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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
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"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
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"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
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"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
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"Past is Prologue" (3)
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"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
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"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
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"Preemptive Invasion"
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"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
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"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
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"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
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"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
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"Rules" (7)
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"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
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"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
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"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
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"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
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"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
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"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
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"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
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"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
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"Six Days on the Road"
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"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
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"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
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"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
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"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
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"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
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"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
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"Thar She Blows"
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"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"W is for Wuss""
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
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"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
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"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
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"Wedding Bell Blues"
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"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
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"What Goes Around" (6)
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"What Mark Felt"
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"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
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"Who dat?" (2)
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"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
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"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
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"Wither Weather?"(4)
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"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
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"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
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"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
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"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Summertime And The Livin' Is Easy
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Equinoxious" (4)

Last evening, after the obligatory fifteen-minute downpour, the darkening shadows brought forth an armada of lightning bugs.  The gardenias began to give way to the magnolias, and there was a mixture of aroma and humidity which had already given birth to Faulkner, Morris, Jones, Sams, O'Connor, Welty, and Lee.  Frodo had spent the day relieving weeds of their struggle for dominance, and the gallant Braves were still an hour or two away from the commencement of their battle with warriors from the west coast.  This night it was easy to understand why alcohol is a corollary to the written word and why people who don't drink are so boring.

Frodo favors certain light beers, in a bottle; a clear one seems to hold the temperate nature best.  Adding a slice of lime is a nice touch learned courtesy of his most recent visit to Mexico.  Vodka, but certainly nothing packaged in plastic, mixed strongly with Mr. Rose's lime definition gives Frodo the kind of sip that succors just such a summer's eve past sunset but before the darkness surrounds him.  These are the moments of sounds unseen, and aromas, aromas familiar for a million years and a million miles away to those fortunate enough to have been swaddled in cotton grown and processed just down the road.  

Frodo feels like talking, but Sam is exploring a contemporary who writes of murder and mayhem.  Mick, the Wonder Dog, does not hold up well in warm weather, and is kicking nervously into the night in pursuit of rabbits in his memory.  So Frodo is alone, with his thoughts of duties to be done, but time better spent merely peering into the darkness, searching for secrets.

Willie Morris is in the corner with James Jones, and they are telling stories about their times together in New York City, when they owned the world, and lived to tell about it.  Harper Lee and Faulkner are smoking cigarettes, and whispering, about what no one can hear.  Flannery and Welty talk with their neighbor Dr. Sams, and at least one of them knows she has finally found a good man.  Frodo waltzes among his guests, Sam in tow, and  refreshes their drinks, without saying a word.  Then, when the clock is prepared to strike, the party comes to a conclusion, the darkness settles in, and Skip Caray takes command of the night. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:46 PM EDT
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Friday, June 13, 2008
When The Light Goes Out In The City
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)

It must have been tough going down in that B-24, on fire, surviving the crash, but feeling the pustules form all over your back had to make you feel helpless.  You got through it though, with a little help from a lot of friends.

It must have been as if life was no longer worth living when she died, your life partner.  Two daughters and a loving son, and that unbelievably supportive hometown, were there to bring things back and let you find your way.

Time kept marching on though, and some changes had to be made.  You finally agree to move out of the old homeplace, in order to have closer attention.  Your sadness is masked by the people who keep coming by, checking on you.

Father's Day is upon you now, and you know that the kids will come together and bring the grandkids.  That's the best part, isn't it?

Well "Big Russ," you've certainly been dealt a pair of deuces in this hand, haven't you?  Losing your only Son, any child, has to be the cruelest twist of Fate's accomplices.

Frodo is shuffling around in the Gardens of the Shire this evening, and, not unlike Hobbits everywhere, feeling a little bit of self-pity for the disappearance from his black-and-white of someone whom he had never met; yet someone he had come to trust.  Frodo would like to tell "Big Russ" that he has every reason to celebrate the days he has had, but outliving your Son is something he cannot reconcile.

