Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Thursday, December 15, 2011

And The Times Will Be Our Time, And The Grass Won't Pay No Mind
Mood:

special
Topic: "Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)

"How can a day which marks the end of a war be anything other than special?" asked Frodo.

Frodo thought a lot today about a young man once named Jesus Fonseca, who was born in Mexico but grew up near the Shire, and who died from a sniper's bullet somewhere in the arid rain forests of Iraq. Frodo neither knew his name nor heard the story of his short life, but the printed obituary was an open invitation for anyone, if not everyone, to attend and pay their respects. Frodo felt it was his place to be there, and to share in the grief of Pvt. Fonseca's friends and family, going hime.

George W. Bush was not there, nor was Dick Cheney. Paul Wolfowitz must've had something else important to do that day, Rumsfeld and Rice were probably working on a revised strategic policy or something similar. Phil Gingrey, Saxby Chambliss, and Johnny Isaakson, the Congressional representatives, Frodo's sure, must've sent their regrets, too.

Frodo stood next to the Honor Guard, a black woman of magnificent composure and grace. She alone saw the tear in the eye of the Hobbit. Jesus Fonseca was just a baby.

The next day, Jesus Fonseca's remains were caissoned to a little village in the country of his birth. The country for which he died sort of waved good-bye as he passed through on his final journey.

Tomorrow, there will be arguments about a continuing resolution, how to pay for a tax cut, and which of the contestants are ahead in elections to come. No one, save Frodo, will long remember Jesus Fonseca, and the fact that a mere baby died in support of a nation that wants to deport everydody who doesn't fill out the proper forms or speak without an accent. Fitting it is, that in broken Spanish, Frodo mouths the words "Vaya con Dios Jesus Fonseca, muchas gracias."

Welcome home.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:19 PM EST

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

You've Got Your Troubles, I've Got Mine
Mood:

sharp
Topic: "3:10 to Yuma" (7)

It is purely happenstance when Frodo finds himself with the opportunity to stand amid hustle and bustle and count noses, or is that smell roses? No matter, because he will long remember what it is like to look around, in the world's busiest airport, and to just say "Hello" to passersby. When eyes don't meet, he takes note of the physique, the eyes, the clothing, and tries to wonder what it is that worries this person. Are these truly the 99% that everyone seems to be talking about, or has Frodo accidentally found himself shrouded by the world's wealthiest. Truly, the parking lots are all filled, and every seat in every aircraft is accounted for, so who are all these people, and where are they going?

Asking them is not practical. The last time he tried that approach was in his fifth year, when he stood outside the windows named Woodward & Lothrop and watched the trains travel between the puppets on 14th Street. People watched Frodo, and they smiled. They asked him questions, and he replied. "Santa is going bring me a train." Frodo was kind of hoping that one of today's passersby would respond to his greeting with what they wanted for Christmas, too.

Frodo learned today that six members of the family named Walton have a combined net worth that is greater than 30% of all the roughly 300 million people who live in the US of A. Six people. Six people who have more money than almost 100 million of their fellow countrymen. And those six sell things for which the almost 100 million give money, in return, which goes back to the six people. Frodo, as he thinks about it, thinks he understands what is on the mind of all the people who walked by him this day, and who said nothing. Frodo thinks he understands what it is that worries these people, the 99% if you will.

They were expecting cake.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:53 PM EST

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Monday, December 12, 2011

Gonna Use My Arms, Gonna Use My Legs
Mood:

crushed out
Topic: "Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)

Sir Isaac Newton (of apple fame), remarked that "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction" to define one of the principles of physics. Frodo is a subscriber to the fact that most such laws translate nicely into human events. In this case, for example, some human behavior impacted others and the entire mood of the day was changed.

The Men of Gondor give of their time each year in order to "ring the bell" for the Salvation Army in front of a mega-Walmart on one Saturday in December. The event was scheduled as usual long ahead of time, so that adequate coverage would take place throughout the daylight hours. Time and responsibility this year however, interjected themselves and suddenly there were not enough hands to meet the demand.

Frodo was distraught. Gandalf told him, long ago, that his greatest challenge would be to best use the time that is given to him. He was prepared to work from early morn if it would be necessary, simply because the cause is so important. It would be the best use of his time, and certainly of the others who were able to join him as scheduled.

