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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
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"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
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"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
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"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
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"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
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"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
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"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
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"Southern Ladies" (5)
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"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
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"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
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"Terminal? Great!"
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"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
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"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
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"That's the way it is"(5)
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"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
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"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
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"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
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"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
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"The Second Amendment"
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"The Turtle" (3)
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"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"To Arms, To Arms"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
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"Tom" (4)
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"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
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"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
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"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
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"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
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"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
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"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
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"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
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"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
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"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
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"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
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"Winter Solstice"
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"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
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"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Tuesday, July 5, 2005
See the Pyramids Along the Nile
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Wishin' and Hopin'"
Fortune magazine recently identified "five idyllic places" to retire. No surprise to Frodo that none of the five spots happened to be in Texas. It was surprising in the fact that the United States of America, to whom all the world wants to come, and in whom the entire world seems to invest, was not represented at all. This made Frodo wonder where the most powerful man in the world will retire, since Crawford is ill-equipped for a man of such, shall we say, "significance?"

San Carlos de Barloche in Argentina was first on the list. Since Bush speaks Spanish there is a certain attractiveness for a place that might understand what he has been saying. Certainly his English has not helped him to this point. Bush would have to learn the Tango, and Frodo knows that chewing gum at the same time would eliminate that possibility.

Dubrovnik in Croatia was next. Come on, do you honestly think Bush has any idea who the head guy is there? Do you honestly think he could place Croatia on a map? Bush would never go to someplace he would always mispronounce not named "WARSHINGTON."

Boquette, Panama, is an automatic elimination, unless it came in a package deal to return control of the Canal to the US of A. No Republican will ever admit that Jimmy Carter did the right thing.

Merida, Mexico, is an intriguing thought. Frodo remembers that it was Fox whom Bush first forced to visit him in Crawford, and it was Fox who exhibited the same sensitivity to other ethnic groups that characterizes him as an acceptable host. Plus, Bush could come back across the border anytime he wanted to, and there would be total amnesty.

Phuket, Thailand. We all know exactly what Bush would say, and it wouldn't even be funny.

No, Frodo, thinks that Bush will stay in Texas. At least it will be good knowing that he won't be on American soil.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, July 5, 2005 9:31 PM EDT
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Friday, July 1, 2005
It's Only Me Pursuing Something I'm Not Sure Of
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Iran's Tom Hayden"
Frodo has been comparing the pictures for a couple of days now, and has to admit that although there is a strong resemblance, it doesn't appear to be the same guy. That does not, however, mean that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was not elsewhere in the crowd. The Iranian President-Elect, and any role he may have played in the takeover of the American Embassy in Tehran in 1979, has caused Frodo to wonder what he would do if he were the American President (or if anyone with a shred of common sense were in said role).

"President Frodo."
"Yes Bob"
""Given the fact that the soon-to-be new Iranian President was directly involved in the takeover of the US Embassy in Tehran in 1979, what will be the response of the United States to his role on the world stage?"
"Bob, that act was a true terrorist act. Individuals acted against a monarchy at the behest of religious leaders. It would be as if the Reverend Jerry Falwell sponsored groups trying to unseat former President George W. Bush, and seized the Embassy of Spain. It is the kind of act which set the stage for lawless acts that followed all around the world. It is the act for which participants must be held accountable."
"Bob," said President Frodo, "I have asked the Attorney-General of the United States to initiate an investigation into the activities of Ahmadinejad in that unlawful incident and its' aftermath. If there is sufficient evidence of his direct involvement, the United States of America will seek his indictment before the World Court. The charge will be Terrorism."
"Further, should he be indicted, he will be tried, even "in absentia."
"President Frodo."
"Yes David."
"Would the United States seek his arrest?"
"Absolutely. He would be immediately taken into custody should he set foot in the United States. Further, the United States would seek his extradition from any country subscribing to the World Court."
"Mr. President."
"Yes John"
"Would the United States act on its' own to take him. . ."
"Absolutely not. We are a Nation of Laws, we will act in accordance with International Law."

There, dear reader, is why a nation subscribes to the tenets of the World Court. It is why we are a part of the civilized world, and not its' policeman, its' bully, its' self-appointed leader. Terrorism is our foe, and it is better to fight it than to join it.

