Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Smile In Your Face, All The Time They Want To Take Your Place, The Back Stabbers
Mood:

not sure
Topic: "Wynot"(6)

There is a town, in Wyoming of all places, named Wynot. When queried, residents will respond "Why not?" In the spirit thereof, Frodo speculates about something "newsy."

United States Senator Joseph Liebermann (D-CT), a three-time loser with no legislative accomplishments, has announced that he will not run for re-election. In all likelihood, he would have received significant competition within the Democratic Party, and, once again, would not have received their endorsement.

MSNBC Commentator Keith Olbermann pulled a surprise late Friday evening, and announced that by mutual accord his contract was being terminated. Keith, who rose to broadcast prominence with ESPN (which is based in Connecticut), subsequently became and remained (until this announcement) the stalwart guiding liberal face of MSNBC. Especially during the contentious debate and struggle over healthcare reform, quixotically while both of his parents confronted and lost end-of-life struggles, Olbermann seemed girded for war as opposed to entertainment. On several occasions Olbermann actually wrote personal checks, on air, in order to contribute to organizations sponsoring free health clinics.

Frodo has noted many times, in conversation, that all organizations are comprised of dreamers as well as operators, and that while both are necessary, mutual survival is not permanent. Perhaps Keith Olbermann, who left ESPN under similar circumstances, is a dreamer who simply grows bored as organizations mature. By the same token, he may simply have been waiting for an opportunity, like Liebermann's announcement, in order to follow in the footsteps of Senator Al Franken (D-MN) or Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA), entertainers turning to another level of public notoriety. Frodo has also noted that there seem to be greater tendencies to occupational influx into public life by those with money, e.g. look at all the moronic physicians recently replacing moronic attorneys in American political life.

In order to test his theory, Frodo participated in the YAHOO chatroom discussion about Olbermann's resignation, and he was dismayed by the vitriol aimed at Olbermann, MSNBC, and especially at Rachel Maddow. Frodo could only conclude that the weather must have been terrible in the areas that house great numbers of Tea Bagnuts. It convinced Frodo that anything manufactured by anyone with the name "Glock" thereon has got to be put away and locked up from these people.

All further prognostication aside, let Frodo simply say that "You heard it here first," and that Keith would certainly be better than anybody named Joe.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:43 AM EST

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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Try to Understand, He's a Magic Man
Mood:

don't ask
Topic: "Nevermore"(6)

When Frodo visited the University of Virginia, he was duly impressed by the architectural talents of Thomas Jefferson. Standing on the Quad however, he found himself drawn to the row of student housing which first housed those in search of an education in Charlottesville. Entering through an open door he noted the brick flooring and the central heat of an individual fireplace in each apartment. Today, for the unknowing, these apartments are the prized educational residences of graduate students. The competition to attain one for a single academic year is intense, and highly political.

At first, Frodo thought that anyone wanting to spend a winter living in such spartan surroundings had to be suffering from the kind of delusions which today guide the Tea Party. That is until he noted that the apartment in which he stood had been that which had sheltered former University of Virginia student Edgar Allen Poe.

Frodo was unable to find any indications of Raven poop on the floor, nor could he locate any portion of the walls which appeared to have been bricked over in order to imprison drinkers of Italian Wine. He was however, totally taken with the moment.

This vignette follows the fact that for the second year in a row, Poe's grave was greeted on the morn of the anniversary of his birth without the customary three roses and a half-empty bottle of cognac which had adorned said monument annually for more than forty years. The unknown person failed to appear on Wednesday past for the second year in a row, giving rise to speculation that the visitor may have joined Poe in a world truly dark and dreary. Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe Museum, felt it unlikely that the unknown visitor was nearly napping.

Is that the doorbell?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:40 PM EST

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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Nobody Left in This World to Kiss Goodnight
Mood:

quizzical
Topic: "Kiribati Republic"(6)

Eventually, there will be a day when Frodo is no more. He neither dwells upon nor contemplates such events, but he is often struck by the contrasts of life and death, for there are certainly a wealth of thoughtful stories whispered in cemeteries in all parts of Middle Earth. One such story is presented here because Frodo has personal knowledge of the place, if not the time. The place is a string of volcanic islands in the South Pacific known now as the Kiribati Republic, which were formerly known as the Gilbert Islands, in recognition of the British Sea Captain who "discovered" them a couple of centuries ago. The capital of the Kiribati Republic is named Tarawa.

