Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Sunday, September 14, 2014

I Believe in Miracles
Mood:

a-ok
Topic: "Back inthe Saddle Again"

Baseball players have an off-season. Republican Members of Congress never, well hardly ever, show up for work at all. Given that level of precedence it seems only logical that Frodo decided to stop and take a deep breath. He came to the conclusion that the struggle for the Ring requires his participation, so those who just sort of hoped that he "go away" are sorely disappointed. Frodo is just going to be a little bit smarter and patient, and, hopefully, funnier.

Since last he visited, Frodo has found that the once charismatic e-mail is falling swiftly to the Facebook, the LinkedIn, and other communication tools which are giant steps beyond WKBW in Buffalo, WLS in Chicago, and WOWO in Fort Wayne, which are all preferences of the Hobbit's past. That, Frodo figures, is why he has not been the subject of deluge by worried followers who have wondered about the silence. Citizens of Middle Earth do not need the Hoibbit to tell them how to vote, or to interpret the wisdom of some in opposition to the foolishness of most. The Men of Gondor and the Riders of Rohan need a good laugh, a tender memory, or even a tear or two to give each of them a moment to similarly take a deep breath, and thus to decide the path in the yellow wood. Frodo has returned, and he will stay.

Has anyone heard about the lady from Nantucket?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:04 PM EDT

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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Back in the USSR
Mood:

smelly
Topic: "Prudent" (10)

Dana Carvey is a comedic actor who is best remembered for his mimicry, particularly on "Saturday Night Live," whence cometh characters such as"the Church Lady" and "the first President Bush." Frodo picks on him this day because of his frequent use of the term "prudent".

President Obama now faces the miasma of Foreign Policy, which seems to absorb every American President in the latter stages of administration. His opponents appear so intent upon the political that the unity which such decision-making requires begins to disappear even when the decisions are unequivocally in the national best interest. Frodo was struck by the fact that one supporter of the President used the term "prudent" to describe the wisdom exercised by President Obama. Frankly, Frodo wishes he had used another word.

Norman Schwarzkopf had Saddam Hussein in his sights and could have taken him out except for the fact that it was deemed to be "not prudent." Had that decision been reversed, there would have been a much earlier determination that there were no "weapons of mass destruction". Similarly, no one would have paid any attention to the "Neocons" who argued for war against Saddam Hussein, and relaxed the effort to destroy bin Laden. Those decisions, obviously, underscore the meaning of "prudent".

Frodo hopes that "prudent" is replaced by "statesmanlike." Bill Kristol would be apoplectic, as well he should. The President knows what he is doing, and he is doing it well.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:36 AM EDT

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Workin' in a Coal Mine
Mood:

cheeky
Topic: "Pope for a Day" (10)

"Mr. Pope?"

"Yes my son?"

"What, exactly, do you think your 'Big Guy' thinks about the Georgia State Legislature?"

"You mean those guys who assumed the responsibility for not funding healthcare assistance to more than 640,00 of their constituents?" Even, as I understand it, the cost of which was to be totally funded by the Federal Government for the first three years and at a level not less than 90% annually thereafter?" Is that what you're asking about?"

"Mostly, but I'm probably more curious about what your 'Big Guy' would say since the constituents are overwhelmingly poor, elderly, the very people if you will he demands that his followers service."

"There is a place for those who are hypocritical, who claim to follow him, and who ignore his teachings in reality."

"Texas?"

"Close, try again."

"Mordor?"

"Actually I was thinking of Gwinnett County. We all know that God does not love those who live there."

"Are you saying that the Georgia State Legislature will reap as it has sown?"

"Have you noticed that none of them are underweight? That diabetes increases exponentially?"

"Are they trulu that foolish?"

"The mortal sin my son, is greed."

"Any advice for me?"

"Delta is ready when you are."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:04 PM EST

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Monday, March 3, 2014

Cherokee Nation, Cherokee Tribe
Mood:

vegas lucky
Topic: "Jack Crabb" (10)

"One hundred and eleven years ago, when I was ten years old. . .", Dustin Hoffman. portraying character Jack Crabb in the film "Little Big Man."

