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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
PlayThat Funky Music, White Boy
Topic: "First National Bank" (5)

Frodo is not a particularly big fan of Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX).  First off, as most know by now, Frodo is not a particularly big fan of anybody or anything from the area he wishes he could return to Mexico and not have to pay reparations to anyone dumb enough to accept America's biggest waste product (which certainly explains the reason for large deposits of natural gas therein).  Additionally there is the Congressman's proclivity to demonize the presence and the actions of the Federal Reserve Bank, a position which Frodo feels reflects the sophisticated thinking of the early 16th Century.  Representative Paul twists his little nose into the operations of something he does not understand, thereby producing the reason that Frodo rejects Paul's proposed interjections in behalf of transparency and good government.

Seemingly, it makes sense to widen government operations into the open air, and thereby enhance the democratic concepts of everyman as a part of our democracy.  Frodo asks however, dear reader, do you really want Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) in any way involved in America's financial decision-making future?  What about Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), who proves to the world on a seemingly nightly basis that she has no vestige of common sense?  How about Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA) who sits on the Board of Directors of at least two banks both of which are presently under FDIC requirements to "cease and desist" ineffective operations? 

Can you imagine what it would be like to bring these semi-morons into each and every decision to raise or lower interest rates by a quarter point?  These people are owned, lock-stock-and-barrel by interest groups that would lobby them endlessly, one way or another.  There would be no capacity for cooler heads to prevail on business decisions which shape our fiscal wherewithal. 

Frodo suggests, dear reader, that anyone living in or near a major urban area in America first find out if there is a Federal Reserve Bank nearby.  Then, states the Hobbit, go there and take a free tour of the facility, available almost every working day.  Ask the volunteer tour guide about how the members of the local Board are chosen, how often they meet, and what impact their recommendations have on the fiscal policy of the United States?  Then, go home, get down on your knees and thank the Maker that Rep. Ron Paul and Rep Phil Gingrey, and the rest of the Congressional Clowns are out there picking their collective noses, and doing no further harm.

It may not be perfect, but at least it is Paul-free.  Frodo sincerely hopes that those good people who have sought understanding of his protection of this aspect of America's Economic System reflect on the fact that, sometimes, it is good not to have too many cooks (or Texans) pissing in the broth.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EST
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I Guess I'm Just a Stubborn Kind of Fellow
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Gay Faux Holes" (5)

"Secretary Gates, Admiral Mullen, welcome to our hearing this morning.  As we all know, the Administration is proposing that the Congressional Legislation commonly known as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," be rescinded.  Before the Congress considers such action, it is incumbent upon us to seek the opinions of both the Department of Defense and the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  Let me begin by asking Admiral Mullen for his comments."

"Mistuh Chairman, ah object."

"I'm sorry, Senator Simply Useless (aka Saxby Chambliss) (R-GA), I did not hear any question or point raised prior to the opening comments of Admiral Mullen.  What is your objection?"

"I object to the presence of all them pink ribbons openly worn by those in the gallery.  That symbolizes the anti-Chrisitian leanings of those who would defile our honored military veterans.  I ask that they either remove their ribbons, or they be escorted out of this chamber forthwith."

"Senator, why?  No one has, to my knowledge, sought to either disrupt or influence these proceedings, assuming they can begin over your objection."

"I retain my objection."

"Senator, in consideration of your objection, and recognizing the fact that you have no military service history yourself, due, I believe, to a 'bad knee,' isn't it inappropriate for you to even be present in the room with people who have served our nation?"

"Mistuh Chairman, I would've gone to Vietnam had I been able."

"So noted.  Please proceed Admiral Mullen."

"Chairman Frodo, I also object.

"Senator McCain (R-AZ)?  What Sir, is your objection?"

"Since this hearing addresses existing legislation, it seems propriety would require that minutes from prior Congressional Hearings on this matter should first be read into the record."

