Mood:  a-ok

It was truly in black-and-white, and that is the way that Frodo will always remember the images.  Slowly, without fanfare, the people came to pay their respects, and to share their grief.  As the train pulled into the train station in Baltimore, they began to sing, acappella, the mournful tune that was the favorite of he whom they lamented.  It was a song that Andy Williams performed at the funeral, a song which he swore to sing no more after that day.  It was a song that Frodo will always associate with those people who shared his grief as that train passed slowly by.  Baltimore, and its' very special people, earned Frodo's respect, and his affection, that truly terrible day.

Yesterday, just over forty years later, another train moved slowly southward toward Baltimore.  Frodo's black-and-white has long ago been replaced by superior technology, but he expected the imagery to be just the same.  Instead, the networks chose not to dwell on the comparison in Frodo's mind, forgetting, if not unaware, just how emotional such a moment might be for those who suffered so greatly.  The moments in Baltimore on this day were to be for the hopeful, the dreamers, those who look forward.  They would not provide fresh moments for those who live in memory.

It is, muses Frodo, as the PEBO (President-Elect Barack Obama) has orchestrated or been orchestrated throughout his campaign.  It is not the time to dwell on that which is behind us, simply because the tasks ahead are so daunting.  He would argue that we should never forget that which joins us all, the common experience, but forgiveness and letting our grief take its proper place are what we must do.

The younger ones know that to be true.  So, too, do the ghosts that stood there, unseen, along those railroad tracks, singing.  Frodo has reason, once again, to appreciate, and to respect, the images of Baltimore.  The tears were fresh, and proud. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:49 AM EST

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Mood:  rushed

"Hold it right there.  Can I help you?"

"Sure General.  How're you?  We're the movers."

"The movers?  Buddy, this is a pick-up truck?  I suppose you have some identification and documentation?"

"Raht cheer General.  We're 'Hobbits And a Truck,' no job too big or too small."

"Hmm.  Wait right there while I check on this."

"Sure thing General.  And while you're at it, would you check and see if they're prepared to pay cash?"

"You expect to be paid in cash?"

"That's the deal General, plus ain't you seen what's goin' on?  Man, no one can take a check on any bank and feel good about it."

"Hah.  You're right on that one."

"Now don't take too long, we'd like to get on the road to Texas fore dark."

"Charlie, you're not gonna believe this.  These guys ARE the movers."

"Jes what I told ya General.  Now listen, y'all boys know of a liquor store around here somewhere?  We need to get a few boxes."

"Central Liquor is on 15th, just around the corner from the FBI.  You guys need boxes for packing?"

"Sure, that's one way to hold costs down for our customers.  What's the story here, this place gettin' foreclosed upon?"

"Well, you might say that."

"This place looks kinda familiar."

"This your first trip to Washington?"

"Never been here before.  Jes took this job so's we could come and visit our money."

"That's an old joke."

"We ain't spring chickens ourselves."

"Well, just pull over here to the right, circle around to the back, and the guards there will direct you to the exit right by the elevator.  Do not get out of your truck until they tell you to do so.  They will screen you through security and search your truck."

"Say what General?  Search our truck?  Nobody said nothin' bout searchin' no truck.  Shoot, there might be an old reefer or somethin' in the bed."

"How did you boys get this job in the first place?"

"Well, Tom Bombadil here worked it out with this ole gal he met up in Alaska."

"Yeah?"

"We were up there lookin' for work at a turkey processing plant, and Tom was havin' a beer outside this here trailer park, when this ole gal come up ta him and started puttin' moves on him.  Well, he told her he wasn't much interested since he was a little short of cash."

"Then what?"

"Well General, she told him she might be able to help him out in that regard.  Next thing we know, we're on our way to Washinton to pick up a load of furniture and to take it to Texas."

"Interesting."

"That ain't the half of it.  Ole Tom here, jes been sittin' and smilin' ever since.  Only thing he's said is that from now on we're to address him as 'Joe DaPlummer'."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:35 PM EST

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Mood:  party time!

