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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
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"Parade of Horribles"(4)
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"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
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"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
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"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
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"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
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"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
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"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
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"Preemptive Invasion"
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"Promises to Keep"(9)
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"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
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"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
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"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
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"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
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"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
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"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
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"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
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"Rules" (7)
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"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
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"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
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"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
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"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
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"Sleepy Time (2)"
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"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
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"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
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"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
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"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
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"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
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"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
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"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Texas Exes" (8)
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"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
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"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"W is for Wuss""
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
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"Walkin' the Walk"
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"Water into Wine?"
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"We Sank a Truck"
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"Wedding Bell Blues"
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"Well, Duh!"
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"What Mark Felt"
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"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
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"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
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"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
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"Who dat?" (2)
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"Who Torted?"
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"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
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"Wither Weather?"(4)
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"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Friday, January 2, 2009
Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers To The Right
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Transparency" (4)

Frodo seems to be thinking a lot about words these days.  "Transparency" is one that he must admit he had never considered in its' most recent context.  Before, transparency had an application to vision through packaging of some sort, and was therefore not a relevant point of discussion for anyone save some optical techie.  Times, however, have indeed changed.

Charles Barkley attended Auburn University on a basketball scholarship, and gained fame as the "Round Mound of Rebound."  A full-scale analysis of Frodo's memory bank at that time would respond favorably to the keywords, "overweight," "mutant," "dumb," "jock," "Alabama," and "black."  A Google search would today reveal that Barkley went on to the National Basketball Association (that paragon of learned scholars) and became a multi-millionaire retiree who spread his verbosity throughout the land as a broadcaster.

Barkley, to say the very least, has become quite the center of controversy.  Known throughout as someone who said exactly what he thought (the refreshing nature of which is dependent upon a certain level of subjective knowledge), Frodo took note of Barkley's willingness to make people angry.  His criticism of under-achieving athletes and coaches was not mind-altering, but Barkley did strike a receptive cord when he began to express political opinion.

Charles Barkley announced that he was a Republican, and that he had disdain for those who did not share his belief in the value of hard work.  Coming from a multi-millionaire who owed his fortune to a child's game, that was a tad bit more hypocrisy than Frodo could stand.  What was really interesting however, were his tittering references to being able to do better than the current leadership in the political realm.

Last week, Barkley announced to Campbell Brown (since nobody watches that show) and the wire services that he was going to return to his home State of Alabama and run for Governor in 2014 (state law requires 5 years of legal residence for eligibility).  His timing might have been a little better.

On New Year's Eve the announcements began to accumulate as "Breaking News" on all the cable channels (Frodo is unable to comment on the reporting by Faux News).  The Governor-to-be, it seemed, had been arrested and charged with DUI in his current home State of Arizona (home to John McCain, among others).  With the latest reports it was disclosed that Barkley had another passenger in his motorcar when arrested (not his wife, it was added).  When asked if he had been drinking, he responded as we have come to expect, honestly, forthrightly.  When asked why he was driving so erratically, Barkley again responded without equivocation.

It seems that about a week ago Mr. Barkley had had an encounter with that same passenger in his motorcar, and had been given the best (for the record, and reflecting good taste, the terms "oral sex" were substituted by the reporting institutions) he had ever had.  He was driving erratically because he was in a hurry to pull off the road and to once again suffer the same experience.

Although he finds the results somewhat amusing, Frodo prefers to return to his prior understanding of "transparency," and to hope that neither Henry Paulson nor Ben Bernanke are performing a similar act upon our collective organs.   As for Mr. Barkley, Frodo would pay real money to be an observer of the 2014 gubernatorial contest in Alabama.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:46 PM EST
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Thursday, January 1, 2009
Memories And Elephants Are Playin' In The Band
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "The Good Book" (4)

Arrogance is omnipresent, and even the smallest and the weakest must recognize its' individual tendencies.  Frodo cannot understand why anyone would ever be less than enthusiastic about a movie, a song, or a book that he happens to add to his favorites list.  What's more, Frodo can grow cross with someone who does not pay proper homage to something he recommends.  Frodo believes that such people are either (1) Republicans, (2) Dallas Cowboy fans, (3) Terrorists,  (4) barristers, or any combination thereof.  The fact that such a person may also own or possess a "blackberry," an "I-Pod," or a telephone that transmits photographs of approaching tornados means that Frodo is not as tolerant of others as he would like to think.

