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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
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"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"Sticker Shock"
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
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"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
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"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
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"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
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"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
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"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
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"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
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"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
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"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
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"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
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"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"To Arms, To Arms"
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"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
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"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
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"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
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"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
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"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
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"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
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"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Friday, July 5, 2013
Ain't That America
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Causal Relationships"(9)

849 guns were seized by airport screeners from the baggage and/or clothing of airline passengers attempting to board at US airports during the recently completed first-half of the calendar year.  Nearly every one of the detainees responded that they "forgot".

Zimmerman-v-Martin (decd.) dominates the airwaves, and Frodo is doing everything in his power to avoid the cacophony.  He cannot help but feel that some feign interest as they did when OJ Simpson captured the national imagination.  Frodo does not argue the issues in Zimmerman-v-Martin because he will piss off everyone who reads his opinion.  Frodo does not see the complexity of the issue, and points back to the increasing presence of guns existant for the mere purpose of ending life, indiscriminately.  Why else would one person follow another, as did Zimmerman, seeking to disprove Martin's apparent innocence in transit home?

Perhaps Zimmerman forgot about his handgun?  Perhaps Wayne LaPierre is a co-conspirator?  Perhaps Trayvon looked too much like Barack Obama?  Perhaps Zimmerman is just another "loser" with a little dick? 

Isn't that why he carried a gun in the first place?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:39 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Thousands of People in The Streets
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "Mudbums"(9)

Tommy Yanosky attended Cornell University prior to his service with the guys who draw maps.  Significant it is because this was the last that anyone ever heard of him.  So long ago now that the conversations rarely even include an acknowledgement of his historical star power to the Fellowship.  Tommy Yanosky was a bright enough guy, but he was also the best fisherman any of us ever knew.

While Legolas and Frodo played baseball, Yanosky patrolled the rapids and pools of the rivers nearby, teaching himself the artistry of Izaak Walton, et al.  By accident one day, the Fellowship followed Yanosky and they saw him catch a mighty fish.  The hook, it seems, was more wide-spread than that which brought the monster to shore, for it resulted in the first great economic demands of Frodo's life.  Soon each was driven to the purchase of products by organizations like Shakespeare, Heddon, and objets d'art called "Tiny Lucky 13," "River Runt," and "Finnish Minnow."

The countless days spent wading and crossing rapids in search of picene giants were to the members of the Fellowship as were those known to Huck, Tom, and interestingly, Jim too.  Early on, the Fellowship noted Yanosky's reference to "Willie" and the "mudbums" who it seems were always nearby.  They ate the fish that they caught, and they welcomed the addition of those assembled by the Hobbits and Elves.  For Frodo's friends eating fish from industrialized runoff was deemed less attractive than half a dozen burgers, fries, and a shake.  It made the Hobbits feel "noble" and it certainly opened many a conversation with inhabitants of the far corners of Middle Earth.  Given the politics of the day, it was not a surprise that heroic liberalism grew exponentially.

Frodo learned that great changes do occur, and the most important changes seem to emanate from streets and byways when people assemble.  Frodo has seen people just like the mudbums take on the irrationality of a nineteenth century world a hundred years unchanged, and do so almost entirely alone.  Perhaps they, too, desired a more modern world.  He watches now as beautiful and wealthy women gather to make a mockery of inane politicians with names like Kasich and Perry.  They march, and they chant, and they obstruct.  In the most ancient of worlds Egyptian youth react against religious intolerance, and they are assembled in "numbers too big to ignore."  Frodo has also learned that patience prevails despite the fact that the passage of time ensures the presence of a violent act by those not willing to share burgers and fries.

The "Arab Spring" is far from a footnote in world history.  On this day the mudbums are replaced by different actors, but the lines are just the same.  Tommy Yanosky is out there, somewhere, artfully manuvering the slippery pathways which open young eyes to angels with dirty faces.       

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:14 PM EDT
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Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wondering What Kind of Dress to Wear Now
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "What if JR Shot Back"(9)

The local news in the Shire is the worst in all of Middle Earth.  If it appears in the daily newspaper, then it will surely follow on the early afternoon news.  If it appears on the early afternoon news then it will surely follow in the morning edition of the newspaper.  If there was an automobile accident in Clayton County (don't ask) or a thunderstorm anywhere near Carrollton then it will be "breaking news".  For true, the two stories mentioned above will acount for at least half of the 22 minutes not otherwise identified as "good news " by any of the broadcasters who mindlessly stare into the lens before them.

On the CBS affiliate there are "hard questions," or so they allege.  Frodo notes that of the three broadcasting personalities, all are women, and two are black.  The consistency is shattered by the reality that the white gal never gets to sit in the middle.  Frodo supposes that somebody may consider the definition of an Oreo to be of concern.

