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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
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"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
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"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
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"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
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"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
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"Southern Ladies" (5)
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
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"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
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"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
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"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
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"Tax Driver" (9)
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"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
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"Terminal? Great!"
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"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
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"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"To Arms, To Arms"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
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"Tom" (4)
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"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
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"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Video Thriller"(5)
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"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
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"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
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"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
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"Willard" (7)
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"Winchester Women (2)"
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"Winter Solstice"
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"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
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"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Friday, May 13, 2011
I Got All My Life to Live, I Got All My Love to Give
Mood:  special
Topic: "Country Roads" (7)

Open any map of West Virgina and look for a town called Fairmont.  Got it?  Good, now you're in the general vicinity.  In the town there is but a single school, and only one single school-teacher, for all grades, one-through-eighth.  In the farmhouse where he was borne and then grew up, the floor was unfinished wood, except in the kitchen, where linoleum was used to make cleaning easier.  This was his world when the news eventually reached the little town that our country was under attack.

When he joined the United States Marine Corps, he did not know for sure that there was a Pacific Ocean.  He truly believed that "in defense of America," he would be standing arm-in-arm with others just like him encircling our country at our national borders, keeping our enemies from getting into our backyards and our chicken coops.  Imagine, if you will, what it must have been like when he arrived in California for basic training.

Less than two years later, he was lying face-down in the sands of the island now known to us all, every one.  He heard cheering all around him, and noticed a whole bunch of crazy soldiers exposing themselves, in celebration.  He looked up to see the "second" raising of the first American flag to fly over Japanese soil, less than a thousand feet from his shallow cover on Mount Suribachi.

Earlier, he was "selected" to carry a 70-pound flamethrower, filled with what was baically diesel fuel, in order to help his fellow Marines penetrate the tunnels and the pillboxes that held even the American tanks from entry.  For five days, no progress had been made.  He sprayed one pillbox through the front slit, killing all the enemy inside, turned to face infantry with drawn bayonets, and felled them too.  He told Frodo that two brave Marines died, covering his back.  The fighting continued, but he survived, and the path was opened for his fellow Marines to get off the beaches and into the heartland of Iwo Jima.

Several days later, he was informed that he was being removed from front-line duty in order to receive a "special award."  He did not argue, but he had no idea what the fuss was all about.  All he knew was that he would travel to Hawaii, and from there, take his first airplane flight ever, back to the States.  As he explains it now, the Navy "lost him for seven days on Hawaii."  Eventually, the logistics guys directed him to a B-29 which had one seat available.  He boarded the plane at night, lit up with all sorts of bright lights, and 47 other passengers.  When he found the seat available for him, he noticed the make-up of the others, all of whom had just been rescued from Japanese POW camps.  He realized that the "one seat available" for him was for one who had not survived.

"Mr. Frodo, I will never forget my mind's eye, showing me men that normally weighed 180 or 190 pounds, who now weighed 70 or 80 pounds, who had lost their freedom.  Now that freedom was restored, and the terrible cost of 6,212 dead Marines on Iwo Jima became understandable.  Those were the happiest, most celebratory people I have ever met.  I will never forget that moment."

He was one of eleven men who were the guests of Honor, if you will, at the White House on that day in 1945.  Hard to believe it is that he was nervous, if not scared, as he waited for all the citations to be read, and for all the presentations to be made.  Shivering as he stood before the President of the United States, he felt the gentle hand placed upon his shoulder, and he bowed his head as Harry S. Truman placed the Medal of Honor around his neck. 

The next day he stood before the Commandant of the United States Marine Corps in his office, on a rug.  Never before had he walked upon carpeting.  He was not sure exactly how deep it was, nor how far into it he might sink.  He remembered the message though; he was told to never bring shame to that medal, because it had been earned by many who would never wear it, nor whose names he would ever know.

Frodo has no doubt that Corporal Herschel Woodrow Williams had obeyed those orders to the fullest, every single day thereafter.

Frodo was a civilian on a military compound, with a very diverse audience in attendance, and Frodo watched as the military guys and gals asked for the honor of a salute to or from a member of the Medal of Honor Society.  Every request was met, with smiles, and autographs, and pictures.  In answer to a question, Corporal Williams said that he felt that the "war which remains should be ended, and the military forces rebuilt for the challenges that lie ahead."

That must have been some school teacher, in a one-room schoolhouse, near Fairmont, West Virginia.