"I'll help you, Mr. Frodo," piped Sam from outside the window. "I can bundle up nice and warm, and if you will allow me to share time with you, I'll see if I can't be as strong and brave as any of the Men of Gondor." Frodo smiled at the thought of Samwise greeting and winning the hearts of gentle passersby. "It is a date," he said, and this past Saturday it was Frodo and Sam, together, on behalf of the good people at the Salvation Army.

"Do you want to ring the bell?", queried Sam to the little Hispanic girl, who slipped a dollar bill into the slot atop the kettle. "Oh, look at this one coming up here." "How are you?" "Can you put those coins in all by yourself?" "Wow, you must really do good in school", said Sam, chattering to the smallest of faces. To those bigger in size, Sam sparkled with compliments and blessings for their generosity. Throughout the early afternoon the Hobbits did their best to spread a little joy, and collect a few farthings in difficult times for so many. "Merry Christmas" was mouthed a thousand times beyond the milennium to all who passed.

These moments were "the best of times." Gandalf would be very proud of both Frodo and, most especially, Samwise.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:51 PM EST

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Is She Really Going Out With Him?
Mood:

don't ask
Topic: "Callista, an Albino?"(7)

Frodo believes in intellectual assassination; attacking someone because they have the cognitive attributes of a salamander, daresay we a newt? For the most part, Frodo operates from a certain level on the high ground, for the most part. Standards such as these do not apply to the only presidential aspirant who is more than 100 pounds overweight, nor do they apply to the macabre accomplice who seemingly searches for hemoglobin in the audience. Frodo believes that Mr. and Mrs. Gingrich (current version) maintain a library of movies and books based on tales of gluttony and the existence of a creature introduced by Anne Rice as "Lestat."

Imagine the caloric intake of the Newtster. It was once stated that he was a fan of ice cream and beer, evidently during the same sitting at the same time. Perhaps he is a devotee of something akin to Ben & Jerry's Budweiser? Given his obvious disregard for his health much less his appearance, it befuddles Frodo that no member of the "mainstream media" has publicly queried him about his "fitness" to serve in the most stressful position in all the world? Given the performances of the "Keystone Kandidates," it surprises him not that any of those mental midgets or their handlers have had the wherewithal to ask for his weight, blood pressure or blood sugar. Especially since none of them appear to live a life of total disregard for what they eat.

Callista frightens Frodo. There is no indication of movement in any of her capillaries, and the pale countenance with the piercing dark eyes makes Frodo grab for his crucifix and to place mirrors in every room. Coincidentally, Frodo notes that the green grocer in the Shire seems to have run out of garlic. Noted it is that among those associates who resigned from the Gingrich campaign last June, nearly all complained about the role that Callista played, and presumably the fact that she was not available during daylight hours.

Perhaps the sorry slate of candidates proffered by the Republicants are merely victims of a little surreptitious blood-letting? What say you George Will?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:37 PM EST

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Saturday, December 3, 2011

Deep In December, Our Hearts Will Remember
Mood:

cool
Topic: "Unbroken Circle" (7)

Occasionally, there comes a day in December when the winds are gentle and the skies are brilliant in blue. A pair of Cooper's Hawks perch in tandem between the warming of eggs and the search for food. Where Frodo has stacked detritus from the Spring that was the Shire, they stand silently in search of rodents preparing for the days to come when life itself hinges on the simplicity of warmth and food. Frodo lays his rake aside, and watches the watchers. It is time well spent.

Christmas lights are more numerous than in recent years, although the exhibits are not nearly as ornate as the days when the citizens of Middle Earth seemed to worry more about things long since forgotten. Delivery trucks and postal personnel are at the peak of efficiency and every customer seems pleased and patient. Empty houses stand as sentinels reminding all that there is a price to be paid for dreams gone awry, even on a warm afternoon, deep in December.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, catches the scent of his neighbor to the South, who asks Frodo every day about the spirits of his aged friend. Rassa, the young German Shepherd who lives to the East, crosses the street under the consent of her owner, and she touches noses with he who takes each day as it comes, and revels in the kindness of those who watch him parade with Frodo down the streets of the Shire, wishing that such walks would never end. Frodo knows, as do his neighbors in the Shire, that the morrow, or the day after, will bring more northerly breezes.