The ABC affiliate does its best to maintain network independence by broadcasting the "national news" a full half-hour later than the other networks, on vidotape or whatever the technology is known as currently.  This, of course, gives said station the capacity to cover the weather in Manitoba, Macon, and Blairsville.  Add in the fact that some middle school administrator may have written a check that bounced and there is nothing short of a firing squad in formation.

The NBC affiliate includes "dead-head Fred," a sports announcer who suffered health problems some years ago and has been granted a lifetime job, no matter if he remembers who played the game, or if one was even played at all.

What is sadly true is the fact that not a single story dealt with any type of investigative journalism.  Every report is the result of a press release, or a story line initiated elsewhere.  But, worst of all is the fact that it seems to be getting worse. 

Now Frodo knows that all news services are experiencing drops in revenue, but only in the Shire does it seem to be true that all that remains is what comes easy, and cheap.  The only mystique is in the wardrobe. 

And people wonder why so many tune in John Stewart?     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:45 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 27, 2013
Make It Easy On Yourself
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Tripod Hackers?"(9)

Frodo has always admired the word inertia.  In some ways, it describes Frodo and his dogged determination to see something through to conclusion.  Similarly, it poses the question once suggested by Bert Lance, "If it ain't broke, then don't fix it."  Mr. Lance, it should be added didn't last long in the job.

Should all things remain the same, Frodo has planned to keep on typing, but he is facing technological challenges incubated by people who communicate poorly.  He has been informed that the server he has been using lo these many years is being "deprecated" (whatever the Hell that means).  This leads, if Frodo guesses correctly, to someone requiring him to try the "new and improved" model, free for the first 90 days, then invoicing him for twice the amount he has committed to his projects in the past. 

In all candor, Frodo has long known that he has paid money for services usually offered for free.  Inertia has been the tool that kept things to a venue of limited change for frequent value.  If inertia is removed, then Frodo is going to have to decide how to proceed.  Frodo does not envy the prospect of additional hours before a personal computer for the mere purpose of filling in the forms required.  Be forewarned, if anyone is still out there, that a measure of change may be at hand, at least as long as Mount Doom encapsulates a threat to Hobbits, everywhere.

If you look for Frodo, and cannot find him keep trying.  He'll find a way to clear your path and to open the Black Gate.  If you keep on keeping onto these pages without problems, then Frodo will try, even harder, to make the trip worthwhile.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:40 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 23, 2013
People Everywhere Just Want to be Free
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Bottom Ten"(9)

Texas, it should be apparent to any who have ever read anything penned by the Hobbit, is the absolute worst place in the world.  Frodo believes that every resident inside the geographical boundary thereof is either brain dead or absent the resources to depart.  The facts involved caused Frodo to muse over the other states that have absolutely no appeal to the Hobbit.  So, for the record, and with apologies to the people trapped within these borders through no fault of their own, the next nine follow.

Oklahoma, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Utah arguably complete the "Bottom Ten" list headed, of course, by Texas.  There are other states of dubious distinction, Arizona, West Virginia, Georgia, North Dakota, and Indiana which come readily to mind, but given the fact that 30% of Middle Earth has already been identified as individual toilet bowls, the Hobbit will halt here.

The Hobbit feels a certain obligation to provide a sense of scope to these ratings.  Note that any state absent either mountains or a seashore is automatically identified as unfit for Hobbit habitation.  The "Tea Party," the Mormon Church, the Southern Baptist Convention, Newt Gingrich, and the Koch Brothers are also institutions needing "institutionalization" as opposed to the presence of the Hobbit.

Despite the just, plain evil that exists in this list, no one, no where, can compare to the land that gave us George W. Bush, Rick Perry, Jerry Jones, John Connolly, Willie Gomert, Sam Stockman, and a trailing entourage beyond description.  Let it simply be said that it is always a good day on the outside of these terrible places and the people who stay there.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:22 AM EDT
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Thursday, June 13, 2013
I Hear You Knocking, But You Can't Come In
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Snowed-in"(9)

Frodo has advocated, from time-to-time, that there is no problem confronting the citizens of Middle Earth which is, in-and-of-itself, unique.  From natural disasters to despotism, from scientific discoveries to the plague there are no new problems, only a changing capacity to respond.  With this thought in mind, Frodo has marveled at the discourse concerning the contract employee formerly directed by Booz, Allen & Hamilton who has admitted to violating the top secret security clearance issued to him by the National Security Agency.  Most interesting has been the variance between those who believe the young man has committed treason, and those who applaud him for disclosures which seemingly protect the national right to privacy.