Grissom is leaving the Las Vegas Crime Lab tonight.  Gruesome is giving his Farewell Address in front of family, friends, and household pets.  Neither one will be wearing lipstick. 

Forensic anthropology has been transformed by the adventures of the man who brought entomological analysis into the same field once occupied by Boston Blackie and Sam Spade.  At the University of Tennessee, for example, there is a "garden" where donated human corpses lie exposed awaiting periodic analysis by forensic scientists-to-be.  The capacity does exist to scientifically determine "time of death" by the presence, or absence, of certain flesh-eating nematodes and their ilk.  Allowing the corpse to remain exposed to the weather also provides input to the scientist, as well as a certain pungency.  In any event, the number of enrollees in this specialized field of study has mushroomed (pun intended) since "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" brought slinky and sexy to bug would-be bad guys.

On the other hand, a somewhat uninspirational, if not ghoulish, character will smirk his final smirk for Frodo's bedevilment this evening.  Although Frodo suspects that the moronic performance at his final press conference will be surpassed in a few short seconds "en camera," Frodo would rather look for white flies on the body of an actor holding his breath.

How quixotic, don't you think, that an actor can inspire a generation of young people to seek a profession that is part science, part adventure, and all public service.  At the same time, someone who is elected President of the United States twice leaves office without the admiration or even high regard of almost anyone. 

Shoot, even today's kids can tell the difference between good acting and bad behavior.  Frodo still thinks the old man's condom broke. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:11 PM EST

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Mood:  don't ask

Frodo is going to break a promise.  He will absolutely do his best to never again break the pledge that he made, but, in this instance, he is totally unable to control himself.  The man who serves for seven more days as President of the United States is a lunatic.

Torture is not acceptable.  Failing to immediately muster all available military resources to effect civilian rescue efforts after Hurricane Katrina was incompetent.  Enacting a pre-emptive assault against a sovereign state is what the Japanese did, it is not what Americans ever do.  Consciously extending Presidential authority to conflict with the Constitution of the United States is an impeachable act.  Sending troops into combat with inadequate equipment, or treating their wounds in unsanitary conditions, gives the people the right to "alter or abolish" the government. 

If not Chuck Todd, then why didn't Helen Thomas step forward and just push that nut case away from the podium?  How did anyone remain silent when the Incomparable Moron alleged that we had "52 months of job growth" between the recessions?  Couldn't anyone muster enough self-righteous anger to simply yell at the cowboy asking "If Saddam had any WMD, then why didn't he use them against our troops on the very first day of the attack, when his whole regime was about to fall around him?"

It was for these reasons that Frodo stepped forward to stand against Sauron.  He felt alone on that day, and not until the Fellowship was complete could he engage in his effort to destroy the Ring.  He feels much the same now; angry, despondent, that a land so blessed, so very noble, could have tolerated such a buffoon for so long.

We owe the world a Coke, and their forgiveness.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:03 PM EST

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Mood:  rushed

Frodo took note of the banner above the web page, it said, simply, "15,000 jobs available right now", and the second line said "Baton Rouge."  Perhaps, thought Frodo, the real revival of the City of Orleans is at hand, and all it took was a Depression-style economy to make people abandon their homes and head out to greener pastures, again.  This time, instead of heading West, they may head South, and instead of picking fruit, they may be building houses.  The motorcars may be a little more modern, and the highways more accessible, but the stories will be much the same.

Frodo Joad may have just returned from his third tour in Iraq.  His wife, his mother, their two daughters, the turtle and the three dogs all piled into a 1993 Chevy Mini-van.  They leave their house near Stillwater behind, to the bank, and they search for the quickest route to the promise of tomorrow.  There are no jobs to the North, and they find the road clogged with license plates from rust-colored states that seem to extend all the way to Canada, and beyond.

