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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Her Lips Are Like a Volcano When It's Hot
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
There are nights when Frodo has dreamed about the languor of magnolia and its' aromatic presence on a hot summer evening. Sometimes the wild mimosa enjoins its' presence, and coupled with a sprig of mint that touches the nose as the head is tilted back, the beads of sweat and the buzzing tiger mosquitos are overlooked by memory. That is unless one is actually experiencing all of that, rather than dreaming about it. At that point one might actually begin to wonder what the gardens of the Shire would be like dressed in a gown of snow.

Frodo is a Southern Hobbit. The smells and tastes of the Shire affect Frodo as did those of Mississippi for William Faulkner and Willie Morris, Alabama for Harper Lee and Truman Capote, and the Georgia of Ferrol Sams and Flannery O'Connor. Condi Rice is of the neighborhood too, and seemingly driven in her ambition by the same experiences. Her mercurial rise to the highest position ever attained by a black female in any Presidential administration is a source of pride to all who have experienced the same smells and the same tastes.

Southern writers have been sexual deviants, alcoholics, social misfits, and journalists. Perhaps descriptions of life on a riverbank, or sex on sheets wetted against the heat, require an attention to detail that comes from experience. Similarly, for one involved in sensitive negotiations between warring factions, it may be that the naivete bred by success after success in life sets one up for colossal failure. The detail required is absent when one has not experienced the vagaries of treacherous relationships with friends or enemies.

Today, Condi Rice was filmed playing "kissy face" with the Israeli Defense Minister, a full eight hours after the Israelis had bombed the City of Qana in Lebanon. Rice was not aware when she went to the meeting, nor was she informed by her Israeli hosts, that many innocents had been killed, including dozens of children. The Arab world is outraged, all of the "allies" of the United States have issued condemnations of the Israeli action, and the United Nations is standing on the high ground looking down on the United States. The Prime Minister of Lebanon has refused, for now, to meet with Rice.

Frodo likens what happened to the Secretary of State to a case of rectal rape. The Israelis realized that the bombing was a mistake, but they could not risk losing the apparent blessing of the Bush Administration. Recognizing the history of Rice, and her "husb," in being unprepared, they held their scheduled meeting with Rice as if nothing had happened. While she stood there, shaking hands and smiling, with the Israeli Defense Minister, CNN and Faux News were with all the rest of the media who were broadcasting the bodies wrapped in plastic.

Now that she knows that she has been taken advantage of, she is thinking about coming home. Maybe she ought to take the bus. She could open a window and maybe she'd start smelling the coffee. Until then, she's just one more loose lug nut on a vehicle careening out of control, heading toward a very deep ditch.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:44 PM EDT
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Thursday, July 27, 2006
Every Time I Try to Tell You, The Words Just Come Out Wrong
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Well Laura," he drawled, "here it is, almost August again, and time for our month-long vacation on the ranch. Ummm Ummm, I can almost taste the hot dogs and freedom fries."

"George W. Armstrong Custer Bush, do you think we really ought to spend so much time away from your job?"

"Darlin', you know that the Congress shuts down and them boys go out to get money and to play kissy-face back home. The newsboys go on vacations, re-runs are on the tube. Shoot, even the Supremes disappear until October, so why shouldn't we go and catch up on some of the important stuff we have to do around the ranch?"

"Well, you remember what happened last time? There we were flyin' back home after that awful Hurricane, and all those reporters were there taking your picture looking down on the floodwaters in New Orleans."

"I know, but Brownie's not around to screw up anything like that this time, and Snow-Job has replaced the little bald guy. Say what was his name, anyway? Snow-Job will put all the newsboys in a separate plane and pipe in the Faux News Channel to them all day. They'll sleep like babies, no matter what happens."

"I swear George, you ought to remember all that happened in August of 2001 while we were on vacation. That nasty bunch on the 9/11 Commission almost got you to admit that you weren't paying attention to the threats while you were on vacation for an entire month."

"Yeah we were kinda lucky that they allowed me and Dick to testify together, in secret, 'bout all that stuff. But you gotta admit Laura, that was probably the best thing for all of us, it got us re-elected."

"George, why don't we do something different this August? Just the two of us! We'll go somewhere exotic and . . ."