Recognizing that his life has changed forever, the young man has set upon the task of finding himself a new homeland.  Communicating from Hong Kong, and its proximity to the Chinese mainland, gives an automatic direction toward those hackers/hackees who recognize the value of data mining in the face of one's major economic opponent.  At the same time, our subject himself suggested other possible ports in his personal storm including, of all places, Iceland.

Frodo remembered from his past voyages in that part of Middle Earth that said suggestion is particularly appropriate.  The USAF base at Keflavik has long been a presence of protection and rescue services for this NATO ally.  Said factoid would make it a remote possibility that the Icelandic government would grant sanctuary to one sought by the most powerful nation on our small blue planet.  However, the truth is that Iceland has a proud history of dealing with individuals, be they undesirables or merely of questionable morality.  It is obvious that our violator may not know of what Frodo speaks.

There is no capital punishment in Iceland.  What they do is take an individual out into the very middle of this barren landscape, and leave him.  No one has ever returned.

Mr. Snowden's "genius" in information technology would be put to the max.  Unfortunately the "Escape" button would be frozen, as would he.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:56 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 9, 2013
What The World Needs Now
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "Sunday, Sunday"(9)

Frodo has purchased a new motorcar.  There is no pleasure greater than the flawless performance of something new and sleek, that smells good and draws the attention of friends and neighbors.  Unless, of course, one fails to eliminate winning the Power Ball from consideration.

Frodo has had many new (and some not-so-new) cars, but there is something different about this time, and it relates to the ever-changing technology which either adds to our freedom, or detracts from it, neither of which provide an encompassing response thereto.  Frodo was particularly attracted to the sun roof, which stretches all atop the vehicle, but in typical Frodo historiography, he began to push buttons before reading the instructions.  The ominous color and passing of clouds forced the need for Frodo to halt progress, and to enlist Sam into the fray.

As the Hobbits ventured further afield, they noted that the motorcar was not evidencing any leaks at all amid the downpour which followed them into the parking lot of the retail establishment.  Frodo was grateful.  They found neither was familiar with exactly how one not only turned the wiper, the air conditioning, and the radio off, but they were mutually unable to halt the engine itself.  Frodo felt like an inauspicious fool until noting the same occurrence in two or three other cars in the same parking lot.  Evidence, he supposes, that the economy is performing far better than alleged by Mitt Romney or John Boehner.

Frodo's new car does not have a key.  Instead he has a "bauble" which he carries in a pocket so that it can communicate with the locking system to disengage whenever Frodo ventures near the parked motorcar.  It is supposed to work thus in reverse, but Frodo was unable to verify that new feature upon his return to the parking lot.  Short of an emergency call to the dealership, Frodo found a secondary path and followed necessary instructions.

Sam was able to get the "media system" up and running.  It is filled however with celtic and highland claptrap, all of which draws Frodo away from true American musical artistry.  Frodo will learn how to override in the immediate future.

There is a television camera arears which, it need be added, was a primary attraction to the increasingly stiff-necked Hobbit who found this as an alternative to spinal dexterity lost moons ago.  Now Frodo can concentrate on the camera playback on his dashboard, and manuver in reverse without dimembering small children or fauna alongside the driveway.  Unfortunately, Frodo has already learned that concentrating on the dashboard discourages attention paid to the road ahead.  Sam's heart is in tatters already.

Frodo's father had amazing mechanical skills, but he was terribly close-minded to technology, having stated on numerous occasions that such devices were merely "one more thing to go wrong."  Frodo wonders what he would have thought of a "bluelink" telephone which completes calls without any charges for long distance.  In truth, he would probably have identified it as a "communist tool" somehow enriching Standard Oil of New Jersey.

Frodo's father would also have objected to the national origin of the automaker.  But that remains for another story, on another day.  Until then, one may find Frodo, pushing buttons, and wondering why he can't get the frost off the windshield.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:07 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 2, 2013
Does Anybody Really Know What Time It IS?
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Power Surge"(9)

Frodo was unsettled by the message from an old friend, telling him that her son didn't think that the struggle for civil rights was "all that bad."  Surely, there was no need for a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist to get involved in a debate that reflected ideological bigotry at the expense of human progress.  It was the rumble of thunder in the distance that brought the Hobbit to a halt, and seemingly made him remember that he was supposed to be limping on gimpy knees.

It does not seem that long ago when there was no water in the Shire.  Frodo was prevented from washing his motorcar or bringing relief to the scorched flora therein.  Now, however, it rains every day, tornadoes cast a scythe across the plains, temperatures rise with the stock markets, and fall, similarly, without explanation.  The only constant is the trembling of canine companions at the foot of Frodo, looking for him to bring a halt to the insanity.  Frodo, alas, has no answers to questions so basic, and still it rains.

