Mood:  crushed out

Non-public statements which become public knowledge are part of Frodo's avocational interest in politics.  With the exception of professional sports and the journalists who cover them, nobody does it better than politicians and those who tend to write books two years later.  The Senior Senator from Nevada, and the former Governor of Alaska appear in a new book today as if they had planned to appear naked and let small children discover that neither was wearing clothes.  Sam is an advocate of greater research into the true and untold story of the 2008 Republican Presidential candidates, and their spouses.

Sir Todd, we know, has a multi-year documented membership in a white supremacist organization which the Vice Presidential aspirant tried to ignore.  It can safely be assumed that Senator McCain at some point in time became aware of Todd's buddies, and Frodo would like to go on record as saying that he truly believes McCain was not thrilled.

The real unknown however, is the relationship between Cindy McCain and Sarah.  In silence, Frodo has spent countless hours searching Cindy's face whenever she shared a public appearance with "The Flying None."  As a lifelong student of feminine expressions, Frodo has a self-developed acuity for determining when a woman is in the presence of someone she cannot stomach (Frodo, after all, has admitted to not having won every scoring opportunity).  It is Frodo's professional opinion, and not unsurprisingly confirmed by friend Samwise, that Cindy McCain was sorely tempted to push Sarah's head into a tub of water and to hold it there until the conclusion of the Iowa Primary.  

Frodo is reminded of the look that the housewife of thirty years might have upon her countenance when she learned that her husband once played golf with Tiger Woods.  It is probable, in Frodo's mind, that said housewife might want to get an accounting of cellphone usage, and to see if there were any golf clubs in the SUV.  Cindy has that same look in her eyes, just like that which caused Caesar to take special note of Brutus' presence at the terminus of his political career.

Sam is willing to consider offering a reward to anyone who gets Cindy to talk.  Frodo, again, remarks that inquiring minds, simply, want to know. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:14 PM EST

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Mood:  hug me

When the Gardens of the Shire were new, it was merely an open deck which extended into a back yard.  After several renovations, and the passage of time, it is now a window-enclosed elevated room which reaches out at tree-top level into the native growth that flowers below.  A kerosene heater burns brightly at this time of year, while the ceiling fan sits idle, awaiting its next call to action.  Frodo can turn his chair inward and watch the news or the athlete who strives for broadcast perfection.  But with a light coating of snow and bone-chilling temperatures outside, it is tempting to stand and peer into the darkness endlessly, looking for signs of movement and shimmers of life in the darkness of winter.

Frodo had noticed a ghostlike apparition whipping in the snares of a hickory tree days ago, and had at first believed it to be the corpse of a kite.  Closer examination revealed it to be a plastic shopping bag, caught halfway up in the nakedness of the arboreal, too far for the Frodo of today to climb and secure.  Frodo knew that, with time, ever-present, the bag would eventually disappear and plague him no more.  He was struck however, by the fact that the bag was already gone, and appeared to be moving, of its own power, atop the horse-fence which encircles the Shire.

An intrepid squirrel, perhaps looking to add substance to the structure which sheltered his small family, had the bag in paw, and was dragging it along the fence, in the direction of shelter.  Unfortunately, the wind was whipping mercilessly, and had penetrated the opening of the bag.  The parachute thus created was pulling the squirrel in the exactly opposing direction intended.  Frodo smiled and called to Sam to come and watch the struggle in the snow-lit darkness.  Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, followed and peered through the windows thinking that something wonderful must be at hand.

Eventually, the struggle below disappeared over the side of the fence and out-of-view.  Before long Frodo was alone again, and his mind wandered to the poetry of Robert Frost, New England's champion in Frodo's assessment of those who can create dreams from mere words.  The woods were indeed dark and deep, and had reminded Frodo that moments like this are left behind all too quickly.

On this morn Frodo noted the plastic bag, once again flapping in the breeze of the hickory tree.  Perhaps Act II, Scene I, will take place when the wind dies down and the harvest of nest insulation can proceed unabated.  That much effort should never be denied.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:49 AM EST

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Mood:  surprised

United States Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND) has never really meant too much to Frodo.  After all, North Dakota is one of those states never visited by Frodo, and given the glacial (pun, pardon) speed at which global warming is apparently occurring, it is unlikely that Frodo will ever visit North Dakota.  Dorgan is apparently a man of great integrity, and he has gained a measure of respect among civilized citizenry for his dogged determination in the seemingly endless debates on healthcare reform.  Frodo was surprised that he indicated an unwillingness to offer himself for additional abuse at the hands of an electorate long on passion and short on information.  For a few minutes, Frodo was depressed.