There is only enough money to last for a few months, and tax breaks aren't going to offer much to a guy who wakes up at night, often in a cold sweat, calling names unfamiliar to anyone in his current entourage.  Loud noises frighten the dogs, and Frodo Joad.  But there is warming weather on the horizon, and everywhere they stop, people talk about the good food, the nice people, and the jobs, all of which lie before them.

Every night, someone seems to have a black-and-white tuned to a news broadcast, and they see him, talking about hope, and working together, and the fact that our greatest fears are our own.  They hold hands, some pray, but most just want to share as mammalians have done for thousands of years, under similar circumstances.  They go on, because they cannot go back.

The bridges are all re-built, but much remains to be re-constituted, and as they cross into the City of Orleans, the path should be wide and free to the opportunities which brought them to the Parish border.  What, dear reader, do we do, if the sign says "Okies, Go Home"?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:29 PM EST

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Mood:  mischievious

The gentleman, seated in a wheelchair, accompanied by a fellow entrepreneur, greeted his audience and said into the microphone "It is time for Congress to rejuvenate America."  Frodo looked up, in partial recognition of the gravelly-voiced speaker, and in order to take note of what was being broadcast on his black-and-white.  As the story line unfolded, Frodo's interest in any indication of activity toward economic recovery was readily apparent, but there was also a sparkle in the corner of his eye.

The speaker, and former resident of Gwinnett County, Georgia (frequent readers will remember the "Runaway Bride," 'the Barbie Bandits," and other evidences of sub-human behavior in this locale) was making a televised appeal for government assistance to an economically-depressed segment of American industry.  With rapier precision, he was advocating the committment of $5Billion to provide a stimulus to "the adult entertainment industry."  The speakers' name was Larry Flynt.  The former publisher of "Hustler" magazine was accompanied by the President and CEO of "Girls Gone Wild," the artful presenter of boobs from Bourbon Street to Panama City.  Frodo was entranced.

It is sometimes difficult, according to Frodo, to separate legitimate opinion from satire.  A businessman who was permanently paralyzed by a failed assassination attempt would seem to be a logical advocate for an industry which attracted the venemous effort on his life.  Remembering also, thought Frodo, that Flynt offered a $1Million reward for information to anyone who could provide definitive evidence of sexual misconduct by the inquisitors of William Jefferson Clinton.  The reward was claimed by the ex-wife (one of) Bob Barr (R-GA) who was then serving as one of the main accusators, who subsequently ran for the Presidency himself, as a "Libertarian" no less. 

Frodo is no fan of either Larry Flynt or Bob Barr.  Frodo is an adult who enjoys entertainment however.  Therein lies the conundrum. 

Although it is highly likely that Mr. Flynt revels in a periodic attempt at fifteen minutes or so of fame from time-to-time, Frodo also notes the public service that such satire offers to the citizenry of Middle Earth.  It gets us all thinking about stimulus, economic or otherwise. 

Didn't Lynda Lovelace hail from somewhere around Tupelo? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:58 PM EST

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Mood:  sharp

Several days ago an earthen dam broke in Tennessee, spilling tons of coal sludge into the free-flowing nearby waterways.  The resultant environmental impact appeared horrific, but that was quickly minimized by any and all public comment from the responsible government agencies.  Frodo snorkled over the denials, knowing full well that, over time, it would be found that chemical imbalances in the watershed would come to light.  What caught his attention in this instance was the location, variously reported as either Kingston or Harriman.  Frodo doesn't know anybody, as best he now knows, who lives in Kingston, but he does have a friend with roots in Harriman.

Frodo's friend attended the College of the Shire with Frodo.  Upon graduation, he became a minister, and is now actively retired.  Frodo has always felt a bit guilty about his friend's chosen profession, fearing that his friend turned to the task of salvation because of his association with the youthful and unrestrained Frodo Baggins.  Frodo has been assured that is only partly correct.

Frodo spoke with his friend this day to inquire about the status of his old homestead.  Frodo learned that the property damage all took place "down below" his friend's farm.  Frodo puzzled over that response, pointing out that if the damage had taken place "up above," then the farm would either be entirely submerged or could be otherwise taken as a symbol of heavenly retribution upon the earthly tenants. 

