Mood:  a-ok

The Men of Gondor gathered in conversation over Italian food in a place to be known as Hooterville (in order to protect the innocence of an assemblage not likely to share in Frodo's fervent desire for the destruction of Sauron).  Given the environment, Frodo watched nervously at every exit from the toilet, concerned with what may be in the hands of anyone coming in his direction (proof, we suppose, that Frodo has seen "The Godfather" too many times).  While foraging through his salami and onions, Frodo was engaged by Denethor, a wise and gentle engineer of Gondor, who remarked that he often followed the words of Frodo, and found them both amusing as well as diverse.  Frodo was flattered that one whom he regards highly for both his good nature and his science finds value in moments shared over Frodo's ramblings.

Denethor creates fresh water.  From the dispositions of Hobbit and Man alike, Denethor has created huge facilites which scientifically treat and produce a refreshed entry into the environment of Middle Earth.  Patiently, he led Frodo and the Men of Gondor on a tour through one such installation, explaining how 30,000 gallons of what Frodo formerly referred to as "poo-poo water," could safely flow every hour back into the tributaries from which the water first was drawn.  Without the assurances of his friend, Frodo would never have seen beyond the mythology, not unlike those who cause such facilities to be constructed down stream from the major population sources.

An afternoon stroll followed this day, as the Men of Gondor scaled the arguably southernmost of the Appalachian mountains.  The rocky tor that faced to the north rewarded them with a panoramic view of that which once had all been farming plain.  Interspersed for many miles now are grotesque and landless structures which rise from the earth as if they were mushrooms in rings scattered about by seeding fairies.  The absence of adequate rainfall has created rationing need for all, even with the scientific product of Denethor,  because of its entering of existing tributaries far to the south.  Mankind does not trust its science, despite the fact that it is the science which sets mankind above all others.  Those who have not shared time with Denethor retain the "poo-poo water" imagery of the unenlightened Hobbit.

When he returned to the Shire, Frodo listened to the newly-nominated Surgeon General aver that he would resign rather than support politics over science.  Nobody asking questions believed him, nor did Frodo.  It is disconcerting to Frodo that the  "poo-poo water" that does enter the environment untreated is so prevalent, and it seems to come from the same location.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:25 PM EDT

Updated: Friday, July 13, 2007 11:00 PM EDT

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Mood:  chatty

Have you ever considered, dear reader, the growth of opportunity?  Imagine, if you will, America at the mid-point of the last century, when all the lights were on again, and all the boys had come home from the War.  The boys all went to get a job, working for somebody else, to manufacture airplanes, build houses, or whatever.  The concern was life, stability, and building a world that would be better for the next generation.  My, my, oh my, how times have changed in the Shire.

Today there is an exponential growth in services, provided for the most part by aspiring entrepreneurs.  When Frodo and Sam depart by motorcar for Lake Lovey, Miss Ellyn visits their home daily in the Shire to tend to the needs of Beau Neau and Sydney, neither of whom travel well.  When the Hobbits depart for air travel, then Georgia, Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, go to visit Miss Trish at Camp Kennel (where they partake of "bug juice," salute the flag, and learn camp songs).   Miss Charlotte tends to Frodo's mail and business correspondence during all of these absences.  Each has formed their own enterprise which allows them a whole new set of rules for life.

Frodo brings this up because he has been confronted by another such enterprise, and is agog at the ingenuity and the results.  Sam determined that the closets in the Shire were "a mess," and that something had to be done.  Frodo recognized the problem, but was not intimidated, suggesting that they merely throw away all the stuff that was Sam's, thereby reducing the spatial requirements.  Sam did not see that as a practical remedy (see Lorena Bobbit in the preceeding discussion).  Sam did, however, somehow, find an entrepreneur to "re-design" closet space.  Frodo's query if the guy got his start in kitchens, or basements, or garages, was met by the steeley glare of someone who considered himself a true closet professional.  Frodo hesitated in making any comment about a person beginning in closets, and coming out.

