, until Taylor, he who wed the sister of Sam, took a close look and asked Frodo if he had ever held history before.  Frodo was speechless and unknowing, as he was told that the most famous mate of this very rifle had been sold, by mail order, for less than $13, and had been discovered lying on the floor of a building known as the Texas School Book Depository on a tragic November day in 1963.

Frodo's gun has the original bayonet.  The historical mate has a separate scope through which Lee Harvey Oswald sighted his target.  Frodo, again and again, has tested, and proven, that the rifle could be accurately fired three times within five seconds. 

It is not difficult to use the communication miracles at our disposal to pull up a picture, and to read the history of those who built the company that supplied the rifle that fired the bullets that killed a President.  Frodo's father never knew the coincidental facts of the mate to the gun he brought home for a son yet to be borne.  Frodo thinks often of how much life may have changed had Frodo's father brought home two rifles.  Perhaps not.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:26 PM EST

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Mood:  sharp

Frodo has been playing a little mind game with himself, nothing sensual, but certainly timely.  You can play too, boys and girls, right here in the neighborhood.  All you have to do to start is to make a list of people, half a dozen or so would be fine, all of whom you are sure make more than $250,000 annually.  Then, you need to determine how many of them meet the definition of a "small businessperson," and who have American citizens in their employ.  That's right, what we're doing is testing the Republicant litany that these are the people who would suffer if the "Bush Tax Cuts" were not extended.  The premise being that these "small business persons" would have to reduce job growth thus accentuating the decline in our economy.

Frodo 's list is not giving much credence to the minions of Mitch the Marauder.  Frodo has identified Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, Rush Limbaugh, Randy Moss, John Smoltz, and John McCain as people he can identify who earn more than $250,000 annually.  Unfortunately, Frodo is unable to identify the "small businesses" that any of them sponsor.  Hmmm, in these cases, it simply seems that the withholding on their "performances" would be increased, and that there would be no discernible impact on employment.  Rather, it seems that many of these people would be contributiung a bit more to reduce the cumulative national debt.

Perhaps, dear reader, it might actually be more helpful to our government if we all simply built a list like Frodo has done, and submit it to the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, Washington, DC.  After all, it might allow the government to plan better if they recognized that there are a lot of peoiple out there who could pay a whole lot more, and that the argument about hurting "small businesses" is specious, at best.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:05 PM EST

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Mood:  quizzical

"Professor Galbraith?"

"Yes Mr. Frodo."

"In our reading for this lecture, you've suggested that we start with Adam Smith.  Isn't that a little hollow for those of us here at Harvard who are bound for Goldman,Sachs or UBS?"

"Why would you perceive Adam Smith to be 'hollow', Mr. Frodo?"

"Perhaps 'relevant' is a better word."

"Ah relevance is it, that which guides the graduate student in his quest for fulfillment, or in the case of the Business School, money."

Titter, titter from the audience.

"Well Sir, how does Adam Smith have anything to do with the economic crisis which haunts the entire world?"

"Mr. Frodo, did you take note of the Initial Public Offering of General Motors this morning?"

"Oh, indeed I did Sir.  It opened at $30 per share and reached as high as $34 before settling back a bit by the closing bell."

"So?"

"So good.  If the revival of GM, from the 'stimulus' continues to progress, then GM can repay the governmental largesse, plus interest."

"At what point?"

"At about $51 per share."

"That'll take a while, won't it?"

"Sure."

"Then what does that say about the wealth of our nation, if you will?"

Frodo say nuttin'.

"Let me ask you, Mr. Frodo, about Ford Motor Company."

"I was afraid you were going in this direction."

"How did Ford respond to the governmental largesse?"

"They didn't accept any assistance at all."

"So?"

"They have weathered the storms relatively well, and are paying their taxes on time as a result of a steady profit."

"What does that say about the wealth of our nation?"

Frodo say nuttin'.