Today however, the bird feeders are under preventive assault, and Frodo is only too glad to fill each and every one.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:19 PM EST

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Friday, December 2, 2011

Take, Take Me Home, 'Cause I Don't Remember
Mood:

celebratory
Topic: "Cain Not Able" (7)

Attorneys, succinctly, suck. Attorneys almost suck more than Texans; almost. Frodo calls to note the performance of a Limey named Piers Morgan who last evening completely denuded the overly slick and sucking amoeba who handles the defense of the woefully ill-prepared "Hermanator". Morgan, whose broadcast succeeds Larry King on CNN, attacked with both feet, and left the sucker, well, sucking wind.

Morgan dwelt passionately on the number of accusers, each of whom the "Hermanator" has dubbed "liar." Morgan thrust and parried, as little beads of sweat became visible at the very edge of the pancake makeup on the countenance of this barrister (please note that Frodo respects members of the bar for what they are, and refers to them, singularly and en masse, as "barristers" because he laments the fact that each and every one did not have a daddy).

This particular barrister was wearing a suit that cost as much as the $60,000 fees identified by Newt Gingrich as the hourly rate as "historian" for corrupt governmental mortgage lenders. It was quite pleasing to note the perspiration stains under his arms as Morgan reincarnated his attack-dog assault on the credibility of an ever-increasingly tense and pissed-off miscreant barrister. Morgan crossed boundaries more than once, further drawing the ire of the barrister, caring not that he trod on defendant rights, for his objective was to get "under the skin" of this sucker, and let him suffer his own discomfort under intense scrutiny.

Maybe, just maybe, there is at least one Englishman who isn't gay? Piers Morgan would be Frodo's British candidate for having cujones (which is more than he can say for Prince Harry).

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:01 PM EST

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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Torn Between Two Lovers, Feelin' Like a Fool
Mood:

a-ok
Topic: "Good Cop" (7)

Jack Webb used to say that "only the names have been changed to protect the innocent," and righteous that is for the real people mentioned by Frodo this eve.

She will be 104 years old next week. She lives there with her daughter, who is 83. They have lived in the same house for 53 years.

The day before yesterday, Chase Bank (their real name) directed a moving company and the Fulton County Sheriff to evict the residents of the subject piece of property for failure to satisfy their legal obligation to maintain timely payments on a second mortgage. Two police officers and the moving company arrived simultaneously. Shortly thereafter the moving company employees left, with an empty truck, and the police officers notified their commanding officer of the situation and their reluctance to enforce the legally mandated eviction.

The commanding officer ordered the policemen to "stand down."

The commanding officer arranged for someone in his office to make contact with Chase Bank. Chase Bank subsequently announced that the action was being halted, and that the residents would be allowed to remain in their home, indefinitely.

Chase Bank cleared multiple billions in profits over the past fiscal year. Yet, it took some really good public servants to keep a 103.99 year-old lady in her house, and the police commanding officer asked that his name not be used, since he was doing his job the best way he knew how, and that the publicity served no purpose.

Frodo wonders what "Little Ricky" Perry would say about public employees like that? The property owner said she wasn't worried, she knew that God would not let her down.

Amen Sister, Amen.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:22 PM EST

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This
Mood:

irritated
Topic: "Ma Bell Lives" (7)

Frodo is working fast. He received a "Kendel" as a gift. He found out that he did not have the technology to support the hand-held device. After numerous discussions with no more than four degrees of separation between the Hobbit and half the population of Mumbai, he is still unable to identify whether or not he has a "Why-Fie" system, and just as he is about to conclude an amusin g or harrowing tale for thee, dear reader, the whold damn thing disappears into the place where one sock always hides when the dryer cuts off.

Frodo and Sam are at Lake Lovey for Thanksgiving, assuming there is adequare space on the highway-system to support the 42.5M residents of Middle Earth who will utilize it.

Be patient, enjoy some football, and see if you now understand why so many Republicants are longing for the good old days of Sarah Palin.

Yahoo.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:14 PM EST

Updated: Tuesday, November 22, 2011 8:16 PM EST

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Did You Ever Have to Finally Decide?
Mood:

don't ask
Topic: "Frack You" (7)

Lorne Green, Adama in the original "Battlestar Galactica," would have enjoyed the sequel, thinks Frodo. Rather than a cartoonish robotic dog for example, there was open sex between the now-feminine "Starbuck" and almost anyone not seated in the television audience. Despite his own deep-breathing, Frodo found himself entranced by the linguistic artistry wound into the everyday conversations of the cast, and the similarity to the dialogue of the reader. The term "Fracking" evidently meant exactly what it almost spells and sounds like, but the powers that be felt it could be interspersed throughout without any obvious corruption to sensitive ears.