"Exotic? What are you tryin' to do, look like Monica Lavvinsky or somethin'?"

"I meant someplace exciting, not something dirty. You know, like maybe to Australia, or to Scotland?"

"You mean where the men wear them little dresses?"

"Kilts, George."

"Kilts, Schmilts. I'm jes' lookin' forward to cuttin' some brush, ridin' my mountain bike, and maybe tippin' a few for old times sake."

"Same old story, eh? You tip a few for three weeks, and then you have to spend a week de-toxifying."

"Now darlin', you know I've been under a lot of pressure, and the American people want their President to relax and have some time to ponder the great issues of our time."

"And what do you propose that I do while you're having the exact same vacation again?"

"Well what did you do last year?"

"You mean you don't remember?"

"Oh sure, I remember, I remember. I remember everything. You think that crazy old hippie Mother will be camped out front again?"

"George, what are you going to do if this stuff in the Middle East blows up big time?"

"Now Laura, Dick and Condi can handle all that. Condi will go anywhere, any time, whenever I need her, as long as they sell women's shoes in the town. And Dick, Dick has promised me he won't even drink a beer while I'm gone, and his buddy Novack will be on vacation, so he won't have anybody to even talk to."

"Well, it's no use arguing, since you've got your mind made up, as usual. I guess I'll call the girls and see if they can't come and spend a few days with us."

"Girls? What girls?"

"Your daughters damn you, or have you forgotten them, too?"

"Oh no, I remember, I remember. Wasn't one of them kinda sensitive about me givin' her a neck rub a week or so ago?"

"That was the Prime Minister of Germany."


Frodo interrupts this episode of "As the White House Turns," for it is time for the President's nap, and Mrs. Bush has to see to the packing. Join us next time when Laura finds the bottles of Jim Beam in the doomsday briefcase.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:24 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, July 27, 2006 9:41 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Some People Call Me The Gangster of Love
Mood:  suave
Topic: "Lean and Hungry " (2)

Within an hour Johnny Babb would lie dead on the floor, slain by the hand of Frodo.  Not that Babb was such a terrible fellow, rather the scene had been scripted long before either of the young Hobbits had trod the stage of Middle Earth.  For this was the tenth year of learning, in which words were enacted in much the same manner as when, in the fourth year,  they had been taught to multiply.   Babb was a very regal Julius Caesar and Frodo his noble Brutus.

The remainder of the cast were undistinguished since they remain anonymous for purposes of recall.  They all sat in their seats and followed along with those in front who read their assigned roles.  The reading of Shakespeare's  "Julius Caesar" in Tenth Grade English was a routine followed annually in the Shire, and Frodo rose to the occasion with high enthusiasm.   The ancient words seemed to come alive for Frodo, and he glided through as if the dialogue had been drawn for him.  Babb was a formidable assistant   Even the teacher was caught up in how well the class involved itself in the classical text.  Frodo remembered the smile of Janet Perry who watched him from her desk in the front row.

Shortly after Caesar spake of Cassius as "having a lean and hungry look," the conspirators struck, one-by-one, and Caesar slumped toward the floor and raised his weakening eyes to meet the intensity of Frodo, preparing to strike the final blow.  Babb, unfamiliar as he was with Latin, blew the lines when he stated "Eat Two, Brute." 

The class erupted in laughter, and Babb's pale complexion reddened to match his full head of hair.  Frodo paused while all around him tried to regain their composure.  When, at last, all was silent, Frodo proceeded and brought the life on stage of Johnny Babb to a well-deserved conclusion.

In the days to come Frodo started, on his own, to read many more of those plays.  As time passed, he learned that others in his class had done likewise.   When the end of the school year arrived, and the ritual of autographing each other's Annuals took place, he noted that Janet Perry had written something special, just for him.  She remarked that he had been "a darn good Brutus." 

The next year, Frodo took little Janet Perry to the Junior-Senior Prom.  A year later they would part, and go in entirely different directions.  Such, Frodo supposes, is why art and life are mirrors upon each other.

Little Janet Perry is now a grandmother.






Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:56 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I'd Change Those Sad Rags Into Glad Rags If I Could
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
There is one very incontrovertible fact about the national political scene today, and that is that the Republicans are in charge. The President, George W. Armstrong Custer Bush, is a Republican. Both the Senate and the House of Representatives hold Republican majorities. The Supreme Court, also, has more Justices appointed by Republicans than those appointed by a Democratic President. Frodo believes that it would logically follow that there would be a singleness of purpose, unanimity if you will, on an agenda if not on indiviudal pieces of legislation.

As Johnny Carson might have said, "Incorrecto, Camel's Breath."

A few days ago, Frodo was reminded of the miasma of partisan politics by elected representatives with conflicting "special interests." The Senate Finance Committee approved a bill directing the IRS to make electronic tax filing through its' Web site. This would allow individuals, within the next three years, to file tax returns by computer without buying commercial software or paying a professional tax preparer to do so in their behalf. In and of itself, a very noble-sounding effort to make tax filing both easier and less costly for the consumer.

The problem is that the foregoing action is the exact opposite direction taken by the House of Representatives earlier this year when they voted to PROHIBIT the IRS from developing or providing free electronic tax preparation or filing services for individuals.

As Joan Rivers might have said on The Johnny Carson Show, "Can We Talk?"

Frodo offers the following as a taxing mental exercise dear reader, see if you can guess where certain organizations may have directed campaign contributions in the past year?

The makers of the software program "Turbo Tax."

The tax preparation firm "H&R Block."

What about The United States Postal Service?

For whom do these characters work, and why do we tolerate them?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:21 PM EDT
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Monday, July 24, 2006
I Am So Close To You
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
Orcs are not the only creatures disdained by Frodo. Evil wizards and their followers are the creators of the Orcs, so Frodo watches them very closely. Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, is listed by nearly every imaginable source as among the greatest despots who has ever lived. Frodo has referred to him previously for his refusal to even acknowledge the existence of the AIDS virus in the nation he rules. The suffering for which he is responsible makes Saddam Hussein look like a poster child for the March of Dimes. Frodo asks, dear reader, that one consider the motivational source for the latest of Mugabe's travesties.

Zimbabwe's Parliament will debate proposals in August to empower the "secret police" to eavesdrop on mail, e-mail, and phones without the approval of any court whatsoever. Mugabe denies any sinister intent, saying simply that "it is putting anti-terrorism legislation in line with international practice." Frodo is having a hard time identifying Zimbabwe's participation on the front lines of the War on Terror. It is very clear however, from whom Mr. Mugabe is copying his defense of potential criticism. Perhaps Karl Rove is advising Mr. Mugabe when he's not sharing secrets with Robert Novak?

Times are very hard for the people of Zimbabwe, and in most of Equitorial Africa. The United States of America has severely reduced the amount of humanitarian aid to this part of our small blue planet, get this, in the last four years. How ironic is it that a despot uses the shining "Lady of Liberty" as his model in order to restrict the freedom of his people? Doesn't really say much for the theory of spreading democracy around the world, does it? How very tragic that so much suffering falls back on the fact that George W. Armstrong Custer Bush doesn't have a clue.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:36 PM EDT
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Thursday, July 20, 2006
The Face of Change, Ch- Ch- Ch- Changes Everyone
Mood:  incredulous

"Mister Frodo, can you expand upon your thesis which, if I'm reading it correctly, seems to be entitled in a rather banal manner as "Bush, and Other Bullshit?"

Frodo was nervous. The oral exams are the culmination of the years of study leading to a doctorate. Gandalf would show him no favoritism, and defending positions before an intentionally hostile panel of wizards is a daunting task, even for Harry Potter.

"Yes, Professor, it is banal, but so is the damage inflicted upon Middle Earth by what I subjectively refer to as the most insidious of the American Presidencies."

"You must be capable of documenting a value judgment such as that, Mister Frodo."

"Professor, let me answer your concern by repeating three phrases from the times in which we have lived, and to use them to demonstrate my point."

"Proceed, but I am skeptical of the less than scholarly approach suggested."