"I beg you pardon Senator, but you want the Congressional Record, twenty years later, entered into these proceedings?  That sounds rather wasteful to me."

"Mister Chairman, it is incumbent upon this Congress to act to prevent this Administration from ignoring the safety and security of the United States by admitting bung-holers and cocksuckers into the the first lines of our defense."

"Senator McCain, can you give this Chair a single example in order to give any credible consideration to your request?  What negative impact do you foresee if this Legislation were amended to give equal access to military service by all who qualify?"

"Mister Chairman, I fear that those under the spell of homosexuality would be unable to stand up to the rigors of torture as was inflicted upon me during my years of captivity in North Vietnam."

"I see.  Well Senator, I believe every American respects and is grateful to you both for your service, and your sacrifice.  What is it which makes you think that a guy who came in fifth from the bottom of his graduating class at West Point would perform better than someone who graduated first in her class at Wellesley?"

"Mister Chairman, I'm not sure I appreciate the tone of your response."

"Senator, you have exerted your bias and your attempt to forestall consideration of an important public issue before any input has been presented by either the Secretary of Defense or the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  That is improper by both you and Senator Useless.  In my opinion, it is a reflection of a couple of tired old men, who simply forgot that old soldiers, and old draft-dodgers alike, are meant to fade away."

"Well, I never."

"No you didn't.  No you haven't.  Nor will you.

"Sit down and shut up you old farts.  It is time for us to get on with the business of being Americans.  Perjhaps you should take notes.  Admiral Mullen, I believe this country is listening, above the cacophony, in order to hear what you have to say.  Please proceed." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EST
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thinkin' About Things
Mood:  special
Topic: "We Make a Better Day"(5)

Frodo has been listening to a lot of music lately.  The destruction wrought upon one nation introduced him to Justin Timberlake, who won Frodo's respect for the "Hallelujah" he introduced to a world full of watchers the other evening.  Bruce Springsteen gave fresh meaning to "We Shall Overcome" during the same presentation, but it was the memory of something almost forgotten which drew Frodo to search out the lyrics of Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson.  They captivate the Hobbit time and time again.  Frodo is not ashamed to admit that his eyes burn and his heart breaks when Ray Charles takes the microphone, and Frodo searches for the sources of the harmony behind.

The tragedy is that one song only begets another.


"There comes a time when we heed a certain call

When the world must come together as one.

There are people dying and it's time to lend a hand 

To life--the greatest gift of all.

We can't go on pretending day by day

That someone somewhere will soon make a change.

We are all a part of God's great big family

And the truth

You know

Love is all we need.

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving.

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives.

It's true

We'll make a better day

Just you and me.


Send them your heart

So they'll know that someone cares

And their lives will be stronger and free.

As God has shown us by turning stone to bread

And so we must lend a helping hand.

We are the world

We are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So let's start giving

There's a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives

It's true we make a better day

Just you and me."


Tina Turner, Dionne Warwick, wow, hey, isn't that Dan Ackroyd? 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:36 PM EST
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Monday, January 25, 2010
When I Lost My Baby I Almost Lost My Mind
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "If It Ain't OneThing"(5)

Sports, politics, love, work, it don't matter, if momentum is going in the wrong direction there are times when you might as well roll over and turn off the alarm clock (digital, of course).  The Shire is home to hacking coughs, frazzled nerves, overcast skies and limping canines.  It is almost as much fun, says Frodo, as an enema (which reminds him of the colonoscopy scheduled for February 8th).

This past Sunday morning probably dawned, although from the incessant drizzle and invisible skies it was difficult to ascertain.  Frodo had risen early, simply because further sleep was denied by associates requiring the relief provided by authorized urination in the great out-of-doors.  Frodo wondered if President Obama was having as much fun as he. 

Sam and Bilbo were having a heated discussion about breakfast plans.  Frodo had completed his critique of the Sports section, but lacked the capacity to attack Business, National, or Local.  He retreated to the bathroom.

