Mood: accident prone
Topic: "We Sank a Truck"
Frodo was reminded of one hilarious scene in the old movie "Operation Petticoat," (starring Cary Grant) where a buxom nurse bumped into the torpedo firing mechanism on a submarine, causing it to discharge a torpedo prematurely. The torpedo missed the Japanese freighter for which it had been intended, ran up onto a nearby beach, and struck a parked truck. Frodo was so reminded by the untimely death of a sparrow in Amsterdam.
Last month the employees of television company Endemol NV were attempting to enter the Guinness Book of World Records by setting up more than 4 million dominoes in order to break the record for falling dominoes during a live on-air broadcast. Unfortunately, a sparrow flew through an open window and knocked over 23,000 of the dominoes by accident. The event was saved only by a series of built-in gaps which prevented the bird from knocking over all of the dominoes.
In a fit of rage, the hapless sparrow was shot by an exterminator with an air rifle.
The story does not end here. It seems there is a Dutch animal protection agency, somewhat akin to PETA, and they have demanded that the enraged exterminator be prosecuted. In an attempt to mollify their audience the company has proposed an on-air memorial for the sparrow during the telecast.
Frodo has been asked to say a few words.
"Friends, we are gathered here today, not in sorrow but in celebration of the all too short life of our avian companion. Struck down amidst the confusion of a bustling alien world this simple creature made an almost indelible mark on the lives of the people with whom he came into contact. He fell to the technology which allows us to master the creatures over whom we hold dominion."
Frodo raised his hands from the podium as he completed his remarks. "Let us pledge ourselves to not forget this simple life and to remember the power that is ours. All of life in this Shire is in our hands, and when we strike, whether from fear or ignorance, we act in the name of our Creator. It is an awesome responsibility, and its' results should never be used to justify its' use. The end of life, no matter how small, is something each of us must consider when we act to hasten the moment for any of the others who inhabit Middle Earth."
Whether or not all of the dominoes fell at one time seemed a little less important as Frodo walked from the stage.
"Speak, Ubu, speak."