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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
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"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
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"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
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"Poor People"
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"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
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"Preemptive Invasion"
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"Promises to Keep"(9)
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"Proud Walter" (5)
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"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
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"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
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"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
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"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
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"Read All About It" (5)
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"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
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"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
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"Road to Damascus"
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"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
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"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
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"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
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"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
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"Science Marches On"
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"Second Line (2)"
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"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
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"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
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"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
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"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
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"Six Days on the Road"
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"Sleepy Time (2)"
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"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
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"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
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"W is for Wuss""
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
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"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
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"Water into Wine?"
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"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
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"Wedding Bell Blues"
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"Well, Duh!"
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"What Mark Felt"
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"What We Have Here (2)"
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"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
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"Who dat?" (2)
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"Who Torted?"
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"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
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"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Ir's Been The Ruin Of Many a Poor Boy, God I Know I'm One
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "He Ate the Olive!"(7)

When the time came for the Hobbit to become a member of Sigma Eta Xenophon at the College of the Shire, he had absolutely no idea what to expect from the process known as "pledging."  He knew only that these were those with whom he wished to associate himself, and he was pleased and proud to be so affiliated.  It did not take long however, for those in his "pledge class" to jointly agree that there were certain boundaries across which they would not proceed.  That fact, above all others, is what unites them to this very day; it was not what they did, it was what they promised each other not to do.

After many sleepless nights, the primordial drumbeat of "Oompah, Oompah, Oompah-pa-pa" was a welcome refrain from the "Assume the position, Pledge."  Wearing only an athletic supporter, the Hobbit bounced foot-to-foot around what had to be a 50-pound block of ice, upon which there rested but a single olive.  He was instructed, as had been so many before, and others to follow, to stop dancing roundabout when the chanting halted, and to square himself over the block of ice so that both cheeks would surround the olive.  If he were successful in securing the olive, then he would be excused in order to observe the efforts of his fellow pledges, one-by-one. If unsuccessful, he would have to eat the olive.

What neither the Hobbit nor his fellow pledges could know was that his brothers-to-be would switch the olive, since it was virtually impossible for any pledge shaped even remotely akin to a human being to hold the olive in the area between cheeks.

Frodo could have rested upon that block of ice for hours on end.  The heat, rising from his scarred buttocks, melted away, and the chunk of ice was but a fraction of its prior self under the futile effort he expended in order to secure the olive.  Laugh he did, when he realized the chicanery of his brothers-to-be.

Then came he of the lean and lanky build who, upon learning of the expectations of the feat, set upon the futile task of securing the olive amid the skinniest cheeks imaginable.  Even with the "Oompah" chant proceeding at a fever pitch, he realized that there was no purpose served by a task so far beyond reality that he picked up the olive and tossed it aloft.  Immediately, the room went silent, and as if in slow motion, the roomful of young men watched as the real olive was caught in his mouth and allowed to slide down the throat of the pledge into a gullet transformed by history.

Despite the passing of a half-century, "the" pledge is known to, and remembered, by all.  Known he is to God and observers as "he who swallowed the olive." The serious questions asked about the wisdom, or lack thereof, which some feel important to the process of maturation, are remembered, even if not practiced, by men who serve you this day dear reader, as physician, teacher, apostle, and in a manner that leaves you grateful for having crossed their path.  Read you the obituary, some day, of one identified as "he who swallowed the olive," and know that each of us has done something stupid, but that laughing about it is what makes the memorial process so much richer than simply singing songs and memorizing Chaucer's greatest lines. 

Oompah, Oompah, Oompah-pa-pa.  Perhaps chanting, and olives, are the items which bring us back, from time-to-time, to the roots of our very being.  Perhaps that is what scares us.  Perhaps.       

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:33 PM EST
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Thursday, December 15, 2011
And The Times Will Be Our Time, And The Grass Won't Pay No Mind
Mood:  special
Topic: "Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)

"How can a day which marks the end of a war be anything other than special?" asked Frodo. 

Frodo thought a lot today about a young man once named Jesus Fonseca, who was born in Mexico but grew up near the Shire, and who died from a sniper's bullet somewhere in the arid rain forests of Iraq.  Frodo neither knew his name nor heard the story of his short life, but the printed obituary was an open invitation for anyone, if not everyone, to attend and pay their respects.  Frodo felt it was his place to be there, and to share in the grief of Pvt. Fonseca's friends and family, going hime.

George W. Bush was not there, nor was Dick Cheney.  Paul Wolfowitz must've had something else important to do that day, Rumsfeld and Rice were probably working on a revised strategic policy or something similar.  Phil Gingrey, Saxby Chambliss, and Johnny Isaakson, the Congressional representatives, Frodo's sure, must've sent their regrets, too.