Frodo and Sam experienced a "Margaret Mead moment," when they took a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands (interestingly, first dubbed the "Cook Islands" for a reason similar to the original name of the Kiribati Republic) upon a foreign-flagged ship. The law at the time required that any foreign-flagged carrier which commenced travel in a US port must visit a "foreign" port before again docking in a domestic port. This would prevent, for example, British Airways from flying between New York and Los Angeles in direct competition with US Airliners. The British Airways flight would have to land in, say, Winnipeg, before continuing on to either destination. This "protectionist" restriction would give the US companies a competitive edge, for sure. In Frodo's case, the cruise begain in Honululu, thereby requiring that the foreign-flagged ship had to land at the nearest foreign port before landing at Hilo. It is 500 miles, and two days sailing at 25 knots-per-hour, to Fanning Island, which is part of the Kiribati Republic, and which served as the foreign port for Frodo's cruise.

Fanning Island sits in 17,000 feet of water, and is merely the lip of an extinct volcano which rises a massive 15 feet out of the ocean. There are about 250 inhabitants, and they are entirely dependent on tourist commerce for their existence, and that ain't much. Their future, if any, is entirely dictated by the concept of "global warming."

Tarawa is another island in the chain, and it was the scene of one of the most storied battles of World War II. For the most part, it is relatively easy to research the ferocity of the battle in 1943, and to thereby contemplate the cost to the victorious allies. What we all seem to overlook however, is the other guys.

Of the 4500 Japanese soldiers who dug in and "defended" Tarawa, only 17 survived.

USMC Sgt. "Ray" Totten survived the battle, and had time afterwards to do a little souvenir searching from the remains of the opposition. He evidently found a handwritten letter, in Japanese, written by Petty Officer First Class Matashiga Koga of the Japanese Imperial Navy. From the translation we now know that Koga had written "Today is the last day." Totten, upon his death, willed the letter to his grand-nephew, Scott Addison, of suburban Atlanta. Addison subsequently felt inspired to see if he couldn't deliver the letter to those for whom it was originally intended. So far, he has had limited success, for it is not far afield from trying to find the relative of an American named "Smith" who may have passed away more than 60 years ago.

What strikes Frodo is that given the ferocity, the brutality, the very horrific nature of the conflict that separated the Americans from the Japanese, with the passage of time, it is the off-spring of the enemy who seek to honor participants in the struggle, on either side. Frodo has no doubt that Scott Addison will eventually deliver that letter, in person, and he won't even charge the lost warrior's family for postage. Our stories, it seems, cross lines of time-and-space, and even the cemetery is robbed of its secrets. It is then that we are all equal, and hate withers into history.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:45 AM EST

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Friday, January 14, 2011

Some Guys Have All The Luck
Mood:

chillin'
Topic: "Captive Audience"(6)

71% of the land surface of the United States of America was covered by snow this past Wednesday. All comments about "global warming" and "Al Gore" aside, true it is that nearly the entire nation found itself transfixed, by the magic that is television. For some, they watched because there was nothing else to do. For others, it isn't easy to explain. It had happened before, most notably in Dallas, followed thereafter by New York. It was as if we just needed to get together and have a good cry.

It did not take long to realize that something very important was happening. Frodo noted the presidential reference to "Congress on the corner" as an update to "government of the people, and by the people, and for the people" as an indication of something truly significant in mind. Minutes later, Frodo sensed the tone of an unwillingness to merely accept the sacrifice of the honored dead. He caught the cachet of a refusal to place blame on each other, and a stated desire for discussion over disputation. But was this merely Frodo's Lincolnesque bias at play, having heard only what he had hoped to hear?

There were tears in Sam's eyes, too. They talked about who was there, and who was not. They replayed the moments of greatest impact, and they listened as the first reviews came in from the land of talking heads. It was then that Frodo turned to Sam and said "I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but I think we just heard a modernization of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. The War is not over, but amid the horror, we have to prepare for the peace that is to come. We must build that peace in honor of those who brought us to this point, at this time."

Sam listened, but was silent.

Tom Brokaw was there, on the screen. "Did you hear what he said?", said Frodo. "Tom Brokaw just said the same thing. He said that the President had patterned a 21st centrury rendition of the Gettysburg Address."

Frodo was full of himself. Tom Brokaw shared his thoughtful analysis and his impression of words spoken to a captive audience, most of whom were proud, and glad, that they had watched and listened, even though the words had not been written on the back of an envelope aboard a locomotive-driven train.

May the words, "Gabby opened her eyes," last just as long. They mean just as much.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:13 PM EST

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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

You Didn't Have To Be So Nice
Mood:

cool
Topic: "Snowiches" (6)

"Mr. Frodo, do you know why you'll never starve to death in the desert?," asked the sub-teen known to Frodo as "Beckham." Frodo pondered for a few seconds and surrendered to the future star of Manchester United or the Tottenham Hotspurs. "Because you can always eat the sandwiches there (sand which is there)."