Then he thought about Ed.  Ed Schultz that is, the host of the "Ed Schultz Show" on MSNBC, and a long-time resident and progressive radio show host in North Dakota.  Frodo and Sam, both of whom enjoy tuning in to his "Psycho Talk" segment, during which he typically zeroes in on Michele Bachmann, Liz Cheney, Glenn Beck, or some other fruit who has escaped from an entagling vine were heartedly jointly-composing an e-mail to suggest that he consider running to replace Dorgan.

Schultz is nothing, if not committed to the principles of helping the working man, and standing up for the underdog.  He never, ever, stops, and he is not ashamed to raise havoc with those whom he feels do not fight hard enough.  Although Frodo finds him to be a bit much from time-to-time, he is indeed a fighter.

"Boy," thought Frodo, "it would be refreshing to hear a guy who fights with his heart as well as his mind, again, in American politics."

It was even more refreshing to hear that Schultz has been approached by the Democratic Party in North Dakota, and asked to consider running to replace Senator Dorgan.

When the vetting process is complete, and if Schultz and his family choose to follow this path, then he will have a Hobbit at his back.

Run, Edddie, run far and run fast.  We have 300 days to make it so.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:56 PM EST

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Mood:  bright

Now that the last of the lists has been compiled, and Frodo no longer has to match wits with someone, anyone, who believes that one of anything, something, is more important than everything else that has taken place, it is time for the next step toward insanity.  What are the great issues, in descending order, that now face the citizens of Middle Earth?

1.  What to do when there is nothing on television?

The Internet used to be a hoot, but now it is work.  Either it serves as a replacement for more traditional research and analysis, or it mandates a new set of priorities into every day of one's life.  Even the casual blogger finds himself stressed by the fact that he hasn't "posted," and that his devoted readers may get bored and go away, then he'd have to start all over and what would happen if he wasn't funny/poignant/authoritative (pick one)?  The difference between the offerings of television, and those of the Internet, are that Mary Tyler Moore and Andy Griffith are not replaced by firedoglake or the huffingtons.

2.  What to do when you get voice mail?

Frodo believes that the phrase "your message is very important" ranks right there with "Arbeit Macht Frei."  Everybody knows that it is pure bullshit and that you will surely die if you wait longer than one hour for anyone to return your call.  Nothing communicates your comparative relative standing in another's priorities if you don't get a call back on the same day that you leave your message.  The anxiety created by an unreturned message is merely a replacement for the anxiety which used to exist when there was no answer and the telephone just rang and rang.

3.  What to do when there is no return address?

A Christmas Card, signed by an old friend, containing a generic one-page synopsis of the past year, absent any reference to either a spouse, or something somewhat relevant, without a little sticky return address on the front left-hand side of the envelope, is a better form of communication than is a smoke-signal.  It also requires evasive action less a scalping soon take place.  Unfortunately, either #1 or #2 above represent the next available step in these troubled times.

Finally, says Frodo, there is the issue of the weather.  What do you do if it is so damn cold outside that your dog's tweeter has icicles on it, and he looks to you for relief?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:50 AM EST

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Mood:  special

A. K. Kurosawa penned an immortal tale which was transformed into English when Charles Bronson, Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and a host of others became "The Magnificent Seven."  Frodo is not of a mind this evening to dwell on the score that swells his chest and allows him to imagine what it must really be like to fight to preserve the life of the guy standing next to you, who is fighting to preserve your life.  Perhaps it is the night, and the sound of fireworks, that exacerbate the numbers he absorbs as 2009 slips into ignominy.

Seven, added to three hundred and four doesn't really compute when the costs of war are tabulated in the mind of man or hobbit.  We routinely count the number of soldiers who die for some reason somewhere, but it is very rare when "civilians" are added to the count, as they were this day.  The "Station Chief" in Khost was a married woman.  One of the Central Intelligence Agency employees reporting to her was a thirty-seven year-old father of four.  A "suicide bomber' separated the families from their loved ones who also served, us.

