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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Sunday, April 10, 2011
You Can Spend All Your Love Making Time
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Bottled in Thyme"(7)

It was strange enough that an Air Traffic Controller would fall asleep on the job, but it got downright eerie when another one thought that was a good idea and showed up for the night shift with a pillow and blankets.  Frodo gagged when he learned that two men died when severe weather brought about the destruction of a sewage holding tank and that nearly every e-mail communication in response blamed the "government" or "Obama" for a private industry project gone awry.  Then the President receives a fan letter from Moammar Qaddafi (Frodo thinks he just wanted to get Obama's autograph).

The Republicant assault on Planned Parenthood is proof beyond doubt that somebody, on at least 61 occasions, has produced leaky condoms in the past half-century or so.  Frodo refuses to believe that any of these "freshmen" were planned.  

Frodo has imbibed more aspirin in the last 30 days than during any comparable period of confusion.  To illustrate, simply ask John McCain for his position on US participation in the events taking place in Libya, for example.  What he says for the 9 AM News is at direct variance with his statement for the 5 PM News.  Is it wrong for Frodo to assume that he could be a winning challenger for the voice-over role of the AFLAC duck?

At the same time, Frodo is struggling with a Form 1040 which was not part of the perennial package which included everything necessary to ensure full compliance.  To save money, he assumes, the current geniuses send him to the worldwide web in search of instructions to his Schedule D (for Duh!), and he falls further behind in completing this year's masterpiece.  Note also that predictions are that 64% of American Men wil cheat on this year's return (Frodo thinks 65 is closer).

The pollen count in the Shire reached 2487ppm today, which roughly translated means that every damn dogwood, flowering cherry, sweet gum, and maple anywhere south of Newark is in full bloom, and they all require the Hobbit's attention.

At the same time, someone gave Frodo a copy of the current Number One-rated non-fiction hardback, entitled "Unbroken," written by the genius who gave us "Seabiscuit" just a few short years ago.  If someone you love ever served our country, read this book, but do so before you give it to someone who may have lived any part of it.  You will understand, and thank Frodo, when you do read this very important book.  Having just set it down, the Hobbit is truly considering starting it all over again.

It is times like this when Frodo really misses smoking.  Anything.




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:12 PM EDT
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Sunday, March 27, 2011
I Want To Put On My, My, My, My Funky Shoes
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Guns of August" (7)

Frodo has an assignment for you.  Please mark your calendars, including the ASPCA one with the ducks on it, for Saturday, August 6th, 2011.  If there is any justice in this world, Frodo and Sam will stand in line outside an unidentified edifice in Atlanta in order to be interviewed and appraised by the "Antiques Road Show" when it comes to Atlanta.  They applied for their tickets on-line, concluding with a plea, of sorts, and a committment to contribute to PBS at some point in the future (admittedly, some may call it a promissory bribe).

Frodo's favorites are the brothers who appraise furniture, but he is not a furniture afficionado, so he is aiming for someone who shares his interest in the American South, its history, and, since we are in the midst of the 150th Anniversary thereof, the "War."  Frodo has some very special and important items, rarely seen anywhere, which he has been wanting to bring out into the light.  At the same time, he has been hoping for an opportunity to mimic the Brothers Crane, and their father Martin, with a high-five and to utter the magic "Ka-Ching," at the very top of his voice.

The Hobbits will be notified in early May about their acceptance, and Frodo will commence his preparations for his sure-to-be unforgettable display.  Until then he hopes he can keep from wetting his pants. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:27 PM EDT
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Wednesday, March 23, 2011
This Is My Way Of Telling You Everything
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Social Security" (7)

Eli Cottrell was a musician.  He was also a good-will ambassador, a philanthropist, and a remarkable man.  The following story is true, in every detail.

Memphis, Tennessee, is not a "place of good abode."  This is particularly the case in the summer, when heat bakes off the asphalt and there is no hint of wind anywhere in the poorer sections of town.  For those unfortunate enough to hold positions which required them to drive these hot city streets, and air conditioning was not allowed because it was a "luxury item," the days seemed endless.  Frodo shared the complexion of the police officers, the insurance salesman, and no one else in those days of violence and hatred.

Eli Cottrell had travelled the world with Lionel Washington and his Orchestra during the days after the Great War.  When his time for travel ended, he returned to his hometown of Memphis with a small nest egg, sufficient to cover the costs of the diner known as "Eli's Place."

