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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
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Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Saturday, May 18, 2013
I've been Hurt, Hurt, Hurt, 'Cause You Cheated On Me
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Hopalong Frodo"(9)

In his fifteenth year, Frodo made an ill-advised maneuver upon the sands.  His knee turned abnormally and the resultant swelling locked his leg in place for many days.  Frodo was reminded of that old injury lo these many years past when the slightest twist brought about an inability to manage the simplest of motor skills.  Frodo's chagrin has been matched by the watchful care provided by Sam, and frustration in the activities of Dandy and Tess.  "What use," they think, "is a Hobbit who cannot walk, much less run?"

The unfortunate injury, not unlike the silver lining upon the clouds blowing past his window to the wind, provides Frodo with an opportunity to catch up on a number of internal assignments including this posting.  The capacity to be outside is a driving force in the activities of the Hobbit, so this "catch up" time, although frustrating, offers him the appearance of organization.

Frodo also did a little research, resulting from the trivial television performance of the House Ways and Means Committee.  William Loeb and Michael Dolan were names from Frodo's past which came to mind as he watched the public humiliation of Steven Miller, soon-to-be the Ex-Acting Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service.  "Billy" Loeb, as the highest ranking civil servant in that organization during the Nixon Administration, was the man who raised his middle finger to H.R. Haldeman and told him that he would not initiate investigations of any of the Presidential enemies list.  He added that he would leave said meeting and go directly to the office of the Washington Post if necessary.  Frodo discovered, as he had feared, that this very brave civil servant passed away in 2006, at the age of 94.

Mike Dolan works for KPMG in a very senior position.  Serving as Acting Commissioner on more than one occasion, Mike endured the last major "scandal" involving the Internal Revenue Service during the early years of Ronald Reagan's tutelage.   Mike began his Congressional Record testimony with the words "I'm Sorry."  Mike knew that most of the assertions of poor service and harassment laid before him were basically false, but without the permission of the taxpayer to disclose the facts and circumstances of the case, it would be illegal for him to even acknowledge awareness of the cases at hand.  Unsurprisingly, none of the ten or so complainants gave their permission to such a disclosure.  Mike Dolan is the supreme example of "grin and bear it."

Watching that little twit from Kansas or that corpulent fool from Texas (aren't they all?) or the puddle-jumper from Pennsylvania each expend their five minutes of fame in ignorance of the facts while on CSpan, Frodo put his index finger down his throat and puked.  Our nation, it seems, turns it's lonely eyes toward those unwilling to seek the truth.  Frodo knows that this, too, shall pass, it's just a shame that it is at such cost.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:41 AM EDT
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Monday, May 6, 2013
Jim Dandy to The Rescue, Go Jim Dandy
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Honey Dew List"(9)

Ever since his return to the Shire after the assault on Mount Doom, Frodo has met each challenging day with a plan for success.  Until today, that is.  It is unseasonably cold and rainy in almost all of Middle Earth, with the kleinstadt Seattle noted as the warmest spot in all the land.  Frodo has been left with minor assignments that have been on the "to do" list for countless months, simply because their relative unimportance is exceeded only by the boredom they generate.  Frodo has been saved the humility of a "lost day" only by the similar level of boredom achieved by the largest of his Shire residential assistants.

Dandy is a mountain dog.  He is happiest when he establishes himself in a pastoral mode atop the highest hilltop, boulder, or pinic table.  From such a position of paramount presence he is able to observe the slightest movement by enemy combatants, wolves, squirrels, or Mr. Beau Neau McKitty.  He will retreat to a lower level when in pursuit or whenever Tess forays too close to his perch.  Should none of these responsibilities occur within a reasonable amount of time, he will seek out friend Frodo and nip him in the groin, thereby enlisting Frodo's participation in canine olympic trials.

While Dandy and Tess nap prior to the commencement of their favorite television show (cuddled up on the couch with Sam and "General Hospital"), Frodo is downloading his digital camera to his computer.  Today, the task is photographs, forcing Frodo to make quality judgments about moments in time going back several months.  Suddenly, Frodo remembered why he had relegated the tasks involved to such a low priority.  There stood Mick, the Wonder Dog, in all his statuesque nobility, nose to the wind, one last time.  Frodo's eyes grew misty, and he lingered long and breathless over the countenance of his old friend in what now seems a time so long past.

Just then Dandy entered the room in possession of "chewies" earlier distributed to both Dandy and Tess.  Dandy made it clear that he wished to take all the valuables to the backyard of the Shire, and to surreptitously make mental notes of where he would relocate the entirety of treasure.  Haste was indicated, especially since Tess was still napping.

