Don't Be Cruel
Topic: "Confusion Reigns"(10)
Frodo believes that Alzheimer's is an outgrowth of the Internet. During the span in question he has changed "servers," "passwords," "user ID's," and countless other security devices on multiple and numerous occasions. The result being that he is no longer able to distinguish one from the other, and he is unable to recall when, or even if, he made any of the alterations to his "profile." Additionally, observations follow.
Some inhabitants of Middle Earth have televisions that can be moved anywhere, according to their wildly amusing commercials, and they have no need for the cords which spin madly beneath Frodo's personal computer. Frodo obviously does not qualify for this level of service.
Some of Frodo's neighbors have "high definition" pictures on their television screens. Frodo has a tree in his next door neighbor's yard which obstructs the necessary satellite which is sufficient for "regular" service, but not for HDTV.
Frodo has used the same e-mail address for so long that he is apparently totally overlooked by the "hackers". Recently, he had his personal computer check-up, only to find that it had been more than 458 days since his "malware detector" had run a security scan which identified the presence of these miniature land mines.
Passwords will be the death of Frodo. Smeagol has apparently created a thousand million passwords and placed them each on small pieces of paper and placed them all within the confines of Frodo's wallet. There is no other logical explanation for more than five of any of these nonsensical conglomerations of letters and numbers which are beyond the definition of utility.
Finally, there are electronic machines, all of which seemed to serve a distinct purpose in times past, which when now called upon seem to no longer possess either instructions or any definition of operational credence. This past evening, Frodo broke down in tears while attempting to playback a DVD movie which required three separate remote controls, a VCR, and another device which blinked off-and-on without apparent purpose. Sam, thank heavens, rescued the Hobbit once again.
Frodo does not have a complex telephone. He does however seem to have a battery which has devised its own language, and borders on system collapse whenever Frodo may be rash enough to consider putting the device into use. Frodo would like to swear here and now that he will never "upgrade" to these "I-pads" or whatever. He thinks longingly of the hero passenger pigeon who saved the "Lost Patrol" during World War I and recognizes that he was not GPS-guided.
Posted by loveysdaddyga
at 3:28 PM EST
Updated: Sunday, February 15, 2015 4:08 PM EST