Frodo is, quite frankly, amazed at the results.  There seems to be a logical place for everything, and the available space appears to be significantly increased.  Frodo notes that this is one more service, such as those identified above, that never existed a mere half-century ago.  Entrepreneurs, of all kinds, have found opportunity in service to the changes in consumer lifestyle.  It is almost enough to make the Hobbit proud of the ingenuity of the post-War generation.

Then he noticed that his tee shirt, autographed by Dale Murphy, was missing.  His collection of broken fishing lures is not where it is supposed to be, and his complete set of 8th Grade English compositions is apparently lost to history.  Surely Gollum has had a hand in this outrage.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT

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Mood:  cheeky

Lorena Bobbit and David Vitter, need Frodo say anymore?

The first Republican United States Senator in the State of Louisiana since Reconstruction may become the last Republican United States Senator of Louisiana, ever.  David Vitter, a Roman Catholic, who has campaigned on behalf of "traditional family values," and who identified "gay marriage" as the single biggest problem confronting America today (considering that the aftermath of Katrina and the Pre-Emptive War remain omnipresent), today came forth publicly with the information that his telephone number appears in the records of the "DC Madam."  This occurred only a few hours after a legal representative of "Hustler" Magazine publisher Larry Flynt contacted Vitter's office.  A few hours later, the "Canal Street Madam" issued a release to the press that David Vitter's presence in her establishment is also available for public scrutiny.

Vitter, elected from his Congressional seat into a Senate seat in 2004, told his audience that he had made his indiscretions ("sin," as he called them) known to his wife beforehand.  This being the same lady, mother to four children carrying the Vitter name, who stated in 2000 that she would conduct action similar to that of Lorena Bobbit should she become aware of this kind of behavior by her husband.

All of this occurred on the same day that the Chinese government announced that it had executed the government official, equivalent to the Head of the Food & Drug Administration in this country, responsible for tainted product brought into the market illegally.  Frodo is no fan of capital punishment, but the public display of punishment is of interest, and is certainly not inconsistent with criminal punishment in American History.  Frodo has been bothered that these days all we do is either throw a miscreant in jail, or we kill him.  There is no middle ground, as there was in colonial times, when stocks and other methods of public disgrace were utilized.  It could also be added that if the criminal happened to be a member of the Bush Administration, then punishment is anathema.

Frodo would like to suggest that perhaps Senator Vitter might offer himself up for the threatened response by the wronged spouse, and that the punishment take place publicly.  Frodo describes the probable setting as Jackson Square in the City of Orleans, perhaps utilizing the same lights and stage used by the Incomparable Moron when he promised re-building after Katrina.  Would it not be fitting that a dickless politician's podium be used to confirm another?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:04 PM EDT

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Mood:  vegas lucky

Frodo is a teller of tales and a great fan of the seemingly trivial.  The trivial often reflect upon the times, and are determining variables in the behavior of those who tell the tales.  Frodo can name the sponsors of "The Howdy Doody Show," simply because he watched every one of the commercials for "Tootsie Roll Pops" and "Wonder Bread" whenever Mr. Bluster and Princess Summerfallwinterspring appeared on his black-and-white.  One of the marketing mavens of the day, previously referenced by Frodo, was Mr. Ron Popeil.  Dear reader, remember him as the creative entrepreneur behind the "Veg-O-Matic" and the "Pocket Fisherman?"  Well, it seems that Ron is back in the news, and his return illuminates the shadowy world of high finance aand privileged investment.

Ron Popeil started his business in 1958, often appearing in late night TV advertisements himself.  He sold his company, Ronco, for $56 Million in 2005 to a group of private investors ("private equity" as it is known) headed by a Mr. Richard Allen, who was advised on the purchase by the TEXAS-based investment bank SMH (which was probably Mr. Allen's first mistake, giving credence to a bunch of formerly drunken "Hook 'em Horns" frat boys from the worst state university not a member of the Southeastern Conference).  In court papers Allen alleged that the investment bankers had neglected to advise him that Ronco only had $250,000 in cash at the time of the sale (free advice from Frodo to Mr. Allen, did you ever consider asking?).  Allen further alleged that the investment bank then named one of its' own partners, John Reiland, as CEO of Ronco, in order to "cover up" their lack of due diligence in recommending the sale.  Allen, it should be noted, had been CEO when the sale was completed, but the rest of the investors got together and canned him, thus naming Reiland to the post.  