Frodo became acquainted with the establishment because he had the geographical responsibility to collect overdue small tax liabilities.  "Eli's Place," according to his records, was a business that was so burdened.  Apparently, the owner had employees and he had neglected to pay the employee's share of the Social Security withheld from the employees on payday.  Frodo's instructions from his superiors were clear, any business operating in such a manner was to be closed.  It is, after all, bad business to allow liabilities to fall further and further behind, no matter who was responsible.

It was late on a Friday, in the heat of summer, and this would be Frodo's final stop of the working day.  He entered the little bar, and as he expected, his was the palest countenance around.  He walked to the cash register and asked to speak with Eli Cottrell, while every patron sat in silence and watched.  Frodo introduced himself to the smallish, and sweating, man as he wiped his hands on his apron before offering Frodo a seat near the piano and the jukebox, silently sitting in a front corner.  He offered Frodo a "Coca-Cola," an offer which greatly tempted the Hobbit despite his awareness of "the rules."  Frodo demurred.

Frodo explained his reason for visiting Eli Cottrell that day, and asked that the entire liability be immediately satisfied by cash, check, or money order.  Eli explained that he could make a partial payment after the weekend, but satisfying the entire amount would not be possible without some sort of "arrangement."  Frodo explained that Social Security Withholding was a "trust fund" for his employees, and that he could not maintain the status quo any longer.  Eli Cottrell sighed, then he pointed to the two ladies working behind the countertop.  They, he explained, were his employees, and their only income was from the minimum wage he paid them to cook.  Frodo noted that both appeared to be well into their seventies.  Eli Cottrell told Frodo that he did not withhold any money from their wages, that he paid both the employer and the employee portions of the tax, and it was his plan to continue doing so until both ladies had enough "quarters" to be eligible for Social Security.  They would each have no other income or support.

Frodo was stymied.  This was not in "the rules," and Frodo quickly sensed that some sort of "arrangement" had to be made, or everybody would lose.  Just then, one of the ladies from behind the countertop brought two Coca-Colas to the table, set them down in silence and hobbled back to her duty station.  Eli Cottrell asked Frodo if he liked music.  When Frodo smiled, Eli Cottrell turned to the piano, and started with "Hold That Tiger," in maybe the most lyrical of environments that Frodo has ever known. 

Every Friday, on his way home, Frodo would stop by "Eli's Place," in order to receive a partial payment on the past taxes due, and the amount required to stay current.  When he entered, there was always a Coca-Cola on the table, and everyone smiled and said "Good Day" to Mr. Frodo, of the IRS.  Then Eli Cottrell would play the piano before Frodo turned out the door and headed for home.

There was a time when "the rules" prohibited the use of the term "Mr." to address a man of color in Memphis, Tennessee.  The days were not that long ago.  Frodo used the proper name of this gentleman every day.  He addressed Frodo as "Mister" from that very first day, too.

Frodo thinks about Eli Cottrell from time-to-time.  He was just a little guy, who had a gift, and a heart. 

Hold that tiger.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:04 PM EDT
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Darling, Can You Hear Me? SOS.
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Number Please?"(7)

"Room Service."

"Yes, this is Suite 1313, I'd like transportation to the American Embassy, please."

"I'm sorry Sir, but due to the recent unpleasantness, the American Embassy has been closed and the doors are locked."

"Closed, eh?  Well, can you get someone to take me to the Swiss Embassy?"

"I'm afraid not Sir, in fact, I am relatively certain that all, or nearly all, of the Embassies have had their staff transported to a safe location, at least until the bombing is halted."

"Well, in my case it already has."


"Yes, I am, I mean was, the navigator on the F-15 that suffered mechanical problems while enforcing the 'No-Fly Zone' mandated by the United Nations Security Resolution."

"Oh General, what an honor it is to have you as a guest in our humble establishment.  I was made aware of your presence here when I came on duty earlier this afternoon.  Welcome to Benghazi."

"Thank you, I'm sure, but can you find a way to contact my superiors so that I can return to duty?  By the way, I'm just a lowly Colonel in the US Navy"

"Oh Certainly Sir, I'll get to work on it right now and get back to you post haste.  If you should need anything, anything at all, just ask for me.  My name is 'Curveball'."

Several minutes pass.

"Curveball here, Sir.  I am pleased to report that I have arranged your passage to the island of Malta on the only remaining cruise ship in the harbor."

"Malta, I don't want to go to Malta, I want to return to my ship."