Frodo, obliquely, wonders if Dick Cheney will ever know their names.  What troubles him most of all is the fact that Frodo can't even remember the names of all the actors in "The Magnificent Seven."  It was a very wise friend who once told Frodo that the most difficult job in the world would be that of the Director of Human Resources in the CIA.  When Frodo queried for a response, he was told that the employees may be trained to imbibe and seduce as part of their assigned task overseas, but once they return to the "homeland," they are disciplined for maintaining the behavior for which they had been honored.  How "hypocritical," thought Frodo, and nobody ever gets to know their names, unless Dick Cheney sees political advantage therein.

"Day is done, gone the Sun. . ." warbles Frodo to an empty sky, and the sound of fireworks in the distance.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:49 PM EST

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Mood:  irritated

Frodo believed then, and he believes now, that the Department of Homeland Obscurity was a stupid idea.  No Texan, in Frodo's opinion, has ever had a good idea (with the possible exception of everyone who has moved out of Mexico's largest province and sought solace in any place else on the Planet Earth).  Every person retaining Texas residence should immediately be placed on a "Do Not Fly List," and administered a field sobriety examination.  Creating the world's largest civilian bureaucracy was the kind of decision that Frodo expects of those with names like Bush, Connolly, or Jerry Jones.

If there were no DHS (federal agencies are required to develop and utilize their own distinctive acronym), Frodo believes that the following guidelines would already be in effect protecting the airborne among our citizenry.

First, no airline ticket costing more than $500 could be purchased with cash.  Now, before you get your underwear tied in knots, consider how often you've been able to rent an automobile in an all cash transaction.  The precedent is there, and despite the protestations of the Nigerians, who claim to be an 'all cash' society, they certainly ask for credit card information every time some Nigerian Banker's Son sends Frodo the news that he is soon to be the proud possessor of a $10M inheritance from the recently-departed Prince Somnambulism who had been miraculously looking for Frodo for many years.

Second, no son should be allowed to board an aircraft if his father has notified two or more embassies that he is behaving improperly.  Please note that Frodo does not include women in this restrictive connotation (after all, it would be hypocritical, if not counterproductive, for anyone who has devoted a lifetime in search of 'bad girls' to punish them. . .hmm, let's hold that thought for a while).

Finally, the total elimination of carry-on baggage would enhance both the safety and the fiscal independence of the traveler.  If the accountants who run the airlines no longer had the ability to generate 'service charges' for carry-ons, then they might shift their concentration to something involving true concern for their passengers.  Frodo would be the first to turn Sam into the TSA (note appropriate acronym for those now known as "the water-bottle gestapo") for masquerading the hand-held carry-on as a "purse."

The suggestions submitted herein do not result from the conduct of a single off-site staff meeting.  No Texan, living or dead, participated in the formulation thereof.  No taxes will be increased in order to implement these changes to present security systems.  No partisan political positions will be enhanced by any of these damn good ideas (Frodo doesn't think much of Texas Democrats, either).

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:13 PM EST

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Mood:  not sure

With just a few days to go, the Shire has experienced more rain in the past year than in any other year, save one, ever.  This coming on top of an unparalleled drought, which severely limited the growth of the economic engines running the Sun Belt.  Now even frozen New England is projected to experience a sustainable return to normalcy quicker than is the lower-taxed and more favorable working conditions of the American South.  Things have gotten turned around for Frodo, and it is causing him severe consternation amid his search for answers.

The latter days of the decade of the dregs have dawned sunny and bright, but there is a chill in the air which makes the anticipated tasks in the gardens of the Shire, and upon Frodo's motorcar, beyond reasonable effort.  That drives Frodo back inside whence he draws upon the struggle between two universities about whom he has no interest, and their gridiron performance which brings Frodo to conclude that there must be something on the Internet with even a modicum of intellectual challenge.  When that assumption is burst, Frodo, again, looks outside at the blue skies and avians in search of sustenance.

Frodo's canine companions are content to stay warm and inactive.  Sam is trimming toenails (a sometimes all-day job) and Bilbo is looking at old black-and-white photographs (an activity which immediately hastens one's final visit to the cemetery).  Frodo knows how that weirdo in the cabin in Montana must have felt just before he initiated the correspondence which yielded the creation of the "Unibomber' (or is that "Unabomber"?).