This diatribe is leading Frodo to the conclusion that he should actually consider a few resolutions for the New Year.  Added in is Frodo's reaction to the picture of President-elect Obama on vacation in Hawaii, demonstrating some pretty solid "abs."  Frodo had abs once, and he'd like to think that he isn't so far removed from that stage of physical presence that he couldn't re-discover their existence.  This identifies another character flaw in the Hobbit, that which we call "wishful thinking."  Biblical scholars might simply note that Frodo is an admitted sinner in this demonstration of coveting his neighbor's abs (how clever is the Hobbit, you ask?).

Absent the desire to introduce himself to equipment salvaged from Abu Ghraib and offered for sale on cable channels which seem to run all night and never offer programming, Frodo can be further identified as lacking in initiative.  This may actually be demonstrated in his preference for warmer climes, and thereby explain his increasing tendency to wander neither as far nor as fast as in his younger days.  He gets concerned when he finds himself involved in something that is merely transitionsal, with no true end in sight.  Mowing the lawn, raking leaves, washing the motorcar, are all tasks which seem only to breed rather than to conclude.  Frodo is very concerned about over-breeding.

In sum, Frodo can be arrogant, he can be contradictory, and he most certainly can be lazy.  His true concern is that he is closer to George W. Bush than he ever imagined.   

Frodo resolves to be better. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:10 PM EST
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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
You Been So Good To Me, You Know You Make Me Wanna Shout
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Two Thousand, Ate" (4)

There are but moments left until a cosmic rotation is completed by the spherical juxtaposition of planetary objects which occurs every 365.25 days, approximately.  Tina Fey might add, "And I can see Russia from my house." 

Obfuscation, to Frodo, is the word that best documents the systemic occurrences on the small blue planet in the year that is about to end.  Whether it be a failed President, or a failed campaign, there are those who refuse to recognize the loser's role.  Instead of muttering "Shut up and deal," they instruct us to wait two decades, or longer, in order to note properly the role that history will assign to the facts upon which they have already decided.  Time, they hope, will cloud the memory and "obfuscate" the facts.

The economy, whatever that word means, sucks.  The Chinese are not selling enough toy dolls whose heads fall off and also carry exorbitant amounts of lead paint in their construction.  The Saudis are shocked by the precipitous decline in oil prices, to equal a level more than double that when the Incomparable Moron first entered office.  Americans have had their credit cut off and are no longer able to support the expansion which fueled the somnambulism of the subject juxtaposition the past ten times it has occurred.  The resulting regulatory products will last until another libertarian steps forward and argues without history, in order to "obfuscate" the facts.

A war against terrorism, or stateless nihilists if the truth be known, continues, and continues, and continues.  The victory sought by those who never understood what the battle was all about in the first place, will be followed, in time, by the dissolution of order and the continuation of dogmatic civil struggle.  The colossal misjudgments and predispositions of foolish people will disappear from the vision of those who will pay an even greater price.  What happens then will "obfuscate" the balance of power that once isolated dictators and brigands from prominence anywhere in the world, instead of unifying them as viable opponents to world order.

Frodo enjoys walking in the winter woods with Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog.  The grand deciduous forests open themselves to full examination, as if they were the skirts of Marilyn, blown forever above her knees.  When he tires of searching for visual quarry, Frodo can discuss great philsophical questions, and cruel fate with his attentive companions.  Frodo and all his friends conclude that 2008 was the worst of times, despite a scattered victory or two upon the landscape, and that for a guiding word in the moments which swiftly approach, let it be, simply, Hope.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:05 PM EST
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Thursday, December 25, 2008
I Made a Big Mistake Honey
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Out of the Ashes" (4)

750 years ago, Polynesians, with rats in their canoes, were the first humans to inhabit New Zealand.  Later came the Europeans, bringing cats, dogs, rabbits and other creatures who ran riot, eating the local wildlife, or stealing their lunch.  Today, New Zealand has one of the worst bio-depletion rates in all the world; more than 30 percent, some 51 species, of native birds for example, no longer exist.