Ronco filed for Chapter XI bankruptcy last month.  Another private equity firm, Marlin Equity Partners, has agreed to acquire the assets of Ronco at auction for $10 Million.  Roughly speaking, this means that Allen and his former friends lost almost $50 Million because they bought a company that was unable to either dice vegetables or catch fish.

Frodo notes a certain similarity to a group of greedy TEXANS who felt they would be greeted like heroes, and whose expenses would be covered by the sale of the oil that was liberated from prior management.  The losses in this case however, are in the billions of dollars, and in thousands of lives.

Why would anyone take advice from a TEXAN?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:20 AM EDT

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Mood:  chatty

Frodo has read nearly all of the collected writings of James Michener.  Geology, history, romance, mystery, adventure, intrigue, all in some of the most remote locales on planet Earth, and beyond ("Space" took the reader into the cellestial.  The exception being "Texas," which Frodo never finished, reflecting the fact that no one is capable of a home run every time at bat.  Frodo has just finished what will long prove to be the most provocative of his books, "Caravans."  He found that his interest in this particular book is not unshared.

"Caravans" is set in Afghanistan in 1946.  In brief, the story centers about a 20-something from the US State Department who is dispatched to locate a young debutante from the Main Line of Philadelphia and Bryn Mawr who has "run away" with an Afghani Engineering student to this unknown land.  Given the sequence of historical events since 1946, and the importance of Afghanistan in today's world, Frodo was excited by a Micheneresque preview of modern-day political happenings.  Michener wrote the book 17 years after the setting of the book, and he spent considerable effort translating the world as it existed at that time.  Michener died 10 years ago, and felt, even then, that he would like to again return to this the place he felt to be the most interesting destination on our small blue planet.

Michener blew it.  In 1963 Michener felt that there would be a continuing struggle for Afghanistan between the United States and the Soviet Union.  By his death in 1997. he obviously was aware that his less-than prescient model of the modern world had a few holes.  What that meant was that the emerging technology and development he foresaw has not happened.  The "mullahs" whom he saw as anachronistic and a weakening force in the new Afghanistan emerged far stronger than the internationally-educated engineers and leaders.

What Michener did right however, was to paint a picture of the diverse peoples of the region.  Uzbeks, Sunnis, Kochis, and Tajiks and the role of their women, wearing the chaderi, and how they interacted with the FERENGI.  "Star Trek" fans will note the derivation of the alien populace characterized for their chicanery in business dealings with the Federation.  The word "ferengi" is Afghan for "alien."  The US State Department protagonist was a "ferengi."  Had he stayed on course with the importance of religion, and its time-honored habits, he would have been less optimistic about the impending future progress in the region.  He made the error of postulating his beliefs about Afghanistan to the entire Middle East.  Frodo thinks Michener would be very, very disappointed at the turn of events brought on by others who also miscalculated. 

Frodo, as he does often, purchased the paperback at his favorite "used bookstore."  At least two others, according to handwritten notes in the margins, read the same book for similar reasons.  Curious it is that people have reached out to sources they have trusted to discover truth and understanding.  Perhaps it says something very poignant about how very little confidence exists in those charged with such responsibility by governments?  Governments come and go, but the caravans will continue their trek through history.   Now, at least, we know who the Ferengi truly are.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:22 PM EDT

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Mood:  suave

Morgan County's Hazardous Materials Unit is, ever since 9-11, routinely dispatched whenever any truck, train, or airplane cargo carrier crashes within the boundaries of this Tennessee political subdivision.  The logical assumption is that the materials were merely passing through and that the cargo could be almost anything.  Such was the case early this morning when the first reponders arrived at the scene.

Two train locomotives, both pulling six cars on behalf of Norfolk & Southern, derailed in a very rural area of a rural county.  One car turned over completely and four others jumped off the rails and began spilling their contents.  It was learned later that all of the cars were the property of a single vendor and that all were bound for the same destination in Atlanta.  Following is a simulated conversation between the Hazardous Material Unit dispatcher and the first of the First Responders on the scene.