That is the America that Frodo celebrates over this Fourth of July. God Bless America.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:07 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, July 12, 2005 9:22 PM EDT
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Early On a Frosty Morning, Look Away, Look Away, Look Away
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Run, old hare!"
"As he touched his spurs to the flank of his horse, the men surged forward, charging with him into the sheet of flame which blazed to meet them there among the blossoms letting fall their bright pink rain."

Frodo is very sensitive to any glorification of War. Shelby Foote however, described the Civil War as America's "Iliad," and he transfigured the people and the places into prose. He made the reader remember that these were once human beings who walked on our roads, smelled our roses, and tasted the water in our springs. Mr. Foote passed away yesterday at age 88 in his hometown of Memphis.

Shelby Foote came to the Shire on television with 89 appearances in the 1990 PBS documentary about the War. He wore a gray-and-silver beard , had sorrowful eyes, and held the grave countenance of a general who had seen too much. Listening to his description of an event, the reader could almost smell the pipe or the glass of bourbon staring back at him from the writer's table. He did not glorify War, he told its' anecdotes.

The sentence which opens this tribute described the bayonet charge into a peach orchard led by A.S. Johnston. Johnston was struck by a "minnie ball" and bled to death on the battlefield. Now go back and read that sentence again, then close your eyes. The fallen soldier in your minds' eye is a portrait painted there by Shelby Foote.

In a typical vignette, he told about a soldier in Pickett's Brigade who came across a rabbit as he entered the field. The rabbit scampered deep into the woods away from the Yankee guns on the far side of the open field. "Run, old hare! If I was an old hare, I'd run too," said the soldier. The soldier did not run and he died.

Frodo will miss Mr. Foote. Frodo always wanted to buy him a glass of bourbon, and to watch an episode of "As the World Turns," with him, which he watched every single writing day. His book, "The Civil War: A Narrative," took eleven years in composition, and it is twice as long as The Bible. In 1999, the book was named as "Number 15" in the list of the 20th century's 100 best works of nonfiction written in English. He wrote it in long hand, with an ink pen; at least 500 words every single day.

There is a bottle in the library. A taste will be appropriate. Frodo gave up smoke a long time ago, so he will close his eyes and see if he can remember the taste.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:36 PM EDT
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Monday, June 27, 2005
Get Your Motor Running, Get Out on the Highway
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "Runaround Tsu"
Frodo takes special pleasure in those accomplishments which stand the test of time. A few weeks ago, Mr. Kozo Haraguchi, a Japanese national, ran the 100 meters in 22.04 seconds.

"22.04 seconds? Are you crazy Frodo? The world record is somewhere around 9.1 seconds. That may be the slowest time I've ever heard recorded for the 100 meters," so said Legolas. "The way I figure it," he said "your speed demon was cruising in at about 4 miles an hour over a distance shorter than a football field."

"I know my friend,' saith Frodo, "but you need to consider that it was raining, and that Mr. Haraguchi was afraid that he might fall. After all, it was the first time that he had ever run competitively in the rain."

"Is there something I'm missing in all of this?" said Legolas.

"Oh, didn't I tell you that Mr. Haraguchi is 95 years old?" said Frodo. "He broke the world record for the 100 meters in the 95-99 years of age grouping" (previously held by Erwin Jaskulski of Hawaii at 24.01 seconds).

Frodo notes that Mr. Haraguchi also holds the record in the 90-95 age bracket, when he covered the same distance in 18.8 seconds back in 2000. This was the same year that George W. Bush became President. Five years later, he is also running around in circles.

Frodo is trying to picture what George W. Bush will look like when he turns 95. No matter what state he's in at that time (e.g. animal, vegetable, or mineral), he will be the penultimate example of how dope affects the outcome of a race.