"Now turn the issue around, Mr. Frodo, and ask yourself, since both approaches apparently worked to the betterment of the wealth of our nation, was governmental largesse the best course or should the free market have been left to determine who survives?"

"Sir, I find it hard to accept that letting GM fail would have been to the betterment of our nation.  All those people would have lost jobs, and the recession would have been even deeper."

"Unless, of course, the demand stayed where it was, and Ford started hiring people to make cars in their name."

Frodo say nuttin'.

"The point is Mr. Frodo, that an 'adult conversation' can take place when people recognize that there is 'more than one way to skin a cat,' and that the true wealth of our nation is treating our disagreements as dialogue, and not as ideologue."

A door opens in the rear of the lecture hall, and the errant entrant stumbles toward a vacant chair.

"Ah Mr. Boehner, so happy you could join us, out for a smoke?"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:15 PM EST

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Mood:  party time!

Frodo never understood why any enterprising entrepreneur failed to assemble enough land and to construct a model "Tara" prior to the 1996 Olympiad in Atlanta.  Frankly, it was what the world wanted to see in Atlanta, and the tourists would have paid any price to carry each other up a winding staircase or to wrap themselves in green window dressing.  Frodo has supposed that it is likely that good things just happen in Atlanta, because it is increasingly clear that what is planned grows abyssmally more simplistic with each passing day.

Bernie Marcus, half of the dynamic duo who created "Home Depot" apparently has too much money and too little sound judgment.  His generosity produced the Atlanta Aquarium, billed as the largest in the world, which contains beluga whales and whale sharks on exhibition.  Of course, the fact that many of these gargantuans have mysteriously passed on to that big fish pond in the sky is rarely discussed in polite circles.  To Frodo's chagrin it is noted that there are aquaria, although admittedly smaller, in almost ever city in America.  They even have one in Chattanooga, known until now for only the presence of a Choo-Choo converted into a fast-food eatery.

Not to be outdone, even if by his own lack of creativity, Marcus has put forth an idea dubbed the "Atlanta Eye," which is defined as a 45-story Ferris wheel.  Marcus, it seems, got the idea while on a recent trip to London, which already has its own "London Eye."  Doen't this guy have an original thought in his head?  After all, "Home Depot" is just a hardware store, but without customer service.

Frodo has decided to put on his thinking cap, and suggest to the "leadership" of Atlanta that it might really be a good idea to install a big, old carnival ride in downtown Atlanta, but it would be even better if it was one of the attractions other than the Ferris wheel.

Picture the "Tunnel of Love" or the "Tilt-A-Whirl," with certain modifications, for example.  A spinning Tilt-A-Whirl would have puke a-flyin' from elevations ranging from ground-level to the very heights of 191 Peachtree.  A Tunnel of Love, staffed with inhabitants of Atlanta's downtown bridges and exit ramps, would not only provide jobs for the chronically unemployed, but would lessen the libido of the riders, for a long, long time.  Nobody would argue against a smaller birth-rate.

It is only fitting that the true Capital of the South should lead, rather than follow, into the latter stages of the twenty-first century. 

It could be the first step in the creation of a whole new entertainment complex.  We'll call it "Maddox Land."     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:20 PM EST

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Mood:  on fire

It was a morning in the Shire very much like it must have been that morning, December 7th, 1941, in Pearl Harbor.  The birds were singing and there was a lilt of warmth to the Suns' rise as Frodo staggered down to breakfast.  As he passed by the technological center of the Shire, he switched on the computer, only to find that there was a discrepancy between who he happens to be, and whom he is perceived to be in pc world.  The first salvo was fired at exactly 7:00 AM, on the day marked to celebrate the end to all war. 

Frodo's first antagonist was at a call center in Louisville (Frodo was tempted to ask her if she was one of the morons who cast a vote for Ron Paul's kid, but he figured that since he needed her cooperation he'd let it pass).  For nearly an hour she stumbled through her checklist of "enter" "delete" "reset" and so on, and eventually seemed to have licked the problem.  That lasted until Frodo called up his e-mail and attempted to enter another web world.