While brushing his teeth, and with the small window on the world slightly ajar, he was startled by the muffled words of a loudspeaker nearby, but out of sight.  "This is the Police.  We are serving a search warrant at this address.  Please come out with your hands up."

This is not a usual morning presentation in the vicinity of the Shire, even on a Sunday.  Frodo nearly strained his neck in the attempt to see something through that tiny window, anything, which might give him some insight into what was going on out there, beyond the Gardens.  His rushed exit from the bathroom caught the attention of Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, who immediately sensed adventure.  Sam and Bilbo listened to his harried explanation but noted, as did Frodo, that things were now silent in every direction.  It was also raining.

Frodo, Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, all properly leashed, took off in rain garb toward the perceived source of the audio activity.  Alas, they found neither flashing lights nor guns drawn.  Sane people, Fiona seemed to say, were back inside, eating breakfast.  By happenstance, Tom Bombadil approached in his motorcar from the opposite direction, and stopped to briefly exchange greetings with the sopping Hobbit and companions.  When informed of the impetus for Frodo's sojourn, Tom attested to the fact that nothing untoward had occurred where he had been.  Frodo noted the sarcastic tone from he who had not even been in the proper vicinity, but it signaled the wisdom for Frodo to return to the interior chambers of the Shire.

He coughed with every step bound toward home.  The closest thing to real human interest had eluded his keen sense of observation, and now he faced incessant questions with no apparent answers.  Frodo quickly eliminated the memories from the appropriate storage facilities in his cerebellum.

Today, however, Bilbo noted a short paragraph in the local newspaper (if you can sanely refer to what they now allege to be a newspaper).  It was noted that in the general vicinity of the Shire, on Sunday morning, a SWAT Team had taken possession of an automobile believed to have been used in a shooting in Mordor.  Although the names were unknown to Frodo, the location was such that it probably represented the events which had drawn his attention, and this narrative.

This evening, Frodo walked by the general area of the events of the day before.  He tarried.  Fiona seemed disinterested, but Mick, the Wonder Dog, was a willing understudy in the search for clues.

Both of his associates wondered why Frodo kept referring to Mick, the Wonder Dog,  as "Watson."   Sometimes, an overly active imagination is all it takes to give meaning to existence in the middle of winters discontent.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:46 PM EST
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Talking Is Cheap, People Follow Like Sheep
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Take It Off Baby" (5)

After appearing on "American Idol," the eldest daughter of the newly-elected Junior Senator from "the bluest State in the Union," appeared on-stage, with her Dad.  In both instances she appeared to be completely clothed.  Perhaps the adage to "do as I say, not as I do" reflects the management style of the Brown household; offering hope to those among us who might linger outside a window in order to observe "up close and personal."

Frodo has paid little attention to the thoughts of others for the past several days, focusing more on his own problems and recollections.  Again, the iconic personage of Abraham Lincoln is in mind, especially in the first year of the Great War against those who dared oppose the "bluest State in the Union" and subordinates of lesser dominion.  Lincoln's popularity was not daily measured by Pew, Harris, CBS/Wall Street Journal, or any other now-familiar poll, although it can be reasonably assumed that his numbers were pretty well down the charts after First Manassas.  Frodo thought of that especially when he heard one call for the firing of Larry Summers, as if he were the George Meade redux.

Lincoln was plagued by military leaders who lacked his judgment.  The result being that his every waking hour was devoted to someone offering him advice on who to replace, or what Proclamation to sign.  Lincoln was besieged by a public who demanded reparations for the cost of War, and who treated those who had opposed them as if they were terrorists, rather than the sons of Scots-Irish immigrants.  Lincoln knew that winning the War was top priority, but beyond the pale was what would happen to the nation in the days that followed.  