Peace, kind Sir.  Frodo weeps for you, you are never alone.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EDT
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Put Me In Coach, I'm Ready To Play
Mood:  energetic
Topic: "Clone Chipper,Please"(4)

Ted Williams, of the Boston Red Sox, ended the 1941 baseball season with a batting average of .406.  Since no subsequent Major League player has even approximated safely hitting a batted ball as much as 40% of the time, it is unsurprising that a record which has stood for 67 years and is only now somewhat threatened, is beginning to attract attention throughout the World of Sports.  Chipper Jones, of Frodo's beloved gallant Braves, has a batting average of .421, better than one-third of the way through the 2008 season.  Despite the accomplishment, the Fates have thrown all of their combined fury at his teammates, as player-after-player falls to injury-after-injury. 

True to character, Frodo recognizes that action must be taken.  Tonight he sent an e-mail to Bobby Cox, Manager of the beleaguered Braves, volunteering his services.  Frodo did this despite the fact that he was eligible to vote when the oldest current Brave was born.  Frodo would be the only member of the current Braves who actually had seen Ted Williams play baseball.  Desperate circumstances call for drastic action.

Tonight the gallant Braves are getting shelled by the Cubs from Chicago.  Chicago, as most know, is the community that only experiences two seasons annually, and that is, of course, both winter and the Fourth of July.  Rational people do not live in such climates, and those who do generally offer their wives as entertainment for weary travelers who must spend a night in the owner's igloo.   Perhaps that fact explains why the Braves are playing as if all their collective energies have been spent.  Things would, indeed, be different if Frodo were on the field.

Frodo envisions himself as the old-time ballplayer.  You know, dear reader, the guy who "takes one for the team."  Frodo would, when first at bat, lean out across the plate and suffer being struck by the pitched ball from the Cubs hurler.  Then, when Chipper hit the ball into the gap between outfielders, Frodo would cross the plate and score the first run of the game for the gallant Braves. 

The next at-bat, Frodo would diligently tap any pitched ball crossing the plate into foul territory.  Figuring that he would exhaust the opposing pitcher, and still attain first-base when the fourth pitched ball was called a "Ball," he would again score a run when the magnificent Mr. Jones drove him "Home."

This process would continue throughout the game, and since Frodo would step up to the plate probably four times, it would mean that the gallant Braves would have four runs in their column.  Unfortunately, neither Frodo nor Chipper can pitch, so that would mean that success would require similar action by at least seven others from the Fellowship, simply to match the total score amassed by the Cubs.

Perhaps Merry could crouch way down and present a strike-zone way too small for any pitcher to notch as many as three strikes.  Eowyn, from the Lands where the smallest still play baseball, could wring a synthetic tear afront the umpire and win his decision to award first base to one so sincere.  Where there is Fellowship, there is always hope.

Of course, it would also be nice if you had somebody who could pitch.  Maybe next year.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:01 PM EDT
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Monday, June 9, 2008
They Say That Makin' Up Is Hard To Do
Mood:  down
Topic: "Eight Nine Four" (4)

The absence of intellectual curiosity, the lack of familiarity with different cultures, and the unwillingness to compromise, are what polite people say highlight the weaknesses of George W. Bush.  It goes without saying, dear reader, that George W. Bush has never earned anything.  The privileges of wealth gained him academic entrance, business opportunity, and political gain.  Frodo differs from the polite by his insistence upon his belief that Bush is a true moron. 

"Moron" is defined, in part, by Webster as "a very stupid person."  The very general nature of that definition gives Frodo considerable leeway in his assessment of the failures produced by George W. Bush.  Frodo asserts that Bush always did just enough to get by, knowing that he would be bailed out if necessary.  The "Iraq Study Group," for example, was called initially by Republican friends of Daddy Bush, like James Baker, to politely re-direct attention to some avenue of exit from the morass.  Junior, it seems, was too big for a spanking, but not smart enough to figure that out for himself.

