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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
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"Our Town" (8)
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"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
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"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
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"Sperm Count" (3)
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"Spoonerized" (6)
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"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
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"Sweet Georgia Brown"
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"Take a letter, dearie"
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"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
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"Tax Driver" (9)
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"Tea Olive" (7)
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"Terminal? Great!"
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"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
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"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
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"The Good Book" (4)
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"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
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"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
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"The Second Amendment"
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"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"To Arms, To Arms"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
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"Tom" (4)
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"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
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"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
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"Video Thriller"(5)
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"Virgin Birth" (2)
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"Virginia Lovers" (4)
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"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
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"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
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"Winter Solstice"
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"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Monday, November 7, 2011
You Can Go Your Own Way
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Rules" (7)

Frodo often wishes that he could claim a certain statement as his own.  Taking note of the OCCUPY posters on Wall Street, he was bemused by the one lad who carried the hand-written "We Were Expecting Cake" on his placard.  Perhaps Frodo liked it so much because it seemed to strike at the purposeful center of these street protests which, in truth, have puzzled the Hobbit; that is, until a blind man showed him the way.

Former Governor David Patterson (D-NY) never impressed Frodo very much, so he paid the politician little in the way of homage.  On Bill Maher's rather risque', and oftentimes boring, show Friday last, Patterson was one of the panel members responding to the comedians' calls for commentary on things happening.   To the point of the OCCUPY activities, Patterson had fulfilled Frodo's low-bar expectations.  Then, he actually said something that made the Hobbit stop-and-think (zounds!).  Patterson said that we have to remember that it has been thirty years since there was any level of meaningful street demonstration in the US of A, and that those now so engaged are learning how to be relevant, and to attract the level of response which makes their effort worthwhile.  He went so far as to predict that the message would coalesce for all the world to see in short time. 

In all candor, Patterson is correct.  Frodo remembers the futility felt by all who "shot the bird" at John Mitchell, or "mooned" H.R. Haldemann, knowing that they had lost their message, and that now all that they could do was to fuel the flames of disgust, and go home.  Who remembers the "Million Man March" except for the fact that every fast-food joint in Washington D.C. was packed solid at lunchtime.?  Frodo can't actually recall what the purpose was, or what was achieved, if anything.  Beyond that, it has been a bunch of old farts holding hands and singing "We Shall Overcome." 

It is beyond Frodo's point to discuss the reasons for the futility of three decades, but it is "right on" to note that what these folks are doing out there right now is pushing, and waiting for "pushback."  They have touched a sore spot in our collective psyche.

Although the message remains a bit foggy, and the possibility of a nasty turn to satisfy the well-fed, the nearly dead, or the newly-wed, there are some pretty impressive signs to go alongside the young man looking for either chocolate or angel food. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:46 PM EST
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Sunday, November 6, 2011
He's Leavin' On That Midnight Train To Georgia
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "Chauncey Gardner"(7)

Peter Sellers was a comic genius.  Remembered primarily as the indefatigable Inspector Clouseau of Pink Panther fame, Frodo believes that his film performances culminated, interestingly enough, in Washington, D.C., the setting for a cinematic portrayal which was profound, if not prescient.

He just suddenly appeared, not knowing who he was, where he had been, or where he was going.  He stumbled through the high-crime area adjacent to Capitol Hill, innocently approaching the residents therein for information, if not directions.  Listening intently, he absorbed bits of information which he then used to respond to further inquiries.  Nearly everyone he came upon saw him as a non-threatening nincompoop, and, slowly, he seemed to present himself as one who was both uncomplicated and pleasant.

Somehow, and Frodo cannot remember exactly how, he began to present himself with the cognomen "Chauncey."  He became "Chauncey, the gardener" because someone believed him to be the guy recently hired to weed the garden.  The surname "Gardener" was assigned by Melvyn Douglas, whose attempted translation of doubletalk again produced answers which were proffered to supplant what the politician wanted to hear.

What brings this all to mind is that Frodo suddenly realized there were weak-minds all around him looking for someone different, someone who was pleasant, and who made things seem uncomplicated.  They called him Herman Cain.

At the end of the movie, Chauncey is seen strolling above the sidewalk heading for Heaven knows where.  He, if life does follow art, probably left behind another book contract and a string of motivational speeches.  Just enough so that some people could hear exactly what they wanted to hear, even if it proved not to be true at all.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:39 PM EST
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Friday, October 28, 2011
We've Got Tonight, Who Needs Tomorrow?
Mood:  suave
Topic: "Beach Music" (7)

This week, Frodo was reminded of a tale he penned November 29, 2005, about a young man named Mehamed Gomez.  If you have the time, and/or the interest, it is a pleasant trip back via GOOGLE to read the story, knowing that almost exactly six years later the young man would GOOGLE his own name, and find the story which Frodo had written about him.  Frodo was refreshed learning that the young man had come across "two paths in a yellow wood," and that he had taken the one least traveled by.  Frodo hopes that it will make all the ddifference.