Frodo recalls an unusual instance during the most recent Presidential Campaign.  While campaigning in his "home" State of Hawaii, Obama took off on his own for a long walk, and he was, much to his chagrin, tailed by the ever-present Press Corps.  Clearly irritated, he begged the journalistic paparazzi to leave him alone, and give him time to "think."  Frodo knew exactly how he felt, and surmised that his fondest photograpic portrayal of Lincoln  was a portrait of the man, seated, alone, open palm to chin, in painful consideration of the challenges that never seemed to end.

Obama is surrounded by very wise and talented associates.  This is enough to distinguish him from Lincoln, whose assemblage was challenging, if not rebellious.  Perhaps it is the very competence of his advisors, and the faith that he has in them, that keeps President Obama from the solitude which characterized Lincoln's decision-making, and which guided Obama in the days before he became President.  Frodo has difficulty zeroing in on a single characature of Obama alone, as President, in his thoughts.

Frodo's ramblings aside, it is appropriate to reflect upon the fact that Harry Truman once threatened a journalist who criticized his daughter's piano-playing.  A long way we have come it is to a senatorial father who introduced his daughter's availability on television, even in jest.  Some men, it seems, never understand the value of walking alone. 





Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EST
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Monday, January 18, 2010
And If Our Backs Should Ever Be Against The Wall, We'll Be Together
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Title IX Disaster" (5)

If Martha Coakley were a candidate for political office in the Shire, Frodo is not sure he would vote for her.  Of course, if the option was Saxby Chambliss, Jim DeMint, Jeff Sessions, Ben Nelson, or some other purveyor of personal aggrandizement, the unknown Ms. Coakley would receive Frodo's unquestioned endorsement.  Ms. Coakley is however running against a true unknown, who appears to be the beneficiary of the many gaffes and strategic stumbles of Candidate Coakley.  That, to Frodo, is two steps beyond danger, and at the entrance to the Twilight Zone.

Frodo is an admitted chauvinist when it comes to sports.  Frodo played football, basketball, baseball.  Frodo is still a workout runner, and he prides himself on his knowledge of the nuance of team sports.  Why, therefore, should he give any credence to anyone named Pam, Robin, or Erin when it comes to the Super Bowl?  Frodo will listen to any guy, and that includes the worst sports announcers in America (see Atlanta, network affiliates), over any female sports announcer.  To the best of his knowledge, Frodo is unaware of any guy who wears a "sports bra," and he does not know any woman who has ever even playfully burdened herself with a jockstrap.  These two facts alone are sufficient to justify Frodo's biases.

Given that bias, in a Hobbit as opposed to some turtle pucky from Alabama, would an outstanding public prosecutor from Massachusetts begin to talk about baseball and the biases of a Republican Pitcher about whom she doesn't know squat?

Ms. Coakley, next time ask Frodo before you open your mouth about professional sports.  These guys are all money-grubbing Republicans.  They have made quazillions of dollars, and all they care about is maximizing their deductions.  With the exception of a few black guys who rallied to Candidate and President Obama, they are Republicans and they have no sense of obligation to anything beyond a fully-deductible "foundation," and the cost of an ounce of crystal meth.

Should you ever decide to run again, talk about the sense of accomplishment you feel when you put a murderer or terrorist away forever.  Frodo appreciates the brains and the brawn of a prosecutor.  What he can't stand is a self-serving politician who tries to be his pal.  Apparently, the voters of Massachusetts feel the same way. 

Given all of that, this guy Brown could be a member of the John Birch Society for all we know.  As long as she doesn't come out with a dip of snuff between her cheek and gum, Frodo is willing to accept Ms. Coakley into the United States Senate.  What he won't do is watch her broadcast the Boston Red Sox.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:25 PM EST
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Saturday, January 16, 2010
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Bona Lisa" (5)

Mood swings, thought Frodo, were something to be endured amid any personal relationship.  It is rare however, that Frodo finds himself doing an absolute 180 degree mood change, especially when it involves a photograph.  Earlier this day, given the human tragedy in Haiti, Frodo was thinking about the father of the college girl who'd been informed that his daughter was okay, then to find out that the information he'd been given was incorrect.  On top of all that, he was worried about an election in Massachusetts, of all places, and the absolute irony in the fact that Ted Kennedy's replacement could put the coup de grace on healthcare reform.