Frodo thought of this "shellacking" by his neighbor in the Shire as he examined the structure of the frozen precipitation now declared as part of the "Weather of Northern Aggression" which has a stranglehold on all things good and southern. There is, at bottom, a frozen concoction which resembles a slice of ice cream cake. In the middle there is the fluffy whipped cream-like feature, topped by a thin layer of semi-solid ice. Examined in hand, it does appear more than edible. Frodo took a slice to his young friend, and asked him if he had ever eaten a 'Snowich"? Sensing treachery, he ran from Frodo with due haste and the snowball-like projectile fell harmlessly to his rear.

The Shire is at an absolute standstill, and not since the historic winter of '93 (which allows Frodo's reference thereto make him feel as if he were Gabby Hayes or some other super senior), has non-expressway transportation become an absent envy to Hobbits and Elves alike. Only the Riders of Rohan are able to adjust.

Frodo has learned a great deal about Cedar Waxwings in the past several days. Masked and traveling together in great swarms, they descend on berry-producing fauna of all kinds, and totally denude the plant of berries in a frenzy that would put the white shark to shame. Hollies, mahonia, photinia, and previously unidentified vines all lose their fat-rich produce to these colorful and excitable winter visitors to the Shire. Worrying about the resultant absence of food, Frodo has donated almost half a loaf of cornbread to the land beneath the bird feeders, in hopes that the visitors will find a healthy reason to stay a bit longer.

What does result however, is a truce. Squirrels and countless other avian visitors stand side-by-shoulder as they feast on the cornbread and the seeds which fall from the feeders. Frodo cannot turn the pages in his bird book fast enough to identify even a significant minority of the variety available. The exceptions being Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, who have taken note of the locations where cornbread crumbs can be consumed with impunity. Unwatched, they force their way into the throng, and begin to absorb great amounts of cornbread with a snort, and a smile. The snowiches form on their noses, and they retreat only when decibels are increased by the Hobbit.

The temperatures are brutal, and the darkness of the mini-forest about the Shire is a reminder of the threat to creatures of all shapes and sizes. It is serious business, and a moment taken to enjoy a few snowiches makes faraway places and hideous crimes seem remote.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:16 PM EST

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Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Little Bit of Soap Will Wash Away My Tears
Mood:

sad
Topic: "Degree of Separation"(6)

In that magical season of 1980, the Philadelphia Phillies (then Frodo's favorite team), ended the frustrations of multiple generations by finally winning a World Series. Frodo danced and sang when Pete Rose caught the pop-foul that fell out of Bob Boone's glove into his own. His heart raced with the long strides of Garry Maddox in center-field, who patrolled all of the earth not covered in water. He dried his palms on his official Phillies t-shirt while Steve Carlton dueled with mere mortals at the plate, and Mike Schmidt drew blood from the sweat of pitchers stupid enough to pitch to the best hitter of the time. Not forgotten was the wisdom and the brilliance of Dallas Green, manager of the miracle, on this, his finest of days.

It seems quixotic to now refer to the very worst of days, that which is yet known as "9/11," as Frodo apparently switches topics, and notes the birth on that day of a little girl amidst the suffering and the loss which mark our lives. Tragedy apparently, like triumph, is sometimes registered in someone's idea of heaven by the convergence of joy and sadness. How awful, thinks Frodo, when he hears a distraught father note that it was his daughter, born that terrible day, who passed from our world in a hail of gunfire in a shopping center in Tucson, Arizona just a few short hours ago.

The circle, yet unbroken, is completed when Frodo discovers that the little girl was the grand-daughter of Dallas Green.

Somehow, winning a couple of baseball games will never seen quite so important to either Dallas Green, or to Frodo.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:44 AM EST

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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Don't You Feel Like Cryin'
Mood:

not sure
Topic: "ESP" (6)

Make no mistake about it, Frodo thought Ronald Reagan was a senile snake. He admits however, to being rather amazed as he watched an old friend actually weep for joy as Ronald Raygun took the oath of office. EDITORIAL NOTE: Frodo's theme this eve stems from the weeping willow from Ohio who was today sworn in as the newest Speaker of the House. Frodo learned on that day to sometimes soften his words when transitions occur. It is better to let a useless politician hang himself than for Frodo to waste his resources supplying the fool with a rope. Truer it is that there are some whose disagreements with Frodo are sincere, and to them Frodo owes a few moments of silent observation.

So far, Frodo has seen nothing which in any impacts his preconceived notion that we have another group of naive miscreants drinking the booze poured by oil company lobbyists. To that end, Frodo will retain his silence until somebody steps into a big old pile of dog-doo.