The miracle of the Internet had helped Frodo to fashion that vignette which he had felt might promote a tug of a heartstring or two.  Thinking about others is something that Frodo has noted as a disappearing fact in the lives of those who inhabit Middle Earth.  He became philosophical in that regard when he heard the plethora of statistical data documenting the steadily increasing gulf between rich and poor.  It strikes him hardest when he learns that the land encompassing the Shire is the site of the greatest disparity of all.

The nattering nabobs occasionally strike at the truth, as if there are indeed an infinite number of monkeys typing from infinite keyboards in order to produce all of the great works, and Frodo heard one say that the self-indulgence we experience is what characterizes our lack of apparent concern when exposed to the suffering of others.  Frodo, too, falls subject thereto.

He leaves on the morrow, with Sam and Mick, the Wonder Dog, for an opulent celebration, in the sort of idyllic setting which tempts almost all.  He will not take his PC, and shurely there will be an even greater absence of print journalism.  There will be the black-and-white, but Frodo knows that the surf, sand, guided fishing, sea treats and hardbounds will dominate the days which introduce his entry to the midnight hours of human existence.  He looks forward to walks with his canine friend, who has never seen salt water.  He will bend and uproot shells with Sam, and he will tune out the mindless rhetoric which adds to his discomfort on Mount Doom.

There is guilt. 

There is also the memory of Clarence Carter, the Tams, and the melodic interplay which helps to clear the fog.  Frodo is looking for a dance floor, self-indulgent it may be. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:28 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tonight The Light Of Love Is In Your Eyes
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Alpha Dog"(7)

The story has been told of Lovey, the border collie who adopted Frodo and Sam and thereby re-defined the role of one "just like a child."  She was an adult, and was the dog that should come into the life of everyone.  Secured from the local animal shelter, the requirement was that she be spayed, and if there was ever a dog from whom one would want a puppy, well, that should explain itself.

Frodo and Sam made the decision as Lovey gracefully aged that they would adopt a puppy and let Lovey be the surrogate mother, teacher, and counselor.  Fiona was but six weeks old, and this "runt of the litter," was everything anticipated, and more.  She was so full of energy that she was wearing Lovey down, and the Hobbits quickly determined a need for a playmate.  Thus entered Mick, the Wonder Dog, born 15 years ago on Mother's Day.  Immediately Lovey sensed that this is he who would replace her, and she warmed quickly to the task at hand.  Although Fiona was totally disinterested in being trained to do anything, she was an "alpha" personality, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, accepted his position in rank.

Lovey passed away with the light still in her eyes, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, became Frodo's companion.  Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, became fast friends however, and shared in all the adventures of good friends enjoying life with friends and family.

Time is given to us, and when it grows short, it is difficult to appreciate its wonder.  The loss of Fiona occurred as Mick, the Wonder Dog, was diagnosed with a stage two cancer.  At the same time, Dr. Porsches (the veterinarian who owns two motorcars because of Frodo) felt the need to remove eleven of the teeth of Mick, the Wonder Dog.  It was a very trying time for all, but surely thought Frodo, it would be toughest on he who had never spent a single day as an "alpha."

Although Sam remains broken-hearted over the passing of Fiona, there is a determination to not seek out the gifts of the "puppy angel," until such time as the Hobbits are convinced that nothing threaten the role of the "alpha," known as Mick, the Wonder Dog.  Amazing it is that he seems to be adjusting a little bit everyday, and uses his time wisely and appropriately.

In days now past Mick, the Wonder Dog, would capture a tennis ball bounced off a brick wall at the apogee and turn 180 degrees in mid-air to land facing Frodo and pacing to return the ball for another toss, and more after that.  After his surgery the routine was abandoned, and most physical games were forgotten amid the miasma of sheer ssurvival.

Today, the weather has turned cooler, and the need for Frodo's companion to spend all of his daytime hours on an air-conditioning vent is not required.  There was a bit of a spring in his step, as he sought out aromas on the wind and looked for activity in the underbrush.  Frodo saw it first, an errant tennis ball, just sitting there, waiting.