Frodo was sweating, perhaps as much as if he were inside the Cave at Mount Doom. "Professors, please recall the following 'You Can't Legislate Morality,' 'We Aren't the World's Policeman,' and 'The World Knows That America Will Never Start a War.'" Frodo leaned over the podium standing on his tip-toes, so that he could look into the eyes of the panel seated before him. "The Presidency of George W. Bush has taken time-honored national values, summarized in these three phrases, and cast each of them from the American vocabulary. The result being that instead of a 'Pax Americana' in which the peoples of the world share in and grow prosperous because of noble ideals, suffering and violence are the rule, rather than the exception."

Gandalf stared directly at Frodo, not the slightest hint of emotion on his face, and he was certainly more emotional than were any of the other panelists.

"Gentlemen, the President has exercised his Constitutional Veto on but one occasion in more than five-and-a-half years. He vetoed the expenditure of federal funds to sponsor stem-cell research. There was no reference to any article or section of the Constitution in his denial of the majority-approved legislation. He did so simply because his personal values were in conflict with the legislation. The President, de facto, determined legislation on the basis of his own sense of morality. He did what we, as a people, have accepted, as a matter of routine, that we would not do."

"You may proceed, Mr. Frodo."

"In the second instance Professors, let us recall that it was Washington himself who warned the new nation against foreign entanglements and alliances. Washington feared that European powers would drag the Continentals into their squabbles, thereby frittering away the wealth and the strength of the Americas. Washington was not trying to isolate the new nation, he was trying to direct her to develop her own institutions for all the world to admire. In stark contrast, George W. Bush has proceeded in exactly the opposite direction. Foolishly, he has attempted to install similar institutions in foreign lands, and then to protect them against change from within. He would not allow institutions to develop over time, rather he destroyed what was there, and set up systems which were unsupported by the committment of the populace."

"The result being?" asked Gandalf.

"The result being that our troops are policing the systems, all with the hope that institutions will evolve and police thenselves. The evidence of failure is the existence of militias and the spread of sectarian violence in both Iraq and Afghanistan. The effect is that our troops are the policemen of the world."

There were no questions of Frodo. He took the silence as an authority to proceed to the final point.

"John Kennedy was quoted as saying that all the world knew that the United States was slow to anger, and that War was a last resort in the American psyche. Admiral Yamamoto, in fact, referred to the Americans of December 8th, 1941, as a "Sleeping Giant," awakened by treachery and the fact that all other avenues before war had been exhausted. By giving Congress the authority to declare War, the Founding Fathers acted to ensure that no President would exercise powers that could endanger the principles of democracy.  George W. Bush, whether by deliberate act, or by simple incompetence, took this nation into a war that was premature at least, and unnecessary at worst.   It is certainly conceivable that the subsequent death and destruction are the result of personal pique at Saddam Hussein."

"Can you support that assertion."

"No Sir, and it is not a statement of fact, it is a statement of perception for the student of this period in American, if not World, History.  No matter what else is said or implied, the President of the United States took our country to war, and he did so by obfuscation of fact and by force of personality.  He may, or he may not, have done so deceitfully.  The effect is, if I may anticipate Sir, is that the perception of the World, and even our own peoples, has changed.  We are no longer a shining light in the world."

"Thank you Mr. Frodo.  Since we don't seem to have any further questions, the panel dismisses you and we will inform you of our decision in the near future."

Frodo wiped a tear from his eye as he exited the lecture hall.  He wished that everything he had said had been wrong.  Gandalf and the panel felt the same way. 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:09 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:42 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
That Old Sweet Song Keeps Georgia on My Mind
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Out Damned Spot (2)"
Frodo has had many occasions to look at the lands around the Shire, and to be ashamed. It is not a felony, for example, to commit cruelty against an animal in the State of Georgia. Despite the biblical directive in Genesis (St. James Version) to maintain "dominion" over the creatures of the Earth, in Georgia that terminology has been deemed to define unquestioned mastery over the animal kingdom. In another instance, former Senator Max Cleland, a triple amputee of the Vietnam War, was cited in political advertisements as being in league with Osama bin Laden in "The War Against Terror." His defeat by Saxby Chambliss was a very low point in the political history of the United States.

Masterminding the divisive campaign has been both the vocation and the avocation of Ralph Reed. His Consulting Firm has been involved in money laundering, influence peddling, political dirty tricks, and perjury. Although not indicted, as yet, Reed has unquestionably documented his chicanery by e-mail messages, and in verbal statements. His 20-year association with Jack Abramoff convinced right-thinking people around the world that he was, indeed, a bad guy.