Soon, this will all be behind us, or will it?  Frodo actually experienced a little perecardial infarction today when he discovered the standing of John McCain in his graduating class at the Naval Academy.  Among a class of 899, John McCain, the inheritor of a string of Naval Academy graduates, whose father was an Admiral, ranked fifth from the bottom. 

In his own mind, Frodo envisions McCain standing on the podium in St. Paul Minnesota, accepting the Republican nomination for the Presidency, while the enthralled chant (as opposed to "Four More Years'):

"894."  "894."  "894."

The only mystery left to the imagination would be the comparative standing of George W. Bush in the same class.  Frodo thinks it would've ended in a tie.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:00 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 8, 2008
Take My Heart, My Soul, My Money
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Furriners" (4)

At one time in earlier days, Frodo had dreams of the Foreign Service.  James Bond kind of foreign service that is, you know, shaken but not stirred.  Once he got serious about his future, and realized his true obligations, he never lost interest in "foreign policy," and has prided himself in often being a source of information for people who don't seem to let ignorance be an obstacle to the formation of opinion. 

Frodo once listened intently as a pilot for a large international airline went on and on about the future of Puerto Rico.  Since he flew into San Juan regularly he felt that qualified him to tell everyone else how to solve the problems at hand.  He felt, strongly, that the United States should simply give Puerto Rico their independence, since that was what the people wanted.  Frodo, after a sip of his wine glass, asked the gentleman if he spoke Spanish.  Frodo already knew the answer.  Frodo asked the gentleman if he was familiar with a particular political party in Puerto Rico.  Frodo already knew the answer.  Frodo then proceeded to explain, succinctly, to the gentleman that the fallacy in his suggestion was that he was assuming that the Puerto Rican people desired either Statehood or Independence.  Frodo informed him that approximately one-third of those people wanted to keep their present situation as a Commonwealth.  The result being that the Puerto Rican people were divided three ways, not two, in terms of what they felt was best for their own futures.

Frodo has made it a point to never again fly that particular airline.

Germany has more invested in the southeastern states of the United States of America, than the entire investment of the European Union in China.  Frodo knows that the motorcar manufacturers, and the real estate investors, and the chemical processors have made substantial investments all around the Shire.  The Germans, and the French, and the Dutch, and the Italians, and all the rest, have not found it advisable to build cars, establish plants, or buy real estate in China.  Nor are they buying tennis shoes, cheap textiles, or electronic games and toys.  Yet, the Chinese maintain a huge trade surplus, while the US of A continues accumulating a trade deficit.  It follows, logically, that the US of A does have an appetite for tennis shoes, computer games, and t-shirts.

Frodo is making a point here, dear reader, so your indulgence please.  His point being that the $4.00 average cost-per-gallon of gasoline, which will of course be outdated by the time this treatise is completed, is a reflection of the increased demand for petroleum products by countries who are cash rich(er) than the US of A, like China, specifically.

Frodo has a suggestion, taking political and economic reality for granted, and would like to submit it for your consideration, dear reader.  Why not simply ask the Chinese how plans are coming along for the Beijing Olympics?  Tell them, in so many words, that the US of A is really looking forward to kicking their butts competitively, and that thousands of Americans are planning to visit, while millions watch on TV.  That is, of course, if we are able to overcome our current economic malaise.

The word, dear reader, is leverage; oft used by Thomas Friedman, and almost everybody else who has no faith whatsoever in the Bush Administration.  Would it not seem logical, suggests Frodo, to simply point out to the Chinese that the current valuation of their currency to that of the dollar is out-of-whack, and that the situation has become so severe that the US of A may have to stay home?