Individuals, businesses, colleges and local governments have joined to form a nonprofit trust wildlife sanctuary known as Kaori.  One of their programs is an effort to restore one square mile of land within the sanctuary to its pre-human state.  As described by the curator of the threatened species program, the lush forests were once "populated by some pretty weird and unusual primitive animals."  At the crux of this gargantuan effort stands the fate of New Zealand's national emblem, the kiwi.

The squat, flightless bird looks like the product of a tryst between an anteater and a hamster.  It has furlike plumage with a quill-like beak, and a rather nasty demeanor to boot.  The bird is however, New Zealand's bald eagle, appearing on the currency, and lending its name to the fruit as well to the New Zealanders name for himself, as in "I'm a kiwi, mate, and proud of it."

Kiwis actually came down from the trees as birds, choosing never to go back, and were therefore fodder for the ecological disasters that accompanied mankind to their home turf.  In the year 2000, little spotted kiwi, the smallest and rarest of the species, were released into the Kaori mainland from a breeding sanctuary on a small island off the coast of new Zealand.  Within a year, the first chick was born, and today the park expects to count nearly 40 new offspring.

This vignette is offered on this day for a very special reason.  That first spotted kiwi chick was named for a character in a certain movie, filmed in New Zealand.

Merry Christmas, dear reader, from Frodo, nasty demeanor and all. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:00 AM EST
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Sunday, December 21, 2008
We've Got So Much To Share, Like Walkin' In The Rain
Mood:  special
Topic: "More Than Some" (4)

Frodo stood proudly next to the red kettle, and rang his bell for the Salvation Army.  Donations are down for these dedicated people, as they are for almost everybody who depend on others for their resources.  A warm afternoon and only a few shopping days left brought a bevy of shoppers past Frodo and his friends, where even those who passed by were greeted with smiles and best wishes.  It is the height of the Season for Frodo, and the following explains why.

The little boy rode in the shopping cart facing his Mom.  He smiled at Frodo and waved as they made their way into the Wal-Mart.  Later, as they came out of the store, his Mom stopped the cart and looked the little boy square in the eye as she pulled her wallet out of her purse.  "This is about sharing," she said to him.   "Sharing  is what is truly important."  Frodo and his friends stood and watched as she folded the $10 Bill and handed it to the little boy, who stretched out of his seat and pushed the money into the kettle.

When he looked up and smiled at Frodo, Frodo handed him the bell, and asked him if he'd like to ring the bell.  With a burst of vigor and holiday spirit, he taught Frodo a thing or two about how a bell ought to be rung.

As he handed the bell back to Frodo, his Mom looked into his eyes and said, "We may not have much, but we have more than some.  That is why we share."

There is a little boy, somewhere in Middle Earth today, who may not have much, but he is very, very rich.      

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:23 AM EST
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Saturday, December 20, 2008
Ain't You Hip Now What The New Breed Say, It Ain't No Drag
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Speechifyin'" (4)

"Mr. Frodo, please."

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Yes, he doesn't know me, but my name is Jon Favreau, and I need his help."

"Just a minute, Mr. Favreau, I'll get him for you."


"Yes Sam?"

"There's a young man here to see you.  Says his name is Favreau."

"What's he selling?"

"All he has with him is a laptop," said Sam, smiling at the buzz cut.

"I'm Frodo, what can I do for you, Mr. Favreau?"

"Mr. Frodo, I am a speechwriter, and I'm experiencing my first real case of writer's block.  I've been told that you are never at a loss for words, and that you might give me some advice."

"Well, this is sort of an unusual request.  For whom do you write speeches?"

"Barack Obama."

"I beg your pardon, did you say President-Elect Obama?"