"Actually Sir, the cruise ship is scheduled to depart for Malta as part of its normal cruise regimen, and the US Navy is dispatching one of its vessels to meet you there."

"Oh, hey that's good work Curveball.  Is that the ship just off to my left out this sliding glass door in my Suite?"

"It is indeed."

"What is the ship, and when does it depart?"

"It is a Carnival Cruise Lines ship named 'Odyssey Dawn,' scheduled to depart within the hour."

"Odyssey Dawn?  Carnival Cruise Lines?  Are you sure about that?"

"Sir, that which I have said is exactly what i was told by the US Representative at the travel office we use exclusively here in Benghazi, owned by a group of Americans who call themselves 'Air America'."


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:50 PM EDT
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Saturday, March 12, 2011
Rhythm, Rhyme, and Harmony
Mood:  bright

"Professor Frodo?"

"A query, before the lecture even begins?  Methinks someone actually read this morning's Op-Ed in the campus newspaper?"

"Yessir, and I have to admit I did not get the point, and I am not sure if I agree or not."

"Fair enough.  Let me respond, first off, with a question.  What is the longest duration of a Communist form of government?"

"Well the Soviet Union began in 1917 and fell apart in the mid-70's, and, of course, China, came into the realm in 1946. . ."

"So, would you feel comfortable in saying that somewhere around 60 years has been the world's experience with Communism in charge of a particular society?"

"Well, it is what has happened/"

"Would you then consider the argument that Communism is a 'bridge' between what is generally a despotic regime, and one that seems to embrace democratic, if not capitalist values?"

"Again, it is what has happened and in the case of China seems to be happening, but that's not my point."

"Yes it is, you just don't know it yet."


"Young man, if, as you infer, the current world order is being disturbed by the 'social media revolution' in the Middle East and North Africa, then you have to recognize that these nation-states are merely evolving from despotic hands, and that, if the past holds true, then 60 years or so of Communism must follow."

"No Sir, this is where I am confused."

"No, you are not.  Simply carry the point forward that if these nation-states do not adopt Communism, then they need some other 'bridge' over which they will travel for 60 years or so, isn't that logical?"

"I see, so are you saying that if the process is reversed?"

"No. and neither are you.  What you are saying is that if the despot falls rather easily, then there is little to which the new regime will commit if their initial expectations, and certainly that will be the case, fall short of the realities of democratic government.  If there has been little, if any suffering, in the transition, then there is no deterrent to further change, and that could go into very unpleasant alternatives."

"Hmm.  Is it your, I mean our, point that Egypt, which transitions from Mubarak to Democracy, at little cost, may change again because they haven't paid a comparative 'price' if you will, for overthrowing a tyrant?  The upshot being that, in the case of Libya, where the insurgents have gotten their butts beaten pretty severely, that when they do overthrow Qaddafi, that they will have more of an investment in Democracy, and will work harder to make it survive.?"

"That is what history tells me."

"How so?'

"Imagine if the Marquis de Lafayette established a 'No Fly Zone' over Philadelphia."

"So your argument is that the Libyans stand on their own, or we may see them shed a democratic system for something we may not like, like a 13th century Islamic state perhaps?"

"Freedom is worth fighting for," so says the bumper sticker."

"Perhaps Sir, freedom fought for is freedom won." 

"Imagine explaining this to the Congresswoman from Minnesota?"

Laughter (what would you expect?) 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:26 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, March 12, 2011 10:09 PM EST
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Saturday, March 5, 2011
'Til The Night Closes In
Mood:  cool
Topic: "Magic Moments"(7)

Over the years, Frodo has developed an affinity for college basketball.  The same does not apply to the professional variety, for it seems to interest him almost as much as the latest edition of Harper's might mean to Sarah Palin.  It is the concept of the scholar-athlete which rises, for one golden moment this eve, when Duke and North Carolina square off in their nearly perennial battle for the top-spot in the Atlantic Coast Conference.  These young men deserve to be there as scholars as well as athletes, and that is what makes the game so very special, at least, to Frodo.

In days past, now so very long ago, Frodo would gather with the gallant Howard, and they would share a common affection for the game, not to ignore a particular favorite in a particular year, but to celebrate the strategy and the performance wrapped around the coaches, the fans in the stands, and those magnificient young men in their flying machines, if you will.  Tonight, again, Frodo will cheer and cajole, all the time knowing that his old friend will be there, too.