Frodo was assured that the damage had actually taken place outside of Harriman, and that the "city" was named in the news reports just so that the "media" could accentuate the relevance of the story.  It seems that the actual events all took place in the suburbs.

Now Frodo understands much of the public concern about the nature of news reporting, and how some people feel that whatever the media says is eternally biased.  Frodo's friend was asserting however, that the media referred to Harriman simply because it gave greater depth to the human interest of the story, than to accuracy.  Frodo supposes his friend would've preferred to hear the location described as rural eastern Tennessee.  To wit, uttered Frodo, "Balderdash!"

Among the reasons that Frodo never pursued a career in journalism, beside a tendency to use language which brought a flush to the countenance, was the specificity he chose in descriptive matters.  In this case, Frodo could have reported that "15 houses were washed downstream but nothing of value was destroyed."  More likely, his friend pointed out, Frodo would have written that the loss of "the Sarah Palin Trailer Park" would temporarily improve SAT scores in the local high school.  Frodo, it seems, would indeed have been a member of the "liberal media."

He supposes that it is truly a good thing that he did not choose to follow his friend into the ministry.  God only knows, and that is the reason why.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:14 PM EST

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Mood:  accident prone

Hobbits are not immune to human stupidity.  Despite the best of intentions, and purity of heart, a Hobbit may say something inappropriate, even when he knows better.  Afterward, while amidst the miracle of self-butt kicking, the Hobbit can be grateful only for the fact that his poor choice of words did not come from one who was a candidate for political office.  The feeling lives long thereafter however that he was the victim of a broader conspiracy.

Bilbo approaches the 91st year, and it is evident that the Ring still weighs heavily on the mind of Bilbo.  Winning an argument seems to be much more important than coming to terms with the end of life.  Perhaps it is fear, perhaps not, but Bilbo seems intent on soiling all others even when no purpose is served.  It is as if there is one final attempt to attain redemption by casting aspersions on all others.  The anger is not only uncharacteristic of Bilbo, it is demeaning to the legacy of one to whom Frodo owes so much.

The Ring also has an impact on Frodo.  Defending those under assault by Bilbo causes Bilbo to feel that Frodo is being disloyal, or a participant in treachery.  Frodo then finds himself striking at Bilbo, pointing out the error in the words of Bilbo, striving only to bring an end to harsh words and speculative conclusions.  Silence would certainly have been a wiser choice, but the pull of the Ring is why Sauron lives even in the hearts of men of goodwill, and, sad to say, in the Hobbit.

Soon it must be that Frodo will stand on a hillside, in order to wish Bilbo safe passage to a land beyond the Shire.  Apologize he will to all others in order to wipe the presence of the Ring from the memory of those who stand with him on that day.  Fear he has that his words will be heard only in the wind, and that which Antony lamented about Caesar will be proven true, once more.  Sadly, Frodo knows that day will begin with a scarlet sky, and ships will be strewn all about.  Frodo will try to be a good steward, but he cannot help but rue the part he must play.  

Defeating the Ring is much, much more than simply getting rid of a king without clothes.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:58 PM EST

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Mood:  amorous

Frodo seems to be thinking a lot about words these days.  "Transparency" is one that he must admit he had never considered in its' most recent context.  Before, transparency had an application to vision through packaging of some sort, and was therefore not a relevant point of discussion for anyone save some optical techie.  Times, however, have indeed changed.

Charles Barkley attended Auburn University on a basketball scholarship, and gained fame as the "Round Mound of Rebound."  A full-scale analysis of Frodo's memory bank at that time would respond favorably to the keywords, "overweight," "mutant," "dumb," "jock," "Alabama," and "black."  A Google search would today reveal that Barkley went on to the National Basketball Association (that paragon of learned scholars) and became a multi-millionaire retiree who spread his verbosity throughout the land as a broadcaster.