"Yes Sir, I've been writing for him since 2004, and never seeming to have any problems at all, until now.  I just seem to have frozen up since a recent conversation with Bill Burton, who said to me "Dude, what you're writing is going to be hung up in people's living rooms!"  I realized then," said Favreau, "that if you start thinking about what's at stake, it can get paralyzing."

"Interesting.  I assume that we're talking about the upcoming Inaugural Address?  Well, what have you done in the past as a sort of creative process?"

"Well, I stay on the move, drink a lot of double espresso shots and Red Bull, for up to 16 hours at a time, and completely close out all of my other responsibilities.  This speech is different however."

"I see.  What has the President-Elect said to you about the speech, and what other input have you received?"

"Well Barack and I spent an hour together with David Axelrod, and Barack told me that the speech should be no longer than 15-20 minutes, and then we all agreed that the theme should be, 'this moment we're in, and the idea that America was founded on certain ideals that we need to take back.'  I then met with Peggy Noonan, who wrote for Reagan, David McCullough, the historian, and I've listened to hours of recordings from prior Inaugural addresses."

"Have you drafted anything as yet?"

"Oh yeah, I gave Barack a draft about a week ago, and he edited and re-wrote parts, too.  He said to me, 'Don't worry, I'm a writer too, and I know that sometimes the muse hits you and sometimes it doesn't.  We'll figure it out together.'"

"So what is the problem, and what can I do?"

"I need a joke."

"A joke?"


"You mean, like, 'Three guys go into a bar. . .'"

"No, I'm talking about something to take the edge off of a speech that will include everything from his autobiography (Dreams From My Father) to his address at the 2004 Democratic Convention (Big ears and a funny name).  Things are just so huge, and this is supposed to be a celebration."

"I see.  You don't really want a joke, you want something memorable, thematic, universal."

"For all the world to see."

"That's good."

"What is?"

"For all the world to see."

"Are you talking about something along the line of 'I'd like to buy the world a Coke, and keep her company.'"

"Kind of hard to just say something like that, isn't it?  It makes you want to sing along?"

"Wait man, are you saying Barack should sing a little song?"

"Or dance a little dance, and spray some seltzer in your pants."


"Robert Frost was on a podium like this one, a long time ago, and he captured the moment by reciting from memory what his 'old, tired eyes' could not read."

"So, is what you're saying that Barack need not zero in on the words as much as he needs to share the spirit of the words?"

"Isn't that what his whole campaign has been about, that which is behind the words themselves?"

"Good point Mr. Frodo."

"Do you know what I, Frodo Baggins, remember most from Barack's speech after winning the election?" 

"No, but I'm obviously interested."

"His stated love for those little girls, and the promise fulfillment of a puppy in the White House."

"Cool.  He may not be able to give us all a puppy. . ."

"But he can make us all want to go get one ourselves."


--Jon Favreau graduated from Holy Cross in 2003, and from a position in the Kerry campaign as a press assistant at age 23, was interviewed by the newly-elected Senator from Illinois for the position of speechwriter.  After 30 minutes together, predominantly engaged in a discussion about family and baseball, he was asked "What is your theory on speechwriting?"  His answer was "A speech can broaden the circle of people who care about this stuff.  How do you say to the average person that's been hurting: 'I hear you.  I'm there.  Even though you've been so disappointed and cynical about politics in the past, and with good reason, we can move in the right direction.  Just give me a chance.'"

--Barack Obama said, "I think this is going to work."

If only he would wear a tie. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:22 PM EST
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Friday, December 19, 2008
They Know the 'In Crowd' Is Out Of Sight
Mood:  silly
Topic: "Wide Stance" (4)

Rarely does Frodo simply break into sheer ridcule, but there are just some circumstances where someone is so oblivious to the obvious that the real disservice would be to do or say nothing.  This, Frodo supposes, is why the little boy finally spoke up and said "The King has no clothes."