Once the tar-stained fingers lit another cigarette, and beads of sweat formed on foreheads all across China, a suggestion could be offered to turn the tide even quicker than an oil tanker could reverse course in the Strait of Hormuz.  "Why not," suggests Ambassador Frodo, "ask your Treasury people to get together with our Treasury people, and set a new valuation to the dollar?"  Frodo would offer that decreasing the Chinese currency by, say, 50%, would mean that the Chinese would have to pay much, much more for petroleum products, and that would most likely mean that they would have to reduce their demand.  Ergo, the price of something with lessened demand falls.  At the same time, the US of A would be paying a whole lot less for the t-shirts and frozen catfish imported from China.

Should the suggestion not be warmly received, it might be a good idea to start planning for a good-sized track meet in someplace closer to home.

Foreign policy and business go hand-in-hand.  You certainly should have expected a Harvard MBA to know that, as opposed to having to go and unsuccessfully kiss the ass of some sheik of the burning sand, again.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:30 PM EDT
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Saturday, June 7, 2008
They're Out There Havin' Fun In That Warm California Sun
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Hraka" (4)

Rabbits have a rough time in the Shire.  The tasty flora are a temptation worth the risk however, so the night time visitors grow bolder despite the danger, and they are now visible almost any time of the day.  Hawks use the area as a flyway, and coyotes patrol beyond the fences with a measure of regularity.  Crossing nearby lanes ends the chase for love-starved suitors from time-to-time.  Beau Neau has not pursued an adult as yet, but has accounted for the premature demise of several babies.  Fiona is instinctively drawn to hidden nests, and some sort of inherited programming requires that her jaws abruptly separate life from the act of discovery.  Frodo has very mixed feelings about all of this, and it has to do with the great anthropomorphic novel by Richard Adams, "Watership Down."  

Frodo gives human qualities to rabbits, much as he does to the chimpanzees of Jane Goodall. To Frodo, the beauty of the rabbit is exceeded only by his simple lack of foresight.  Despite the apparent wisdom of an occasional leader in the warren, the majority of rabbits seem prepared only to escape, but with no idea where.  On several occasions, Mick, the Wonder Dog, has flushed a rabbit from the underbrush only to see the play object-scamper directly toward Frodo; perhaps sensing that Frodo is a gentler soul and slow of foot.

Frodo can occasionally identify a particular rabbit by sight.  He tries not to do so, simply because the mortality of the subjects is limited.  A female, who has produced multiple offspring, with almost universal futility, was struck by a motorcar, probably driven by a newspaper deliveryperson otherwise distracted, just the other morning.  She was so soft, Frodo was glad only that the end had been apparently quick, and suffering was minimal.  Death is a constant among those who visit the Shire, but losing something so soft and beautiful cannot pass unnoticed.

Frodo will miss the little lady, and cannot help but hope that another will soon take her place, even if it means sacrificing a few flowers along the way.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:59 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 5, 2008
Do This, Don't Do That, Can't You Read The Sign?
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Seems Like Yesterday"(4)

While preparing for this morning's trek up Mount Doom, Frodo was ruminating through wheat and barley product, searching for raisins, and listening to Don Imus discuss current events with Tim Russert.  RFDTV connects to Frodo's breakfast table via satellite, and the radio in Frodo's motorcar is tuned to ABC out of New York City, so that he can catch an entire interview if it merits attention.  This morning Tim Russert said something that truly surprised Frodo, and brought a sense of perspective to the enormity of the events of the past few days.

Russert told Imus that he had gone to the Pentagon to interview former Secretary of State Colin Powell.  Although he did not indicate the date, it had to be no later than 2004.  During the interview, he said, he felt the effect of too much coffee, and asked Secretary Powell to excuse him for a moment, and to direct him to a Men's Room.  Secretary Powell responded by telling Russert to simply step into the hall and walk until he saw an open lavatory door.  "There are, you know," Powell said, "two, everywhere you see one."  Russert paused, and asked Powell what he meant by that, but realized the answer as soon as he asked the question.

The Pentagon was designed and built with separate bathrooms for blacks and whites. 

