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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
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"Queen of Memphis"
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"Qwest For Truth (2)"
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"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
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"Rocket Man" (5)
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"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
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"Satire-Apology to Mick"
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"Say Cheese"(7)
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"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
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"She is No Ma Kettle"
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"Sheep in Mindanao?"
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"Social Security" (7)
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
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"What, Me Worry?" (3)
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"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
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"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Reflections of The Way Life Used To Be
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Delano" (4)

Although never a member of the Fellowship, Delano has always been a special friend to Frodo, and to Sam.  Whereas Frodo was ambitious and curious, Delano was fun-loving, and charming.  Delano has always been, and with all due apologies to the feminine gender herein, the guy who could charm the pants off of any woman.  History is a guide.

Today Frodo returned from an overnight in reunion at Lake Lovey, with an old friend.  Fish were caught by Frodo's guile, and flames gently touched the garlic sauce, which dripped onto the charcoal, which browned the tender insides of the meal made for erstwhile kings.  Stories long legend where re-told and laughter long forgotten was recalled.  Frodo dropped a lime into the clear bottle, and offered one to his friend, but the offer was uncharacteristically rebuffed.

Lines were cast deep into the darkness, and continued until Frodo's friend surprisingly urged a return to the comfort of bed and hearth ashore.  Aland, Frodo found himself reaching out to grasp the arm, and to steady his friends' step as they climbed to the lights above the berth of the Minnow.  Once settled beneath the stars, and beside the citonella candles which guard against the most devilish of intruders, Delano lit a cigarette, and exhaled deep into the night sky.  Frodo was quizzical, but before he could offer comment, Delano spoke to his old friend.

"Frodo, I cannot drink, because of medication.  I cannot make love to even the grandest conquest of my life.  I have but one pleasure left, and it is mine to enjoy, as I have always done.  Let me say that the pain I have experienced has been more severe than any wound from any sword, and the intensity has been such that on many occasions, I have considered the only remedy."

Frodo tried to respond, but Delano continued, telling him that his life's partner had taken charge of all firearms, and had put them beyond his reach.  He told Frodo that the suffering had eased, and that he had found ways to adapt which no longer made the final remedy seem a matter of implementation, much less timing.

In the morn the two dropped line again, and Delano matched Frodo's catch of the evening past.  It was a matter of attainment for Delano, and of silent joy for Frodo.  Frodo was increasingly aware that many of the most bawdy and baudacious moments in his life had centered around the outrageous and unrepentant character who sailed this day with Frodo, and Mick, the Wonder Dog.  Wisdom teaching Frodo that all would probably not gather again in celebration as they did when Delano landed that struggling panfish at Lake Lovey. 

Frodo drove home, recalling the final words of Augustus to Woodrow, which befit the soliloquoy of those who have lived life as they wished, and who face its exit without regret.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 PM EDT
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Monday, June 23, 2008
Living In A Modern World
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Float Yer Boat" (4)

Several years ago, Frodo coveted a small pontoon boat he'd noticed sitting on a vacant lot near Lake Lovey.  Many times he'd genuflected in Sam's presence about how neatly it would serve the Hobbits and their canine adjutants.  Sam, ever sensitive to the needs of Mr. Frodo, noticed a "For Sale" sign on the property, and, unknown to Frodo, called the absentee owner.  The absentee owner, of course, was more interested in selling the vacant lot than he was the pontoon boat.  Sam, depressed, decided that that was that, and the effort was concluded.

Some months later, Sam received a telephone call from the absentee owner, who informed Sam that he had sold the property, and, if Sam were still interested, he would sell the pontoon boat.  Sam then divulged the situation to Frodo, who was, in a word, delirious.  Frodo and Sam then made arrangements to meet with the owner, and to strike a deal.  For months afterward, every Hobbit in the area inquired about the pontoon boat, only to learn that good Sam had beaten them to the punch.  Frodo was a very happy Hobbit.

Dubbed the "S.S. Minnow," Hobbits and canines, roughly equivalent to characters named Ginger, the Professor, Gilligan, the Skipper, Mary Ann, and Mrs. Howell, quickly found adequate space in order to float on a barge fit for Cleopatra herself.  When not fully-occupied, the Minnow served Frodo and friends for piscatorial adventures with rod, reel, and curious noses.  It has been Frodo's proudest capital asset.