NOTE:  Corporal Williams is now 88 years-old, and he is the only Medal of Honor survivor from the State of West Virginia.  He is one of two surviving decorated for action that occurred on Iwo Jima.  Frodo could not help but note, as the smallest and the weakest, that Corporal Williams is only 5' 6".  Perhaps heart deserves a measurement, too.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:17 PM EDT
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Monday, May 9, 2011
I Won't Turn To Someone Else They'd Only Let Me Down
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "Side by Side" (7)

At the school which Frodo attended, everyone looked just the same.  New friends came and went on a biennial schedule as they followed parents to faraway places with strange sounding names, which Frodo has explained before.  Perhaps Frodo's fertile imagination was shaped by his unwillingness to make friends, then watch them disappear as they discovered new horizons.  Like every rule, there were exceptions, not least of which was Legolas.

The ninth year of schooling meant that Frodo could try out for sports.  It was not out of the question for the Hobbit to make a team since the real athletes were housed in facilities, separate but equal, or so it was alleged, in those days not so very long ago.  The basketball gymnasium held potential opportunity for the smallest and the weakest, that is if he ran endlessly and performed the basics with unerring accuracy.  The ordeal began as the mighty midgets formed two lines facing an orange ring against an all-white backdrop.  Frodo looked at the taller, and obviously stronger, one whose position in line corresponded to that of the Hobbit in his.  He was unknown to the Hobbit, so it was only fitting that he would not be very good.

When the part-time gym teacher/boy's shop instructor passed Frodo the ball, it signaled him to bounce the ball three times while running, and then to pass the ball to the unknown one who ran toward the basket from the other line.  Frodo's performance was adequate until he passed the ball behind the unknown one, who, surprisingly, exhibited uncommon grace with the errant pass, and turned a disaster into as graceful a lay-up as the Hobbit had ever seen.  From beneath his head of coal black hair and his facial complexion dotted with spots of Clearasil, he smiled at Frodo as if the entire event had been planned by the two of them in hours of endless practice, together.  Frodo smiled back.

The morning turned slowly to afternoon, and the two unknowns found themselves together in various drills on several occasions.  They scored baskets, ran lay-ups, and rebounded until the very lining of their respective lungs ached.  Frodo recognized that the "new guy" was good, but Frodo failed to realize that Frodo was not an integral part of that success.  That came to bear quickly enough when the "top 20" were picked, and Frodo fell out of contention.  Getting "cut" for the first time is not easy to explain, but it makes crying much too easy for the gender-sensitivities of early male adolesence.

Legolas, as he identified himself, put his arm on Frodo's and offered his hand to his new friend.  He stood straight and tall, and Frodo knew immediately that the broad smile was as true as an arrow aimed at the heart of an Orc.  Frodo no longer felt like crying.  He may not have made the team, but he had commenced one even better.  The Fellowship was under construction. 

Legolas will not remember the story as told by the Hobbit.  Frodo is surprised that the two, who rattle on, even when they rarely visit, as if they had never been apart, have yet to ever talk about their first day in each others presence, and how they met.  Frodo remembers that smile, and glad he is that it remains to this day, just as it was on that day. 

Frodo wonders often about friendship, and how it comes to be.  Why is it that one will be an acquaintance, while another becomes part of a link to either point of focus when a lifetime is under discussion?  It is one of the greatest of mysteries, and Frodo has no answer beyond the anecdotal smile of Legolas, a true champion, and Frodo's dearest friend, to this very day.

Travel safely, until our paths cross again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT
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Saturday, May 7, 2011
I Need Some Hot Stuff Baby Tonight
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Damn Lies" (7)

The endless news cycle breathes support and energy into the use of polling.  When there is nothing else to report, take a poll, and find out if Herman Cain would win electoral districts anywhere in direct head-to-head competition with Harry Reid?  Frodo finds such data to be beyond the pale, and he ignores 99.4%.  There are however, exceptions.

This past week, 61% of Americans polled expressed the belief that Osama bin Laden was now in Hell.  Frodo took pause in order to comprehend the thoughts of the other 39%.  Where, exactly, did they think he might have gone?

Initially, Frodo thought that the most obvious answer would be Texas.  He realized immediately however, that many people would include Texas in the response about Hell, since the two terms are synonymous.  Other contenders, not disclosed in the poll, would logically include Alabama, Arizona, South Carolina, New Jersey, and selected non-Arab locations around the small blue planet which we all inhabit.  Those who happen to believe that bin Laden is still alive would probably opt for locations such as Somalia, Yemen, Detroit, or Gwinnett County.

Frodo has often wondered how many people believe in the idea of Heaven, but he'd never really drawn many conclusions about their feelings toward the opposition.  Obviously, if a huge percentage of people believed in Hell as a potential destination for their eternal recompense for the life they lived on Earth, then surely people would be better behaved during their terrestrial presence, don't you think?  If Frodo knew, for example, that he would be confined to the State of Texas for all of Eternity, unless he changed his behavior, then one could expect the Hobbit to start perusing the New Testament in much greater detail.