"Yoicks, the fox," thought Frodo, as the two conspirators quietly tippy-toed through the basement and into the soggy landscape.  Once their task was accomplished, Dandy looked up at his hero and he laughed, in the way that only a brigand can laugh, while making mischief.  Every day it seems has its blessings, it's just that sometimes it takes a black heart in order to create a wry grin.  Dandy and Frodo are well on the way to terrorizing the innocent whenever duty calls. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:53 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 2, 2013
Good Times Never Seemed So Good
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)

In the land that used-to-be but never was, the Hobbit and the Fellowship learned that failure to impress best took place beneath the sun and upon the sand.  The beach afforded them the opportunity to wash away their pain in the surf.  Later they could stroll the boardwalk, and sneer at the tight little butts that continued walking, in the other direction.  Eventually they'd split a six-pack of tall boys and consume English's Chicken boxes, each of which fed "10-12 hungry people."

Frodo thought about those immortal days of yesteryear while straining against the leashes of Dandy and Tess.  Sam walked head down, in search of protective armor which once offered relative safety to indistinguishable living creatures.  The empty vacation beaches are a marvel unto themselves, but Frodo actually thought he heard the Drifters talking about hot dogs and french fries, out of the sun.  Rubbing his eyes he was startled by the long porch and the thousands of rocking chairs peopled by those who contentedly rocked hour upon hour in Frodo's memory. 

How the Fellowship laughed at the thought of rocking the days away on the porch of the Plimhimmon.  There were waves to catch, tans to develop, subs to consume, and girls everywhere.  How droll they thought, that even a single moment would be spent in a wooden rocking chair in the shade no less.  Never once did any think of the day that would inevitably come when they might actually seek one for themselves.

This would not be such a day for Frodo.  The hotel disappeared in the mist, and Dandy found something gross upon which to roll, while Tess decided that it actually looked tasty.  Sam added the thirty-fifth empty scallop shell to the collection, and Frodo looked out to sea.

From the park he could hear a carousel.  He wished. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:26 PM EDT
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Friday, April 19, 2013
Bird, Bird, Bird, Bird is The Word
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Seems Like Yesterday"(9)

Repetitive old Frodo, thinking back amongst the halcyons when little Peeper first joined the Shire, setting the stage for the current representative of the avian democrats.  Sydney was but six months old, and soon found himself as the tutee in all matters regarding fertility.  Sad it was when Sydney eventually found himself all alone, except that is when it came to dinner time.  He watches himself in a full-length mirror and eats whatever he wants whenever.  Sydney is also subject to fits of screech that rival any chalkboard.

Tess, not unlike most Shire residents past and present, has been fascinated by the swooping cockatiel vaulting from cabinet top to the shoulder of the Hobbit and back again.  Unsurprising it was that she finally nade contact with the target.  Sam was quick to the scene, but age combined with shock bodes ill for the continuing good fortune of Frodo's friend from down under.  He moves about his cage, and he squawks at the Hobbit from time to time, but he did not eat any this day, and his head appears to lean noticeably left.  He has not tried to fly to familiar perches in Sam's kitchen.

It is hard to be angry with Tess.  It is easier to write things off as the simple expectation of friends who come and go in each of our many lives.  Sydney may look, and scream, like normal in the morrow, but his stay in the Shire is not endless no matter.  Frodo will miss his calls to cousins who flit about the Shire in desperate search of the wealth that is Sydney's without effort.  He has served his responsibilities well, and he actually smiles at Frodo whenever the Hobbit whistles his favorite tune, "Peeper, Peeper, Peeper." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:05 PM EDT
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Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Look At The Night, Now It Don't Seem So Lonely
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "The Boston Massacre"(9)

Frank Shorter won a Gold Medal when he finished first in the marathon at the 1972 Olympics in Munich.  He has often remarked about the horror he saw that first day when the ski-masks appeared on the balcony.  Forty one years later, Frank Shorter ran in yesterday's marathon in the City of Boston.  His first thoughts, as he relaxed just beyond the finish line, were "Oh no, not again."  It is unlikely that anyone else in the entire world played such an active role in both events.

Frodo was close by when the 1996 Olympics yielded something more than the skills of Edwin Moses and the insanity of Eric Rudolph.  Hawkeye Pierce and those who portray him for real performed admirably and ran to assist the really wounded, as if they really were dressed in fatigues and unloading choppers while "Suicide is Painless" accompanied their acts of heroism.