During the prolonged drought in the areas about the Shire, dangerously-low water levels have exposed sharp-ended rocks to the bottom of the Minnow.  Several times, Frodo has found at least one of the pontoons filled with water, and the pontoon boat in danger of sinking.  Applying his questionable motor skills to problems of this nature is a study in futility.  Frodo is indeed, a lover, not a fighter; at least in instances such as this.

The crux of the problem has been that the pontoon boat, more than 30 years old, is no longer manufactured in the size and format of the Minnow.  Frodo is unable to simply buy a new pontoon, replace the leaky one, and go on about his business.  Further, he learned, aluminum is not easily patched, with solder or by any other process.  There are few substances which will adhere to aluminum and remain.  Frodo grew weary of draining the leaky pontoon every time he wanted to float the boat, so to speak.

The miracle of the Internet served Frodo once again.  His friend, Mr. Google, told him that a potential chemical product could be found at the sports megalith which sits inconveniently on Lake Lanier, many miles from the Shire.  Frodo scrimped and saved in order to afford sufficient gasoline to provide transportation to the retail establishment.  When at last he wandered into the arms of the waiting salesperson, he was introduced to an epoxy substance which apparently addressed all his needs.  Frodo was ecstatic.

Frodo visited Lake Lovey this past weekend, and set about the repairs on the Minnow.  When he opened the epoxy, he found that it bore a significant resemblance to what one might label as C-4 Explosive.  It was a gooey, malleable substance not quite as user-friendly as modelling clay.  Frodo was instructed to mold the substance for several minutes, then to spread over punctures within "9-to-14 minutes," since the substance quickly begins to harden.  Sam was worried, fearing that Mr. Frodo was about to adjoin himself to a pontoon, or perhaps, even worse, leave Mick, the Wonder Dog, as an attachment to the Minnow itself.

Somehow, things seemed to work well.  Frodo identified several small punctures, and patched each.  The epoxy seemed to properly set, harden, and to hold.  The test will be how the Minnow holds while tied to Frodo's dock of the bay.

Although Frodo is very proud of himself for, perhaps, having dealt with an insoluble problem on his own, his mood is better described as grumpy because of the need for all this activity in the first place. 

Huck and Tom had it better.   All they had to contend with was Injun Joe.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:54 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 22, 2008
Baby It's The Guitar Man
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Vero Possumus" (4)

On the day that Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) declared his candidacy for the Presidency of the United States in Springfield, Illinois, Frodo ordered a Tee Shirt and two bumper stickers.  Frodo has subsequently contributed to the Obama campaign, and he intends to do so again.  It was Frodo's opinion on that day that this young man was "Lincolnesque" in both stature and in his approach to the world at large.  Frodo had already determined that Obama was both older than John F. Kennedy, and had more time served in the Legislative Branch than had Abraham Lincoln, himself.  Subsequently, Frodo determined that Obama was older than both Jefferson, when penning the "Declaration of Independence," and Columbus, upon discovery of a "New World."  Frodo decided at that moment that the issue of age and experience would be of no consideration in his advocacy on behalf of the Junior Senator from Illinois.

Frodo made the assumption that Obama was much more "electable" than any of his competitors, and he was somewhat taken aback when he received similar but contradictory comments from friends and associates supporting other candidates.  Frodo was concerned when many of those people who have stood with him in prior struggles were so vehement in their rejection of one about whom they seemed to know so very little.  Truly, Frodo looked back and questioned his own judgment, simply to make sure that his hope and faith for the future had not clouded his assessment, or his investment. 

Frodo did not know that John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the right guy for his time until he watched him on the podium on the day of his Inauguration.  It was not the words which Frodo long ago memorized, and recalls with tears in his eyes from time-to-time, but it was the reaction of the President when a young man came flying down Pennsylvania Avenue amidst the snow and the cold, on the back of a live buffalo.  Kennedy called him back, to return to the viewing stand, so that he could shake his hand, and pat the buffalo.  Kennedy smiled, he laughed, he applauded, as the buffalo took off at a breakneck pace to contnue the parade  and to delight an entire nation (except, perhaps, for anyone named Nixon).

Frodo was not there to make a similar assessment about Mr. Lincoln, so he doesn't have a long and distinguished track record in this regard, but today, he has the exact same feeling he had on that bitter cold day in January, 1961.  Frodo became aware of the Latin motto on the Obama Campaign Seal, which appears as the Topic in this treatise. 