Frodo picked up the tennis ball and began to bounce it on the driveway, soon his friend noted the activity, and it was as if a light had been switched on as a canine grin and flashing eyes awakened from slumber.  Frodo gently bounced the ball off the wall of the house and Mick, the Wonder Dog, let it bounce twice, and he grabbed it without straining the pull of gravity.  He turned to Frodo, and dropped the ball for a repeat of serve.  All told, the game probably lasted three or four minutes, but it was two friends, with laughing eyes, making the best use of time available.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, carried the ball in his mouth back into the Shire itself, to show Sam, and to give Sam the honor of bouncing the ball about the kitchen.

He sleeps now, at the foot of the Hobbit, and he listens to the magical clatter of he Hobbit reflecting back on a day that was just plain perfect, both for the Hobbits, and for an alpha dog.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:15 PM EDT
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Friday, October 21, 2011
And Don't Forget Who's Takin' You Home
Mood:  special
Topic: "Write a Letter" (7)

Frodo announced this past week that his wounds had taken a great toll, and that he would soon end this phase of his daily climb up Mount Doom, and that said action would take place by the end of the year.  Today, the President of the United States of America announced that the War in Iraq was over, and that all of our troops would be returning home by the end of the year.

Well damn, had he known that, Frodo would've landed a jet on an aircraft-carrier and announced  "Mission Accomplished," if that's what it would have taken to bring everyone home to Middle Earth, and not through Dover.

Frodo is having great difficulty in walking a straight line between his long-directed hostility toward those who made this foreign policy disaster a reality, and his desire to say something funny, to lighten the mood, if you will.  Recognizing the futility therein, he accidentally learned of a new book, or whatever one calls something on an IBook (whatever that is), called "Ten Letters," written by a Washington Post reporter Eli Saslow (which Frodo will pronounce as if someone had asked him to not talk quite so fast). 

"Ten Letters," is written about the ten letters that the President has selected from the roughly 20,000 pieces of correspondence received daily addressed to the President from just everyday folks, who find some reason to write to him, be it for assistance, an opinion, or just because they are worried about his hair turning gray.  Saslow says, slowly, that the President often responds in a handwritten letter and, in some cases, he has even sent personal checks, simply because somebody needed a helping hand.

No kiddin'

What an absolutely cool idea.  It makes Frodo remember Johnny Carson, and his annual opening of letters addressed to Santa Claus at The North Pole which the much-maligned USPS decided to forward to him to read.  There was always a letter from a kid, with not much beyond a big heart, who asked Santa for something for his sick Momma, or the kids across the hall who didn't have a Dad.

Frodo wonders what the President might do, if Frodo sent him a check in order to supplement his largesse or to spread some assistance just a little bit wider?  Frodo would trust his President to exercise his judgment, and maybe he could help those kids, you know, the ones "across the hall."

Stay tuned.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:37 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, October 21, 2011 9:53 PM EDT
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Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Dreamin', I'm Always Dreamin'
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Foundling Fathers"(7)

Disdain is probably an appropriate word to describe Frodo's feelings whenever a political candidate starts talking about the "Founding Fathers."  In recent days John Quincy Adams, the 6th President, has been identified by one weak-minded twit as a contemporary of Adams, Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, Madison, Henry, Hamilton, and yes, even Aaron Burr.  What really begins to grind his butt is when one of the current escapees from a Psych Ward talks about what the FF (as we will identify them for future reference) believed or how they behaved.

Nearly every educated voter is aware of the fact that Thomas Jefferson was not only a slave owner, but he found special pleasures therein.  Few know however, that Jefferson also arranged for a chamber to be constructed to a depth of 16 feet below the newly-constructed "White House" in order to store his wine collection.  Franklin, Hamilton, and Burr, at the very least each made Bill Clinton's shenanigans seem mild, as they cuckolded in every direction, and in nearly every position.  

It would probably be disputed by nearly each of those who would be President that the newly-enacted Constitution was under constant threat of change, since nearly every political figure of the time thought the document to be imperfect and imprecise.  The current set of pretenders have already found instances appropriate to the allegation that the FF were devout Christians and that seeking God's wishes for a Christian Nation was the end-plan by the time of the coming election.  It is difficult to even imply Christianity given the writings of the individual FF, and most certainly the Deism of Jefferson suggests that the Constitutional references to an active Supreme Being  are inconsistent, at best.

It is not Frodo's intent to besmirch the good works and the sacrifice of those who risked "sacred life, honour, and fortune."  It is his point that we, dear reader, tend to somehow impose our values on the facts as they took place.  This leads him to the point of what follows herein, and what that is will be quoted to the end of this piece, and Frodo will offer no additional commentary.  Frodo will merely suggest that each read and consider, taking into consideration events taking place in Middle Earth as we speak.  Understand we must that the problems we face have been confronted before and most likely, to be confronted again by those who learn not.