The Pentagon, the largest office building in the world, and the bastion of command for the most powerful military in the history of mankind, was built to accommodate segregation of the races.  Frodo, not unlike both Russert and Imus, was stunned by the revelation.  "Imagine," thought Frodo, "that there are a myriad of young black men and women buried within spitting distance of that building, who died in defense of our country, and they couldn't even piss in the same room with George C. Marshall, or any other soldier who just happened to be white."

Jeff Greenfield gave a memorial report on tonight's "CBS Evening News," recalling his experience at age 24, 40 years ago today, as a speechwriter for Robert Frances Kennedy.   When the last light flickered off the fallen body, held by a young Asian waiter, Katie Courick asked Greenfield if it didn't seem like such a long time ago.

"It seems like yesterday," he said.

There is so much to remember.  There is so much to forget.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:54 PM EDT
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Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Here I Am
Mood:  special
Topic: "Aragorn" (4)

In the movie "The Return of the King," Aragorn appears on horseback as the army of Middle Earth stands before the Black Gate.  At the same moment, Frodo and Sam battle Gollum above the fires of Mount Doom, in order to destroy the Ring.  Sauron and all his evil forces are massed against the Hobbits, the Men of Gondor, the Riders of Rohan, Elves, Dwarves, and the badly outnumbered fighters from all of Middle Earth.  Aragorn knows that he must buy time for the Hobbit, but the cost will be great, and he must somehow inspire, and lead.  He calls to those who recognize the danger they face and the battle they must fight, with his sword aloft, and his steed in stride, he proclaims "For Frodo."

Perhaps Aragorn was not the strongest, or the most experienced, of those in the Fellowship who gathered with Frodo on his quest.  It was he, however, who picked up the broken Sword and forged, time-after-time, victories afield or in court.  It was not without cost that he rode toward the Black Gate ahead of all the soldiers who followed him against that which challenged Middle Earth.  His ride was, perhaps, in a word, providential.

On the day that Barack Obama will speak before the Democratic Party Convention in Denver, Providence has decided that it will be on the forty-fifth anniversary of a speech given by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  In that speech, King stated that "I have a dream today."  He went on to say that he dreamed of a day when the content of character will determine judgment, as opposed to the color of skin.  Frodo could go on and on about words which have driven him over many obstacles, and guided him when he felt lost and alone.  It was as if King's words were meant specifically, for Frodo.  King, perhaps, was giving Frodo time to overcome Gollum, and to destroy the Ring.

Aragorn never speaks the words "For Frodo" in Lord Tolkiens' final book.  The addition of the verbiage in the cinematic presentation is editorial license.  Lord Tolkien, had he felt the need for an inspirational moment, would have probably given Aragorn the words "For Middle Earth."  It is striking however, given the amazing turnabout and results of this particular election, concluding in a concentrated time-frame, that it corresponds to the anniversary of a real "Return of the King." 

Providential.  A very interesting word, and one that Frodo will hold close abreast as events pass before his eyes.  Some things, it seems, are almost meant to be, and coincidence is a word easily dismissed.  Perhaps we are but actors, moved about on a board as pawns and knights.  Frodo may indeed be written into the drama to stand for those smaller, weaker, but ever-willing to serve the common good.  The game will be determined by those who believe, and who join together. 

Frodo will take notes.    



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:37 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 1, 2008
Goodnight Irene, I'll See You In My Dreams
Mood:  hungry
Topic: "Day of Infamy" (4)

June 2, 1932, dawned like any other day for Mr. George Perry.  One can imagine that the Depression hit hardest for those in farming communities like his in south central Georgia.  If there was no work in a textile mill or on a large farm, then it fell upon him to somehow provide food for his family.  On this particular day, George Perry had it in his mind to catch a "mess" of fish in a nearby farm pond.  What followed from that decision has impacted on the lives of thousands, if not millions, of people ever since.