Tonight, Ralph Reed ate the big one. The "Red State" of Georgia rose to the moment and slapped him down within the confines of a Primary Election within his own Party. Within three hours of the closing of the polls statewide, Reed conceded defeat to a political lightweight of no consequence. Even the bigots, the religious zealots, and the politically uninformed were not numerous enough to join with the "True Believers" and carry this weasel to victory.

Frodo salutes the wisdom of his Republican friends, who acted in the best interest of our Nation by sending this slimeball to the trash bin of American History. To fail in an election for a ceremonial position within your own Party, within your Home State, is the death knell for this representative of the Dark Side.

It deserves note that this was an "Open Primary," meaning that any registered voter could vote in either the Democratic or the Republican Primary. Frodo very proudly took a Republican ballot, and pushed but one block on the touchscreen of the Diebold voting machine. Frodo and the Georgia Republicans hung Ralph Reed from a sour apple tree.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:58 PM EDT
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Monday, July 17, 2006
Stuck in The Middle With You
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Little Big Horn (2)"
If Frodo were to paraphrase Caesar's "Commentaries," he would begin by saying that "All of the Middle East is divided into three parts. . ." Truth is, he would not be far from correct. Today, especially, the setting in this Hornet's Nest revolves around the border conflict separating Israel from Lebanon, the Iran-through-Syria Road to the Mediterranean, and the continuing insurgency in Iraq. What is most troubling to Frodo in this scenario is the fact that 135,000 American troops are right smack dab in the middle of the instability.

Iran may not have a nuclear weapon, yet, but they do have "fissile material." Iran is predominantly Shiite Muslim, as are both Syria and Iraq. The greatest population center in Iraq is the predominantly Sunni area in and around Baghdad. It is also the location of the greatest concentration of American troops. Frodo cannot help but worry about a Shiite suicide bomber, with fissile material, setting his (or her) sights on this concentration of infidels, in the mind of the Shi'ia. There is no greater argument for bringing the American troops home, now. The enemy is crazy, and they have no fear.

Had Frodo walked the Montana Territory in 1876, he probably would have called General George Armstrong Custer something like "George W." They both underestimated their enemy. They never caught sight of the grand scale of their predicament. Good boys died, and nothing good came of it.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:10 PM EDT
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Thursday, July 13, 2006
Whenever You're a Sleepin' Poison Ivy Comes a Creepin' Around
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Diazinon Ditties (2)"
The California Department of Pesticide Regulation (What, you don't have a DPR in your State?) has published a "Top 10 List" documenting aberrant behavior by State citizens using Pesticide improperly. Reading things like this should make the good citizens of Texas begin to chant "We're #2," when reflecting on the stupidest human beings all congregated in one political geosphere.

Frodo offers the following and tries to withhold comment until the presentation is concluded: 1).One Californian discovered sewer rats entering his home through a toilet, so he dropped an incendiary device intended for gopher eradication down a plumbing vent on his roof which resulted in $80,000 damage before firefighters could extinguish the blaze; 2). Another Californian set off four foggers in her small apartment, left the residence as instructed, but returned to pick up forgotten items, and dialed 911 when she began to feel dizzy. Both the victim and the sans-protective gear paramedic were revived successfully; 3). A 38-year-old woman found a home remedy for head lice on the Web (probably at whereupon she applied 8 ounces of dog flea-and-tick shampoo garnished with olive oil to her scalp and wrapped her head in cellophane. She reported feeling "itchy and burny" while experiencing nausea and excessive drooling (and probably a latent desire to lick her butt); 4). A 23 year-old man spotted a fly on his beer can, and sprayed it with insecticide. Later, as he continued to drink the beer his lips began to tingle (see earlier comments regarding "Red, White, and Blue"); 5). An 18-year-old sprayed half a can of outdoor-use insecticide in his bedroom, then retired for the evening. After treatment for abdominal cramps and diarrhea, he vehemently denied his sister's allegation that he was "sniffing"; 6). A man was spraying his yard with insecticide and stopped for a chew of tobacco, without first washing his hands, which he remembered to do once the vomiting, salivating, and shortness of breath ended (he must be a relative of US Senator George Allen of Virginia); 7). Another Californian sprayed three cans of lice treatment on his bed, then went to sleep. He told the attending physicians he assumed that the more he used, the better it would work (darn good thing he wasn't using VIAGRA); 8). A Woman (little gender equity if you please) diluted bleach in a cup, then forgot about it and went to bed. The next morning she warmed the liquid and had a big, old slurp; 9). A California homeowner sprayed her cupboards to kill a spider, then stuck her head into the cupboard to determine if the spider was dead. She recovered from the respiratory distress in the local hospital; and 10). A San Francisco physician over-treated his closet with mothballs. Dressing for work the next day he began to feel dizzy and experienced a total loss of muscular coordination. The following day, when he repeated the blunder, he went to the emergency room and was hospitalized overnight. He thought he had had a stroke (this physician must have been trained in Texas).

