Topic: "Serendipity Strikes" (3)
Frodo and Sam are preparing for their next excursion beyond the limits of the Shire. Sam implements, and Frodo navigates similar, it seems, much like the old joke that Sam makes the little decisions like what to eat, when, and where, while Frodo makes the big decisions like whether or not Iran should be invaded. Characteristically, Sam is concomitantly gathering vast amounts of material about travel beyond the scheduled, which gives rise in Frodo to dreams of uncharted locations personally appealing to everyone's favorite Hobbit. Reality however, is a cruel teacher.
The Great Pyramids, standing perhaps at the very crux of life on our small blue planet, will have to await until Frodo convinces Sam that any overnight accommodations would include plastic plants (as opposed to live tropicals which would presumably harbor alien lifeforms, e.g. cockroaches).
The Galapagos Islands, where HMS Beagle carried Mr. Darwin as he sorted and classified, are unlikely to please anyone who requires round-the-clock cell phone access in order to verify HSN deliveries.
The Great Rift Valley, offering Frodo the opportunity to compare bones with anyone named Leakey, would unfortunately not be within reasonable driving distance of a single TARGET store.
The Plains of Troy, where in another life Frodo fired the arrow that slew the evil Achilles, would be unacceptable because that destination would require steerage with the worst tourists in all of Middle Earth (hint: the subject masses comprised two-thirds of the Evil Axis powers of World War II).
Sailing Cape Horn, and perhaps sighting the Great White Whale, would require procurement of more dramamine than could be reasonably expected to be produced by every pharmaceutical manufacturer in toto between now and the year 2014.
London and the Cotswolds (note: entered herein representing Frodo's best attempt at "reverse psychology").
The Northern Territories, "G'day Mate", perhaps acceptable if Frodo would similarly agree to fund attendance at 17 consecutive operatic performances in Sydney (see prior comments relative to dramamine).
Anyplace that flies a Pirate Flag. Unfortunately, Sam wearies of Frodo's impersonations of Johnny Depp.
Mick, the Wonder Dog, has entered Frodo's chamber and signals a need to visit the Gardens of the Shire. Perhaps our canine companion submits a reasonable alternative, and certainly a necessary one.