"In 1785, when Jefferson was Ambassador to France, he wrote James Madison a revealing letter from the royal palace of Fontainebleau, where the king and queen were enjoying the hunting season.  Jefferson told Madison how, while strolling in the countryside, he had met a ragged woman who had two children to feed and no bread.  Jefferson described the vast acreage of the king's demesne and told Madison he thought the grossly unequal distribution of property that prevailed in aristocratic Europe was a curse.  They must see to it that it never happened in America.  The earth was given as 'a common stock for men to labour & live," Jefferson declared.  The future happiness of America depended on giving as many people as possible at least 'a little portion' of land.  "The small landholders,' Jefferson wrote, 'are the most precious part of a state.'" --from "Duel, Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr and The Future of America," written by Thomas Fleming, 1999.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:26 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 16, 2011
Islands In The Stream, That Is What We Are
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)

Frodo was again asked "the" question.  Again, he was appreciative, flattered, and dismissive.  Frodo might enjoy helping run a campaign, for somebody else, but he would be less effective than his friend "Falzone for America."  Frodo might also compose a lot of good arguments to help support the best candidate in almost any electoral contest, but Merry of the Fellowship is a professional and would grab the jugular of the lesser opponent and rip it out of the physical body.  It is not that Frodo lacks leadership skills or the qualifications to meet such a challenge, it's just, well, he likes talking to himself.

Frodo, understand this dear reader, is no Tom Eagleton.  Frodo likes sitting atop a keyboard and telling it what he wants it to say in response.  Sometimes, he has found, he comes up with some pretty solid stuff, and that comes without having any idea where he was going when he started to type.  If Frodo were not tone deaf, he could aver that he composes, musically, and that the lyrics come tied to a tune, or vice-versa.  Frodo imagines, for example, that Pete Seeger knew what the words were going to be, and that he placed the music with the flowers picked by young girls, every one.  Frodo does something similar, and that is why a few words from the artistry of this generation open the mind of the reader herein.

It has been argued that Frodo does not have the courage (he will not argue if the word "money' is used instead) exhibited by those who do run, even if they are buffoons.  One said, specifically, that all of Frodo's "big words" become "just talk," if he does not stand up for the working man, or those who fall well below the 1% level that so many young people reference these days.

Doris Kearns Goodwin has, to Frodo's knowledge, never held political office.  Neither have Robert Frost nor Thomas Friedman, but who among us has failed to stop, and to listen, to what each has to say?  Frodo should be so fortunate to command the respect that the words that emanate from those keyboards elicit.  That is what Frodo wants, to make the reader do whatever he wants, to laugh, to cry, to think, and to come back time and again.

Besides, he could only run for re-election once, then he'd have to get a job.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:51 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Closer You Get, The Farther I Fall
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Nein, nein, nein"(7)

Herman, or as Sarah Palin has said "Herbert," Cain would be flabbergasted to know that the identical pronunciation of his economic reform plan (9-9-9) into German is translated as "No-no-no."  Frodo took a few minutes out of a busy day in order to actually read some of this tripe, and he has to admit that it is even more bizarre than Cain himself. 

For those who have been on Neptune, or Kandahar, for the past week or so, they may have missed Cain's accelerating commentary on a tax reform package that consists of 9% corporate taxes, 9% individual income taxes, and 9% federal sales taxes.  Cain alleges that an employee of Wells Fargo in Ohio has assured him that the plan is viable.  The first problem noted is that it does not produce enough revenue to meet current demand.

That is an easily dealt with problem if one simply removes both Social Security and Medicare from the current federal budget, which is exactly what Cain suggests.  He adds that churches, state & local governments, volunteers, etc. should have the responsibility for meeting these needs, and that how they would accomplish this would be a testimonial to the exceptionalism of Americans.  Frodo notes that it would also require Divine Intervention.

The second problem deals with fairness.  We know now that Warren Buffet paid federal income taxes at a rate of 16.9% last year, and that under the 9-9-9 plan his taxes, and those of all who report under the vaunted "top 1%" total, would pay but 9%.  The 40% or so of Americans who make too little to provide for their families, and who now pay no federal income tax at all, would pay 9% of their gross income (since all deductions would be eliminated).  The result being that the onus shifts, truly, to the poor and the middle-class, while the wealthiest Americans get a pronounced tax cut.  Imagine, dear reader, a person living now on Social Security Disability, who would lose the income, and then be taxed on any largesse shown by their Church or friends.