Frodo will wager on Darryl Issa, representing the home turf of the unlamented Richard Outhouse Nixon. Perhaps Representative Issa has already done so, and Frodo just ain't heard the news.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:01 PM EST

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

One Less Egg To Fry
Mood:

cheeky
Topic: "Xmas in Shreveport"(6)

Last evening, the Ramblin' Wreck of Georgia Tech confronted the Academy d' Air Force in the Independence Bowl. Frodo was struck, first of all, by the fact that he hadn't seen so many white guys on a football team since Ronald Reagan played George Gipp. Having visited Shreveport, Louisiana, on several occasions, Frodo was quite concerned about how all the players from Atlanta's Technical School would be greeted by the local residents, who seem to believe that Ronald Reagan is still alive.

Frodo learned last week that four of the student-athletes from Georgia Tech were dropped from the roster due to failing grades in class. As if that were not ominous enough, three more players were held out of play during the first half for a curfew violation two days before the game.

A curfew violation! In Shreveport? What time, asked Frodo, was curfew, 7:30PM? For there is, by Frodo's reckoning, nothing to do, especially if you happen to be black, like the Georgia Tech players, in Shreveport. By all that is truly fair, the players should have gotten recognition for their creativity.

Just before the game was to start, the "special operations" guys from the Air Force Academy paraded to mid-field in order to demonstrate the winged effectiveness of the school mascot, an honest-to-goodness falcon. One of the Special Ops guys removed the hood from the head of the falcon, and released the leather thong from around his foot and launched him into his air-borne routine. Frodo happened to be paying attention, and noted that, rather than return to his handler, the bird flew part way around the football stadium and disappeared over the far wall. The handlers did everything, by the book, in trying to get their escapee to return, but he was no longer visible to man or camera. That sucker was long gone.

What, Frodo asks, would you do if somebody dragged you to Shreveport in December and told you it was your reward for being a good boy? According to press reports, the falcon struck up an acquaintance with a number of pigeons in downtown Shreveport. Given the time of year, he obviously had something on his mind other than lunch.

Frodo intends to follow susequent events in Shreveport over the next couple of months. Come Spring, there are liable to be some mighty fast pigeons diving from high altitudes in search of another set of turkeys from Atlanta.

Air Force Academy 14, Georgia Tech 7.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:43 PM EST

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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Beware The Devil Woman, She's Gonna Get You
Mood:

on fire
Topic: "Big Words,LittleMind"(6)

What follows is an actual entry in the Opinion Section (once known as "Letters to the Editor") of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION of December 26, 2010. Frodo's response follows thereafter.

"At last, a column by Cynthia Tucker that is not filled with her spewing hatred of the GOP; ranting about racism, and/or protecting illegal immigrants. . .As a rule (in her liberal opinion), the Republican Party, tea party, and conservatives can do nothing right, and for many of us, her diatribes get really old. Why does she use such big words that most of us need to look up in Webster's to even know what they mean? Cynthia, who are you trying to impress? I for one would much rather you write columns the caliber of this piece--without the show-off words, and your usual vitriol (one of your words, not mine)."--Sheryl Danner, Norcross

Yeah Cynthia, somebody might get the idea that Georgians aren't willing to accept second-best after all, if you keep using big words that Sheryl (from Gwinnett County, no less) can't understand. After all, a national statewide educational ranking that has not risen above 49th in over a decade (including the District of Columbia) should require that you "dumb down" to the level of your readers. Frodo would like to personally suggest a few alternatives to help you properly address readers like Sheryl. Frodo is sure that some of his friends will be glad to help.

How about cretin? Well, that does assume mental illness, so probably not totally appropriate. Moron? That does assume a potential mental age between eight and twelve, and the possibility of routine work under adult supervision, so it is better, but still not perfect. How about dimwit? Webster would define that as one who is mentally slow or stupid, so that's pretty close, don't you think? It might also impress Sheryl, since you are definitely trying to impress somebody, that you turned to Webster, in order to look up big words. As he thinks about it, Frodo has come up with an even better suggestion for classifying Sheryl; why don't we just address her as a Neanderthal?

Sheryl, try page 564 of the Seventh New Collegiate, column two.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:53 PM EST

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

There's More To Come And Carry Us Away
Mood:

special
Topic: "Good Day America" (6)

Today the exhibition season ended. Spring training is entirely behind us, because, and maybe for the first time in more years than any of us care to admit, we have a President of the United States.

Maybe it takes two years for any man (or woman) to absorb and adjust to the responsibility of the job. Obviously, there are some who may be just as lost eight years later as the day they first mispronounced "nuclear." The meld between vision and action is not the result of a Klingon physical ceremony, rather it comes, over time, most often quite painfully. Thus we have seen the maturation of Barack Obama, the President of the United States.

Funny it is, thinks Frodo, that tonight the conversational references to John McCain, Sarah Palin, Mitch McConnell, or others of that ilk do nothing more than further trivialize their importance. We have a Presient who can act with dignity and honor to his commitments, and to his demonstrated desire to bring our people together.

Most of all, fellow Americans, no one doubts that we have got a President.

Let the games begin.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:06 PM EST

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