"Come in Lobo, this is Big Mama."

"Lobo here, we are on scene Lucille."

"Which is where, Horton?"

"We're on the south slope of Buzzard Mountain, right where the tracks turn around to clear Waterfall Falls.  One car has turned over and is spilling its contents and a mass of bubbles are just a splashin' downhill.  Several other cars have jumped the rails and at least one of them has foam spillin' out of the top."

"Any idea what it is?"

"Not yet, we're in our haz mat suits, and are goin' to get the crews away from the scene so we can see what they know."

"Y'all be careful now, y'hear?"

"Big Mama, did y'all call Reverend Moon and dispatch him to the scene?"

"No Lobo, but you know how them guys sometimes monitor emergency channels just so they be there to be interviewed once the TV crews get there."

"Well, he's generally makin' a nuisance of himself.  He's gatherin' the crews together to thank Jesus for savin' them, before we've had a chance to even talk to anybody."

Some time passes.

"Big Mama, this here's Lobo."

"Have you secured the scene, and determined the source of the spill?"

"We have Big Mama.  I'm afraid there's not much of a threat in this spill, but I'm even more afraid we're gonna be here a long, long time." 

"Explain Horton."

"Well Lucille, it seems each of these here cars is full a beer, and all that's spilled out has been some of Milwaukee's finest. "

"Well, what's the hold-up on the clean-up?"

"It's that damn preacher."

"Reverend Mooney?  What'd he do?"

"First off, once he learned it was beer flowin' downhill like chocolate on the Big Rock Candy Mountain, he started a prayer meetin; to condemn the devil's brew.  Then he started helpin' the crew clean it up."

"So what's the reason you think it'll take a long time yet?"

"Lucille, they're only on the 74th bottle of beer, takin' one down and passin' it around."
  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:32 PM EDT

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Mood:  sharp

Mr. Eugene Robinson wrote an Op-Ed in today's WASHINGTON POST which he entitled "Standing in the School House Door."  For those, dear reader, old enough to remember, Governor George Wallace of Alabama stood in the doorway and faced Attorney General Nicholas deKatzenbach (what a wonderful time it was, to have an Attorney General of whom one could be proud), attempting to block the entrance of Negroes into the University of Alabama.  Brothers Robert and Jack Kennedy did not have cell phones, so their communication amidst the presence of National Guard troops, and people of assorted opinions was critical and it was profound.  From that moment forward, it was clear that the Federal Government was going to assert its obligation to all its citizens, as so interpreted by the judiciary.  Mr. Robinson's concise commentary reflected upon the fact that what happens now will be despite the presence of the judiciary, rather than as a result.

Andrew Young, once the Mayor of Atlanta, once the US Ambassador to the United Nations, an ordained minister still, amongst many other positions of impact and honor, is a Democrat.  Almost an eternity ago, when Walter Mondale ran, unsuccessfully, for the Presidency, Mr. Young , not atypically, voiced his frustration at the ill-fated Mondale campaign, and referred to the hapless group as "smart-ass white boys."  Unsurprisingly, developed there overnight many a tee shirt and coffee cup with the acronym "SAWB" thereupon.

Frodo's point in recall of these two historical events commingled with the current spate of judicial guidance is to illustrate how little we either know or comprehend about the gains in human rights in our own country in just the past generation.  With sheer audacity of purpose, it is therefore uncommon to hear any SAWB speak favorably of "affirmative action," or "racial balance."  The term is "reverse discrimination," and it is reflected in the words of Chief Justice Roberts in his majority opinion which eliminates "race" as the factor used to establish student population diversity.  Frodo may, indeed, be both a Hobbit and a SAWB, but he believes very strongly that racial prejudice is quite prevalent, and it is much more pervasive than most will admit.

George W. Bush, to even his staunchest supporter, is recognized as a much lesser mind than most.  His inability to communicate, as well as his lack of knowledge on basic issues is obvious.  George W. Bush, a borderline student at best, attended two of the most prestigious universities in all of Middle Earth.  He won admission not because of his grades, or his test scores, or his good works; rather, he won admission as a "legacy."  His family fortune, their contributions to both Harvard and Yale, and the attendance of his familial ancestors gave him favored status.  George W. Bush took positions which might have otherwise been won by a woman, a "Negro," or even a "Latino."  In that sense, George W. Bush "stood in the schoolhouse door," and he thereby helped maintain the white, male dominance of power in society.