Seventy-six years ago this Monday, George Perry landed a 22-pound, 4-ounce largemouth bass, arguably what has since become the most sought-after freshwater angling record in the world.  Frodo, in his quest to surpass Mr. Perry, has achieved 7 pounds, 1-ounce in his closest approximation.  Frodo keeps a number of pictures comparing his "lunker" to small dogs, a grown Hobbit, and an ice chest.  Frodo can only imagine equivalent comparisons to Mr. Perry's catch.  Although Frodo has never seen the site of that magnificent event, he understands it to be a rather modest spot, and that no one is really sure what Mr. Perry used for "bait" (although Frodo assumes it was probably a live goat, a la "Jurassic Park").

Frodo has been a generous contributor to the largely-American industry which supplies paraphenalia to assist in the effort to best George Perry.  Frodo has lures that fizzle, pop, go whirl, twirl, sink, float, dive, and fully expects to someday own one which actually flies.  Frodo notes that this singular achievement is, indeed, a world record, and that these American manufactured goods are exported to largemouth bass pursuers in almost every nation in the world.  Saudi Arabia and Iceland are unfortunately not active trading partners with the US of A in this regard however.  What is most amazing about all of this is that a multi-billion dollar industry has grown from the simple fact that a good old boy just went fishin'.

For explainable reasons, Frodo envisions Mr. Perry as looking a lot like Jed Clampett.  Which then raises fond memories of "Elly Mae."

Frodo has been working too hard.  Maybe he needs to go fishin'. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:15 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
Cast Your Destined Spell My Way
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Scott Free" (4)

Motivation is not a subject matter in Frodo's vocabulary.  Although Frodo greatly enjoys the product of motivation, particularly by a group of athletes, he learned a long time ago to never assume that he understands the specifics behind any form of human behavior.   He once heard that there is a "Harvard Law of Behavior," which states that "Under carefully controlled laboratory conditions, human beings behave as they damn well please."  "Who," asks Frodo, am I to argue with anyone from Harvard?  Especially if that individual had anything to do with granting admittance to George W. Bush."

The second of the four Press Secretaries who have served the Incomparable Moron will be on every television channel this day, with the possible exceptions of Animal Planet and the Weather Channel.  The provocative publication, written without the assistance of ghosts or anyone named Bush, is being quoted in part almost everywhere.  From overheard conversations about possible cocaine use to direct prevarication by senior staff, the quotations even unsettle Barney and Laura.  Frodo, as usual, listens with the jaundiced ear of one who recognizes that there are many, and varied, reasons for a shrimpy little guy to write a book.  Not all of the reasons are green.

Frodo has found that, over the years, his athletic accomplishments as a teenager have been magnified, at least in his own mind and recollections.  Perhaps, Frodo supposes, the significance of ones' involvement in matters of great public policy is similarly recalled by those who stood in the hallway or poured the coffee.  By the same token however, Frodo was a pretty good athlete, and big-mouth Texans do tend to brag, publicly.  Could it be that, despite any knowledge of his motivations, Mr. McClellan has chronicled some things that might otherwise never have been viewed in order to shine light on this increasingly dark period in American History? 

Frodo's speculation is that there is substance herein.  He says so because of the nature of the response, at least so far.  Even Katie Couric was able to assemble the incredibly similar verbiage which emanated from Bartlett, Fleischer, and Dana Whatever-her-last-name is.  None of the respondees seemed to "recognize" the guy they knew as the same person authoring something so salacious.  Amazing it was that Karl Rove also used almost exactly the same words. 

With a little less than six months to go before the long national nightmare is pushed aside, and a replacement is identified, Frodo worries about the damage done.  The coming Presidency is not an enviable task.  There are pressures, foreign and domestic, which challenge the very framework of the system itself.  Frodo cannot help but remember how he was reassured, after each of the past two elections, that the "experience" of the winners would work to our national benefit. 

That was, of course, before Scott wrote the book.  Maybe John McCain should read the book before he speaks further about "experience."  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:14 AM EDT
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