For many days Frodo dreamed of a time when multiple targets at the end of an open road would beckon to receive the Hobbits and their companions.  When the great water dish in the sky grew too cold, the beaches would beckon, then a balance would be struck whenever the gardens of the Shire required Frodo's guiding hand.  How foolish was the Hobbit, for none of honor can retreat from the libertarian and the reactionary who avoid the simplest of truths, in the name of money and/or power.  Joseph McCarthy did not die, he was genetically re-tooled.

Frodo will do better.  He will speak louder.  He will send money.  He will not suffer in silence listening to the prattle of those children who worship amid the flies on the head of a pig.  Others should do the same. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:07 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 23, 2013
Down the Mississippi, Down to New Orleans
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Promises to Keep"(9)

He sat by his Mother's bed, as he told Frodo, and shortly before she passed asked him to promise her that he would enter the priesthood.  Frodo did not comment, he knew this was not the goal his friend had set for himself.  Perhaps that is why the two Hobbits moved on with their lives, never the twain to cross again.  Frodo, now much older, is indeed wiser, and he has directly avoided similar circumstances in his dealings with people who ask for promises.

Bilbo was a master of the harangue.  As the end time grew closer and closer, Bilbo repeatedly sought his committment to make sibling peace.  Frodo had no intention of so doing, at least while Bilbo lived, for Bilbo was much the reason that the next generation collapsed.  Despite best efforts subsequently, peace was "the next gale that sweeps from the North . . . bring the clash of resounding arms" and the conflict endures.  It may have been the first, but it was certainly not the last.

Frodo was fooled by one he thought a friend, but that did not stop him from finally making a death-bed promise.  His loyalty and affection for the now departed's spouse erased the treachery of one who was prepared to ask a favor.  Frodo took the initiative however, without disclosing his knowledge of the actions so characteristic of the renegade.  Before the words were stated, Frodo said, "I will take care of her, and see that she is safe."  He responded back with relief and a smile, and the back slap which Frodo knew signaled only his relief, and not a scintilla of affection.

Today, the fortress is strong.  Safety, security, and the turning of a page to new levels of excitement and mental ingenuity are in her possession.  It was an overlong and overdrawn process, clear to Frodo at the very beginning, but obstructed by those with barely half enough information.  Frodo is sure that the source of the initial promise is pleased, but Frodo knows that he is now cleared for his final trial, most probably in the Seventh Circle (or in the Republican Caucus of the House of Representatives).  Now Frodo can go fishing with Sam, and never think of that prick again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:08 PM EDT
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Sunday, May 19, 2013
I'm Out of Touch
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "The Great Quixote" (9)

Frodo has always wondered if others think about being "out of step."  Occasionally, he will hear someone disparage something or someone he particularly admires, and that doesn't bother him nearly as much as someone giving "rock star status" to something or someone that Frodo can't fathom.  Frodo has written previously about "Don Quixote," and he has assumed that the cultural differences therein are the reason he believes this to be among the most boring books ever published.  It does not however, explain the fact that he ranks "The Great Gatsby" similarly.  In fact, only "Silas Marner"amongst all of English literature brings back horrific memories beyond those presented to Frodo by F.Scott Fitzgerald.

In recent days, science has reversed itself when the "happiness" and "self-satisfaction" considerations of the wealthy are put under the microscope.  Until now, we have been lead to believe that "money can't buy happiness."  Frodo has always questioned said principle, and is somewhat elated to find that science now supports his opinion (rare as that may be).  This explains, at least in the mind of Frodo, that the ever-widening gap between rich and poor is probably nothing more than evasive propaganda emanating from those who have it, and don't wish to explain why they want to keep it.  It also allows Frodo a little slack when he draws up a plan to distribute to the deserving his anticipated winnings in the Power Ball each and every time he plays.

Money is good.  Money is something that one earns and uses to purchase needs and wants.  Obviously, satisfying one's needs is paramount.

Perhaps that is why Frodo found such inspiration in "The Grapes of Wrath;" the struggle of hard-working people is to be admired.  It may explain also why the Hobbit was unable to identify with the dry martini lifestyle featured in Gatsby.  Robert Redford will always be "The Sundance Kid," and the new guys in the new movie release have captured nothing revolutionary in Frodo's opinion of Mitt Romney.

Frodo's point isn't really so nebulous.  Rich people, for the most part, do suck, and the books they write about themselves have chapters too long for bathroom exposition.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:48 PM EDT
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