Tomorrow night he addresses the American people to explain how we're winning the War in Iraq. The Braves play the Marlins, and the NBA Draft is on ESPN. It is nice to have alternatives in case he forgets to submit his resignation.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:55 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
Fighting Soldiers From the Sky, Fearless Men
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Curious, George?"
James Webb completed a tour in Iraq that lasted a year and a week. He suffered a back injury resulting from an explosion. He is no longer able to stand up straight, and he hobbles around on legs that no longer support him properly. He also suffers from sleep-busting dreams, popping painkillers during the day, and anxiety about how he will pay next month's mortgage payment. Webb received a medical discharge on February 4th, 2005, and he subsequently was shipped home and filed for disability benefits. He was told "We'll get back to you in eight months."

Frodo has learned that the number of cases BACKLOGGED for processing by the Veterans Administration has now grown to more than 340,000. Now, obviously, not all of these are wounded veterans of the Iraqi insurgency, but for Mr. Webb, it is an emergency. Webb goes to a local hospital for physical therapy, which is paid by his wife's medical insurance. The strain on their marriage rests in the fact that she provides all their income, mothers three children, and is fighting foreclosure on their home.

United States Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho), chairman of the Committee on Veterans Affairs said resources were adequate to take care of veterans' needs. Veterans groups lobbied Congress to add $2 Billion to the $80 Billion supplemental Military Appropriation specifically for veterans healthcare. The measure failed to pass.

Mr. Webb's mother sought assistance from a local veterans group seeking assistance for her son. The group attempted to intercede on Webb's behalf, but the Veterans Administration responded that Webb would have to wait his turn. The spokesman for the veterans group said "Army people are poor people. We are not high on any totem pole."

Emotion aside, Frodo has a question for you, dear reader. What do you think Governor Jeb Bush had to do to get the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to hire hundreds of temporary employees to process damage claims from hurricanes in Florida?
Frodo would never suggest that such assistance was unneeded, he simply wonders why it mattered so much in comparison to a backlog of benefits claims on behalf of wounded soldiers?

Florida voters live in nice houses and Florida voters contribute a lot of money to politicians. Frodo supposes that they are pretty high on the totem pole. James Webb still has trouble sleeping, worrying about how he'll deal with tomorrow. Before he was discharged, the Army took his weapon from him while he was being treated at a stress clinic.

What we know is that soldiers wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan are surviving severe injuries at higher rates than in any previous war. Many of the most severely wounded are facing lifelong rehabilitation for amputations and trauma. The New England Journal of Medicine has reported that 1 in 6 of every returning soldier will suffer post-traumatic stress disorder.

What we hope is that none of them will need help for at least eight months after they get home. Frodo wonders if George W. Bush thinks about this problem "every single day?"

Frodo never thought that he would have to include James Webb under the umbrella of the "smallest and the weakest." Frodo is ashamed that such is the case.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:45 PM EDT
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
Hush My Darling, Don't Fear My Darling
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "M-G-M Material"
Part of Frodo believes that there is always something rational to explain a miracle. The Red Sea parted, probably, because of the confluence of tidal factors. A Star appeared to Wise Men, probably, because the orbits of heavenly bodies converged together in a predictably occasional event. Then, there is always the nagging assertion that sometimes events simply transcend reason.

A few weeks ago a young girl was kidnapped and beaten by her abductors. The seven men were trying to force the young girl into marriage. In her land, more than 70 percent of all marriages begin with abductions such as this. In this case, the girl refused the opportunity provided to her, so the stalwart males proceeded to beat the hell out of her. Apparently, the disturbance attracted three of the approximately 1,000 lions who wander freely in the deserts of Ethiopia. The abductors fled, leaving the young girl bloodied and whimpering to the "mercy" of the lions.

The lions stood guard over the young girl. They stayed with her until police and relatives found her outside the town of Bita Genet. They never harmed or threatened the young girl, they simply guarded her from further harm until proper help arrived.

Stuart Williams, a wildlife expert with the Rural Development Ministry in Ethiopia, stated that "A young girl whimpering could be mistaken for the mewing sound from a lion cub, which probably explains why they didn't eat her."

The black-maned lions are Ethiopia's National Symbol. Despite a recent crackdown, hunters kill the animals for their skins, which can fetch more than $1,000 even in this impoverished nation.

If Frodo were a lion, he probably would have voted to give humankind one more chance. "Friends," he would say, "we could eat this child, and fend off starvation for several days. We might then be blamed for her death, and thereby further inflame the hunter's zeal."