Frodo was struck by the fact that so much of what we say, and read, and believe, is rooted in the classical Latin.  How appropriate it is to link the cornerstone of a political campaign to the very heart of who we, the peoples of Middle Earth, are each to one another.  Frodo's courage, taking the Ring as his personal curse, when all others seemed adrift, was matched by those who joined with him, and sacrificed so much in order to combat evil, no matter its' form.  Lord Tolkien would have used a similar translation, had he thought of it first. 

"Vero possumus."

Yes we can.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:34 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 19, 2008
These Are Words That Go Together Well, My Michelle
Mood:  happy
Topic: "Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)

Frodo is, admittedly, a ladies man.  There has always been a special appreciation for a well-turned ankle, a coy grin, or any of the other weapons in the feminine arsenal which for purposes of this treatise will now be known as WMD (weapons of masculine dissolution?).  Given this predisposition, Frodo has always been sensitive, not only to the feelings of women but to accomplishments in the face of odds which are beyond the calculating tools at Frodo's disposal.  There are, of course, selfish reasons for Frodo's apparently mature stand in behalf of the opposite sex.  Frodo, too, has needs.

Before digressing into another, more provocative, perspective on sexuality, Frodo wants to return to his theme, and talk about the difficulty that exists in treating all women equally.  Some women scare the mortal hell out of Frodo.  He is just as intimidated by certain aspects of feminine behavior as he would be by Michael Tyson staring at his ear and referring to him as a "jive-ass honkey."  In his attempt to explain his opinion, within the bounds of political correctness, Frodo has been paying very close attention to the television appearances of Mrs. Cindy McCain and Mrs. Michelle Obama.  Politics aside, Frodo wants to merely present the biases that have colored his perspective on both of these prominent, accomplished, intelligent women.  Frodo will do so in one paragraph, each.  Afterwards, Frodo may take a short hiatus in order to avoid further bloodshed.

Cindy McCain was a character in "The Stepford Wives."  She has lasers for eyes (definitely a WMD), and uses them to undress every man who steps before her.  Mrs. McCain founded the Junior League, and it is her intent to have every male drafted into the seraglio maintained to benefit its membership.  Frodo is reminded of the advertisement with Joan Rivers commenting on her own facelifts, which leave her without any feeling much less the capacity to determine whether or not she is herself smiling.  Cindy McCain never carries more than $50 in cash (to avoid disclosing any financial information in the presence of surreptitious agents of the US Treasury).  Lastly, Mrs. McCain appears as if she were the center post around which the tethered volleyball (her husband, while wringing his hands in a somnambulistic trance) wraps itself on stage.

There, Frodo has disclosed what he really thinks (any similarity between these words and those of Tucker Carlson of the tightly-squeezed knees is purely unintentional).

Michelle Obama has won a gold medal in each of the last six Olympiads.  She can run faster, jump higher, and shoot a basketball far beyond the dreams of the Hobbit.  When angered, a "fist bump" becomes a WMD which can remove teeth or terminate any possibility of progeny.  Mrs. Obama is an attorney for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and she is determined to prosecute every male who has ever even dreamed of becoming a supervisor.  She also intends to avenge her older sister, Anita Hill.  Mrs. Obama never carries a purse (keeping both hands free for "fist bump" purposes), and the Secret Service Agents in her retinue always walk behind her carrying plastic water bottles (in case her husband has an uncontrollable cigarette urge).

Frodo will now retreat in order to consider the more prurient aspects of the relationship between political candidate and first spouse.  Now, dear reader, do you understand why Frodo supported Obama, and not Clinton?    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:04 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
Summertime And The Livin' Is Easy
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Equinoxious" (4)

Last evening, after the obligatory fifteen-minute downpour, the darkening shadows brought forth an armada of lightning bugs.  The gardenias began to give way to the magnolias, and there was a mixture of aroma and humidity which had already given birth to Faulkner, Morris, Jones, Sams, O'Connor, Welty, and Lee.  Frodo had spent the day relieving weeds of their struggle for dominance, and the gallant Braves were still an hour or two away from the commencement of their battle with warriors from the west coast.  This night it was easy to understand why alcohol is a corollary to the written word and why people who don't drink are so boring.