Frodo's second call must have gone to Swaziland, but the thing that was sure was that this young lady had major decibel shortages since birth.  Time and again Frodo asked her to repeat what she had just said, simply because he not only had trouble understanding what she said, but it was nearly impossible to even hear her.  After innumerable frustrations, Frodo realized that his cellphone was dying too, and before he could make arrangements to continue in conversation with "The Dog Whisperer," he was cut off, with no avenue of future access.

Assailant Number Three was from the soft underbelly of the Asian sub-continent, and she had to be new on the job.  After repeating, in order, each of the steps taken by her predecessors, she had Frodo reverse the DSL cable from wall-to-modem-to-modem-to-wall, and chuckled while she listened to him grunt and squeal as he moved furniture and cables to no avail.  She concluded by telling Frodo that the problem was not with "Ma Bell," and that he would have to proceed with the "fee-based" diagnostic center, to which she could switch him immediately, but that they would waive the fee in this instance.

Number Four (note the similarity to a former inmate on "The Prisoner" starring Patrick McGoohan) was a complete asshole.  She proceeded to lecture Frodo on the lack of protocol exhibited by Assailant Number Three, and to "shush" him several times while she explained that to proceed would require an open withdrawal from his credit card not to exceed $129 for less than 60 minutes of "dialogue."  There was no guarantee that this would resolve his problem.  Frodo also received a negative response when he asked if she would pay him $129 if it came to pass that "Ma Bell" was indeed responsible for the entire mess.  She evidently thought Frodo was amused.

Frodo went back to the well of assistance one more time.  After all, it was now 12:30, Frodo had no breakfast, no computer, no reason to go to work, and nothing to lose.

The Assistor this time was definitely from the South Side of Chicago, or from any of several other ghetto locations in Urban America, but Hey, he and Frodo sort of shucked and jived as if they were Ludacris and Kid Rock.  Frodo was now using Sam's cell phone, and he could hear the ominous intermittent chirping that signals the demise of these instruments.  Together, they raced through the protocols, and at last mutually concluded that since their last attempt proved inconclusive, that the problem was probably not "Ma Bell," but one of thousands of other undiagnosed sources of conflagration.  They parted friends.

Frodo called "The Geek Squad."  These guys would come to the Shire for $99 for an hour, and quickly demonstrated to Frodo that they could reach a satisfactory end to the continuing assault on his freedoms.  They made an appointment, and Frodo retreated to his cave in order to ready the scene for his visitor.  He turned off the computer, after thinking about it for a bit, and just sat and glared at the black screen for a couple of minutes.  It was as if he were plotting the attack on Guadalcanal in 1942.

When he turned on the computer, it lit up as if Heaven-sent.

It is nice to be a veteran of armed conflict on this day.  Everybody appreciates what you have been through.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:09 PM EST

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Mood:  irritated

First, let us consider what we know.

Representative Rex Duncan (R-Sand Springs) authored a proposed amendment to the Oklahoma Consitution that would prohibit state courts from considering international or Islamic law when deciding cases.  The proposal received 70 percent of the vote resulting from the November 2nd election.  Representative Duncan stated that this was not an attack on Muslims, rather it sought to prevent activist judges from relying on international or Islamic law when deciding legal cases.

US District Judge Vicki Miles-LaGrange issued a temporary restraining order blocking adoption of the proposed amendment pending the lawsuit filed by an Oklahoman named Muneer Awad.  Mr. Awad stated that his "constitutional rights were being violated through the condemnation of my faith."  He added that, "Today's ruling is a reminder of the strength of our nation's legal system and the protection it grants to religious minorities."

Representative Duncan, surprised by the decision, stated "It thwarts the will of the people."

Somewhere between 20,000 and 30,000 Muslims call Oklahoma "Home."

Now let us consider what we do not know.

Why would anyone call Oklahoma "Home"?

Why would anyone want to call Oklahoma "Home"?