"Friends, let us observe this human child, and protect her until the members of her pride come to claim her. This would be at least one human, of which there are more than 70,000,000 in this land, who would know that our lives are important."

"Frodo, you are a fool," so would say the lion named Rove. "Real lions drive humans away from their hunting grounds, we kill their young, and they never bother us. That is why we have the strongest prides and the best hunting lands. I, Rove, say 'Eat her and be done with it.'"

The third lion would pace all around the young girl, sniffing; smelling the blood, and listening; hearing the moans of pain. "Frodo is surely wise, but he is lean and he does not provide as well for his family as does Rove, who is well-fed with fat cubs. Is it not our purpose to provide for our own? This human child is small and provides little meat for us, or our prides, so why should we not go on about our hunt for more substantial game? There is no reason for us to stay here and look over the offspring of those who do not respect us, the symbol of this very nation of humans."

Just then human voices are heard nearby, so the lions stand their ground until they can observe the nature of the disturbance, and the size of the intruders. Seeing that they are many, and that they have guns, the three lions slip away over a sand dune and into the scrub brush below.

Frodo supposes that sometimes simple civil discourse brings solutions to even the biggest problems. That is a miracle that even science can't explain.

Four of the seven abductors have been captured. Frodo hopes it was by lions.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:58 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
Looking For a Home, Gotta Have a Home
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "Bishop to King's Castle"
The Supreme Court of the United States of America today ruled that a man's home may be his castle, but he is only a leaseholder. There is an anomaly to the fervor of those who are, well, fervent, in their disfavor with the 5-4 decision. The voting majority, it seems, were the progressive (i.e, generally sane) and the minority was Rehnquist, Scalia, Thomas, and O'Connor. The people most upset are those with the most extreme postures of both the right and the left in the general population. Those in the middle seem to think the Court ruled correctly.

Frodo is in a pickle. It is beyond his cognitive scale to recall the last time he agreed with Sandra Day O'Connor on almost anything. Frodo doesn't even like the way she does her hair. If any woman has ever met the definition of "frump," it is with the bobbed-do of an Arizona broad-rumped golfer in the mind's eye. Regardless, Frodo thought that she actually went beyond the greed of one protecting their own assets to actually make a valid point about the definition of freedom.

The home used to be protected from "unreasonable search and seizure," that is until the Patriot Act came along, and all of a sudden there were exceptions.

Today the home could fall to the concept of "eminent domain," because of the efforts of individuals which would yield "higher and better" use of the land, thereby benefiting the community as a whole.

Frodo is not a speculator when it comes to the direction of the law. In the Shire it is said that "the law follows the will of Hobbits by 25 years." Frodo notes that today one can "purchase" a home with no money down, and pay only interest for several years. The "ownership" of that home does not stand in the hands of the occupant. It belongs to the bank.

Wasn't there a problem in the 1930's with people owing a lot of money to banks, and the loss of farms in Oklahoma and places like that? Frodo remembers a book that told of the movement of the homeless to California. It was called "The Grapes of Wrath."

Frodo always admired Tom Joad. He just never thought he'd run into him on the road to America's future.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:08 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, June 23, 2005 9:15 PM EDT
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me, I'm No Rich Man's Son
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Plaque 42W, Line 12"
George W. Bush announced today that he will be going to Vietnam in 2006. Thirty-seven years too late, Frodo adds.

Will he wear his flight suit? Will he take a tour of the Cambodian border in a Swift Boat? Will he visit the "Hanoi Hilton"? Will he look for human remains near the wreckage of a downed fighter plane? Will he take a mountain bike ride on the Ho Chi Minh Trail? Will he stand on the airstrip at Khe Sanh and look for the spot where Max Cleland lost three of his limbs? Will he visit a Vietnamese Military Cemetery?

Frodo listened to George W. Bush announce that the Vietnamese Government was acting to ensure greater religious freedom. Frodo remembers that it was Buddhist Monks setting themselves on fire to protest the actions of the heavily Catholic South Vietnamese that exacerbated the enmity between North and South. Religious freedom, any freedom, doesn't usually come without a price. As George W. Bush would say, "It is hard work."