Frodo favors certain light beers, in a bottle; a clear one seems to hold the temperate nature best.  Adding a slice of lime is a nice touch learned courtesy of his most recent visit to Mexico.  Vodka, but certainly nothing packaged in plastic, mixed strongly with Mr. Rose's lime definition gives Frodo the kind of sip that succors just such a summer's eve past sunset but before the darkness surrounds him.  These are the moments of sounds unseen, and aromas, aromas familiar for a million years and a million miles away to those fortunate enough to have been swaddled in cotton grown and processed just down the road.  

Frodo feels like talking, but Sam is exploring a contemporary who writes of murder and mayhem.  Mick, the Wonder Dog, does not hold up well in warm weather, and is kicking nervously into the night in pursuit of rabbits in his memory.  So Frodo is alone, with his thoughts of duties to be done, but time better spent merely peering into the darkness, searching for secrets.

Willie Morris is in the corner with James Jones, and they are telling stories about their times together in New York City, when they owned the world, and lived to tell about it.  Harper Lee and Faulkner are smoking cigarettes, and whispering, about what no one can hear.  Flannery and Welty talk with their neighbor Dr. Sams, and at least one of them knows she has finally found a good man.  Frodo waltzes among his guests, Sam in tow, and  refreshes their drinks, without saying a word.  Then, when the clock is prepared to strike, the party comes to a conclusion, the darkness settles in, and Skip Caray takes command of the night. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:46 PM EDT
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Friday, June 13, 2008
When The Light Goes Out In The City
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)

It must have been tough going down in that B-24, on fire, surviving the crash, but feeling the pustules form all over your back had to make you feel helpless.  You got through it though, with a little help from a lot of friends.

It must have been as if life was no longer worth living when she died, your life partner.  Two daughters and a loving son, and that unbelievably supportive hometown, were there to bring things back and let you find your way.

Time kept marching on though, and some changes had to be made.  You finally agree to move out of the old homeplace, in order to have closer attention.  Your sadness is masked by the people who keep coming by, checking on you.

Father's Day is upon you now, and you know that the kids will come together and bring the grandkids.  That's the best part, isn't it?

Well "Big Russ," you've certainly been dealt a pair of deuces in this hand, haven't you?  Losing your only Son, any child, has to be the cruelest twist of Fate's accomplices.

Frodo is shuffling around in the Gardens of the Shire this evening, and, not unlike Hobbits everywhere, feeling a little bit of self-pity for the disappearance from his black-and-white of someone whom he had never met; yet someone he had come to trust.  Frodo would like to tell "Big Russ" that he has every reason to celebrate the days he has had, but outliving your Son is something he cannot reconcile.

Peace, kind Sir.  Frodo weeps for you, you are never alone.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EDT
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Put Me In Coach, I'm Ready To Play
Mood:  energetic
Topic: "Clone Chipper,Please"(4)

Ted Williams, of the Boston Red Sox, ended the 1941 baseball season with a batting average of .406.  Since no subsequent Major League player has even approximated safely hitting a batted ball as much as 40% of the time, it is unsurprising that a record which has stood for 67 years and is only now somewhat threatened, is beginning to attract attention throughout the World of Sports.  Chipper Jones, of Frodo's beloved gallant Braves, has a batting average of .421, better than one-third of the way through the 2008 season.  Despite the accomplishment, the Fates have thrown all of their combined fury at his teammates, as player-after-player falls to injury-after-injury. 

True to character, Frodo recognizes that action must be taken.  Tonight he sent an e-mail to Bobby Cox, Manager of the beleaguered Braves, volunteering his services.  Frodo did this despite the fact that he was eligible to vote when the oldest current Brave was born.  Frodo would be the only member of the current Braves who actually had seen Ted Williams play baseball.  Desperate circumstances call for drastic action.

Tonight the gallant Braves are getting shelled by the Cubs from Chicago.  Chicago, as most know, is the community that only experiences two seasons annually, and that is, of course, both winter and the Fourth of July.  Rational people do not live in such climates, and those who do generally offer their wives as entertainment for weary travelers who must spend a night in the owner's igloo.   Perhaps that fact explains why the Braves are playing as if all their collective energies have been spent.  Things would, indeed, be different if Frodo were on the field.

Frodo envisions himself as the old-time ballplayer.  You know, dear reader, the guy who "takes one for the team."  Frodo would, when first at bat, lean out across the plate and suffer being struck by the pitched ball from the Cubs hurler.  Then, when Chipper hit the ball into the gap between outfielders, Frodo would cross the plate and score the first run of the game for the gallant Braves. 