Frodo was, at best, pretty blue.

Then he saw the picture.

Evidently, this narcissistic moron who has been gaining in "the polls" as the Republican hopeful to replace the late Senator Kennedy posed for a picture in 1982, in the nude.  Frodo immediately tuned in his black-and-white to the local FOX News affiliate.  Certainly, thouight Frodo, the purveyors of "fair and balanced" would be covering this right alongside the daily blather of Rush Limbaugh and the pontification of Rev. Pat Robertson.  Frodo, it seems, was half-right.  The FOX News crew were in deep discussion about everything except Brothers Limbaugh, Robertson, and the only Massachusetts politician who has proven himself to be "dickless."

When Frodo heard that President Obama would be assisting in the campaign of the Democrat, Ms. Oakley, he couldn't help but hope that he takes along that picture which demonstrates his "abs," as a point of comparison. 

Frodo has been trying to remember the significance of other photographs in other elections, and he thought about LBJ holding one of his beagles up by its ears.  In truth, he cannot recall any "policake" photos which left the viewer scouring for actual warts on the epidermal layer of the prospective vote-getter.  Maybe we ought to consider that.

Frodo smiles.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:18 PM EST
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Thursday, January 14, 2010
If You Don't Know Me By Now
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: "Soul Train" (5)

Quixotic it is that Frodo spend a few moments stepping back from the death and destruction in Haiti in order to speak of another death.  The mellifluous voice of Teddy Pendergrass was stilled this day, and Frodo immediately recalled some special moments in his life.  For an artist, there is no higher compliment.

Pendergrass began his career with the group known as "Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes."  Not long after striking out on his own, the arrogance of youth and talent brought him to the near fatal automobile crash which left him paralyzed for the remainder of his days.  Colon cancer struck the final blow.

His list of love songs, although only a part of his creations, are special to Frodo because of the human artistry lyrically weaved into the product.  In our title song, he touched his audience recognizing that "all the things we've been through" reflect humanity because "we all got our own funny moves."  Every relationship, simply said, reaches a point where partners have to accept each other, or go their own separate ways.

Frodo is a wordsmith, but tonight he feels an absolute inability to capture the magnificence of the harmony which emanates from the YouTube replay of the appearance of Pendergrass and his associates with Don Cornelius.  Before you go to bed this night, seek it out, and sway.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:56 PM EST
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I Got So Damn Depressed
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: ""I Ain't Got Much" (5)

Frodo had legitimate business reasons for his frequent trips to Puerto Rico.  He was not so naive however, as to ignore the resentment that so many natives held toward those like him who were from "the mainland."  The absolute ignorance of the issues in Puerto Rico exhibited by mainlanders was, and still is, humiliating, for the all rest of us.  For example, it is not uncommon for verbose mainlanders to loudly proffer that Puerto Rico should be given "her independence."  Since only about a third of the people of Puerto Rico share that opinion (the options being statehood or the status quo, a commonwealth), it is easy to see why mainlanders are resented for the unfortunate habit of talking without having any information to substantiate their opinion.

No, this posting is not about Sarah Palin, but it could be, admittedly.

Frodo is deeply concerned about the events taking place in Puerto Rico's neighbor this evening.  It is possible, though certainly beyond conceivable, that half-a-million people have died within the seismic zone in the nation of Haiti.  By now, everyone knows that this is the poorest of the poor in the Americas, and that there are no local resources available to serve, if not save, human life in Haiti.  Frodo notices immediately that the pictures of the destruction yield no trees, and no birds.  They have been consumed by overpopulation.  Whatever comes out of this disaster, in order to live another day, will be from the largesse of peoples from all around the civilized world.