If you spit straight up into the air on the western border of Oklahoma, will the saliva remain intact until it strikes something beyond the eastern border?

Do 30,000 Muslims think that Oklahoma resembles Saudi Arabia?

Has anyone quizzed their GPS in order to determine if one can drive around Oklahoma without passing through?

Is it true that Oklahomans think the "Magna Carta" is a 16-ounce tall boy?

Finally, we ask ourselves, would Mexico take back Texas if we threw in Oklahoma?  Or would it be too much of a disincentive?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:59 PM EST

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Mood:  celebratory

"Mister Frodo, a border collie is a working dog.  She will absolutely require that you spend at least an hour a day, every single day, with no time off for holidays, exercising her body and her mind.  To fail her in this need, well, it would be cruel, and I would advise you to get another type of pet."  So said Dr. Porsches (an alias provided to he who now owns two Porsches because of Frodo's contributions to his veterinary practice).

An hour a day.

That is a very significant contribution of resources by an aging businessman, not to mention a Hobbit warrior.  The relationship that Frodo had with Lovey comprises some of the finest hours of his life, and he does not regret that hour, every single day, for even one second.  Together, they ran in the early-morning rain, and they swam in waters still and calm.  They chased tennis balls, and avoided enraged cattle who resented being herded.  They climbed mountains, and they explored forests, primeval and restored.  They parted when it was her time, and the light never disappeared from her eyes, of that Frodo is sure.

"Mister Frodo, you write very well, and I look forward to your exploits and your passion.  Promise yourself that you will devote one hour per day, every day, to writing about what you have to write about."  So said the Warrior Merry (an alias provided to she who castigated and chided the Hobbit and is technically responsible for these words herein).

Another hour a day.

That is also a significant contribution of time and resources, but it took a polite kick-in-the-ass to get Frodo off his duff and to put into words the College of the Shire, Mick (the Wonder Dog), the Shire itself, and events that shape a world while having no impact on the flora and the fauna of the oldest mountain chain on our small blue planet.  If, dear reader, there is every any laughter added to your life, or a solitary tear shed in empathy for the most telling of moments, then you have Proud Merry to thank.  Frodo has not regretted a single thing he has said, and he is actually kind of proud of most of it.

This is posting number 1,000.  It occurs amid the sixth year of Frodo's effort.  It also evidences the fact that Frodo has missed his hour-a-day goal.

Like the President whom he so admires, he will try to do better. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:19 PM EDT

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Mood:  not sure

Frodo will rake leaves this day, then he will move fragile plants from their warm-weather homes out-of-doors into the darkness for the duration of winter's grasp.  He will dig gladiolus bulbs and store them in order to re-plant and space, come the brighter days sure to return when balance is restored to the Shire.  He will fill feeders for those redbreasts who now gorge on fat, red berries in the dogwoods, and, for sure, those who watch and wait from their aeries which will serve the birthing of rodents aloft.  Preparation is characteristic in these days, and it is Frodo's lesson dear reader, for those who invite the pain and suffering in looking back while denying themselves the simplest of pleasures.

Frodo has closed two big deals in recent days, and two more hang like fresh fruit in a tropical forest.  Months of self-denial and concentrated effort offer the Hobbits an opportunity to, once again, count their blessings and to enjoy the filled larders of success in business.  Even if Spring should arrive much later than normal, the Hobbits are prepared.

However, the travel brochures have started to arrive en masse, and the deals are fantastic.  There is no discussion of place or voyage that would require sweater or coat.  Sam has renewed interest in completing a circuit of all the original seven wonders, excluding of course the Hanging Gardens.  Frodo still has visions of himself as Paris, defending the prize he took from Agamemnon, and walking the Plains of Troy. 

Mick, the Wonder Dog, stands ready to assist his friend in the tasks at hand, and he daily reminds Frodo that some dreams are best deferred, but never allowed to disappear.  Lest we all forget.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:35 AM EDT

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