Frodo will first interrupt Bilbo, and perform an in-depth analysis of fiscal resources and commitments for the benefit of his control over those assets.  He will then waken those whose spirits are akin to the "Hound of the Baskervilles," and make them perform sentry duty about the very fringes of Middle Earth.  Upon their return he will suffer the pangs of frostbite as he removes the geophysical detritus which dulls the sheen of his motorcar.  It is not a total sense of obligation that drives him so on a Sunday, it is just the knowledge that unless he acts with zest and purpose, he is likely to do something stupid like make a list of Republican screw-ups and present them to you, dear reader, as "Boehner's Boners," or "Palin's Pratfalls."

It is too soon removed from Christmas for him to swarm upon the ignorant with malice aforethought.  Better to wait until the New Year (and a day that is both frigid and overcast).   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:28 PM EST

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Mood:  accident prone

Bilbo asked Frodo if he recalled his dish-washing adventure with the gallant Howard and, instantly, Frodo broke into a smile.  The events are true.

Several years ago the gallant Howard, recently widowed, came to the Shire to spend some recovery time with Frodo and Sam.  Frodo and Sam were both working, and the gallant Howard could amuse himself with his friends Lovey (a border collie and surrogate Secretary of State), Gumbo (Sam's personal dog of mass destruction), Rocky (the feline Italian Stallion), and Peeper (cockatiel waitress).  Sam's hours at work were irregular thus producing instances when Frodo would join this assemblage in performing strictly-dictated Sam-assigned duties.  Frodo, it is well-chronicled, is skilled in word and sword, but the mechanical is that which he is more than willing to out-source.  The gallant Howard, product of another generation, was used to long hours of work, none of which however involved "housework."  Thus was the stage set for the reprise of that golden moment when life (again) imitated art.

Sam had left written instructions for Frodo and the gallant Howard to include "run the dishwasher" in their assignments that infamous Saturday morning.  Sam also indicated a planned return to the Shire just after lunch.  After several cups of coffee, a discussion of the prior night's football action, and the requirements of pet care, Frodo and the gallant Howard sort of looked at one another as they absorbed the content of Sam's instructions.  Mutually, they opened the dishwasher, examined the dials and buttons, and performed as if, individually, they had any idea of what to do next.  There has been some dispute since as to who exactly took hold of the "dishwashing liquid" and commenced to pour the contents into the little container inside the washer.  No matter really, since neither protested that this course of action would prove to be unwise.

Things were going famously until the gallant Howard noted bubbles emerging from the top of the washing machine.  The situation swiftly became critical, and was so noted by the other inhabitants of the Shire.  Lovey, Gumbo, and Rocky high-tailed it for the great outdoors as the kitchen began to resemble a virtual bubbly wonderland.  Peeper sought the comfort of her cage, and did her best to shut and lock the door behind her.

By now Frodo and the gallant Howard were in a near state of panic since the bubbles were waist high throughout the kitchen, and were threatening expansion into both the living and the dining areas of the Shire.  Frodo, sans goggles, dived into the now open door of the washing machine, and managed to stop the machine.  The bubbles, however, continued to multiply as if they were a backdrop for a performance by the late Don Ho.

The gallant Howard had the good sense to assemble mops and rags (giving Frodo reason to believe that he had experienced something like this at an earlier point in his life), and the two warriors commenced to wipe up and dance about the kitchen area as the clock moved relentlessly toward the noon hour.

With but moments to spare, the bubblemachine ran out of ammunition and the desperate defenders of the Shire were turning the kitchen area into a paragon of cleanliness.  As Sam pulled into the driveway, Frodo and the gallant Howard returned all movables to their previous point of embarkation, and fell into their assigned positions of leisure as if nothing had at all occurred.  Sam did not become suspicious, immediately, even though the other residents of the Shire inexplicably failed to return for traditional treats in the kitchen area.

Frodo thought they had gotten away with it.  Then, the gallant Howard broke the code of the Mafia, and Sam swarmed into an exploratory examination of the entirety of the Shire.  The animals came back inside, and Peeper (who, indeed, talked) sealed the facts for Sam.  Frodo would take the blame.

That evening, still sulking, Frodo turned on the black-and-white, and happened upon the play, turned into a movie, entitled "Mister Roberts."  It would be the first of many occasions when he was able to laugh about the happenings under his control as the de facto "Laundry and Morale Officer" of the S.S. Shire.  

