Topic: "Whitman's Sampler"(6)
There is an aroma of optimism in the air, and to Frodo, it smells just like napalm. Names like O'Donnell, Fiorina, Angle, McMahon, and Whitman are ships burning in the harbors of political naivete. The outpouring of wealth into the coffers of Rupert Murdoch is on the precipice of producing a perfect game, no hits, no runs, and definitely, no misses.
It's not that Frodo is genetically predisposed to the feminine gender in the kitchen as opposed to the situation room of the White House, but the assemblage blessed by the former Half-Governor of Alaska has caused him to remember that he needs to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. At the same time, the volume from the rational right has ratcheted down to a decibel-level that makes everyone forget that a certain bloodbath was the inevitable result of the midterms to come, just a few weeks ago. It is a shift which once again gives hope for an imminent end to the current performance malaise in the American Experience.
Meg Whitman, in Frodo's mind, was the only one of these colossal douchettes to portray reason as a reason for voting in her behalf. That is, until she fell victim to her own "tough-guy stance" on illegal immigration, and the inevitable "getting caught" with her britches down. Ms. Whitman, it seems, had a housekeeper who couldn't seem to locate her "green card." Instead of firing her, as she publicly demanded of prospective employers, she allegedly counseled the employee to lie, if caught. At least that is what the rich, bitchy, femaly attorney said, in front of the cameras.
There have been a myriad of similar cases in recent decades. Frodo well remembers the first nominee for Attorney General put forth by freshman President William Jefferson Clinton. It was discovered that a household employee was not suffering the pain of withholding from her wages for Social Security purposes. Allegedly, she told the brilliant attorney that she would "pay her own" when the time came. Unfortunately, that was a preprogrammed response and left the employer liable for all of the tax, plus penalties, and interest. It also meant that she would not be confirmed by the Senate to be Attorney General.
It goes without saying that O'Donnell and Angle suffer from an absence of neurons in the brain. They are however, both picturesque devotees of the Palin Syndrome, and are sure to appear on "Dancing With the Stars".
Fiorina and McMahon have the distinction of corporate nosedives while wearing a brassiere. They were counted out because they exhibited no capacity to lead on merit, or to identify any accomplishment which made money for anyone other than themselves.
Ah but Whitman, who has never apparently read a history book, or learned to speak Spanish. Hers was the ignoble fall from grace above all others.
Frodo recommends the one that smells like victory.