Lastly, Frodo recognizes that some in that original 39% may actually be of the mind that there is nothing beyond the River Styx, and that Osama bin Laden is just so much worm shit.  Frodo can accept that conclusion, too.  He hopes however that the worms are some of those grotesque creatures they find residing alongside the undersea chimneys that belch sulfurous gases from the deepest depths.  The offal will be soon seen on "Geographic Explorer."   Admittedly, one could confuse that scenario with New Jersey.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 AM EDT
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Monday, May 2, 2011
What A Difference A Day Makes
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Words To Live By"(7)

"Sighted Sub, Sank Same."--report from US destroyer in waters off the coast of Japan, 1944.

"Achtung, Schpitfeuer."--intercepted radio transmission between German aircraft off the coast of Great Britain, 1942.

"For God and Country, Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo, EKIA."--per Savannah Guthrie of MSNBC, the transmitted audio received in the White House Situation Room from Seal Team Six to signify the forced demise of Osama bin Laden, May 1, 2011.

Did Osama like Maypo?   May he have all of Eternity to give it a try, every damned day.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:12 PM EDT
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Sunday, May 1, 2011
If You Fall I Will Catch You
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "May Day, Comrade"(7)

Change is good, usually, at least that is what Frodo keeps telling Proud Merry and other members of the Fellowship.  At one time, perhaps by tradition divined by Druids, the significance of the first day of May was a celebration, and participants danced around a May Pole.  Frodo believes that this also spawned the name for the now-silent breakfast product known as "Maypo" (oatmeal mixed with fodder).

About a century ago, another meaning for the day was associated with the Russian Revolution, and the birth of Communism.  Not unlike Maypo however, that form of government has sort of disappeared, and the only celebrations are in places where there are no street lights, and the only people with anything to eat are in the military.  Of course, that which they are consuming may answer the question, "What happened to Maypo?"

The last "World" War produced a number of new additions to the vocabulary of those who speak English.  Without a justifiable jab at those who attempted to describe why Frodo should get up at four AM any day this past week, it was the same source that devised a definition of the words "May" and "Day" to signify an emergency.  Again, the only emergency that Frodo can assume for a day that ends "showers" and brings on "flowers," would reflect upon a bowl of hot oatmeal which has been uncooked in a cupboard for the past 35 years.

"May Day Malone," was the protagonist in one of Frodo's all-time favorite sit-coms, that which was identified simply as "Cheers."  The moniker hung on "Sam Malone" because of his prior history as a relief pitcher called to duty by the embattled Red Stockings whenever an out was required in order to put out a rebellion stemming from Indians, Pirates, Tigers, or (shudder) Yankees.  One could readily assume that no one was too concerned about Communists, Druids, or other "May Day" references when they entered a saloon.  It was also unlikely that Maypo was served, discussed, or remembered by any of the customers who bellied up to the bar.

So why is Frodo spending so much time on a subject as innocuous as oatmeal?  Hey, didn't you see Trump last night?  Frodo thinks it will be a long time before he gets the Maypo off his face, or out of his hair. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:31 PM EDT
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Saturday, April 30, 2011
Until The Night Closes In
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Tea Olive" (7)

Magnolia, Gardenia, Mimosa, Tea Olive, are the aromatic components of early memory in the southeastern United States of America.  Despite the warmness of the Shire, which characterizes the pleasantry of an evening darkened beyond the call of another morrow, there is nothing sweeet in the air.  It is as if the senses are truly limited to "accentuate the positive, and eliminate the negative".  The night swiftly comes, and it falls, silently, unannounced, and no one has anything elevant to report.  Frodo looks for the same things that catch the eye of his cat, who hunts, but does no more than Simba, raised for an eternity behind streel.

A deep and dark evening tide, without aroma, is like the brilliant commercial which references a "day without sunshine."  There is something missing when Frodo can stroll about the Shire, and feel no juxtaposition between that which is native, and that which impinges upon the vibrancy of life.  It grows upon days end, and yet there is no call from the whippoorwill.  Perhaps poor Frodo was meant to make his own music this night, and to learn that one cannot always rely on that which one discovers, as opposed to that which one creates.