When Frodo was last in Puerto Rico, it was crowded in the streets below, since office buildings were spilling their human content as if they were all sharing the same schedule for a daily purgative.  Frodo's friend wanted him to join his circle of friends for an apertif in a nearby watering hole, and suggested that the best way to avoid the crowds was to walk through the secured facilities of the downtown Federal Office Building.  Frodo gamely followed the gaggle of natives, practicing his hideous Spanish amid their laughter.  Suddenly, Frodo was confronted by a line of 10 or 12 very slender men, all chained together and guarded by very big men with very big guns.  Frodo was too startled to think of an appropriate question, so his friend responded to his silence with but a single word.  He simply said, "Dominicans."

Just as there are Mexicans and Cubans and Guatemalans all looking to enter into our homeland for many types of opportunity, residents of the Dominican Republic attempt to illegally enter Puerto Rico for exactly the same reasons.  There are too many people, and not enough resources to serve them, or save them, in the Dominican Republic.  Over drinks, Frodo learned that the attempts usually come by boat from the eastern end of the island of Hispaniola, and that hardly a day goes by that there aren't lives lost in the attempt.  Desperation, it seems, is quite a motivator.

Frodo thought about the desperation of the "Dominicans" this evening, when he heard Brian Williams talk about all of the equipment and supplies being delivered to Haitians from their neighbors in the Dominican Republic.  The poorest people that Frodo had ever seen were giving to help their neighbors on the western end of the island of Hispaniola.

Bilbo has often told Frodo about the days of the Great Depression, when there was hardly enough to eat on the farm, but that her "daddy" never turned any wayfarer away without sustenance.  Perhaps, thinks Frodo, it would be a good idea to look back to Lincoln's words about Christianity, and why God made so many poor people. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:55 PM EST
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Sunday, January 10, 2010
Cindy, Oh Cindy, Cindy Don't Let Me Down
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Cat Fight" (5)

Non-public statements which become public knowledge are part of Frodo's avocational interest in politics.  With the exception of professional sports and the journalists who cover them, nobody does it better than politicians and those who tend to write books two years later.  The Senior Senator from Nevada, and the former Governor of Alaska appear in a new book today as if they had planned to appear naked and let small children discover that neither was wearing clothes.  Sam is an advocate of greater research into the true and untold story of the 2008 Republican Presidential candidates, and their spouses.

Sir Todd, we know, has a multi-year documented membership in a white supremacist organization which the Vice Presidential aspirant tried to ignore.  It can safely be assumed that Senator McCain at some point in time became aware of Todd's buddies, and Frodo would like to go on record as saying that he truly believes McCain was not thrilled.

The real unknown however, is the relationship between Cindy McCain and Sarah.  In silence, Frodo has spent countless hours searching Cindy's face whenever she shared a public appearance with "The Flying None."  As a lifelong student of feminine expressions, Frodo has a self-developed acuity for determining when a woman is in the presence of someone she cannot stomach (Frodo, after all, has admitted to not having won every scoring opportunity).  It is Frodo's professional opinion, and not unsurprisingly confirmed by friend Samwise, that Cindy McCain was sorely tempted to push Sarah's head into a tub of water and to hold it there until the conclusion of the Iowa Primary.  

Frodo is reminded of the look that the housewife of thirty years might have upon her countenance when she learned that her husband once played golf with Tiger Woods.  It is probable, in Frodo's mind, that said housewife might want to get an accounting of cellphone usage, and to see if there were any golf clubs in the SUV.  Cindy has that same look in her eyes, just like that which caused Caesar to take special note of Brutus' presence at the terminus of his political career.

Sam is willing to consider offering a reward to anyone who gets Cindy to talk.  Frodo, again, remarks that inquiring minds, simply, want to know. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:14 PM EST
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