Ensign Pulver lost Doug Roberts not long thereafter, and all of the crew members have moved on to higher calling.  The adventures, however, never end, and the Shire remains a refuge for the only partially controlled.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:48 PM EST

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Mood:  don't ask

Frodo's habit is to absorb the events of the day, and to comment on serious matters only after absorbing something more than a modicum of facts.  This is an exception, for Frodo senses something in the air, and it does not feel right.  Perhaps, in another life, Frodo caught scent of a saber-toothed tiger, or a wild fire burning in the distance, or the snapping twig of a footfall behind him.  Tonight he senses a political trap, and he is fearful.

What if the passage of a Healthcare Reform Bill in denuded format is exactly what "they" have wanted from the very beginning?  What if the entire strategy was based on the premise of separating the base from the coalition of supporters who ensured political victory for the Democrats?  What would it take?  How would it occur?

Remember, dear reader, the "Southern Strategy" of Richard Nixon, whereupon the disaffected whites fled the confines of the familial relationship that had endured for decades?  The Republican Party took them in, offering safe haven from the onslaught of those who depended on public assistance and brought crime to neighborhoods and schools.  If such a strategy had been successful once, couldn't it be amended and applied once again?

If, as Frodo understands what has been presented this evening, the Senate Version of the Healthcare Reform legislation offers financial assistance to those who cannot afford to meet that which is mandated, and the concomitant costs to those who meet the definition of Middle Class reach a mandate equivalent to that of housing, then the stage is set for the destruction of the Democratic Party.  Is it not conceivable that, once again, there would be a run to the umbrella that fails to include those who depend on public assistance and who bring crime to neighborhoods and schools.  History has shown us that these people vote their fears, and their pocketbooks, and they do, indeed, vote.

Frodo, if the facts are as presented to him at this moment, agrees that the President must veto the Bill.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:17 PM EST

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Mood:  vegas lucky

"Opt in" and "veterans benefits" are terms that Frodo never really thought much about, until recently.  For the first time, Frodo has been presented with some public issues that directly impact upon him, and his standard of living.  Always before Frodo depended only upon his personal resolve, and the "rules of the road."  Now, however, he is confronted with the other side of the coin, and it makes him uncomfortable.

Frodo's father fought in World War II and, as his survivor, therefore, Bilbo is entitled to certain benefits for care in assisted living.  Bilbo will probably receive a little more than a thousand dollars per month for as long as qualified in order to help offset the onerous cost which emanates from these necessary services.  Given a combination of Social Security and savings, Bilbo is in position to maintain financial independence for a reasonable projection of life.  Absent the assistance of Social Security and "veterans benefits," it would be a very different story for Bilbo, and the anxiety thus created would likely destroy any concept of pleasurable existence.

Frodo is helping Bilbo document her application for veterans benefits.  He has never before applied for anything that didn't require re-payment.  Frodo assumes that what Bilbo will receive is actually a re-payment for services rendered, but it just seems strange for Frodo to ask for anything from his fellow citizens.

Frodo has been gainfully employed every single day for what will be exactly forty years, next month.  That is a long time, in fact, longer than years of service almost everywhere in Middle Earth.  Yet, Frodo falls below the magical determination by age which ensures his qualification for Medicare, and so does Sam.  To be fiscally responsible, Frodo must subject himself to the usury of health insurance for the self-employed and keep working for another five years.  Had the capacity to "opt in" or "buy" Medicare, even at a much higher than normal rate, become a part of the currently-debated "Healthcare Reform" come into being, Frodo could step aside, and give others the opportunity to take over and grow the business.

Apparently, the "option" to "buy in" will not be made available to Frodo.  It would be easy to concentrate on Senators, and their motivations, and to hope that pustules break out upon the ass of Joe Lieberman (?-CT), thereby causing him as much "angst" as he has brought to bear on those similar in status to Frodo.

That brings Frodo back to the point that his initial consideration is for himself, and that is worrisome to him.  

Frodo worries about lots of people, not least of which are those without access to life-saving services, preventative treatment, or professional end-of-life care.  Frodo does not fall into any of these categories, so it is with that in mind that he will look at the absence of "opt in" as "unfortunate" for him, and do his best with the cards dealt to him.

He will, however, revel in any misfortune that befalls that smirking turd, Lieberman. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EST

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