Frodo stood next to the Honor Guard, a black woman of magnificent composure and grace.  She alone saw the tear in the eye of the Hobbit.  Jesus Fonseca was just a baby.

The next day, Jesus Fonseca's remains were caissoned to a little village in the country of his birth.  The country for which he died sort of waved good-bye as he passed through on his final journey. 

Tomorrow, there will be arguments about a continuing resolution, how to pay for a tax cut, and which of the contestants are ahead in elections to come.  No one, save Frodo, will long remember Jesus Fonseca, and the fact that a mere baby died in support of a nation that wants to deport everydody who doesn't fill out the proper forms or speak without an accent.  Fitting it is, that in broken Spanish, Frodo mouths the words "Vaya con Dios Jesus Fonseca, muchas gracias."

Welcome home.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:19 PM EST
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011
You've Got Your Troubles, I've Got Mine
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "3:10 to Yuma" (7)

It is purely happenstance when Frodo finds himself with the opportunity to stand amid hustle and bustle and count noses, or is that smell roses?  No matter, because he will long remember what it is like to look around, in the world's busiest airport, and to just say "Hello" to passersby.  When eyes don't meet, he takes note of the physique, the eyes, the clothing, and tries to wonder what it is that worries this person.  Are these truly the 99% that everyone seems to be talking about, or has Frodo accidentally found himself shrouded by the world's wealthiest.  Truly, the parking lots are all filled, and every seat in every aircraft is accounted for, so who are all these people, and where are they going?

Asking them is not practical.  The last time he tried that approach was in his fifth year, when he stood outside the windows named Woodward & Lothrop and watched the trains travel between the puppets on 14th Street.  People watched Frodo, and they smiled.  They asked him questions, and he replied.  "Santa is going bring me a train."  Frodo was kind of hoping that one of today's passersby would respond to his greeting with what they wanted for Christmas, too.

Frodo learned today that six members of the family named Walton have a combined net worth that is greater than 30% of all the roughly 300 million people who live in the US of A.  Six people.  Six people who have more money than almost 100 million of their fellow countrymen.  And those six sell things for which the almost 100 million give money, in return, which goes back to the six people.  Frodo, as he thinks about it, thinks he understands what is on the mind of all the people who walked by him this day, and who said nothing.  Frodo thinks he understands what it is that worries these people, the 99% if you will.

They were expecting cake. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:53 PM EST
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Monday, December 12, 2011
Gonna Use My Arms, Gonna Use My Legs
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)

Sir Isaac Newton (of apple fame), remarked that "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction" to define one of the principles of physics.  Frodo is a subscriber to the fact that most such laws translate nicely into human events.  In this case, for example, some human behavior impacted others and the entire mood of the day was changed.

The Men of Gondor give of their time each year in order to "ring the bell" for the Salvation Army in front of a mega-Walmart on one Saturday in December.  The event was scheduled as usual long ahead of time, so that adequate coverage would take place throughout the daylight hours.  Time and responsibility this year however, interjected themselves and suddenly there were not enough hands to meet the demand.

Frodo was distraught.  Gandalf told him, long ago, that his greatest challenge would be to best use the time that is given to him.  He was prepared to work from early morn if it would be necessary, simply because the cause is so important.  It would be the best use of his time, and certainly of the others who were able to join him as scheduled.

"I'll help you, Mr. Frodo," piped Sam from outside the window.  "I can bundle up nice and warm, and if you will allow me to share time with you, I'll see if I can't be as strong and brave as any of the Men of Gondor."  Frodo smiled at the thought of Samwise greeting and winning the hearts of gentle passersby.  "It is a date," he said, and this past Saturday it was Frodo and Sam, together, on behalf of the good people at the Salvation Army.

"Do you want to ring the bell?", queried Sam to the little Hispanic girl, who slipped a dollar bill into the slot atop the kettle.  "Oh, look at this one coming up here."  "How are you?"  "Can you put those coins in all by yourself?"  "Wow, you must really do good in school", said Sam, chattering to the smallest of faces.  To those bigger in size, Sam sparkled with compliments and blessings for their generosity.  Throughout the early afternoon the Hobbits did their best to spread a little joy, and collect a few farthings in difficult times for so many.  "Merry Christmas" was mouthed a thousand times beyond the milennium to all who passed. 