There it was, as Frank Shorter said, and young Martin Richard was declared dead by the young surgeon, only moments after hugging his favorite runner, at the finish line.  Oh no.  Hawkeye Pierce had to yield to Father Mulcahy, again.

It may be a long, long time before that which motivated the perpetrator is known.  After all, Boston is the home of the real "Tea Party," and it was the 15th of April and our taxes were all due, and the Government of North Korea was celebrating, and the Saudis announced that they were authorizing women to drive motorcars, and the Governor and the President were both black.  Surely, thinks one, that one or more of these arguments justify the end of small lives by small explosions. 

The very first marathoner collapsed, and died, as he delivered the message that motivated the first 26.2 mile trek.  Frodo has always thought that someone would have to be crazy to follow in those footsteps.  Perhaps he has learned that the real craziness is in the throngs that watch, with nothing else to do, again.  Henry Blake's lament lives for all time. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:53 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 10:57 PM EDT
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Saturday, April 13, 2013
I'm Your Puppet
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Tax Driver" (9)

Frodo once truly believed that state and local governments were preferable tools in legislative hands than those wielded by the federalists.  He has amended his opinion upon reflection.  The examples he cites require minimal explanation, to wit.

From his earliest memories, Frodo has always been aware of the privileges available to diplomats in a foreign land.  As long as he can remember, Frodo has known that thousands of unpaid parking tickets are amassed annually in places like Washington, New York, and Missoula, Montana.  All of that, of course, is to guarantee ready access so that misunderstandings are minimized and prompt action can be taken as necessary in resolution of potential conflicts.  These privileges, rankling as they may be to locals, are universal in application and therefore not a major problem, usually.

Fulton County, Georgia, houses one of five Indian Consulates in the State of Georgia.  Note that Frodo uses the word "houses" reflecting that the question of ownership is at the crux of the issue under discussion herein (the diplomatic terminology is anticipated).  Thirty days after the Indian Government moved into the newest of its consulates, they received an invoice for unpaid property taxes from Fulton County..  Thirty days thereafter, the property was sold.  The Indian Government, as one might imagine, is claiming "diplomatic immunity."

Pakistani officials are laughing their asses off.

Carnival Cruise Lines has suffered quite a number of operational failures over the past many months.  On more than one occasion, the US Coast Guard or other agency have been called upon to assist in the rescue of its citizenry drifting aimlessly, with out plumbing, in transient waters.  The Coast Guard has invoiced Carnival Cruise Lines for services rendered.  Carnival has responded that it was the duty of the US Coast Guard to respond in keeping with hundreds of years of maritime law.  Indirectly, the response being that the Coast Guard should not be looking for a check in the mail.

Frodo wonders just who is going to show up the next time the good folks at Carnival run aground, without working toilets.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:05 PM EDT
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Thursday, April 4, 2013
Has Anybody Here Seen My Old Friend
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Strip Searched" (9)

It was very quiet in the bus stop where male students gathered in the early morning hours for burgers and fries.  An important man had died this day, representing one more loss on one more day when losses mounted beyond comprehension.  Someone asked Frodo what it all meant, and what he felt would happen as a result of events this day.

Frodo said that Washington D.C. would burn.  He hoped he was wrong, but he knew he wasn't.  In the days that followed, Frodo's father was trapped within the confines of the building where he worked, unable to leave to go home, and not allowed to return.  Eventually, he received a special pass allowing him to travel back-and-forth from his place of employment to home.  Frodo wishes he had saved that pass, for it would be a marker in history we all, sadly, would like to forget.

The murderer escaped that day and was on the run for many days.  When captured, he was extradited to the land that would treat him as an innocent man, until it proved otherwise.  This very day Frodo learned something not previously made public knowledge.  James Earl Ray was strip-searched and the entire process was filmed, and aired for the first time just a few hours ago.  Frodo wasn't shocked by the nudity, he was stunned that nobody even knew of the existence of said data.  Why, wonders Frodo?

What, Frodo asks, does it say to us, if not about us, that we keep secrets from one another?  The suspicion that guides what we think about the integrity of our system is hurt more by information undisclosed than by all the ills wrought upon us by McCarthy, Hoover, Cheney, and Woodrow Wilson's personal physician. 

How sad it is that, despite the suffering we have known, we accept the fact that our elected officials add content to legislation, anonymously.  Other elected officials are authorized to prevent specific executive appointments for no stated reason.  Potential evidence is hidden for generations or more, and no one asks why.  Perhaps the fabled balance of power in our system is nothing more than lack of trust.  If this is the case, then someone else's father will some day also require a special pass into our nation's capitol.  