Ten years ago, Frodo stepped upon the world stage as "The Keeper of the Ring." Logical it is that he comment on what the world may be like when one hundred and eleven more years have passed.

There will still be a Texas, and therefore an ample suppy of nuts with guns.

There will still be a Constitution of the United States, however amended thirty-three more times (predominantly by Texans).

There will be no need for fossil fuels, except in those locations where people consume "long-neck bottles" of something that tastes like fossil fuel.

There will be more inmates in Texas prisons than there will be inhabitants in all of the fire ant mounds in the State of Mississippi.

The NRA Party will present the Official hooded mask costume to be worn by all the 250,000 attendees at the scene of their Convention in Dallas.

The number of schoolchildren victimized by gunfire in scholastic settings in Texas is reduced to zero (given the fact that the last public schools were closed before the end of the past century).

Jerry Jones will develop his fourteenth Dallas Cowboys Sadium at a cost of $1,000,000,000 to taxpayers, seating 500,000, and America's team will again be quarterbacked by veteran Tony Romo (hoping to finally make the play-offs).

Finally, Mexico will commence legal action against undocumented aliens from Texas seeking freedom and justice south of the border.

The Ring, it seems, will still be present as long as evil exists (see Texas, above).

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:16 PM EST

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Friday, February 28, 2014

In Them Old Cotton Fields Back Home
Mood:

celebratory
Topic: "www.arlinbuyert.com"(9)

Boromir was a warrior, but amongst the fellows of the ring he was but a gentle giant. After the lands of Middle Earth he emerged as a poet, if not a chronicler of lands like the Shire, where fields glistened in green rather than in the blood of its inhabitants. Boromir was proud of the fact that his fields were rich and his sword was clean.

This summer Boromir will return home. He has been invited to read his poetry to his former classmates, his neighbors, old girl friends, and those with whom he practiced war games. It will be a time of tears shed for those who walk unseen in the gardens at night, while farmers rest. It will be a celebration of words and music to celebrate the land, and the farmer.

Warriors wait for another day. This land was made for you and me.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:07 PM EST

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Come Back When You Grow Up Girl, You're Still Living in a Paper-Doll World
Mood:

incredulous
Topic: "McCan't"(9)

The President of the United States has failed at everything, at least in the mind of John McCain. Frodo finds himself wondering about the emotional stability of the frequent critic from the hallways of the United States Senate. McCain, it seems, lives only to decipher Libya, Egypt, Syria, North Korea, and Ukraine (among others) as examples of the Obama disaster in American Foreign Policy. All one must do, according to Frodo, is to wait for the President to make a comment, suggestion, threat, commitment, promise, or whatever, and McCain will be there to call the action as "wrong, again." Could it be that the old man is merely suffering from a case of sour grapes?

McCain was eighth from the bottom of his graduating class at the Naval Academy. McCain was shot down during the Vietnam War by an enemy who had no Air Force. McCain's marriage came unglued when he returned from captivity. McCain selected Sarah Palin to be his running mate on the Republican Presidential Ticket. McCain "suspended" his campaign in order to participate in the decision-making addressing the Great Recession (Ed. Note--McCain offered no input and was virtually silent throughout). Frodo could go on and on, and on, but his point is that those who live in glass houses, twelve at last count, need to realize that their contributions, sadly, ended a long time ago.

Four Americans died inside an American Consulate in Benghazi, Libya. McCain and his minions from South Carolina and New Hampshire (Frodo offers 25 cents in cash to anyone who can name the Manchester Minion without searching "Google") have introduced the incident as some sort of scandalous effort to ensure the President's re-election. In truth, none have mentioned the loss of more than 200 US Marines in a place called Beirut when Ronald "Plastic Man" Reagan was President. In fact, the murderers, be they terrorists or extremists, have never been called to justice.