These moments were "the best of times."  Gandalf would be very proud of both Frodo and, most especially,  Samwise. 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:51 PM EST
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Sunday, December 11, 2011
Is She Really Going Out With Him?
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Callista, an Albino?"(7)

Frodo believes in intellectual assassination; attacking someone because they have the cognitive attributes of a salamander, daresay we a newt?  For the most part, Frodo operates from a certain level on the high ground, for the most part.  Standards such as these do not apply to the only presidential aspirant who is more than 100 pounds overweight, nor do they apply to the macabre accomplice who seemingly searches for hemoglobin in the audience.  Frodo believes that Mr. and Mrs. Gingrich (current version) maintain a library of movies and books based on tales of gluttony and the existence of a creature introduced by Anne Rice as "Lestat."

Imagine the caloric intake of the Newtster.  It was once stated that he was a fan of ice cream and beer, evidently during the same sitting at the same time.  Perhaps he is a devotee of something akin to Ben & Jerry's Budweiser?  Given his obvious disregard for his health much less his appearance, it befuddles Frodo that no member of the "mainstream media" has publicly queried him about his "fitness" to serve in the most stressful position in all the world?  Given the performances of the "Keystone Kandidates," it surprises him not that any of those mental midgets or their handlers have had the wherewithal to ask for his weight, blood pressure or blood sugar.  Especially since none of them appear to live a life of total disregard for what they eat.

Callista frightens Frodo.  There is no indication of movement in any of her capillaries, and the pale countenance with the piercing dark eyes makes Frodo grab for his crucifix and to place mirrors in every room.  Coincidentally, Frodo notes that the green grocer in the Shire seems to have run out of garlic.  Noted it is that among those associates who resigned from the Gingrich campaign last June, nearly all complained about the role that Callista played, and presumably the fact that she was not available during daylight hours.

Perhaps the sorry slate of candidates proffered by the Republicants are merely victims of a little surreptitious blood-letting?  What say you George Will?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:37 PM EST
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Saturday, December 3, 2011
Deep In December, Our Hearts Will Remember
Mood:  cool
Topic: "Unbroken Circle" (7)

Occasionally, there comes a day in December when the winds are gentle and the skies  are brilliant in blue.  A pair of Cooper's Hawks perch in tandem between the warming of eggs and the search for food.  Where Frodo has stacked detritus from the Spring that was the Shire, they stand silently in search of rodents preparing for the days to come when life itself hinges on the simplicity of warmth and food.  Frodo lays his rake aside, and watches the watchers.  It is time well spent.

Christmas lights are more numerous than in recent years, although the exhibits are not nearly as ornate as the days when the citizens of Middle Earth seemed to worry more about things long since forgotten.  Delivery trucks and postal personnel are at the peak of efficiency and every customer seems pleased and patient.  Empty houses stand as sentinels reminding all that there is a price to be paid for dreams gone awry, even on a warm afternoon, deep in December.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, catches the scent of his neighbor to the South, who asks Frodo every day about the spirits of his aged friend.  Rassa, the young German Shepherd who lives to the East, crosses the street under the consent of her owner, and she touches noses with he who takes each day as it comes, and revels in the kindness of those who watch him parade with Frodo down the streets of the Shire, wishing that such walks would never end.  Frodo knows, as do his neighbors in the Shire, that the morrow, or the day after, will bring more northerly breezes. 

Today however, the bird feeders are under preventive assault, and Frodo is only too glad to fill each and every one.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:19 PM EST
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Friday, December 2, 2011
Take, Take Me Home, 'Cause I Don't Remember
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Cain Not Able" (7)

Attorneys, succinctly, suck.  Attorneys almost suck more than Texans; almost.  Frodo calls to note the performance of a Limey named Piers Morgan who last evening completely denuded the overly slick and sucking amoeba who handles the defense of the woefully ill-prepared "Hermanator".  Morgan, whose broadcast succeeds Larry King on CNN, attacked with both feet, and left the sucker, well, sucking wind.

Morgan dwelt passionately on the number of accusers, each of whom the "Hermanator" has dubbed "liar."  Morgan thrust and parried, as little beads of sweat became visible at the very edge of the pancake makeup on the countenance of this barrister (please note that Frodo respects members of the bar for what they are, and refers to them, singularly and en masse, as "barristers" because he laments the fact that each and every one did not have a daddy).

This particular barrister was wearing a suit that cost as much as the $60,000 fees identified by Newt Gingrich as the hourly rate as "historian" for corrupt governmental mortgage lenders.  It was quite pleasing to note the perspiration stains under his arms as Morgan reincarnated his attack-dog assault on the credibility of an ever-increasingly tense and pissed-off miscreant barrister.  Morgan crossed boundaries more than once, further drawing the ire of the barrister, caring not that he trod on defendant rights, for his objective was to get "under the skin" of this sucker, and let him suffer his own discomfort under intense scrutiny.