There is violin music in the City of Orleans, and that was not alwaus so. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EDT
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Thursday, April 28, 2011
They Call The Wind Mariah
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)

The numbers, so they say, are not all in, but inaccuracy fails the relevancy test this eve.  A few short hours ago, the Hobbit was captivated by the choreography of the trees.  He stood on the deck at Lake Lovey as the random nature of the dance was driven by the swirling forces of wind, and as lovely as one shore might be, that which held him to its breast dipped its dancers ever diving like spiny fingers in an ominous threat to his very existence.  The broken combinations of sky blue and rolling thunder were mixed with dark clouds, unleashed on a battlefield that knew no boundary.

The power went off somewhere after eight o'clock, and for the next several hours only the emergency weather radio could grind information about the whirling dervishes of weather that seemed to follow each other on a track that was laid by a plan drawn three thousand years ago on the Plains of Troy.  Nervously, the Hobbit scanned the horizon, and behind and all-about for the first sight of his foe.  Sure he was that a scimitar would slash a path which would end the days of the Hobbit and the words herein would be no more.

When the cavalry of the rain struck first, the Hobbit knew that he must retreat, but foolish it would be to assume that the first thrust would be meant for finality.  The Hobbit sought not the hiding place, nay, he proceeded to act as if it were but another nightfall calling him to gentle slumber.  Then came the artillery of the hailstones, and Frodo's gallant comrades were unsettled, and called for mercy.  Frodo and Sam led the gentle Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, out into the darkness once the barrage had slowed to irregularity.  There would be little rest for any that night, but all depended on Frodo for safety.

When the dawn came, and nature called, Frodo again sullied forth into the daylight not yet fully developed.  He found a fellow traveler who told him that more than 120 souls had been lost overnight, and there was no estimate of the toll paid in their viccinity, and little knowledge about the destruction visited upon their neighbors.  They had beaten back the foe, but the costs were untallied.

The power was restored a few hours later, and the flow of information was immediate, and painful.  Many died, on this night of swords, and the costs to those who would continue forward were akin to what befell those few souls who survived the charge with Pickett, or had been among those serving in the Light Brigade.  As Frodo and Sam marshlled their tactical retreat to the Shire they were confronted with the destruction of the less fortunate.

Their rendezvous, they knew, was merely delayed this day, but that did not alter the fact that they were grateful for this day, and for more to come.  The losses and the lost reminded them of just how sweet is victory, and that it is always shrouded in cost. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:48 PM EDT
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Thursday, April 21, 2011
I Feel Nice, Like Sugar And Spice
Mood:  hungry
Topic: "An Apple A Day" (7)

Even Hobbits require medical attention from time-to-time especially when preventative career is an avenue, and not a dead end (pun intended).  Frodo's medical attendee is younger than Frodo, and that was an intentional move on the part of the Hobbit.  Earlier attention had been sought from practitioners who eventually followed in the footsteps of Welby, Kildare, and Ben Casey; their practices were either canceled or the they sought permanent solace on an isolated mountaintop near Bora-Bora.  Frodo reasoned that a younger doctor would probably be in Frodo's corner, as long as the Hobbit were around to pay bills.

Frodo's doctor is assisted by vampires.  All they seem to know is how to take blood, and they receive a great deal of practice perfecting the art thereof.  Eventually, Frodo was also allowed to pee in a cup, an act which required no assistance from any of the vampires.  Height, weight, blood pressure, all the routine stuff, was secured and compressed into a very fancy personal computer (and assimilated into a very sophisticated software package).  With the press of a button, several pages of printed material, suitable for framing, made their way back into the examination room in the hands of Frodo's doctor.

 Frodo felt rather smug as the doctor marveled at the results.  All of the readings that concern those of Frodo's gender reflected the effects of regular exercise and an occasional glass of red wine.  That is, until he asked Frodo about his diet.

"Diet?," said Frodo.  "Lots of fruits and vegetables, alcohol in moderation, all the stuff one would expect from the Keeper of the Ring."

The doctor explained to Frodo that the amount of sugar in his bloodstream is higher than the desirable, but beneath the level of the alarm.  In order to avoid medication, he felt that Frodo should lose 15 pounds, and follow the general guidelines of one of these "Malibu Beach Diets," or something to that effect.  Frodo was stunned.  Never had anyone suggested that he lose weight, and he was not in the Hobbit habit of lots of cakes and cookies, not to mention chips.

The doctor asked about the specifics of the Hobbit diet, and that is when Frodo learned a lesson.  For many years, Frodo has eaten cereals and juices in the morn, fruit and nutritional power bars at mid-day, and almost anything else when dining with Sam come evening.  The doctor grinned and said, "Natural sugars, don't you see?"  He explained that Frodo was necessarily being sentenced to an existence without apples, bananas, peaches, grapes, or any of those fruits which contain comparatively great amounts of naturally-produced sugars.  "To make you feel better however," he added, "you will still be able to eat pears, blackberries, or other fruits which are not so high in natural sugar."