Frodo was reminded of the show and the terminology as he absorbed himself in the scientific references to oil discovery in Middle Earth. "Fracking," it seems, is the name of the process whereby oil is reclaimed from a non-liquid state deep amidst the aquifer of the small blue planet. In the name of "alternative sources of energy" the water table is apparently threatened by the introduction of the extraction process. Additionally, the frequency of geologic shifts among the tectonic plates seems to bear some relationship to the increasing drilling, pumping, and draining far beneath the surface of the land.

North Dakota, which as best Frodo can determine is somewhere beyond the Mojave Desert and adjacent to Mordor, is the center of oil exploration and personnel recruitment. Desperate, out-of-work laborers are descending upon the desolation of the tundra and sleeping in their cars since there is not enough housing for the required number of workers.

Despite several generations of political leaders who have promised "energy independence," it appears to Frodo as if what we have is simply more of the same, just not with the intials "Made in the Middle East" on the packaging. The economic challenges are so great for nations and inhabitants alike, it is unsurprising that short-term thinking prevails. The results include, unfortunately, a continuation of the expenditure of fossil fuel into the atmosphere, and a re-working of the internal structure of the land itself which could include poisoning our water supply and all of that which it supports.

"Fracking" seems to be much more obscenity-laden in its current state than as the spreading genitalia of Adama's pilot. Say, do you think something more corporate may have been in mind by the usage of the name "Starbuck?"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:48 PM EST

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Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'd Love You to Want Me The Way That I Want You
Mood:

energetic
Topic: "NCAA---Blech!" (7)

Once upon a time "Tubby" Smith was the very successful and charismatic basketball coach at the University of Georgia (Everybody remembers the University of Georgia, it was the school with the lowest entrance requirements identified on the SAT preparatory material we all analyzed before we sat down to select multiple-choice answers about how long it would take us to get to Chicago by train). Sean Smith was (and is) his son, and he was a very good basketball player who attended the University of Georgia in order to play on the team that his father coached. Frodo thought (and still thinks) neat it was, that a kid in America could play college basketball under the direction of his father and that father and son could mature together in both a personal and a professional relationship (had everybody named George Bush been so involved, our whole world may have been different).

Tubby Smith received an offer from the University of Minnesota to become their Basketball Coach. Mind you now, Tubby was under contract to Georgia, so impossible it was for him to simply invalidate a contract for more money. Frodo was stunned when the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) ruled that Tubby could go ahead and accept the higher-paying job, and move on to greater glory without any regard for the sanctity of the issue that a "deal is a deal" between a university and those whom it chooses to employ.

Sean Smith decided, quite reasonably, that he would be much happier playing for his father in Minnesota than he would be playing for someone else at Georgia. Sean announced his intention to transfer, and was promptly slapped down by the same NCAA and told that he would have to sit out one entire season because of his transfer to Minnesota.

Dear reader, the NCAA ruled that it was perfectly all right for the father to violate the cornerstone of business law, but for the son to merely want to follow his father, it was worthy of a penalty.

The NCAA is today dealing with the myriad issues surrounding the behavior of men and boys at Pennsylvania State University. Frodo, not unsurprisingly, has little confidence in the capacity of the NCAA to maturely deal with issues with a certain level of social complexity. Not unlike the opinions presented by many, it is clear that a moral compass is required prior to entry into dealings with institutions such as the NCAA, for the attainment of a moral compass once one comes under their jurisdiction is not only unlikely, it is fiction.

Institutions, of every ilk, are self-preservation structures. Institutions teach us directions, and often said directions are totally contrary to our instincts and what we were taught to believe during the maturation process. Catholic Churches, Pennsylvania State Universities, NCAA's and the people who maintain them are primary contributors to the moral desolation of leadership. How else would one explain the failure of a college-educated adult male who witnessed the rape of a ten-year-old boy, and who did not stop it?

Frodo could go much further with all that is on his mind as he contemplates the impact of the Ring on innocence. It would serve lesser a purpose however, than the words of the last sentence in the preceeding paragraph.

How, indeed?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:44 PM EST

Updated: Saturday, November 12, 2011 8:46 PM EST

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