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:38 PM EDT
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Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Blue on Blue, Now That We Are Through
Mood:  irritated

Former US Senator Howard Baker (R-TN) is probably best-remembered for his participation in the Watergate Hearings more than 35 years ago.  His "What did the President know, and when did he know it?' is a phrase that will continues to live in infamy.  During the same period in time, he was also quoted wishing that any of the Watergate participants had been elected to any political office at least once in their lives.  The implication being, of course, that none would have acted so irresponsibly had they some measure of accountability to the general electorate.  Frodo has been thinking about that quite a bit of late.

If Frodo were to ask, dear reader, you to identify the Republicant miscreant with the greatest responsibility for tax policy in all of Middle Earth, would you not likely respond with the name Grover Norquist?

Similarly, would you not identify Wayne LaPierre as he who comes first to mind when one considers the folly of gun legislation?

Rush Limbaugh has received on-air apologies from sitting members of Congress whenever he takes umbrage with something at variance from conservative dogma.

Ann Coulter has documented the electoral process in the Republicant Party beginning with a bypass of potential victory in order to nominate Mitt Romney, and to therefore lose.

Frodo's point is clear, at least to him, that nearly every strategic or operational political responsibility position therein is "manned" by an individual who has never run for any position in the public forum.  To begin identifying political figurines beyond that group results in one more "wish list" candidate for 2016.  Strange it is that names like Moynihan, Kennedy, Ervin, Rayburn, Mansfield, Eisenhower, Goldwater, Simpson, Jackson, and yes, even Baker are no longer the points fixe for policy and implementation. 

With what we've got, it is clear that the loyal opposition should require what's left to receive remedial training.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:36 PM EDT
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Saturday, March 30, 2013
Monday, Monday Can't Trust That Day
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Good Friday It Was"(9)

Sometimes, cards dealt are the cards to play.  On Good Friday, Frodo met another doctor, a nice man to be sure.  Suggested by another, the new doctor deals in blood, and there were apparently some concerns therein.  The decision being that Frodo would do nothing, but come back in three months.  The new doctor said, simply, that he wanted to make sure that doing nothing is the right thing.

Frodo asked him if he were a Republican, and they laughed.

The "platelet count" seemed high to Frodos regular doctor.  It seemed high to the new guy, also, but from a relative point of view, it was not a concern.  Frodo felt a whole lot better, as did Sam.  Instead of promising to never consume more than 4 ounces of spirits at a single setting, the Hobbit put a severe dent in a Jack Daniels namesake, saluting pure fate at every lapse in the toasting thereto. 

The new doctor asked Frodo if he were a Republican.  Frodo told him those were fighting words, and they laughed once again.

That evening Frodo ran his fingers across the pate of the noble Dandy, promising him that they would soon swim in the big water dish in the sky.  They looked up to the stars, together, grateful that time was still on their side, and that Sam would be there when they came back to shore.

Dandy may not yet know what a Republican is, but he knows what he doesn't like. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:36 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, March 30, 2013 8:40 PM EDT
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Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Islands in The Stream, That is What We Are
Mood:  lucky

400 people have amassed personal assets equivalent to that of 150,000,000 of their countrymen.  When Frodo first heard these numbers, and his boyhood thoughts of wealth redistribution as a worthwhile aspect of the social agenda stopped short of a new eruption, he began to wonder what kind of statistical malaise confronted Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette?   Obviously, dear reader, her demise was hastened by her suggestion that cake replace bread, and it has made Frodo wonder if a repeat couldn't follow upon the musings of young Senators Paul and Cruz, et al.

The behavioral sciences have elevated economics to a leadership position among the sociologists, the anthropologists, the political scientists.  The mathematical applications reveal exact results when the variables are clearly and scientifically identified.  Although political science has made great strides (a la Nate Silvert) there is too great a human whim involved to ignore the facts of economics.  The problem remains that the "moment" cannot be captured by the economist.  That is why "irrational exuberance" and "Keynesian" and "Laffer Curve" all have relevance, in the grand scheme, but are virtually worthless as stand alone subjects of study.  At least as far as Frodo is concerned.

Just when he thinks that he's gotten a grip on all of this, by adopting the long-term analyses of Paul Krugman, Frodo watches Krugman get shredded into chopped liver by someone like Joe Scarborough.  Sigh.  Had Krugman responded by saying that the finite statistics are bound to change over time, and as variables, well, vary, then Frodo would've laughed off the rantings of the right.  The result is, however, that the fat old white guys are not about to give up the fight.

After all, that's why they got the money in the first place. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:12 PM EDT
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