Mood: party time!
Topic: "Barely Defensible" (2)
Frodo is forced to admit that until yesterday he had never heard the name of Joe Cullen. That really isn't so strange because Frodo has not only never been to Detroit, but he's never had any interest in changing his status in that regard. Not until Sam first saw the movie "Somewhere in Time" did Frodo ever even consider visiting the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. To Frodo that part of Middle Earth only has two seasons; winter and the Fourth of July.
Joe Cullen is the Defensive Line Coach of the Detroit Lions Professional Football Team, that is, at least for the time being. It seems that Coach Cullen has come into conflict with the local gendarmerie in Dearborn on two occasions in the past two weeks. In the first instance Coach Cullen was charged with driving while intoxicated, a serious offense, but hardly earth-shattering since there were no apparent victims of Cullens' stupidity. The second incident however, merits at least a sideways glance.
According to the ticket itself, the Coach was "driving on a public street without any clothes on (NUDE)." The Lions' Management responded to an inquiry with an apology, and stated that alcohol was involved. Coach Cullen made no statement but did request treatment. No specific "treatment" was identified in the request.
Frodo can not stand by idly without rising (pun intended) to defend Coach Cullen. Obviously, Coach Cullen, while driving, was considering how best to defend against the offensive play, the "naked reverse." He would probably yell at his players to "Let it all hang out," and for each player to try and "strip the ball" from the opposing ball-carrier. If one of his players happened to be "faked out of his jockstrap," then he would make sure that they would "butt heads" during practice after the game.
The thing that will probably hurt the Cullens' defense however, is the "Hail Mary" that attracted the attention of passersby.