Today, the portraits of George W. and Laura Bush, commissioned entirely by private funds, were unveiled before their official hanging in the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C.  To clarify, this is not the "official" portrait, commissioned by public funds, which will grace some empty space, and perhaps frighten children, in White Houses to come.  When the covers were pulled from the frames, Frodo immediately noted the ridiculousness of the George W. pose, and has been unable to stop laughing ever since.

The Incomparable Moron is pictured in an open-necked shirt, and he is seated, legs spread, as if he was in the midst of a regular daily bowel movement.  Frodo looked to see if perhaps the shoe of Senator Larry Craig was visible in the portrait.  Certainly, the 44th President was exhibiting, if nothing else, that he does indeed maintain a "wide stance."

As Frodo has continued to wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes, he has concluded that such a portrait is probably "apros pro."  The guy has been dumping on us for eight years; why should we remember him otherwise? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:25 PM EST
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Monday, December 15, 2008
I Will Always Love You
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "Christian the Lion"(4)

"Few there are," said Frodo, "familiar not with Joy Adamson and 'Born Free'."  Frodo has probably never spoken truer words.  In movie theaters, domestic and foreign, forty years ago, people everywhere knew Elsa and her relationship to the pairing of George and Joy Adamson.  The release of something so beautiful back to the wild touched heartstrings in people not otherwise known for even bearing the necessary organ.  In what were truly tumultuous times, the whole world seemed transfixed by the humanity involved, and we all had a good cry, just when we needed it most.

These are difficult times, again.  It goes without saying, and repetition accomplishes little in such a litany, that anxiety is rife.  Perhaps that is what led Frodo to "Google" the video.  Maybe it was the simple desire to observe the artistic application of a great voice to home-made movies.  More likely than not, it was some sort of need to know that mankind does reach out beyond himself, and that, sometimes, he gets a kiss.

Dear reader, you deserve something special.  Go and find "Christian the Lion Full-Music Video" ("lion" and "video" are all you need at "Google"), the search will not hurt you, and don't forget the tissues.  For the next four minutes just sit back and enjoy the marvelous Whitney, and make up your own dream about the lives we try to lead.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST
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Sunday, December 14, 2008
Stop, Look Around, Here It Comes
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Mon Petit Shoe"(4)

"I say it was a pair of Crocs."

"What do you think they did with the guy?  Abu Ghraib?  Guantanamo?  Or maybe they simply turned him over to al Sadr for 'the final solution'?"

"So was it the Secret Service that wrestled him to the ground, or a local?  Actually, he kind of looked like that guy from The Weather Channel who is always broadcasting from the place where the hurricane comes ashore."

"I understand he is dyslexic.  That explains why he kept calling Goober a dog."

"Have any of the rest of you ever heard him purposely say something funny?  Size 10, you say.  I wonder if that's Barneys' Mamas' dress size?"

"I understand somebody once threw a cabbage at Garfield when he was running for President, and after it stopped rolling across the stage, he looked down at it and remarked "I see my opponent has lost his head.'"

"Speaking of head, did you see Gregory on 'Meet the Press'?"

"So, where is this magical mystery tour taking us now?"

"I'll bet it's somewhere where no one wears shoes."

"Not Alabama again!"

"Are we going to get back home in time to save the automakers, prop up the stock market, or ride mountain bikes with Goober?"

"Truthfully, aren't you guys going to miss him?"

"What, do I look like 18% of the population?"

"What do you think the Magician would do if somebody threw their shoes at him?"

"Ha, he'd probably catch them and autograph them."

"I'd buy them."

"Did you notice that Goober actually ducked and avoided the first one?  The second one was kind of high and outside the strike zone."

"Did you notice no one jumped in front of him to take one for the Goober?"

"Would you?"


"Ladies and Gentlemen of the White House Press Corps, please return to your seats and prepare for landing.  Please raise your seats to their upright level, and fasten tray tables in front of you.  We are approaching our final stop before heading home tomorrow.  We should be on the ground momentarily."


"Hey, truthfully, does anybody recognize where we are?"

"Well I'll be, I do recognize the place. I did sports here for the ABC affiliate. Ladies and gentlemen, you will be privileged to attend the last visit of the President to Memphis."