The next at-bat, Frodo would diligently tap any pitched ball crossing the plate into foul territory.  Figuring that he would exhaust the opposing pitcher, and still attain first-base when the fourth pitched ball was called a "Ball," he would again score a run when the magnificent Mr. Jones drove him "Home."

This process would continue throughout the game, and since Frodo would step up to the plate probably four times, it would mean that the gallant Braves would have four runs in their column.  Unfortunately, neither Frodo nor Chipper can pitch, so that would mean that success would require similar action by at least seven others from the Fellowship, simply to match the total score amassed by the Cubs.

Perhaps Merry could crouch way down and present a strike-zone way too small for any pitcher to notch as many as three strikes.  Eowyn, from the Lands where the smallest still play baseball, could wring a synthetic tear afront the umpire and win his decision to award first base to one so sincere.  Where there is Fellowship, there is always hope.

Of course, it would also be nice if you had somebody who could pitch.  Maybe next year.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:01 PM EDT
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Monday, June 9, 2008
They Say That Makin' Up Is Hard To Do
Mood:  down
Topic: "Eight Nine Four" (4)

The absence of intellectual curiosity, the lack of familiarity with different cultures, and the unwillingness to compromise, are what polite people say highlight the weaknesses of George W. Bush.  It goes without saying, dear reader, that George W. Bush has never earned anything.  The privileges of wealth gained him academic entrance, business opportunity, and political gain.  Frodo differs from the polite by his insistence upon his belief that Bush is a true moron. 

"Moron" is defined, in part, by Webster as "a very stupid person."  The very general nature of that definition gives Frodo considerable leeway in his assessment of the failures produced by George W. Bush.  Frodo asserts that Bush always did just enough to get by, knowing that he would be bailed out if necessary.  The "Iraq Study Group," for example, was called initially by Republican friends of Daddy Bush, like James Baker, to politely re-direct attention to some avenue of exit from the morass.  Junior, it seems, was too big for a spanking, but not smart enough to figure that out for himself.

Soon, this will all be behind us, or will it?  Frodo actually experienced a little perecardial infarction today when he discovered the standing of John McCain in his graduating class at the Naval Academy.  Among a class of 899, John McCain, the inheritor of a string of Naval Academy graduates, whose father was an Admiral, ranked fifth from the bottom. 

In his own mind, Frodo envisions McCain standing on the podium in St. Paul Minnesota, accepting the Republican nomination for the Presidency, while the enthralled chant (as opposed to "Four More Years'):

"894."  "894."  "894."

The only mystery left to the imagination would be the comparative standing of George W. Bush in the same class.  Frodo thinks it would've ended in a tie.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:00 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 8, 2008
Take My Heart, My Soul, My Money
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Furriners" (4)

At one time in earlier days, Frodo had dreams of the Foreign Service.  James Bond kind of foreign service that is, you know, shaken but not stirred.  Once he got serious about his future, and realized his true obligations, he never lost interest in "foreign policy," and has prided himself in often being a source of information for people who don't seem to let ignorance be an obstacle to the formation of opinion. 

Frodo once listened intently as a pilot for a large international airline went on and on about the future of Puerto Rico.  Since he flew into San Juan regularly he felt that qualified him to tell everyone else how to solve the problems at hand.  He felt, strongly, that the United States should simply give Puerto Rico their independence, since that was what the people wanted.  Frodo, after a sip of his wine glass, asked the gentleman if he spoke Spanish.  Frodo already knew the answer.  Frodo asked the gentleman if he was familiar with a particular political party in Puerto Rico.  Frodo already knew the answer.  Frodo then proceeded to explain, succinctly, to the gentleman that the fallacy in his suggestion was that he was assuming that the Puerto Rican people desired either Statehood or Independence.  Frodo informed him that approximately one-third of those people wanted to keep their present situation as a Commonwealth.  The result being that the Puerto Rican people were divided three ways, not two, in terms of what they felt was best for their own futures.

Frodo has made it a point to never again fly that particular airline.