Although no one calls it admission by race, that is what it is, de facto.  Chief Justice Roberts probably knows that.  His awareness thereof is what either makes him a fool, or a liar.  Perhaps both.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:45 PM EDT

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Mood:  crushed out

Tammy Duckworth, Hillary Clinton, Ann Coulter, Paris Hilton, Laura Bush, Elizabeth Edwards, Liz Claiborne, Christie Todd Whitman, are all American women to prove newsworthy over the past several days.  Frodo is not surprised by the attention given to women under the microscope of notoriety, rather he is surprised only at the absence of one of the more obvious attention-getters.  How quickly, it seems, the mighty fall.

The Secretary of State, formerly the National Security Advisor, apparently was the heir-apparent to the current Occupant at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, at least in the mind of those planning for the royal succession.  Having already assured themselves of the righteous and the white male in their covey, they saw this as the cusp from which they could grab the mothers and the brothers, thereby cementing their hold on the reins of government for generations to come.  Something apparently happened however, on the pathway to the Lincoln Bedroom, for none of the ten announced candidates for the Republican nomination have even mentioned her name during the first two televised debates.  In addition, the Grand Ole Party has opened its doors to every aging movie star or prison inductee in the public eye in order to find some one, any one, capable of making a decent showing when next an election is held.

Colin Powell's successor seemingly stepped into an opportunity from whence she could do no wrong.  What has transpired is that she actually did nothing, and that may have impacted her decision-making about the future.  Madame Secretary has been oft-quoted that her "dream job" was to become Commisssioner of the National Football League.  That opportunity evidently was bypassed when she decided to assist her "husb" in the attainment of the New World Order as directed by the Neo-Cons and the Never-Coulds.  Frodo believes that she has her eyes on another position, far more desirable that that of the Presidency, and has been purposely avoiding the spotlight so that everyone does, indeed, forget about her.

Condi wants to be the next Bob Barker.

There is much to recommend and to document her for the position of Hostess for "The Price is Right."  Initially, she has the uncanny ability to simultaneously smile and to spout gibberish.  She can dress the part, simply because she owns more shoes than anyone not named Imelda Marcos.  She additionally has the capacity to apply her foreign affairs expertise to actually pricing the prizes which are now manufactured outside the United States, predominantly the result of her participation.  Finally, she certainly has a strong grasp of the entire concept of "selling out."

Frodo also fears what might happen should Madame Secretary fail in her quest for this position.  Job-hunting certainly is made a great deal easier if there are simply some accomplishments for the resume'.  Even the positon of "Greeter" at Wal-Mart requires that the incumbent actually have done something over the past eight years. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:06 AM EDT

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Mood:  down

"Statutory Rape" is a term which one doesn't hear much anymore, it seems to have been supplanted either by alternative terminology or by the complete absence of sexual exploration by teen-agers.  There was a time in recent history when the words "15 will get you 20" were crystal clear in their reference.  How times have changed.

Genarlow Wilson, a talented young black athlete, with the verbal skills of a mushroom, was having a good time at the party.  Things got even better when the young female slipped her lips around his Johnson, and proceeded to do her best imitation of Monica Lewinsky.  Wilson's friends thought this such an amusing turn of events that they turned their videocamera toward the participants in order to mark the historic event for future audiences, perhaps on "You Tube."  The fact that the suckee was 15 years old did not seem to register with anyone.  Added on to that fact in subsequent testimony, the "consensual" act by an underage female seemed to make everything all kosher.  Genarlow got his rocks off, his friends got their movie, and soon the Mounties would get their man.

Genarlow Wilson was charged and sentenced to 10 years.  During the course of the trial, to complicate matters just a smidgen, the law was changed, and the felony which was, wasn't.  Fat lot of good that would do Wilson, and all those pending grants-in-aid to football-crazy institutions which necessarily went the way of the Great Auk.  That is until it became the "social injustice du jour." 