Maybe, just maybe, there is at least one Englishman who isn't gay?  Piers Morgan would be Frodo's British candidate for having cujones (which is more than he can say for Prince Harry).    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:01 PM EST
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Thursday, December 1, 2011
Torn Between Two Lovers, Feelin' Like a Fool
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Good Cop" (7)

Jack Webb used to say that "only the names have been changed to protect the innocent," and righteous that is for the real people mentioned by Frodo this eve.

She will be 104 years old next week.  She lives there with her daughter, who is 83.  They have lived in the same house for 53 years.

The day before yesterday, Chase Bank (their real name) directed a moving company and the Fulton County Sheriff to evict the residents of the subject piece of property for failure to satisfy their legal obligation to maintain timely payments on a second mortgage.  Two police officers and the moving company arrived simultaneously.  Shortly thereafter the moving company employees left, with an empty truck, and the police officers notified their commanding officer of the situation and their reluctance to enforce the legally mandated eviction.

The commanding officer ordered the policemen to "stand down."

The commanding officer arranged for someone in his office to make contact with Chase Bank.  Chase Bank subsequently announced that the action was being halted, and that the residents would be allowed to remain in their home, indefinitely.

Chase Bank cleared multiple billions in profits over the past fiscal year.  Yet, it took some really good public servants to keep a 103.99 year-old lady in her house, and the police commanding officer asked that his name not be used, since he was doing his job the best way he knew how, and that the publicity served no purpose.

Frodo wonders what "Little Ricky" Perry would say about public employees like that?  The property owner said she wasn't worried, she knew that God would not let her down.

Amen Sister, Amen.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:22 PM EST
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Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Ma Bell Lives" (7)

Frodo is working fast.  He received a "Kendel" as a gift.  He found out that he did not have the technology to support the hand-held device.  After numerous discussions with no more than four degrees of separation between the Hobbit and half the population of Mumbai, he is still unable to identify whether or not he has a "Why-Fie" system, and just as he is about to conclude an amusin g or harrowing tale for thee, dear reader, the whold damn thing disappears into the place where one sock always hides when the dryer cuts off.

Frodo and Sam are at Lake Lovey for Thanksgiving, assuming there is adequare space on the highway-system to support the 42.5M residents of Middle Earth who will utilize it.

Be patient, enjoy some football, and see if you now understand why so many Republicants are longing for the good old days of Sarah Palin.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:14 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, November 22, 2011 8:16 PM EST
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Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Did You Ever Have to Finally Decide?
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Frack You" (7)

Lorne Green, Adama in the original "Battlestar Galactica," would have enjoyed the sequel, thinks Frodo.  Rather than a cartoonish robotic dog for example, there was open sex between the now-feminine "Starbuck" and almost anyone not seated in the television audience.  Despite his own deep-breathing, Frodo found himself entranced by the linguistic artistry wound into the everyday conversations of the cast, and the similarity to the dialogue of the reader.  The term "Fracking" evidently meant exactly what it almost spells and sounds like, but the powers that be felt it could be interspersed throughout without any obvious corruption to sensitive ears. 

Frodo was reminded of the show and the terminology as he absorbed himself in the scientific references to oil discovery in Middle Earth.  "Fracking," it seems, is the name of the process whereby oil is reclaimed from a non-liquid state deep amidst the aquifer of the small blue planet.  In the name of "alternative sources of energy" the water table is apparently threatened by the introduction of the extraction process.  Additionally, the frequency of geologic shifts among the tectonic plates seems to bear some relationship to the increasing drilling, pumping, and draining far beneath the surface of the land.

North Dakota, which as best Frodo can determine is somewhere beyond the Mojave Desert and adjacent to Mordor, is the center of oil exploration and personnel recruitment.  Desperate, out-of-work laborers are descending upon the desolation of the tundra and sleeping in their cars since there is not enough housing for the required number of workers.

Despite several generations of political leaders who have promised "energy independence," it appears to Frodo as if what we have is simply more of the same, just not with the intials "Made in the Middle East" on the packaging.  The economic challenges are so great for nations and inhabitants alike, it is unsurprising that short-term thinking prevails.  The results include, unfortunately, a continuation of the expenditure of fossil fuel into the atmosphere, and a re-working of the internal structure of the land itself which could include poisoning our water supply and all of that which it supports.

"Fracking" seems to be much more obscenity-laden in its current state than as the spreading genitalia of Adama's pilot.  Say, do you think something more corporate may have been in mind by the usage of the name "Starbuck?"     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:48 PM EST
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