Sure Plays A Mean Pinball
Topic: "If You Remember,Then"(6)
"Quickly now," queried Frodo, "what was Henry Kissinger's seminal success in life?"
"Well, from his public profile, I'd say that most would remember him for his role in negotiating an end to U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War," said Bob Woodward. "However, I will remember most his poignant and prayerful conversation with Richard Nixon on the steps inside the White House on the night before Nixon's resignation."
"Yes," said Frodo, "I remember the fact that you reported the event in your book, yet Kissinger denied being the source. Speculation ran heavy that the Lincoln Portrait on the wall was the only other potential source for your story."
"Actually," said Frodo, "don't the Kissinger reminiscences at the State Department conference on the history of US involvement in Southeast Asia just grind your butt?"
"Well, he was certainly well-informed. . ."
"Oh fooey, he had the unmitigated gall to say 'most of what went wrong in Vietnam we did to ourselves,' sputtered Frodo.
"A lot of people would agree. . ."
"You mean the live ones, don't you? While that myopic academic cast-off wasted precious time explaining why the shape of the tables in the room were in any way relevant, 58,000 young boys and girls died, fighting on the wrong side of democracy."
"Now, it is true that the peace accords did allow the U.S. an exit from the fighting. . ."
"But, now, that cherubic 'Uncle Henry' adds that 'it left South Vietnam vulnerable to a communist takeover,' as Frodo's countenance flushes with fervor.
"Your point is well taken," said Woodward, "Kissinger basically admits that he was out-negotiated by Le Duc Tho."
"And every teenager north of Mobile was telling him that the North Vietnamese had a goal to unite their country, and Henry Kissinger felt like we could negotiate that down to a compromise."
"In his defense now," added Woodward, "he does point out that our disagreements over the conduct of the war were transmuted into an issue about the moral adequacy of the war and our involvement in it."
Frodo paused. He looked at Woodward and said, "Sir, this is what you said was the seminal public accomplishment of Henry Kissinger's life. From that point we have have concluded that he was both out-negotiated and disingenuous. In fact, it is easy now to conclude that this famous man, who achieved wealth and fame while serving his government was a colossal fuck-up, who never accomplished anything of significance."
"Mr. Frodo, have you ever thought about authoring your own book?"
"I have Sir, but I don't think there would be a great market for a book entitled 'Dumb Shits Employed by America'."
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at 9:43 PM EDT