Maybe Daryl Issa would join with McCain and solve that one for us? How does the saying go, "Inquiring Minds Want to Know." Which probably explains exactly what Frodo's point was from the very beginning.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:04 PM EST

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Thursday, February 20, 2014

I've Got Two Lovers, And I Love Them Both The Same
Mood:

not sure
Topic: "Two Americas" (9)

It seems like such a long time ago when the handsome young attorney with the dynamite wife stood before the Democratic Convention and uttered the phrase "two Americas." Few shared the belief at the time, but history has shown us that as a nation few things have united us as much as the revulsion he generated in our behalf. Frodo has thought often of his misjudgment of John Edwards, but he is unable to shake the notion that even today there is no majority "for," there is only division.

We are not simply black-or-white, rich-or-poor, liberal-or-conservative, relgious-or humanistic, rather we are some of all of these. We are closer akin to the Italian Parliament and its multitude of parties unable to obtain a consensus on any issue, destined to grow increasingly frustrated with one another, facing governmental gridlock.

In the 2012 Presidential Election, nary a single electoral district in the State of West Virginia registered a majority for the eventual winner, President Barack Obama. Since that time, West Virginia has aired the belief of the citizenry that they have no need of the "big" government in Washington. Things, it seems, go better (even in West Virginia) when the "best" government is the smallest.

That is until somebody notes the fact that things are not going better with either coke (as in coal) or Koch (as in brothers). Today continues the tortorous amalgam in which the State of West Virginia has shown itself to be absolutely and totally incompetent when it comes to determining the safety of the public water supply. A previously unknown Governor (at least to Frodo) has exhibited the fact that only the "big" national government has sufficient resources and technical capacity to allow people to bathe in or consume the water supply of the capital city, Charleston.. The citizenry has no alternative but to seek the help of those whom they verbally chastize at every turn.

Frodo hopes that the "big" government does step up to the plate, without fanfare, and delivers for the health and safety of his fellow citizens. We are, after all, "not the red states, not the blue states, but the United States. . ." and maybe the people of West Virginia paid attention this time. They need, like Frodo, to recognize when lied to, to say "thank you" to those who pull them out of the fire, and to mean it.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:28 PM EST

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Sunday, February 16, 2014

Old Grey Federales Say 'We coulda had them any day'
Mood:

quizzical
Topic: "Thriller" (9)

Recently, Frodo read a book entitled "Turn Right at Machu Picchu." The book was written by a social scientist from Yale University near the 100th anniversary of the "re-discovery" of the fabled ruins in the Andes. Frodo learned that the first "re-discovery" took place in 1911 in an expedition headed by an earlier social scientist from Yale University. The 2011 re-discovery was formulated in order to update and expand access to the ruins, and to identify the items purloined at the initial "re-discovery" which should legitimately be returned to the Government of Peru. Note that this effort was not predominantly gratuitous, it was the realization by Yale that Peru could sue the shit out of them for stealing historical artifacts.

Enough about the book itself, Frodo's commentary herein deals with a single incident highlighting the changing global environment, and important because it made Frodo laugh out loud.

The Anglos heading the 2011 expedition were accompanied by a number of ancestral Incas who knew the countryside intimately, and who could garner locations from old maps and pictographs. One evening, while assembled around a warming fire, consuming goodly amounts of locally-brewed beverages, one of the Incas asked of the Anglos "Say, where are you guys from?"

One of the Anglos responded saying "We live in New York."

The Incas stared at one another, and silence prevailed.

Eventually, another Anglo realized that the Incas had no idea where or what New York was, so he said "We are from the United States of America."

Again, the response was met by blank stares and silence.

The expedition leader took charge and said "We are from up North."

"Oh," responded one of the Incas, who now realized that these guys were from someplace that if one walked far enough headed North that eventually one would reach their village. Things apparently then settled down into a continuation of the libation consumption. That is, until the original questioner asked

"Is it true that Michael Jackson is dead?"