To make a long story very short, the Attorney General of the State of Georgia (which, these days, is sort of like the state of uncertainty) appealed a judges' order to free Wilson on appeal.  This coming after the youngster has now spent four years in the cooler.  The Attorney General, Thurbert Baker, argued that such a ruling could adversely impact the conviction of everyone with the same charge as Wilson, i.e. aggravated child molestation, and that the requirement for registration as a "sexual offender," might be procedurally challenged by all.  The uproar for justice to deal with the circumstances of one young man, versus the laws which govern all, crystallized when the publicity hounds came baying at the jailhouse door.

One "civil rights activist" called a press conference after discussing the strategic nature of the case with the Prosecutor.  This, an individual unknown to the defendant or his family, who had never had any contact with the defendant, his attorney, or anyone even remotely affiliated, was presenting himself as "deus ex machina" in behalf of Genarlow Wilson.  At the same time, the mother of the suckee appears on local TV and proclaims that the sexual act was "consensual," and that she saw no need for Wilson to suffer further for such an act.  Noted by Frodo is the fact that by going public in this manner the mother had "de facto" identified her daughter as a parrticipant in such an act to the entire viewing public, including everyone ever identified as a "sexual offender."  Not to be outdone of course, was the implication, nationally, that this was but one more example of "white man's justice" in the South applied to the poor and downtrodden. 

The Attorney General of Georgia, the aforementioned Thurbert Baker, is black.  Baker has argued that proper action by the Governor, the questionably honorable Sonny Perdue, to pardon Genarlow Wilson and to thereby remove the "sexual offender registration" requirement would quell the potential legal problems inherent in simply letting Wilson go because one judge said it was OK.  In the meantime, the forces of emotion over civilization demand Baker's head, that Wilson be freed, and all the past be forgotten.        

Frodo thinks the girl's mother is a fool.  He thinks the "civil rights activist" should be banned by the State of Georgia, and delivered to his new residence in Crawford, Texas.  He thinks that Governor Sonny Perdue should resign in order to run for Vice President alongside Sam Brownback.  He also hopes that Genarlow Wilson comes out of jail as something more than a made-for-TV soap opera icon.  Frodo hopes it happens soon, and that it is proper under the law.

Frodo also thinks that if John F. Kennedy were today publishing a new edition of "Profiles in Courage," that Thurbert Baker, Attorney General of the State of Georgia, should be included.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:09 PM EDT

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Mood:  celebratory

Legolas and Frodo traveled together to the Broad River Gelbvieh Farm to reunite with Boromir.  It had been many years since last the ancient warriors had stood together.  It was the first time since the passing of Boromir's Galadriel.

Upon the crest of the hill the flag held firmly to its position at half-staff.  No formal declaration was necessary, nor even common for one who served by waiting, an oversight in the system, for sure.  Wisps of clouds, like the tresses of a maiden, flowed gently behind as the backdrop to this quiet memorial for the Hostess of Broad River.

Boromir led from that spot down to the hay barn where they watched the newly-weaned bellow back-and-forth as their mothers wandered up-and-down along the dividing fence.  Following other cattle through the next pasture, the triumvirate stopped by the pond serving its refrigerant to the denizens who waded through its surface to relieve the heat of mid-day.  They stood under the oaks and the hickorys, and they talked of battles long ago fought while in service to the King.  Not much was said about opponents felled, rather it was of scars showing, inside and out, and of those with whom they had served about which much is today unknown.

Gathered they then for a cooling repast, and then to share in the bounty of that land in feast.  Words were spake about the Lady Galadriel and days to come that require not planning, nor lamentation, but a new level of normalcy.  As a tear fell, it was met by the wise and respectful silence of warriors with open ears, and hearts.

Commemorative pictures were ascribed to share with members of the Fellowship in absentia that day.  Hands were clasped, chests together, as only old warriors know how.  Promises were made as directions three led them away from their gathering.  The clouds had drawn back from the hillside and the flag waved to each traveler, in his own mind.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:57 PM EDT

Updated: Sunday, June 24, 2007 7:59 PM EDT

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