Frodo stopped reading.  It is, as he has heard from Joe Scarborough (among others) that this guy Cain meets the true definition of "cowboy."  He is just making this crap up as he herds the cattle to slaughter. 

Notice how the most bizarre always seem to publish a book just about the time they go "rogue" or visit with a financial representative from a bank that received a TARP bailout?  Note also that it was Little Ricky's wife who said this evening, "Anybody who buys into 9-9-9 needs to call 9-1-1."

Amen, sister, amen.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:12 PM EDT
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Chances Are Because I Wear a Silly Grin
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Willard" (7)

In the time before time, Willard was the name of a TV weatherman who also masquaraded as a clown.  He became the foremost characterization of Ray Kroc, who needed an icon for his hamburgers and french fries.  Not long thereafter, "Willard" was the agnomen of a diabolical black rat who turned on cinema leadership after developing an appetite for human flesh.  Finally, there has come a politician, seemingly running an endless campaign to dispose of his inheritances, who also bears the moniker.  Search as he can, Frodo is unable to recall another instance of the name "Willard" during the tenure of Middle Earth.  Perhaps because the three are a clown, a rat, and a politician the logical assumption has become that prospective parents may do better by choosing something tamer than that which is shortened to "Mitt."

Frodo has this mental picture of the potential candidate for the Republicant nomination, wearing a pair of white shoes, white socks, white slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a white cardigan sweater, which bears a large blue monogram of the letter "W."  Showing all 162 of his pearly whites, he dances to the choreographed ditty which goes "Lean to the left, Lean to the right, Stand up, Sit down, Fight, fight, fight!"  This frog is a cheerleader, and nothing more.

The rat was a leader of other rats.

The clown laughed constantly, even though he may never have gotten the weather forecast correct.

Perhaps it is just as well that there are so few named "Willard," because complimentary characterizations thereof are few and far between.  Let us be grateful that our cheerleader doesn't commence with "Push 'em back, push 'em back, harder, harder. . ." in his own commentary on the collapse of our middle class-sciety.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:43 PM EDT
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Monday, October 10, 2011
What's That Flower You Have On?
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Make Jobs, Not War"(7)

An "Arab Spring" has given way to an "American Autumn."  Frodo infers that the predictable, if not observable, disappointment that follows a popular "coup d'etat" is indistinguishable from an aggregation of dreamers waiting in line at McDonald's in order to use the bathroom.  The fall of Hosni Mubarak now yields internecine conflict between Muslims and Coptic Christians, and Frodo foresees similarly the inevitable collapse of the tent cities that house those writing songs and carrying signs, "that voices never share."

Freedom is not inexpensive.  Access to freedom has been enhanced by information, or social media as some would call it.  What is not conveyed is how human beings deal with disappointment; disappointment in both the speed and the quality of reform.  What happens today in Cairo is sure to be repeated, in the near term, in all the lands that ring the Mediterranean.  What few realize is, that on a matter of scale, the same thing is taking place wherever there are people without jobs, frustrated by class favoritism, without the fiscal resources to join the "1%".

Eric "Eddie" Cantor has to be the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette.  To hear a politician refer to these people in tent cities as a "mob," is not far afield from a salutation as a "cult."  There is no evidence of rocks or Molotov cocktails in the air, which is not to argue that such will always be the case.  There is a need however to get in the face of those who have dominated the distribution of wealth, and to awaken them to the fact that the people of the tent cities are not terribly different from those who today seek to end the life of Qadaffi. 

Michael Bloomberg is an excellent Mayor of New York City, and he is as pragmatic as they come these days.  He feels, strongly, that all of this will just "go away" when the weather turns colder, and moisture is in the air.  Frodo is not so sure.  To go home, with no job and no prospects, is not what "American exceptionalism" conveys.  It is Frodo's belief that increasing adversity threatens the pastoral umbrage that most take of those who sit in tent cities and disavow "greed" and any or all of the deadly sins.  Making love, this time, is not an alternative.

Somebody is going to do something stupid.  It happened to "bonus marchers," it happened to "freedom riders," and it happened in Chicago, when the chant became "The whole world is watching."  The whole world, it seems, is caught up in the broken promises, and the unimaginable avarice of those who felt that they could get away with it. 

Indeed, as the seasons change, as change they must, the promise of Spring now confronts the harsh reality of Winter.  The Ring has not been destroyed, and the threat to Middle Earth is as it was in the beginning of the book.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:26 PM EDT
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