George W. Bush wants John Bolton to "reform" the United Nations. Frodo remembers that it was the United States which failed to endorse the Geneva Accords of 1954. The Accords called for free and open elections in Vietnam. The United States objected because it was feared that the Communists would win the election. The United States of America stood against the right to vote. The United States lost almost 60,000 soldiers because we fought against freedom of religion and the right to vote.

Frodo believes that it is appropriate that George W. Bush go to Vietnam. Frodo hopes he apologizes for being just a little late.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:23 PM EDT
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Monday, June 20, 2005
Coming to America, Today!
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "50 Weeks of Reality TV"
When September came to the Shire, Frodo knew that he wanted to be the next Bert Parks. The fantasies of a young Hobbit were not wasted on one who sacrificed lust for ethics. Frodo could imagine what the decision-making process was truly like, but only when the Vanessa Williams controversy came to light was Frodo convinced that his fantasies touched upon reality. There was hanky-panky going on somewhere between the swimsuits and the talent portion of the show.

Frodo was distressed to learn that, with less than three months to go, no television network has picked up the broadcast rights for "The Miss America Pageant." Since the television contracts provide $5.8 million of the $6.9 million total revenue for the pageant, it is clear that the whole shebang (pun intended) is severely threatened.

Truth be told, the whole concept has gotten pretty dull, and that is why no network wants to cough up the cash to put on a show that not even Hobbits watch. What is interesting is that Mr. Art McMaster, CEO of the pageant, is promising to rework the entire framework of Miss America in order to adjust to the tastes of the viewing audience. Instead of a once-a-year special, McMaster is proposing several shows, akin to (gag) "American Idol."

Frodo imagines that such an initiative would require a panel of judges, capable of asessing the beauty, grace, talent, and sincerity of each candidate. Much like Paula Abdul apparently does as a judge on "American Idol." Given his willingness to serve when others hesitate, it seems only right that Frodo step forward to volunteer his services. 50 straight weeks is a daunting figure, but Frodo is up for it. Bert Parks, eat your heart out!

With all due respect to the intuition of friend Merry, it is true that Sam is once again, out of town.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 19, 2005
Willie, Mickey and the Duke
Mood:  energetic
Topic: "Glory Days"
"Tinker-to-Frodo-to-Chance" would be how history would have to re-write itself to accomodate the dreams of a Hobbit. Only the position fielded by the second baseman could serve the physical attributes of the smallest and the weakest. Perhaps that is why Frodo has always loved baseball, because it is the game that didn't exclude him.

In the Shire there is much invested in baseball. From the youngest years, fathers wait in interminable lines to register their sons in the best leagues in the choicest locations. Leagues and tournaments require travel to lands far beyond the Shire for children not yet in their teens.

There are no ballfields standing empty for a quick game between 8 or 9 good friends with one bat, and pieces of cardboard for bases. A horse-and-buggy is a more likely occurrence in the Shire than the kind of pick-up game that Frodo once knew. It is no longer a game, it is a development plan for professionals, and the stakes are enormous.

The Gallant Braves of the Shire are the social center of Summer in the South, and this year is unique among so many others. The Gallant Braves are riddled with injury, necessitating massive line-up changes just to field a team. Many of the players called up to play for the Gallant Braves are barely old enough to drink, much less vote. It has been a painful experience for the Gallant Braves to lose games because of inexperience.

Something is different, though, as the players have gotten used to each other. They are playing much better, and they are laughing. They are acting like they are supposed to be here, and they are enjoying it. Several of these young men are from the area around the Shire, and they are playing for the professional team in their home-town.

It is as if Frodo is watching the sons of some of those guys who used cardboard for bases, and only had one bat. Much has changed, but the smiles are the same.

Frodo may talk Sam into a night at the ballpark, and, in truth, there will not be a major objection. Sam noted on the first visit to Turner Field (built when Jane was in residence with Ted) that there were a more than adequate number of restrooms and stalls. Frodo, in order to avoid the "gender inequity in restroom availability legislation" which Sam has threatened to have introduced in the House of Representatives, does not propose outings without first determining the scope of facilities.

Sam will probably think the new guys are cute. Alas.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:24 PM EDT
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