"In addition, Mr. Frodo," he lectured, "we are commencing an avoidance of white bread, fatty meats, pasta, candy, sweet tea, and many others which I have listed on page 122-34 on your handout."

"Will I be able to eat the bark off trees during the winter?," Frodo lamented.

"You will be able to eat salads, eggs, fish, cheese, and low carb yogurt."

"I should have asked first," said Frodo, "but are you a Republicant?"

The doctor laughed.  Frodo he say nuttin'.

So Frodo is out to become "leaner and meaner," in the words of his doctor.  Sam has been schooled in the procedures, and the vampires gather in the absence of sunlight, waiting for their next shot at Frodo's carotid.  Frodo also wonders if Ben Casey is still alive.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:11 PM EDT
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Sunday, April 17, 2011
Hot Legs
Mood:  energetic
Topic: "Top Two Percent" (7)

Making a point, or delivering a message, so that the words resonate, be it in the WSJ or on a bumper sticker, characterizes the entire concept of social media.  It is now enough, for example, to merely say "Where's the beef?"

In recent days, Frodo has been reminded of the most important words of the Twentieth Century, and he continues to marvel at just how "concise" they are, even today.  Robert Oppenheimer quoting Hindu scripture said, on July 16th, 1945, upon the event of the Trinity Project (the test explosion) "Now I am become Death, the destoyer of worlds."  He did not high-five anyone.  He agonized for the rest of his life.

Frodo has spoken of his love for baseball, and how he still dreams of flashing spikes and stains of grass.  He thought to himself, as he watched the gallant Braves today choke against the hated Metropolitans, that there are 25 players on each major league baseball team, and that the agreement between the Majot League Baseball Players Union and Major League Baseball dictates that there be a "minimum" slary for anyone on the roster of a major league team.  That salary is approximately $350K.  Frodo notes that such a salary qualifies one to assume the mantel of participant in the "top two percent" of wage-earners in the United States.

That's right sports fans, every single player on a major league team is one of those guys that the Republicants want to reward by maintaining their-tax status under the "Bush tax cuts" for being "entrepreneurs" and "job creators."  In fact, Lady Gaga so qualifies, as does Shaquille O'Neal, or Sean Hannity, or even Michael Hordan.  Frodo has no awareness of a single job being created by the favored tax status awarded to any of these individuals.

Perhaps Eddie Cantor (he is a comedian, isn't he?) isn't aware of this discrepancy between his words and the facts, after all he does represent Richmond, Virginia (a minor league city).  He would do well to dwell on the words of Professor Oppenheimer, lest he agonize over the damage he too hath wrought.

"Tax the rich, Finally" 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:31 PM EDT
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Saturday, April 16, 2011
I Can't Get It Out of My Head
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "The Prophecy"

John Hendrix was a preacher, if that's what you want to call people like that.  He also drank.  The story goes that somewhere around the year 1900 he heard a voice telling him to sleep in the Tennessee woods, and to pray for forty days and forty nights.  On the forty-first day, he emerged wild-eyed and told some people at a little country store that he'd had a "vision."

Yawn, thought Frodo.  Here we go again.

The vision, he said, revealed to him that on a spot mid-way between the farms of Sevier Tadlock and Joe Pyatt on Black Oak Ridge will sit the center of authority for a city.  "A railroad spur," he said, "will branch off the main L&N line, run down toward Robertsville and then turn toward Scarboro."

"Big engines will dig big ditches, and thousands of people will be running to and fro.  They will be building things, and there will be great noise and confusion, and the earth will shake," continued John Hendrix.  "Bear Creek Valley someday will be filled with great buildings and factories, and they will help toward winning the greatest war that ever will be."

"I've seen it.  It's coming," he said.

John Hendrix died in 1915.  His grave is within a mile of a railroad spur as described in his "vision."  The grave today overlooks a massive manufacturing facility

Frodo was unmoved, but hesitant.

In 1940, construction had started on a community now known, around the world, as Oak Ridge.  The farms once belonging to Sevier Tadlock and Joe Pyatt straddle the hill where the headquarters of the Manhattan Project, nicknamed "the castle on a hill" was built.  Thirty years later, the Department of Energy built a concrete and glass building on the same site, and it remains as the "center of authority" at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory.  The city itself is fully contained within the area known as Bear Creek Valley.

Frodo has been concentrating on the words "the greatest war that ever will be."  Like most of us, Frodo hopes that this second part of "the Prophecy" is as accurate.  He also wonders about what it was that John Hendrix drank, and where he got it.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:30 AM EDT
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