Frodo notes that Anthropologists still argue about the point in time which defines the Evolutionary division between man and ape. Frodo offers the 10 documented incidents above to verify his theory that the division has not yet been completed. Frodo wonders how many of these people voted for Ahnold?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:09 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:17 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Bury Me Not on The Lone Prarie
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "He is deeply missed (2)"
Frodo has always had an affection for newspapers. When he travels the lands of Middle Earth, he finds a reason to purchase the local paper and to peruse the chronicle of life in an alien community. The local police report, local politics (which may actually be the same thing), and the obituaries are his favorites.

"The obituaries Mr. Frodo? Is that a reflection of the fact that you're checking to make sure that you're not listed?," asked Sam.

"No Sam, I've simply found that by listing the things that are remembered as important, the writer is apparently addressing the values of the community. It goes without saying that it also tells us something about ourselves?"

"For example?," queried Sam.

"Well, let's take a look at the obituaries in the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION, and both pick out an obituary which we feel is particularly interesting, for whatever reason. Then we wil read parts of the selection, aloud, to one another. You go first."

"OK, I'll pick Martha Clayton Clement, age 53, where it says that she became deaf at the age of three, and subsequently became one of the first students to receive individualized K-12 instruction from a Speech teacher specifically for the hearing impaired. She later joined the Georgia State Patrol as the secoond female license examiner in the State, and was instrumental in establishing the TDD system to assist the hearing impaired in obtaining driver's licenses."

Sam was a little stunned, and remarked, "This means that since she was only 53, that it was only 30 years ago that there were NO women in those positions with the State? For Pete's sake, that was 1976."

Frodo added, "You're right, but think of what preceded her as a deaf person if she was among the very first to get sufficient instruction to allow her to graduate from high school. It probably means that to have been deaf in Georgia was virtually assuring that an individual would be semi-literate, at best."

"Sam, that was after all the great accomplishments of the Civil Rights Movement."

"You know Mr. Frodo, I believe many owe Martha Clayton Clement a debt of thanks."

"I think we all do, Sam."

"Now," said Sam, "Read me about the person you picked."

"I was hung up between two. I liked Mr. Buddy Cawthon, age 80, who was an avid Camellia grower, and Past President of the American Camellia Society. A man who devotes his life to beauty is rare, indeed. However, I was taken by what was written about Mr. Thad Dean LaVance, age 50. It says that he was a well-read and culturally diverse man whose passion for salt-water fishing and culinary excellence was only surpassed by the love he had for his family. His contagious laugh and vivid sense of humor could summon cheer and optimism in an otherwise bleak environment. He is deeply missed."

"Oh Mr. Frodo, how lovely that is. Those closest to him remember him for the laughter he brought into their lives. What a tremendous tribute."

"Is there a point, Sam, you think, to what we've just read?"

Sam thought for a minute about what had been absorbed over the past few minutes. Sam looked at Frodo and said, "If you take these obituaries as important, which we did, then I've learned that much has changed about life in the Shire in just a few short years, and some very ordinary people played a great role in what has taken place. I've also learned that we have lost a lot of the laughter in our lives."

Together Frodo and Sam strolled out into the gardens of the Shire, and looked for shooting stars in the night sky.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:30 PM EDT
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