It is in certain moments that Frodo seems to remember warriors who have fallen in service to Aragorn, and to all of Middle Earth.  The gallant Howard, he of two daughters, had great affection for both who shared his easy chairs, but Frodo always knew that there was something extra special in their moments together.  Howard's first brought home an English Professor who could define the use of a gerund as well as diagram a sentence with the best of them.  A pick at the top of the key and a roll to the net were terms that left him wondering exactly what language was in use.  Frodo, ah Frodo, he was there, sitting aside, and hooting with the "Cameron Crazies" whenever an errant Tarheel pass ended up in the stands beyond an apoplectic head coach.  The gallant Howard loved them both, but it was Frodo who was "his boy."

Frodo will wake his canine assemblage with his hoots and his hollers, and every once in a while they will snort disapproval.  Occasionally, they too will raise an ear to the empty chair and perhaps hear a cheer for magnificent performance without seeing anyone there at all, just knowing.  Magic moments, indeed. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:56 PM EST
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Thursday, March 3, 2011
There Must Be 50 Ways To Lose Your Lover
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Moamar:The Movie"(7)

It matters not that the guy spells his name with a G, a K, or a Q, especially when he can best be identified by his lookalike cartoon character "Goofy."  He proved that beyond all doubt this evening when he sent one of his sons to cajole Anderson Cooper with definitive proof that "al Qaeda was smuggling hallucinogenics into Libya and putting them into the Nescafe of the young people" (or words to that effect).

The discussion took place in front of a truck full of packaged medication (which was probably the same vehicle exposed by Colin Powell to prove the existence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq).  Goofy's son was there to introduce the capsules into evidence for all the world to see.  Unfortunately, the pills turned out to be a mild painkiller, as opposed to something cooked up in the hills of East Tennessee.  Rather than producing psychedelic results, this medication warns the patient that residual effects may include only headaches, or constipation.

Perhaps that says much, much more than even the wordy Frodo can proffer.

Frodo ends his commentary this eve with a suggestion for the casting of the movie which is bound to hit the malls of America before this volatile year concludes.  Who other better to star in "Moamar, The Movie," than Charlie Sheen?  Frodo would watch those Oscars (and that is really news). 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:14 PM EST
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Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Thank The Lord For The Night Time
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Baptists are Pussies"(7)

"Does God read?," asked Frodo.

Taking advantage of the silence, he then asked "If he doesn't, then carrying signs imploring his intervention would be a fruitless act, don't you think?"

Nodding heads seemed to agree.

"Wouldn't it be logical to infer that people carrying signs addressing God would be doing so for some other reason?"  Frodo was now on his feet, and out of his chair.  "Ladies and Gentlemen, if we accept the fact that God does not read, then we have to adjudge the presence of signs as something other than an expression of belief."

Drawing to his full height, he said "Let us then agree that God must indeed read our signs, just as he hears our prayers.  For what reason other than a prayer would one go to all the trouble of printing up a sign requesting divine intervention?"

"Unless," he thundered, as he spun on his heels in order to address the gallery, "the signs are created for a purpose other than prayer, therefore reflecting a fraud.  Could it not be that these false prayers are products intended to offend, to strike at the very heart of that which is true, and decent?  Doesn't it follow that such a product would be obscene?"

"By the very words of this Court, in judging that which may be art, and that which may rise from the gutter, there are standards which impact communication.  At the very least your Honors, can we not agree, that, intentional or otherwise, signs condemning the fallen to Perdition are obscene?"

"It is beyond our argument to address the vile language of people who insult the memory and the service of our brethren, for you have already deemed that 'free speech' is their right.  What we can do is take away their damned signs, labeling them as 'obscenity,' violations of our true 'community standard'."

"Barrister Frodo concludes his arguments before this, our highest Court, with this plea; let them freely demonstrate their monstrous opinion and speak with the split-tongue of the serpent if they so choose, but do not infringe on the sensitivity, nay the integrity, of those of us who choose to address our Maker in tribute unsullied by that which flies in the countenance of our own standards of decency."

"By the way, Justice Roberts.  You're an asshole."      

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:15 PM EST
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Monday, February 28, 2011
Someone Got Excited Had To Call The State Militia
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)

The scene is priceless to Frodo.  Two of three escapees from a chain gang continue their flight to freedom in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" with a brief respite in a movie theatre.  To their shock they find the third member of their group therein, having rationally assumed that earlier activities had brought about his demise, or at least his transformation.  From across the room, one mouths to the third that evil spirits had deemed that he become an amphibian.  "We thought you was a toad," he attempts to explain.  For some inexplicable reason, Frodo always thinks of Newt Gingrich.