Frodo has decided that when next he visits a remote location of Middle Earth, such as Mount Storm, that he will wear but one glove and practice his version of the Moon Walk beforehand.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:00 PM EST

Updated: Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:06 PM EST

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Friday, February 14, 2014

There's a Kind of Hush All Over The World
Mood:

accident prone
Topic: "501 (c)(4)"

Explaining tax law to a hobbit is akin to teaching a cat to fetch; it is not worth the time. The issue that has returned Frodo to the keyboard however requires a little, very little I say, knowledge of tax law, if only to put thee, dear reader, on a par with the fools around you.

About a hundred years ago, the tax men at the National Revenue were charged by the Congress of the United States with the responsibility to ensure that certain tax-exempt organizations utilized the revenue received exclusively for the purposes specified. If the money was supposed to support the Salvation Army for example, then the tax guys made sure that was the case, and that none of the money would be used to benefit somebody else.

Okay so far?

In 1959, amid the Eisenhower Administration, somebody, and "somebody" is used because nobody actually knpws who, basically changed the wording of the responsibility without either telling anybody or seeking legislative approval. The word "exclusively" (as utilized above) was replaced by the word "primarily." The effect being, ever since that change was made, the tax men have for example, accepted the tax exempt return of the Salvation Army if the revenue collected was "primarily" for Salvation Army purposes, even if some of the revenue was used for other purposes, say like political contributions.

The point being that those instructions to the Revnue Department, ever since 1959, have been and are, illegal.

The effect of what has taken place is still not clear, since our elected representatives are only recently even aware of the "problem." This may explain why you haven't heard much from Congressman Daryl Issa (R-CA) regarding the "scandal" at the IRS of late. From all appearances, it seems quixotic, at best, that Republicans would seek to pursue an investigation that failed to include the source of the problem itself. It would be interesting, to say the least, just how much of that "primarily" money went into Republocan coffers, don't ya think?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:57 PM EST

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Friday, December 20, 2013

19th Nervous Breakdown
Mood:

a-ok
Topic: "Falling Apart" (9)

It is more than likely that Frodo will maintain a level of silence throughout the remainder of the year of our Lord, 2013. President Obama just concluded his "final" press conference for the year, and is winging his way to his home state for rest and recreation. The Congress of the United States, as if anybody cared, has gone into recess, again, and is doing whatever it is that failures do day in and day out. Frodo's favorite athletic teams are out of contention for any recognition. His aches and pains grow increasingly bothersome, leaving him with a sense of anxiety that just maybe the planned surgical promises may not be kept. Times, it seems, could be better for the Hobbit.

There is a backlog to his reading which will be the subject of a weeklong jihad. The temperatures in the swamps and beaches are approaching 80, and there is no forecast of precipitation, of any kind. Dandy and Tess seem to sense that they are about to return to the place with all that untouchable water amid the endless shoreline. Sam looks haggard, and needs the rest amid concerns about the wounded Frodo. Sam's sister, who seems to be an eternal case of bronchitis, accompanies the Hobbits and passes her cough in the direction of our wounded warrior.

Frodo's biggest challenge will be a meaningfully inexpensive Christmas present for Sam. Recognizing the fact that the Hobbits do indeed have "everything," sad experience has taught him that something personal and thoughtful is expected (One year, Frodo assembled 10 or 12 boxes of tea which addressed a partcularly bleak winter not so long ago). If the situation were reversed, Frodo would hope for a tee shirt carrying the Spanish words "El Oso Blanco," hardly appropriate for Sam, which identifies the new slugging hero of Frodo's gallant Braves.

Frodo rang the bell again for the benefit of the army with salvation in its heart. Dear friends throughout Middle Earth contributed in his memory, telling unidentified exasperated volunteers that they were there "For Frodo." Despite the anxieties and the disappointments, Frodo always finds an opportunity to smile at the little touch of consternation which he brings to those who never take him too seriously. That, and a toddy or two.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:35 PM EST

Updated: Friday, December 20, 2013 4:39 PM EST

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