Germany has more invested in the southeastern states of the United States of America, than the entire investment of the European Union in China.  Frodo knows that the motorcar manufacturers, and the real estate investors, and the chemical processors have made substantial investments all around the Shire.  The Germans, and the French, and the Dutch, and the Italians, and all the rest, have not found it advisable to build cars, establish plants, or buy real estate in China.  Nor are they buying tennis shoes, cheap textiles, or electronic games and toys.  Yet, the Chinese maintain a huge trade surplus, while the US of A continues accumulating a trade deficit.  It follows, logically, that the US of A does have an appetite for tennis shoes, computer games, and t-shirts.

Frodo is making a point here, dear reader, so your indulgence please.  His point being that the $4.00 average cost-per-gallon of gasoline, which will of course be outdated by the time this treatise is completed, is a reflection of the increased demand for petroleum products by countries who are cash rich(er) than the US of A, like China, specifically.

Frodo has a suggestion, taking political and economic reality for granted, and would like to submit it for your consideration, dear reader.  Why not simply ask the Chinese how plans are coming along for the Beijing Olympics?  Tell them, in so many words, that the US of A is really looking forward to kicking their butts competitively, and that thousands of Americans are planning to visit, while millions watch on TV.  That is, of course, if we are able to overcome our current economic malaise.

The word, dear reader, is leverage; oft used by Thomas Friedman, and almost everybody else who has no faith whatsoever in the Bush Administration.  Would it not seem logical, suggests Frodo, to simply point out to the Chinese that the current valuation of their currency to that of the dollar is out-of-whack, and that the situation has become so severe that the US of A may have to stay home?

Once the tar-stained fingers lit another cigarette, and beads of sweat formed on foreheads all across China, a suggestion could be offered to turn the tide even quicker than an oil tanker could reverse course in the Strait of Hormuz.  "Why not," suggests Ambassador Frodo, "ask your Treasury people to get together with our Treasury people, and set a new valuation to the dollar?"  Frodo would offer that decreasing the Chinese currency by, say, 50%, would mean that the Chinese would have to pay much, much more for petroleum products, and that would most likely mean that they would have to reduce their demand.  Ergo, the price of something with lessened demand falls.  At the same time, the US of A would be paying a whole lot less for the t-shirts and frozen catfish imported from China.

Should the suggestion not be warmly received, it might be a good idea to start planning for a good-sized track meet in someplace closer to home.

Foreign policy and business go hand-in-hand.  You certainly should have expected a Harvard MBA to know that, as opposed to having to go and unsuccessfully kiss the ass of some sheik of the burning sand, again.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:30 PM EDT
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Saturday, June 7, 2008
They're Out There Havin' Fun In That Warm California Sun
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Hraka" (4)

Rabbits have a rough time in the Shire.  The tasty flora are a temptation worth the risk however, so the night time visitors grow bolder despite the danger, and they are now visible almost any time of the day.  Hawks use the area as a flyway, and coyotes patrol beyond the fences with a measure of regularity.  Crossing nearby lanes ends the chase for love-starved suitors from time-to-time.  Beau Neau has not pursued an adult as yet, but has accounted for the premature demise of several babies.  Fiona is instinctively drawn to hidden nests, and some sort of inherited programming requires that her jaws abruptly separate life from the act of discovery.  Frodo has very mixed feelings about all of this, and it has to do with the great anthropomorphic novel by Richard Adams, "Watership Down."  

Frodo gives human qualities to rabbits, much as he does to the chimpanzees of Jane Goodall. To Frodo, the beauty of the rabbit is exceeded only by his simple lack of foresight.  Despite the apparent wisdom of an occasional leader in the warren, the majority of rabbits seem prepared only to escape, but with no idea where.  On several occasions, Mick, the Wonder Dog, has flushed a rabbit from the underbrush only to see the play object-scamper directly toward Frodo; perhaps sensing that Frodo is a gentler soul and slow of foot.

Frodo can occasionally identify a particular rabbit by sight.  He tries not to do so, simply because the mortality of the subjects is limited.  A female, who has produced multiple offspring, with almost universal futility, was struck by a motorcar, probably driven by a newspaper deliveryperson otherwise distracted, just the other morning.  She was so soft, Frodo was glad only that the end had been apparently quick, and suffering was minimal.  Death is a constant among those who visit the Shire, but losing something so soft and beautiful cannot pass unnoticed.

Frodo will miss the little lady, and cannot help but hope that another will soon take her place, even if it means sacrificing a few flowers along the way.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:59 PM EDT
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