Barkley, to say the very least, has become quite the center of controversy.  Known throughout as someone who said exactly what he thought (the refreshing nature of which is dependent upon a certain level of subjective knowledge), Frodo took note of Barkley's willingness to make people angry.  His criticism of under-achieving athletes and coaches was not mind-altering, but Barkley did strike a receptive cord when he began to express political opinion.

Charles Barkley announced that he was a Republican, and that he had disdain for those who did not share his belief in the value of hard work.  Coming from a multi-millionaire who owed his fortune to a child's game, that was a tad bit more hypocrisy than Frodo could stand.  What was really interesting however, were his tittering references to being able to do better than the current leadership in the political realm.

Last week, Barkley announced to Campbell Brown (since nobody watches that show) and the wire services that he was going to return to his home State of Alabama and run for Governor in 2014 (state law requires 5 years of legal residence for eligibility).  His timing might have been a little better.

On New Year's Eve the announcements began to accumulate as "Breaking News" on all the cable channels (Frodo is unable to comment on the reporting by Faux News).  The Governor-to-be, it seemed, had been arrested and charged with DUI in his current home State of Arizona (home to John McCain, among others).  With the latest reports it was disclosed that Barkley had another passenger in his motorcar when arrested (not his wife, it was added).  When asked if he had been drinking, he responded as we have come to expect, honestly, forthrightly.  When asked why he was driving so erratically, Barkley again responded without equivocation.

It seems that about a week ago Mr. Barkley had had an encounter with that same passenger in his motorcar, and had been given the best (for the record, and reflecting good taste, the terms "oral sex" were substituted by the reporting institutions) he had ever had.  He was driving erratically because he was in a hurry to pull off the road and to once again suffer the same experience.

Although he finds the results somewhat amusing, Frodo prefers to return to his prior understanding of "transparency," and to hope that neither Henry Paulson nor Ben Bernanke are performing a similar act upon our collective organs.   As for Mr. Barkley, Frodo would pay real money to be an observer of the 2014 gubernatorial contest in Alabama.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:46 PM EST

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Mood:  chatty

Arrogance is omnipresent, and even the smallest and the weakest must recognize its' individual tendencies.  Frodo cannot understand why anyone would ever be less than enthusiastic about a movie, a song, or a book that he happens to add to his favorites list.  What's more, Frodo can grow cross with someone who does not pay proper homage to something he recommends.  Frodo believes that such people are either (1) Republicans, (2) Dallas Cowboy fans, (3) Terrorists,  (4) barristers, or any combination thereof.  The fact that such a person may also own or possess a "blackberry," an "I-Pod," or a telephone that transmits photographs of approaching tornados means that Frodo is not as tolerant of others as he would like to think.

This diatribe is leading Frodo to the conclusion that he should actually consider a few resolutions for the New Year.  Added in is Frodo's reaction to the picture of President-elect Obama on vacation in Hawaii, demonstrating some pretty solid "abs."  Frodo had abs once, and he'd like to think that he isn't so far removed from that stage of physical presence that he couldn't re-discover their existence.  This identifies another character flaw in the Hobbit, that which we call "wishful thinking."  Biblical scholars might simply note that Frodo is an admitted sinner in this demonstration of coveting his neighbor's abs (how clever is the Hobbit, you ask?).

Absent the desire to introduce himself to equipment salvaged from Abu Ghraib and offered for sale on cable channels which seem to run all night and never offer programming, Frodo can be further identified as lacking in initiative.  This may actually be demonstrated in his preference for warmer climes, and thereby explain his increasing tendency to wander neither as far nor as fast as in his younger days.  He gets concerned when he finds himself involved in something that is merely transitionsal, with no true end in sight.  Mowing the lawn, raking leaves, washing the motorcar, are all tasks which seem only to breed rather than to conclude.  Frodo is very concerned about over-breeding.

In sum, Frodo can be arrogant, he can be contradictory, and he most certainly can be lazy.  His true concern is that he is closer to George W. Bush than he ever imagined.   

Frodo resolves to be better. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:10 PM EST

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