"Yeah dude, we're going to Graceland."

"I get it, Elvis has left the building."



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:08 PM EST
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Saturday, December 13, 2008
We're Caught In A Trap, I Can't Walk Out
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Another Time/Place"(4)

Frodo had to resolve a dispute between two residents of Middle Earth for whom he had managerial oversight.  Saul was a Jewish guy from Philadelphia who had been a Marine during the War, had a vacation house on Long island, and a daughter from his first marriage on Broadway.  Cloretha was a black woman from Baltimore who had a string of academic credentials, and an unlimited professional future in front of her.  A disagreement on procedure was escalating into something personal, reflecting mutual disdain by the verbal combatants.

Saul, out of respect for Frodo, backed down.  In no short order however, he let Frodo know that he resented the carelessness of the opposition.  He felt that a lack of attention to detail was an indication of greater problems, and that it was a grave error to gloss over potential problems, no matter how insignificant they might seem at first glance.

Cloretha felt that as long as the intent was clear, responsible people would act, well, responsibly.  She indicated to Frodo that Saul was taking a "micro" approach to "macro" issues, and that results, which were significant, were the objective by which a true assessment should be drawn.

Both implied that the others' attitude reflected something sociological.  Frodo did not doubt that some of that was true, but he was required to balance both the achievements and the procedural requirements.  Neither of the combatants agreed with Frodo's final decision, which even Frodo has since long ago forgotten.  The issues however, come often to Frodo's mind.

Saul died of a heart attack some years ago.  His daughter, perhaps with theater lights as a backdrop, wrote Frodo that her father always respected Frodo, and that he had often remarked that Frodo was his best "commanding officer."  Saul never knew how high Frodo's regard will always be for one who served so admirably.

Three-and-a-half years ago, a young man named Brian Nichols broke free from incarceration in the Fulton County Courthouse in Atlanta, secured a firearm, killed four people, and beat another senseless.  Among those he killed were the judge and the prosecuting attorney who had decided his fate in a rape case.  During his escape he killed a prison guard, beat another mercilessly, and later massacred an innocent bystander who happened to be a federal agent.  Frodo took note of these grim news reports, and almost missed the reference to the parents of the alleged murderer. 

Brian Nichols mother was named Cloretha.  At the time of the murders, she and her husband were serving in Africa on an official mission for the United States Government to assist an ally nation in their internal operations.  Eventually, Frodo identified her from televison broadcasts as the same person he had known so long ago.  Although he never made contact, Frodo followed the reported details of her life after that dispute with Saul, and pieced together what had happened.  During the subsequent three-and-a-half years, Frodo listened and watched as Brian Nichols was eventually found guilty, and this morning, was sentenced to life imprisonment, without the possibility of parole, mainly because the jury could not unanimously agree on the death penalty.  Three people stood out from the twelve.

During this time, Frodo noted the defense allegation that much of Brian Nichols behavior was due to the parenting deficiencies of Cloretha and her husband.  The defense argued that because she was away from home so much, in pursuit of her career objectives, that Brian grew up without proper guidance.  Frodo could not help but feel the heartache on the face of a once-proud mother whose whole existence was being shredded publicly, and who had to feel that her son may die because of her ambition, and to the lack of attention she had paid to the details of his upbringing.

Frodo thinks often of Saul Gruber.  It was nothing personal.  He had given her the most important message of her whole life, and she failed to get it.  Knowing him, Frodo is convinced that he is crying for Cloretha Nichols, and for the innocent people who suffered because her son became a monster.  

A part of Frodo is very disappointed that this monster will retain hope to again escape, and to kill again.  Brian Nichols has neither evidenced nor expressed remorse for his crimes.  The other part of Frodo does not believe that a death sentence is ever fully-considered, and that there are no equitable standards for its implementation.  Perhaps, like art, Frodo may not understand all of it, but he certainly knows what he likes.  Osama bin Laden, Brian Nichols, and others, serve no purpose in our lives, dear reader, and we are better off without them. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:30 PM EST
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