Gingrich slithered up from subterranean locations, reportedly, at the same time that Frodo walked in the sunshine, and the rain, of the City of Orleans and the campus of Tulane University.  As a graduate student, Frodo looked down his nose at mere undergraduates, so it is highly unlikely that the two ever shared the same table or drank from the same glass.  For some reason however, Frodo has this dark memory of an overweight nose-picker with a plastic package in a shirt pocket who constantly railed about the unfairness of the Black Student Union.  Frodo believes that on the day the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) "took over" the Administration Building in a vain attempt to achieve some measure of social justice, or something, Gingrich got himself interviewed by a local TV station as a "loyal opponent" of the hooligans who chanted from the upper stories.  Perhaps, thinks Frodo, he was there, at the very beginning of the Cyclops (played by John Goodman, of course).

No matter, but from the very first recognition thereof, Frodo has assumed that Newt was a toad.  Newt, so the story goes, has a fondness for ice cream and beer, at the same time.  Facts have likewise been brought to bear that he favors multiple wives, as if they were likewise contemporary servings of ice cream and beer.  Later in his story, the Toadster was somewhat grumpy because his seat was too far to the rear in Air Force One, and so he shut down the government, and he took out a "Contract on America," a copy of which he retains immediately adjacent to the lardlike encasement which surrounds his coronary pump.

He also eats flies.

The Toadster has also followed in the footsteps of Richard Outhouse Nixon and changed churches.  Outhouse, born a Quaker, became a Methodist, simply because there were more of them, thereby increasing the unthinkable assumption.  The Toadster has become a Catholic, just like his third wife, Callista (ain't that a name fit for an amphibian's consort?). 

She has to be hard up for money.

The Toadster has announced that he will decide within the next two weeks whether or not he will seek a nomination to the Presidency.  Frodo wishes that Newt could run, but everybody, well at least most people, know that a Toad cannot run.  It just sort of flops.

That tells you everything you ever needed to know. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:47 PM EST
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Sunday, February 27, 2011
From The Land of Georgia To The Gulfstream Waters
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Bobby, not Ben"(6)

Rare it is that Frodo should find himself in philosophical alignment with anyone who ever attended Texas A&M, much less one who has since become a hot-air buffoon on the public airwaves.  Neil, or is it Neal, Boortz, actually once said that Ann Coulter was a beautiful woman (this was the closest point in his entire existence where Frodo considered a sex change).  Boortz dominates in his time-slot among all those who wait for Rush Limbaugh to follow, or is it to precede, while Frodo listens for the next spin of the disc that once was waxen.  By error, Frodo sometimes lands on the wrong station and thus was born the one instance described below.

 State Representative Bobby Franklin (R-43rd District) of Georgia runs in a "safe" district.  His constituents are overwhelmingly white, overweight, conservative, and intellectually uninvolved.  So much so in fact that Franklin has only had two serious primary challengers and no partisan opponent in the decade-and-a-half or so that the "people's choice" has served.  During that time, he has not sponsored a single piece of legislation that has ever even attained the level of "serious consideration" to merit a floor vote.  In fact, most Republicans admit to "rolling their eyes" and routing his bright ideas to the back rooms of the partisan dungeons reserved as a general rule for suggestions from the Democratic Minority.

Bobby Franklin has finally made the big news however, and it is indeed possible that most would have found out about Bobby even without the informational assault provided by the "social media."  The "representative " has submitted a plan to require an legislative investigation of every "miscarriage" reported by the medical establishment throughout the State of Georgia.  Bobby, no relation to Ben by the way, wants to make sure that no woman, much less a medical practitioner, would dare to conduct an "abortion" under the guise of a tenuous procedure and label it a "miscarriage."

Boortz, who fantasies himself as a "Libertarian," sees the Franklin proposal to be an unnecessary invasion of the government upon the individual liberties of the masses.  Frodo sees it as merely the rantings of a loon.

What grinds Frodo is that nutcakes like Franklin get re-elected because people are just too busy to pay proper attention to off-year and other minor election issues.  His parents and the Sleaze Baggers all turn out to vote for their boy, and this gets translated as the "will of the people."  What hurts, on a national scale, is that the absence of 40,000,000 voters in 2010, as opposed to 2008, means that "busy" people give Bobby Franklin's parents the opportunity to terminate collective bargaining rights and restrict other individual liberties.

Glenn Beck would be proud.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:07 PM EST
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